Hiya!

Maru-Nyan here with some more Noragami/Yatori. Man, I'm just so fascinated with Yato's origins and how he made it to being the type of god who could pull from the darkness and accept people's help, so this is what happened, of course there will be Yatori.

This first chapter is more of set-up, so no Yatori just yet. Yato had demons and he's always been so sheltered and never let anyone in, so I wanted to take a look at that struggle.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NORAGAMI

[PART I- PUNISHMENT;REDEMPTION]

The years have taught Yato that the most beautiful of things always coincide with the worst. He's learned that love- false love- can be used for manipulation. He's been a different person entirely and it has been a journey to get where he is now. He's so tired and in his heart of hearts he knows that he's lost a part of himself, or rather, that since that day- when Sakura learned of her name and he had to kill her- that his heart hardened and became wracked with guilt; he's irrevocably haunted.

On that day, a shift occurred and slowly, almost invisibly, cracks started to form in his life until it completely broke apart.

Once you see something, it's hard to go back to the time when you didn't see the truth. The introduction of Sakura into his life was both a blessing and a curse he supposes…for many reasons.

His world no longer consisted of the island that was his home with Father and Hiiro. The horizon was no longer the limit, and instead Yato savored the invitation to keep chasing it. He got to go into the village and he saw how people exchanged currency to get something; he gave Sakura a flower to apologize for stealing- stealing was bad, he told himself. Yato was able to play with other children, and although they forgot him after a while, they were always inviting and gave him smiles.

He loved her in the way that he supposes he would if he were a normal human. She was the being that nurtured him and gave him warmth and understanding; she was like a "mother". She looked at him like he wasn't a weapon- although she had seen what he could do- and asked how he was feeling and how his day had been. Father only ever asked how his skills were and how many ears he had collected- and only for that did he receive praise.

Sakura gave him a new name- she had misread his- but he went along with it and he believed that maybe he could be this "Yato" and make her smile. Her hugs provided a warm comfort that seemed to fill something hollow within him. His days with her were vibrant and he looked forward to when he'd see her, but nothing went unseen by Father.

It got hard to "play" as usual. His hands shook and he couldn't stop staring at the eyes of those that asked for his mercy. He pictured Sakura and her disappointed face and remembered when she said with tears streaming down her face, "Killing is wrong!"

Something had changed. He had changed. He didn't want to disappoint Sakura, but he also wanted to please Father. If it weren't for him, he would never have existed. He needed to kill, more, so much more so he would never be able to tell there was something wrong. He needed Father to be proud of him, but that meant Sakura would hate him.

He couldn't make them both happy. He was lying to everyone trying to be two different people. He just couldn't do it. It was a constant battle in his head.

"How many today, Yaboku? ….that's my boy."

"Killing is wrong!"

"You're a god- you can take whatever you want."

"Master Yato, you use money if you want something."

"Yaboku."

"Master Yato."

YABOKU. MASTER YATO. YABOKU. MASTER YATO. YABOKU. MASTER YATO. YABOKU. MASTER YATO.

Just who was he?

The more that Yato wanted to run towards the horizon and be that other version of himself, the more he realized that he was trapped. The whip marks on Hiiro's back served as a reminder that others would suffer for his new attitude.

For the briefest moment, he felt disgust when Father said, "If something is wrong, it must be coming from the inside."

"I'm doing this for you, Yaboku. I don't want anything to hurt you," Father said with a smile that he once thought kind, but Yato could now see the cracks and emptiness behind it.

He wanted to make his Father proud, but there was also a feeling of trepidation that Yato began to feel towards him.

Things couldn't remain the way they were and they didn't. Sakura met Hiiro when Yato was cleaning her wounds in the river and when they went back to their home, that was when Hiiro mentioned it.

"Have you ever wondered why you died or what your real name was?"

Despite the loud voice in his head, he said it: "Tamanone."

She had been kind, beautiful, and everything good, that was until he tarnished her, until he turned her into a monster and had to erase her. Father had found them when she had begun to transform and Yato realized that the only thing he could do was kill her.

He took it all from her. She had the possibility of living a life as a shinki- as a shinki she could still be considered living at least- but his naiveté caused him to utter her name and he had to stop what he had made her. One slash and she would be nothing; all he gave her was darkness.

After she disappeared, he released Hiiro and cursed himself as he looked down at his hands. It was in that moment that he realized how terrible his power and deeds truly were. His eyes stung with the need to cry, but he wouldn't do it while Father watched. His throat felt tight and raw as he held back his tears. His eyes slightly widened when Father placed his hand upon his head.

"You still have me Yaboku. I'll never leave you."

Yato wanted to laugh bitterly because he found no comfort in the words. Those words could not quell the ache and emptiness he currently felt. He had stolen her life, her happiness and tarnished her. He would never be able to forgive himself for this. Sakura, who was warm and full of life was no more...and it was all his fault.

...

His heart grew colder from then on. He didn't stray from his Father's side and would always "play", but it was like he was on autopilot. He felt so cold.

As time went on, Yato became more detached and quiet. The feelings towards his Father weakened. He didn't care for his praise and Hiiro's company became suffocating. He wanted to be referred to by his new name. Hiiro complied with an icy tone, but Father did not.

At his prime, Yato was greatly feared and oddly enough, one day a shinki came asking him for help to kill all his clan.

He accepted and got two things in return for completing the job. The master, Bishamon, pledged a vendetta against him. He didn't mind it, he wanted to be hated. Yato also gained the support of the shinki and he couldn't understand it.

Kazuma- that was his name- wasn't good at going by inconspicuously and Yato would always see him leaving things for him. How long would this continue?

The oddest thing he had received from Kazuma had been a small blade. It puzzled him and he couldn't understand what need he would have for a common weapon when he had a shinki.

That blade got him thinking though, and the smothering feeling of the quiet of his home with Father finally took its toll. He decided to get away; he just walked away one day with only that blade in hand.

His wandering lead him to interesting places and he met more gods and received unusual requests.

He had met another shinki who had asked him for help to cut his ties. Yato could see the blight coming over him. He had nothing though, only his blade, but he wanted to do something. So, he made a sweeping motion cutting some of the small ayakashi clinging to the shinki and said he had completed the job. He wasn't sure why he lied, but it seemed to do what was needed. When Yato came back to the same location, a part of him felt glad that the shinki and his master had put themselves together.

As the years went on, he continued to visit and watch over them until they noticed and slowly, they opened their home up to him. He had a place to breathe. He liked the master, she was Kofuku- god of poverty- and she was almost as much a mess as he was. She caused bad luck wherever she went and she didn't let it get her down. She was strong and had Daikoku. The steadfast loyalty that he had for his lady made something within Yato burn- he realized it was yearning.

As Yato saw more of the world, that burning feeling only intensified. He tired of meaningless wandering and he wanted to do something. He also found that he was pretty lonely.

It took a lot within him to pick up another shinki again. When he would look at the crimson characters, his eyes would play tricks on him and he'd believe that the name would become tarnished. He couldn't escape what he did, but he wanted to honor Sakura in some way. Yato decided to class his shinki by names ending in "Ne", for Sakura and the name he should have never spoken, "Tamanone"

Yato had received many years of freedom, so much so that he stopped thinking of his Father, but he should have known, he was never truly free. Nora would come to visit and give him Father's requests. He'd disappear for a time because of them and by the time that he came back, most of Yato's shinki wanted to be released. His life was currently being interrupted and he was always left behind, but Yato wanted to do something. He wanted to be a different type of god. He wanted to become the god Sakura believed he could be.

Yato began to dream of the horizon once more. He wanted to obtain a powerful shinki and for it to become a blessed regalia. He wanted a shrine and followers. In all this time, he still had Kazuma helping him from the "shadows". He couldn't understand why since his debt had long been paid, but...the help was comforting nonetheless.

The horizon would come soon in the form of a girl. She was something he never expected. Her name was Hiyori.

Well, Yato meets Hiyori next chapter and we'll get to see how she makes an impact.

Thanks for reading, I'll try to be consistent with updating. Review? ;)