Many thanks to my husband and GinnyGinervaWeasley for beta reading my story!

After thirty minutes of trying to tame my hair, I finally give up and pull it up into a ponytail. I sigh. Today it is time to accept my fate. The company I have been working with for a few years now, has been purchased by a tycoon from Seattle and is now being reviewed by his staff. Gossip has it that today they will introduce him to the employees, followed by him subsequently firing several people and I'm afraid, I will be one of them. Shit! I hope not. I really, really need this job. I have bills to pay and want to refund my loan and get out of debt. But what I'm actually afraid of is that no other company will give me a job.

I apply little make up and examine myself in the mirror. Normally I'm wearing jeans, chucks and a t-shirt, which is what I'm comfortable with, but today I'm dressed up in my navy-blue jacket, my one and only skirt, my sensible brown knee-length boots and a blue sweater. Kate would not approve of this outfit, but it's the best I can muster out of my closet right now.

So here I am. Anastasia Rose Steele, widow and mother of two, trying everyday to survive without my husband, and it sucks. It's been six months since Brad's death, but every day since I have cried my eyes out.

Brad and I knew each other since childhood. He was several months older than me and lived down the road. We often played together and he protected me from the older children. Later, he accompanied me to school, because there was this creepy house along the way. We went hand in hand everyday and became as thick as thieves. But it was not until high school that we finally got together. He gave me my first kiss and became my first boyfriend. We had a little too much fun together though, because when I was 18, I got pregnant with Tommy. Brad proposed to me and we got married. It was a tough time, because we both went to college and had to care for our child while getting an education. But being together and with the help of his father, we managed it. Three years later, Andy was on his way. Another three years later, Brad died in a car accident. An overtired long-distant truck driver was dosing off, overlooked a stop sign and collided with Brad's car. He was rushed to the hospital and fought for survival, but died two days later. My world stopped that day and life as I knew it was over.

At night, when my boys are already asleep, I feel the loneliest. I miss him so much. I not only miss his love, but also him as a father for my boys. Life as a single mother is harder than I ever could have imagined.

We have no further family. The only family alive are my mother and my father-in-law, who are both living across the country. My mother lives with her fourth husband in Savannah and barely manages her own life. All I get from her are some dollars here and there and a yearly visit. Ray, my father-in-law, tries to help me where he can. He still lives in Montesano, but once a month he flies in and does some manly business with the boys. He takes them fishing and camping, teaches them how to ride a bike or to patch up their knees afterwards.

There are no friends nearby either. Most of our friends live in Washington. After college we had to move across the country for Brad's job and leave them behind. And the few 'friends' we had here were all gone after Brad's death, because I didn't have the time and energy for socializing anymore.

There is no money as well. Besides the running costs, which are pretty high, there are also our student loans and the mortgage. Brad had a good job with a good income, so my pay was just pocket money. But now it is way too little. We're living on the edge.

I snap out of my thoughts and curse under my breath – I really should get going, because Mr. Moneybags sure doesn't want to wait.

I wake my grumpy dwarfs and hurry to get them ready for the day. Tommy and Andy aren't exactly morning people, so it is always a merciless power game of which I fear I lose it regularly. Every day I talk until they are blue in the face and hope that they do most of what I say. That wasn't always the case, but since I'm alone I'm a bit overtaxed, I think. I don't have the energy to bring them up reasonable. So I try to survive with the bare essentials. I shoo them all the way round. It's totally stressful to think of everything and motivate the children to cooperate. But in the end, I succeed and we are able to leave the house.

We go to my car, an old blue VW Beetle I have named Wanda, and I pray that it will start without any troubles. Heaven forbid if I am late today. It does start and I hope it's a good sign for a lucky day, because I really need it. After I drop off the kids, I drive to my office and park in the garage. I take the elevator and leave it on the second floor. After I place my purse on my desk, I go straight to the kitchen. The first thing I need today is a cup of tea to calm my nerves. Claire, the receptionist, joins me in the kitchen.

"Nervous?" she asks me compassionately. She is one of my few friends here, who knows my problems.

"Sure. I hope for the best. But we'll see", I say looking worried and fidgeting with my hands.

"Yeah. Time will tell if we still have a job tomorrow. How are your kids? They were ill, weren't they?" she asks friendly, trying to change the subject.

"Yes. Tommy had the flu and Andy had a fever. But now both are healthy again", I say with a little smile on my face. Oh how I love my kids, even when they give me a hard time. I couldn't live without them.

"Great. I admire you for your strength. That sure wasn't easy, you know, two little, sick children", she says appreciatively.

"Thank you, Claire." I smile at her and leave the kitchen with a cup of tea on a saucer, which is rattling because of my shaking hands.

As I reach my desk, I wonder how my cup of tea is still in one piece. Usually I have the word clumsy written all over my face. I take a deep breath. Go, Annie! You can do it! So I begin with my work. After a few hours my telephone rings and Claire tells me that I should go to the conference room to meet the new management. I am scared and my stomach tightens, because I don't know what to expect. I rise, smooth out my skirt and walk over to the conference room. I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet and fall headfirst into the conference room. Great, just great. Good first impression, they sure want staff like that, not even able to walk into a room. Gentle hands are around me, helping me stand up.

"Mrs. Steele." A long-fingered hand is offered to me. "I am Christian Grey, the new owner of this company. Please have a seat." Fuck, the boss's boss's boss himself. I take his hand and I don't know what is happening, but my hand vibrates, like a current runs through it. I shake it off as nervousness and sit down, looking at Mr. Ferguson, my direct boss, who sits next to Mr. Grey. I try to read his facial expression, but he does not give anything away. My hands fidget in my lap and I bite my bottom lip.

"Mrs. Steele, as you know my team made a report about this company and it seems that you had plenty of days off in the last six months", he begins with this certain CEO demeanor. Cold, impersonal and it's all about the figures.

"Yeah. I'm a single mother and my kids are ill every now and then", I explain, but I have the feeling, he isn't interested in the reason.

"Mr. Grey, she does her best and she is a loyal, conscientious employee." Mr. Ferguson interrupts trying to defend me. 'Yeah, this one time please do something for me. I work my ass off for you since I am here, you lazy jackass', I think to myself.

"Sorry to hear that, Mrs. Steele, but that's not my problem. I have a business to run and therefore, we must make some adjustments. This includes signing you off." Mr. Grey continues without looking up from his papers.

Fuck, fuck, fucking fuckity shittyfuck. I know it's just not my lucky year. I feel all my strength leaving my body and I melt into tears. I thought, I was prepared for this eventuality, but now it hits me with all its force.

"Mrs. Steele, please don't start with the waterworks, let us handle this as professionally as possible", this priggish asshole says looking up at me with a mixture of boredom and fake sympathy. That's the straw that breakes the camel's back.

"Well, Mr. Grey, I am very sorry to ruin your day, but you just ruined my life. If that is the end of it, I'll go and pack my things." I do not wait for an answer but stand up, looking at my feet, turning around and going straight for the door while wiping my tears away. As I pull it open, a hand slams it in my face unexpectedly. I flinch and sway a little to the side. I just want to go, I'm fired for fuck's sake!

"Mrs. Steele, I am the one, who dismisses everybody", Mr. Grey shouts with a threatening voice, even though he is right behind me. I freeze and have trouble breathing properly, because he scares the shit out of me. Tears are now running freely down my face.

"Turn around!" he yells and I flinch again. I take the remaining strength left in my body and turn around. His face is just a few inches away. I can feel his breath on my face. Jeez, he sure is intimidating.

"I want the key for the office. As per my report, you have one" he says demanding. I rummage in my pockets and give it to him with shaking hands. What was he thinking? I would have left the key at the reception. I'm a responsible employee.

"Well then! You may withdraw. Have a nice life, Mrs. Steele!" he says in an insulting way and goes back to his chair. Oh my god, what was that? Such a douche bag. He could have said that in a friendlier way. I turn around and run to the next bathroom to throw up. Afterwards, I splash some water in my face and look at my image in the mirror. I need to get out of here. Making my way to my desk, the tears are still flowing uncontrollably and I wipe them over and over again, but they don't stop. As I pack my things, a couple of colleagues are standing around me with pity in their eyes. "The show is over!" I mutter, grab my box and go to the elevator. In the garage, I go to my car.

As I sit behind the steering wheel, I break down again and cry even harder. I am so fed up with all the shit that is going on in my life recently, I'm not sure I can take any more nonsense. And there is no end in sight, because without a job, I cannot pay the bills. So I have to move. Ray has told me that there is an abandoned house in his neighborhood, which I could buy at a cheap rate and he could renovate it. So Washington, here I come. At least there are some old friends like Kate, Ethan and José around. I guess life is like sex. You can either lie back and let it screw you or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it. I truly hope there is enough energy for me to do the latter.

After my little breakdown I want to start the engine. As I look up I see Mr. Grey walking to a black SUV, where a man in a black suit waits. There is a blonde goddess on his arm. She seems to be a little older than him, but she sure looks mighty fine. If the two were to have children, they would be supermodels. Two perfect people, Mr. Grey sure has a good taste. The blonde looks at her hand where a big diamond flashes on her ring finger. Seems the ring there is new. I know this, because after Brad gave me mine, I also couldn't stop looking at the ring, which I guess is normal at the beginning. They climb in the car and I snap out of my memory. Great. Now the memory of my husband overwhelms me again and I choke up. What a fucking day. All I want now is a bathtub full of hot water. Who knows, if I will have a big bathtub in the future.