A much more introspective chapter, but this is all about how Rikako feels, so why shouldn't it be? I should warn everyone that it is definitely going to get more depressing before it gets more cheerful. So beware if you're sensitive to those things. Hopefully the next chapter won't take nearly as long but don't hold your breath.

That evening, Rikako took stock of what was going on. She didn't see Jeremy get possessed, for which she decided she ought to be grateful. She hadn't realized he'd been possessed until she'd heard some of Yumi's conversation with Ulrich (an unexpected development). She tapped her pencil on the notebook page which now had a big check next to Jeremy gets possessed and attacks Aelita and Jeremy goes to Lyoko and decides he hates it. Trying to figure out if there was anything else she needed to worry about in the meantime.

Valentine's Day was the one day that she knew for sure, but everything else was pretty up in the air. She sighed. There was still time, she thought, time until she had to worry about the Valentine attack. She didn't want to worry about it. While she did want to help, none of this was technically her business. What was her business was getting home, something she hadn't been able to focus on. Not that focusing on it had gotten her any closer to answers, she acknowledged. There was little to go off of, she was home in bed, then she wasn't. Not exactly a solid lead.

The very best she could do was delve into science and philosophy, and the fact that she knew there were several theories on multiple universes and parallel universes that probably had been proved by her presence alone. That, or she was having one very intense coma dream. She had yet to rule that out, though she wondered why she wasn't remembering what would put her into a coma. Shouldn't she remember something, if that were the case? She didn't know, but she certainly thought so.

The biggest problem was it didn't feel like a dream. Dreams skipped, dreams were fluid and nonsensical. This wasn't. This was clear and time moved as it did in her own world, from what she remembered. And she dreamed. She dreamed of home and her family and her best friend. She dreamed as she had before. Surely, that meant something.

She didn't think she wanted to know what that meant, though.

Aelita came in then, though Rikako ignored her in favor of going through her notes again. A quick look at the bits she remembered and the connections she had made could jog something else in her memory, though she wasn't sure what. Was Xana going to go around kissing everybody anytime soon? She thought so, but she wasn't sure. Soon could be very relative, she had discovered. The Lyoko Warriors weren't actually gone constantly, maybe once a week. It had surprised her at first, but then she'd realized it made sense. They'd hardly be able to avoid expulsion if they were gone constantly.

Sighing, she gave in for the night, shoving her notebook away without much thought and grabbing another notebook, which she used for history. She had a test the next day that she would barely be able to read, so she might as well get used to the dates and names if nothing else. Her struggle to learn French continued, and though she knew a lot more now, and could understand more, she still spent most of her time struggling through the language and culture. It was exhausting. She was beginning to wonder if she'd ever learn enough, or if she'd be constantly struggling. William swore she'd get it soon enough, but she wasn't so sure.

"Are you alright?" Aelita asked her, startling her out of her thoughts.

"I'm fine. Just frustrated." She scowled at her notebook, flipping open her French-English dictionary to look up a word she had forgotten to define. "I would have thought that by this time I would have finally become fluent, or close to it, in French. I mean, I'm even bilingual! It should be easy! They always say it's easier to learn languages when you are. Some of it is. It's easier to figure out word order, usually. Some of the grammar isn't so bad. But there are so many words!" She flipped through the dictionary with resignation. "I'm hearing practically a hundred new words a day, I could swear it. And half the time they don't mean what I think they mean. Sometimes it's just... a lot."

"I'm sure it won't be so bad soon. You're learning new words all the time! You're learning even when you aren't thinking about it. Soon, you'll be speaking French fluently. Perhaps, if you don't focus on trying to learn so much, it'll come more naturally? Jeremy says that stressing over these things can sometimes make them worse." Aelita said, trying to comfort her. It worked a bit.

"I hope so. Maybe I'll give it a try, though I'm not sure how well it'll work. Thanks, Aelita."

"No problem," Aelita beamed at her, despite the tiredness that lay at the edge of her eyes. Briefly, Rikako wondered if her nightmares would ever end. She dismissed the thought- Aelita's nightmares were her own problem –and closed the dictionary with a thump.

"I should probably focus this for a bit before bed. I hope you don't mind the light."

"Oh no, I have some things I can work on myself." Aelita assured her before heading over to her bed and pulling out her laptop. Using the sound of Aelita typing to lull her into focus, she soon finished studying to her satisfaction. She wouldn't ace the test, she was sure, but at least she wouldn't fail. Probably not, anyway.

Switching to her pajamas, Rikako found herself staring at her reflection. It was so odd, she thought, to see herself in the guise of this world. It wasn't what she would have called animated, not the way things were animated back home. It was different though, and her forehead, to her utter resignation, was indeed longer than before. It made her fell slightly off, like she was looking at herself through a funhouse mirror. Uncomfortable, she shut the door of the armoire, turned the desk light off quickly, and shuffled to her bed.

In the darkness Aelita's face was lit by her computer screen. Rikako didn't bother to try and see what was on it- no point, she thought, as it would either be uninteresting school work or computer programming she wouldn't understand anyway. Rikako settled into her bed while Aelita continued to type. She didn't think Aelita had even realized the light had gone off, she was so absorbed in what she was doing.

Despite her tiredness, Rikako found closing her eyes to sleep to be a futile effort. Her body simply did not wish to shut down, much to her chagrin. So instead she found herself studying Aelita. She was pretty, Rikako could easily say. Her green eyes were bright, and went well with her pink hair. Rikako thought it suited her better than blue or brown eyes might have. Her features were soft, though what was youth and what would stay was hard to determine. Her eyes were glued to the screen, her fingers moved with a natural ease, her brow slightly creased as she concentrated. She made quite a picture.

Rikako found her thoughts drifting to the genetics of this world. She had, in fact, looked them up after curiosity had gotten the better of her while looking through her science textbook. The very basics were included, and they did mention what seemed to be the rarity of unusual hair colors. The eye colors, at least, appeared to be the same. She wondered whether her own looks would have changed, if she'd actually been born in this world.

She didn't think so- her own dark hair and brown eyes seemed to be biological dominators here as well as at home, but stranger things had happened. Her best friend Cecily was a host of recessive genes. Her entire family seemed attracted only to people with equally recessive genes, and they were an almost obnoxiously blue-eyed platinum blond and red haired bunch. Yeah, genetics were weird. The red heads came out of left field and then stayed around for at least a generation. That was probably what happened with Aelita and her mother, come to think of it.

"Aelita?" Rikako tried to stir Aelita from her computer. Aelita blinked to herself, as though she'd actually been in a trance.

"Yes?" She asked after another two blinks.

"What do your parents look like?" Rikako asked. She genuinely wondered if Aelita knew. She saw them in her dreams and flashbacks, but had she made the connection?

"I-I'm not sure. I haven't seen them in a long time." Aelita said after a while. "Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking about your hair," Rikako said honestly, "I mean, it's probably... what's the word?"

"Genetic?"

"Sounds right."

"I don't think so," Aelita said, a little too quickly.

"Why not? If you don't know what your parents looked like, then how do you know what might be genetic or not? Unless, of course, you are presuming you have no genetic parents. In which case I would say unlikely. Even the most advanced of technology has yet to create a human like intelligence artificielle. Humans don't seem to be able to be programmed, not yet anyway." Rikako said as she watched the open curiosity on Aelita's face shift to thoughtfulness in the light of her computer screen.

"You really think so?" Aelita asked.

"Yeah, I do." Rikako said. They were both silent for a few more moments, Aelita looking at her screen but not really seeing it, Rikako shifting to look up at the ceiling. She had said too much, and she knew it. Rikako didn't care. Aelita, at least, was still too innocent to completely understand what she was saying. She would probably bring it up, at some point, but she rather thought Aelita would need to chew on it for a while anyway.

"What about your parents?" Aelita asked. Rikako turned her head to look at Aelita for a moment before looking back at the ceiling.

"I look like my dad," she said after a moment. "My older brother does too. My little brother looks like our mom though. We've all got the dark hair and eyes."

"You have siblings?" Aelita asked.

"Yeah," Rikako felt tears build up as she thought of her family. "Two of the brothers. They drove me crazy but I loved them. I love them so much. I haven't seen them since I came here. I don't even know if they're okay. I don't know." Her voice broke but she didn't cry. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"O-okay," Aelita said hesitantly, "Good night."

Rikako rolled to her side so she was facing away from Aelita. She heard Aelita begin to type again and let herself drift off to the sound, her body finally allowing her eyes to stay closed.

She dreamed of home that night. Of times spent at the dinner table and arguing over the TV remote. Of tutoring from her big brother and giggling with her friend. She dreamed that losing them was in itself a dream, and settled in. When she woke up, she let the tears fall this time.