written by
Phoenix Fyre
Dsclmr: Aragorn, Legolas and all other characters in LOTR do not belong to me. I make no profit from this.
NOTES: Upon reading this you may ask "Why are Legolas and Aragorn in Rivendell?". The answer is simple: So I can use Arwen and Elrond in this story. I know, it's a really stupid reason but it's the only one I've got, I'm afraid.
"Be still, Aragorn!" Arwen coaxed, trying to brush Aragorn's matted
hair.
"His hair is so dirty!" Legolas said, gesturing at Aragorn's
hair and tutting knowingly.
Aragorn fidgeted. "You are hurting me, Arwen. Please stop. I
like my hair as it is."
"I do not," Arwen said firmly.
"Just let her do it, Aragorn," Elrond said in a weary voice.
He was sitting behind Aragorn, Arwen and Legolas, watching the scene.
Legolas smiled at Elrond. "Yes, Aragorn. He is right. Have you
the conditioner, Arwen? Or maybe you could wash his hair then comb it."
"No!" Aragorn protested.
"Brush it like you would an Angora rabbit," Elrond advised.
"Brush a little part first then choose a different part and start again."
"Father has two Angora rabbits," Arwen told Aragorn and Legolas.
"Called Lomilmandel and Celebhithien."
Legolas coughed quickly. "I will start applying foundation,
Arwen."
"Do that," Arwen said grimly. "His hair may take a while."
Aragorn clenched a fist. "When will this end? And - AAH! Legolas,
what are you doing?!" He flinched.
"Applying foundation," Legolas answered, dabbing Aragorn's forehead
gingerly. "Oh, Aragorn, your skin is very greasy. You have to exfoliate
and moisturise every night!"
"No, that's just you," Aragorn replied, looking irritated.
Arwen let out a squeal of triumph. "I have got half the tangles
in your hair out! Aragorn, see how shiny it is?"
"Not as shiny as Legolas's," Elrond pointed out drily.
Arwen sighed. "Is anyone's?"
"What colour eyeshadow should we use?" Legolas asked Arwen over
Aragorn's head. "I like this beige colour myself but I do not think it
will suit him. Maybe this blue colour. Or the pink …"
"Not pink," Aragorn insisted. "Not pink."
"What about green?" Elrond suggested.
Arwen took a close look at Aragorn's eyes. "You really do not
know anything about make-up, Father. He is definetly an Autumn. Brown.
Maybe a slight shimmer of gold. See,
we use this chocalate colour on his eyelids, and brush this lighter brown
on his brow bone."
"What?" Elrond and Aragorn asked in unison.
Legolas shushed them. "That's pure genius, Arwen. Genius! Yes,
we will do that."
Arwen continued brushing Aragorn's hair. She then looked up.
"What about lipstick?"
"LIPSTICK?!" Aragorn yelled, looking petrified. "No, Arwen,
no. You cannot do this to me!"
Legolas sighed. "Be quiet, Aragorn, please. It will look nice."
"I think he will suit this shade," Arwen said, producing a lipstick.
"It is called Autumn Red. But perhaps Rose Pink. Or what about Japanese
Petal?"
"Hmm …" Legolas considered it. "Rose Pink. It'll contrast with
the eyeshadow."
Elrond was looking bewildered. "They all look the same to me."
"They're not," Arwen told him, applying the Rose Pink lipstick.
Legolas and Arwen looked at the finished result and grinned
at eachother. Legolas then produced a mirror with a flourish.
"Aragorn - what do you think?"
Aragorn looked at himself - and screamed.