Hoi. This is ExistentNalu speaking. I hope you're all having a lovely week. This is the first rewritten (or edited?) part to my story; Think Once, Think Again. I hope you've been enjoying my other stories (or story?) so far. I don't really have anything to say, other than, Enjoy!

YIKES I DON'T KNWO WHY I SAID HOI THINKING I WAS SOME UNIQUE QUIRKY UNICORN BUT I HAVE CHANGED I PROMISE NAKFAK and hey this is the newly revised version so i hope u enjoy ;)) and it's my birthday soon im LIT so yeah. its nice to be writing after some time but honestly i wanted to get back into it earlier bcs i missed it? like? a lot? so yeah. i may change.. like.. a lOT of stuff but i don't wanna do it all at once. so these updates will be random and i'll sort out some sort of schedule on like sunday. ive changed iroshiyas information a lot so i'll try to post something like that eventually,, until then enjoy and have a nice day. BY THE WAY MY WRITING SYTLE IS REALLY WEIRD? IT CAN SWTICH FROM SOME ACTUAL STRUCTURE TO COMEDY BULLSHIT SO IF YOU SEE IT JUST. BANTER I DONT EVEN KNOW BUT IM BACK AND I FEEL LIKE THATS THE MAIN POINT TO THIS SPEECH THING.

(Lucy's POV):

It's been two years, since Lisanna came back, and since the Guild started ignoring me. They've been partying since last the day she arrived, which in my opinion is a little over the top. I couldn't understand why she was so much more important than anyone else in the Guild, I joined the Guild when I was, 16? 17? And I'm 18 already. Nobody has noticed. Actually, the only person who sang happy birthday, was my friends who hadn't ignored me. That was it. At least a hello would be nice- but that was something I could only wish for.

Everyone in the Guild is just as important as each other, we are equally loved, respected and idolised. I tried to approach Lisanna during the parties, I've always wanted to speak to her. It sounds stupid, right? Wanting to talk to the cause of me being ignored, I know. I must of seemed really desperate, well, to her anyways because I knew she knew that I was being ignored and since she did nothing about it, actually- fuck her, that's her problem if she wants to sit back and drown in attention.

I can't help it. Mother brought me up to be a kind, determined girl, who accepted all those who fought to keep good in-line.

And Lisanna.. well, she was like that. From the stories that I heard, Lisanna loved everyone, and everyone loved her back.. because of her bonds, her caring nature, her wit.. just, they loved her for her.. and her compatibility with Natsu. I realise now- I was probably jealous of her. It was obvious to me once I acknowledged the fact, since Lisanna had more people loving her than people looking at me. Not to mention her beauty, now that was one prominent feature about her; the mirrored ocean in her eyes, the snow white hair, and admirable figure. It wasn't like I hated myself, or was necessarily insecure, I just didn't flaunt it as much as you thought I would. Even though I could be vain at times, it was just a joke. And when Natsu had those weird moments where he's down to earth and that, telling me how I look fine or just holding me with a kind gaze at all, I'll admit that I added more towards those moments because of how I felt. Which leads to the further realisation of my feelings towards both Lisanna and Natsu.

I envied their relationship. I won't forget the first time I realised my feelings for Natsu. It was near around the Phantom lord situation, when I was falling from the sky, and he saved me. Slightly cliche, like the princess fell from the tower and her prince came to save her, but if you were in that moment- I was overwhelmed by emotions and I'm telling you now, Natsu is god damn attractive. Honestly, whoever thinks otherwise can fight me, they clearly haven't been given the chance to see him up close.

But then again, I also realised something else. Every time something happened, I would be the one who needed to be rescued. I always ended up hurt, out of power, without my keys, usually without my clothes, or humiliated and degraded by the enemy. I wouldn't give my all during battle, which lead me to my position now.

Ignored because I was a weak, dumb, lazy, replacement. A burden. A disgrace.. a disappointment. Nothing more than an annoying mage who yearned for attention. I was so useless. I was nothing but a useless girl, compared to everyone. With all the hate that built up inside of me, it caused the act of solitude. I dismissed myself from Team Natsu, I dismissed myself from socializing, and it came to this. Me, staring at a golden-blonde haired girl, with black eyes.

'You made into me this..' I thought, blinking, orbs returning back to Chocolate Brown.

I walked over to my Wardrobe, opening up the door. I wasn't really in the mood, and chose a yellow oversized shirt, with black yoga pants, and a pair of Black ankle-boots to be my outfit for the day. I hurried over in to my bathroom, turned on the taps of the tub, and watched the water ripple. It was almost reassuring to see that, but I settled down in the Bath as soon as it was full enough to keep my at home for some time. After that, cleaning up my mess, I then changed into my clothes, and I headed out for another depressing day at the Guild.

When I reached the Guild, everyone's eye was on me. I had no expression on my face, emotionless in other words, and I could tell some were unnerved by that as I was once very bubbly, outgoing. Key word being once. I barely had a chance to sit down before I was pounced on.

Little did I know that this would be my last time at the Guild..

"Lucy, what did you do to Lisanna?!" I felt the tip of a sword on my neck, and instantly knew who it was.

I glanced at Erza, her sharp tree brown eyes glinting with fury. "Um, what did I do to her?" I asked, confusion heard throughout my tone. I looked around, and everyone was giving me harsh glares. "Nobody is going to back me up? What did I do to Lisanna?!"

"You attacked her! WE ALL SAW THE CUTS ON HER!" She yelled, pushing me harshly against the wall.

"But.. what did I do?" I mumbled, shrinking underneath Erza's demonic glare. Suddenly Lisanna appeared behind me, shivering in "fear". "Erza.. please, you have to believe me! I didn't do anything to her! I wouldn't ever hurt nakama!"

"Lucy, that is enough! You've already hurt someone! Pathetic weakling." Erza yelled. "Please explain what happened, Lisanna."

"I-I went to Lucy's house this morning.. and I saw she was asleep, so I left a note on her desk saying that I had to leave for the Job we were going to do together, but then.. out of nowhere, she just attacked me!" Lisanna cried into Natsu's shirt, pointing an accusing finger towards me. Oh please, I darkly thought. Cut the crocodile tears you pitiful rat.

"What?! That's not even possible! I wouldn't hurt you! Fairy Tail are like the Family I've always wanted, not always wanted to hurt!" I yelled. "How can I sleep, and attack someone, at the SAME time?!"

"I don't know, Lucy! You tell me! How can you hurt Lisanna, right after she came back from Edolas?!" Erza hissed, pressing me against the wall with even more force. I choke a little bit, but refused to show such weakness in front of them. In all honesty, I was done.

".. I just told you! It's not possible, Erza!" I said. "Have you been blinded by that idiots fake, innocent act?! And why do you care, huh? You just called me a weakling? Why would a, "weakling", make an effort to fight the stronger one?"

She was silence, removing her sword from my throat. I moved to the side, and held back the tears, my breathing becoming uneven. I felt like I was going to collapse from shock.. this was a true "what the fuck" moment, but if I spoke anymore, she'd deck me. Suddenly feeling a dive in the atmosphere, for the worse, I stilled in unease.

"ROAR OF THE FIRE DRAGON!" Orange flames wrapped around my body, burning my skin, earning a shriek of pain that escaped my mouth.

He threw a few punches at me, and was able to land at least two of them against my abdomen. I spat out some blood, wiping my mouth with a curled fist. I would fight back but I knew deep down I didn't want to make anything worse, so just took it.

Tears were threatening to spill, but I struggled to not let them see me cry. After I had just so amazingly managed to silence The titania Erza, he attempts to kill me? I was right, when I first joined. There's not one sane person in Fairy Tail, truthfully..

"You weak, useless little whore. When we met back in Hargeon, I thought to myself 'Hey, she looks nice. She'd make the guild return to normal'. Yeah, I just needed you to be a replacement. And when you fucking moan 24/7 about not having rent, I just wanna slap you! Have you at ANY POINT thought about us? Probably not, because your one of them wannabe mages who deserve to rot in hell! And I swear, on Igneels life, if you hurt ANYONE within Fairy Tail... I'll show you the true meaning of pain, one worse than death!" He yelled, kicking me in the stomach.

Jeez, I've never felt so useless in my life. I've just been beaten up, by one of the most STRONGEST Dragon slayers, and nobody else done something about it? What about Master? Surely enough he would of heard my screaming.. I mean, they were sorta desperate screams. Anyone would be able to hear that. But.. still.

I'm not weak.. am I?

For someone to tell me that one word, hurts more than I expected. It's dominating, regardless of the fact that it is a simple word, and can hurt when used.

'...Weak.. Weak.. Weak..' It's one of my most loathed words. It really hits you in the heart, doesn't it?

Next thing I know, I'm crying my eyes out. My skin was probably burning, and I felt so much immense pain that built up from my stomach, and my Team Mates had just given me some serious verbal diarrhoea abuse.

"I'm weak?" I asked them, furrowing my eyebrows together. "How am I weak?! I just silenced THE titania Erza? When have you ever been able to do that, Natsu? You have no right to talk to me like a pile of shit, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"You're the weakest. It's a shock to even say that you're a Celestial Mage.." Natsu growled. "You should be ashamed!"

"IGNEEL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOU!" I roared, silencing the Fire Dragon Slayer. "IGNEEL TAUGHT YOU TO PROTECT NAKAMA, NOT TO HURT THEM! REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY HAVE DONE! I DIDN'T EVEN HURT LISANNA, WE WERE LIKE BEST FRIENDS! HAVE YOU TURNED BLIND? OR DID YOU JUST FORGET THE FACT THAT FAMILY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IGNEEL!" He roared, baring his fangs. "YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT HIM TO KNOW THAT HE THINKS THAT YOU'RE A DISGRACE!" I ended the fight, and smirked inwardly as he clamped his mouth shut, eyes widening.

The silence in the Guild was chilling, but no-one bothered to change that. I clenched my fist, shakily raising it and placing it on my heart.

"I know enough about you, Natsu, to say that you're the epitome of betrayal. I hope you suffer, and I hope one day somebody inflicts this amount of pain on you. Because I am Lucy Heartfilia, a celestial mage- we stick to our promises. And I promise, one day, I will find you. And I will make your life worse than hell."

With that, I headed towards Master office, knocking on the door. I didn't look back, but I knew for a fact, that they were watching. I quickly sneaked a glance behind me, and sent a soft smile at Gray and Juvia, who mouthed apologies.

A faint 'Come in' was said, and I opened the door.

"Ah, Lucy my dear. How are y- WHAT HAPPENED MY CHILD?!" His eyes widened at the sight of my wounds, rushing over to my side. "I'll get Wendy to heal you! Come, Lucy, sit down.. oh dear, who-" I cleared my throat, swallowing down my pain in order to announce my news.

"Master.. I want to leave Fairy Tail, to become stronger. I can't stay here any longer, knowing that these guys treated me like shit for years. Knowing that.. Natsu will beat me up, again. I need to learn to be independent, and stronger." I semi-ignored Master Makarov's question, but hinted towards the answer. "I can't bare to even breathe the same air as the people who caused me such pain. Minus you, and Mavis, of course. Even Lisanna tried to attack me, heck, I was pretty sure she tried to murder me. Erza nearly slit my throat, too. But it's okay.. Master, just remove my mark, okay?" I could see the tears shining in his Stormy-Bluey/Grey eyes.

"Well Lucy, if that is what you wish.. I can fulfil that. Just remember that you are ALWAYS welcome here, and no matter what, I'll always be here. Please be safe, wherever you may go. And Lucy, you must never reveal sensitive information about us to strangers.." That set the waterworks. He continued the Guild rules, and when he got to the last, I swear I nearly cried my heart out.

"You must promise to live life to it's fullest!" He raised his hand, showing the official Fairy Tail sign with his fingers , making me crush him in a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you so much.. it's almost funny how I'm going to miss your nagging." I cried, shakily laughing at my breakdown, "Master, please do not tell the Guild until they notice my absence.. they probably won't care, but I want to notify Levy.. and Gray, and Juvia.. just the ones who cared, Master. That's what I truly want."

"Okay Lucy. I bid you farewell, and good luck my dear. Be safe. I hope to see you soon," He flashed a cheesy grin at me, lightening my mood. "How long do you plan on being gone?"

"I don't know. I hope to return in three years to the least." I made my way out of the Office, sadness visible through my facial expression. "If not three years, then never. I need to be in a place where I can rest, and can breathe, don't I? I need to be alone."

"Lucy, are you sure about this? Once the guild finds out about this.. I can't guarantee that they'll be remorseful. And if they find you, whilst on your path to safety, I might not be able to help you. I'm deeply sorry." He called out, still standing by the doorway of his room.

"Master, of course I'm sure. If they come to fight, then so be it, I'll destroy them." I called back, grinning. "Next time, I'll be ready."

I silently my way out of Fairy Tail, not caring about the pain my body felt. Local citizens stared at me, mumbling words to each other, worry written over their Faces. I nodded at the people who kindly enough asked if I was okay, signalling that I would be fine. When really, I probably wouldn't.

Soon enough, I found myself in some weird forest, staring at my surroundings. I stopped dead in my tracks, when my Eyes swept across the fields. Something caught me eye- which made me curious, and I followed the strangely cleared path leading to it.

Right in front of me, an injured golden-blonde hair girl lay, blood spilling from her head. Immediately, I recognised who this was, and rushed to her side.

"Iroshiya?! Can you hear me?!" I yelled, checking her neck for a pulse. Luckily, there was, which reassured me greatly. As I looked back down to face her, I was slightly startled to see her eyes peering at me with a pained expression.

"L-Lucy.. fuck, L-lisanna.. why did she.. attack me?" She asked. "I thought.. we were.. relatively friends.."

"Don't strain yourself, okay.. Just go to sleep.. O-Okay?" My voice cracked at the end, tears dropping down onto her skin, mixing in with the dried blood on her forehead.

She closed her eyes instantly, more blood pouring out from her head. I tore some of my dress apart, wrapping her head with the cloth, and stemmed the bleeding. Why was fate so cruel? First she wants to hurt me, then the only true family I have left?! How in the world was this fair?!

I screamed an angered, tired, pained scream into the air. It may of seemed like a mere scream, but truly..

My eyes were turning black again, and slowly the screams turned into a roar.

"DO YOU LIKE THIS, HUH?! DO YOU LIKE SEEING YOUR EXPERIMENT SUFFER?! YOU MERCILESS COWARD! IF YOU WANT TO SEND PAIN TO ME, COME DOWN TO EARTH AND DO IT!..YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE ME INTO THIS!" My roar was filled with seething anger, hatred and sorrow. "You're the one who made.. who made me.. into this.."

Falling to the ground, I curled up beside Iroshiya, burying my head into her hair. Slowly, the sobs stopped, and I let out small whimpers. The darkness was surrounding me, and for once, I wanted it. I wanted it so badly, that reaching out to it felt damn good.