Chapter 29 Forgiveness

Throughout their long conversation Sarah had remained seated on his bed, her mostly exposed body only partially covered by the comforter she had wrapped around her. Jareth watched her expression closely while she processed his last statement, looking for some indication of what she was feeling. After nearly two minutes of stillness and silence she threw the covers back, got up and reached for a shirt. Jareth's heart sank as he watched, convinced she was going to storm out and leave him alone again. But then he noticed the shirt she had picked up was his own- a frill collared, long sleeved thing which he was partially pleased, partially annoyed to see looked better on her than it did on him. The fact that she would wear his clothes, and that she was apparently not going anywhere just yet, gave him hope.

She paced around for another moment and, with her back facing him, asked "So you've watched my family for all these centuries?"

"Yes," he said and nodded in confirmation even though he knew she couldn't see him. He felt the need to move and release some tension, but he didn't want her to feel like he was crowding her in the room so he remained still and let her continue to pace this time.

"Have you… spoken to any of my other family members? My ancestors, I mean."

"No."

"So I'm the first one you… been in love with?" she asked haltingly.

At that Jareth did stand up. When she had turned again in her nervous rambling around the room he stepped in her path and made her pause. Jareth gently took hold of her arms and looked into her eyes. He felt his heart contract when he saw the confusion and concern there.

"You're the only woman I've ever truly been in love with Sarah. Ever." He wanted to kiss her again, to convince her with his lips and body that he was telling the truth. But he knew how much he had wronged her and that she would most likely not welcome his advances. He was to be surprised again.

"So if you hadn't banished the queen to my world, my family line wouldn't exist and I would never have been born," she said in an almost matter of fact time.

Jareth was well aware of this fact, it had circled his mind endlessly for decades, but he pretended to consider it for a moment while she continued to collect her thoughts. "True," he said after a moment.

"So I guess I would be pretty stupid to resent what happened," she continued. "I don't like what you did, but I can't be unhappy about it without saying I'm unhappy to be alive right now. And it seems to me that you regret what you did."

"So much," he replied quietly. The pain of his past was constantly with him. The dual burdens of having wronged the queen and having robbed the goblins of their powers had been his constant companions and the primary reasons he had become bitter and, occasionally cruel.

"It's not my place to forgive you for your past," Sarah said and Jareth felt his heart sink. "Only you can do that."

He nodded and let go of her arms, but instead of moving away she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"It's my place to love you, and to make sure you do better from now on."

He wasn't quite sure he'd heard her correctly, but she was embracing him and her face was buried in his neck beneath the raised collar of his robe. Jareth wrapped his arms around her automatically and stood for a moment while he processed her words- not quite sure he believed her.

"Do you really mean it? You can say you love me after everything I've told you?"

"I do love you Jareth. I have since I was a teenager and I always will.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sometime later, after many minutes of holding each other, crying, laughing in relief and kissing, they had to step apart again. Jareth's entire body protested letting her go. He wanted to make love to Sarah then and there, but knew he would lose all control of himself and the magic he was currently working so hard to control.

The strain of slowing time to a crawl was significantly greater than he'd told Sarah and he was determined to keep things as easy as possible for her. Having to explain her absence to her family would be difficult if she was gone for more than a few hours in her time. So instead of acting upon his urges he held her away from him and smiled. His heart felt lighter than it had in several hundred years.

By now it was late afternoon, but there would still be several hours of sunlight left. He had a mental debate for a moment before planting one last kiss on Sarah's lips and then gently pushing her towards the door.

"Get dressed," he instructed. "I think it would be best if we leave today yet."

"Leave for where? You're not sending me home already, are you?"

"No, not yet," he replied. The hint of worry in her voice was enough to make his smile widen to a grin. "We're leaving for the castle."