Okay this started out as a drabble I'd written for my bestie, but I began to flesh it out a bit, and mess with the story, trying to give it a very creepy feel and to dive into ways that things can go wrong. Mostly I wanted to explore how the Tardis' connection and losing it could mess with the two. So I deleted the original and made this the new one. I changed it into a Tentoo as Brendan Block and Rose Tyler, written from Brendan's POV.

This is unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine and mine alone. I'm not sure if I'm sorry for how messed up this story is. Sex is mentioned quite a few times, but not in great detail.

Brendan frowned as he was fiddling with his mobile, waiting for his lovely girlfriend to call. Brendan knew that he was a charmer. He wasn't fancy and ginger like some people, he was just... sort of... brown. But for some reason, women seemed to be very into his style. His Scottish accent helped a lot, but something about his accent felt false, felt new.

She hadn't called or texted yet. This was distressing… he didn't like being distressed. He liked being in control.

Now, he was no longer in control.

His ex, Shauna… she had been a mistake. He had seen it so clearly toward the end. He'd thought she would be the one, but she had disappointed him. They all disappointed him in the end. He always ended up with these strange women that had seemed so interesting and then he ended up haunted by dreams of cold Norwegian beaches and the promise of a sweet blonde love that was too perfect to exist. The women never measured up to a pink and yellow flit of time that made his blood rush and his soul quiver. All he wanted was a woman who was like him… a woman who was as fucking committed as he was. Who wanted adventure at any cost. He wanted a woman who would love him through mud and blood, who would understand him. Who would never make him angry unless she was in the mood for a rough shag. A woman who understood his need to control everything.

Every time he thought he found that… the women never understood. His dreams began to take the place of reality while the voice of an annoying ginger woman scolded him for yet again breaking some innocent human girl. Now… now the worst.

He was in a relationship with a beautiful woman… the most beautiful woman he had ever touched. She was beautiful in many other ways too, but she didn't need him. He needed her to need him, to want him. She was a glorious mix of the pink and yellow and he could see her with him on the beach, in his dreams, he could feel the time with her. Each kiss tasted like stardust and a look in her eyes made him think of a wolf on the prowl. She'd been speaking on the phone to her mother a week ago, and she hadn't thought he'd been listening, but he had. For some reason, he'd been gifted with heightened senses.

Predator. Yes, that was why.

Gallifreyan. The fuck was that? He needed to stop falling asleep in front of Nat Geo on telly.

"No, mum. no it's all fine. I know… I'm not concerned. Shauna is a bit of a bint. Hmm? No no no… no, Brendan says she just has trouble letting go of her original ideas, that's all… she's been trying to ring me a few times, trying to tell me something supposedly important. I know. …No, I haven't told him… because it isn't important. It's not that important. Mum, s'jus pills. I don't care, I'm not takin em anymore. 's only been a handful of days mum. You have not noticed anythin'! Haven't! Well, Dr. Morris can shove off, s'my body, and I made a choice. Mhm. 'm fine, mum. I can maintain…"

Her voice had drifted off from the bathroom. It'd made him angry.

Fucking Shauna. She was trying to ruin his chances with Rose!

She had so much potential! He'd read Rose's journal… she was so perfect… but for some reason, he couldn't find her journal anymore. It had given him the perfect ways to respond to her, giving him ways to know her. Growing up in the Estates, discussing an old job, Henrick's... he knew the place. For some reason he really wanted to fuck her in the lift of that place until their bodies couldn't take it anymore. He kept reading little pieces of coding she'd added... so secretive. He couldn't figure out the Rx signs... definitely discussing a person. A person with a box. Or perhaps in a box. Perhaps they were dead.

His mind flashed back to the cold beach, and he could hear the grinding noise, people were leaving... two important people. Suddenly, he'd collapsed to the sand, screaming. Rose was by his side, looking down at him with so much pity. She'd whispered in his ear that it hurt, being separated permanently from the Tardis. She'd whispered that it broke your mind.

He snapped out of it as he added coffee grounds to the filter, poured water in, and clicked the machine on. He often got flashes like that, but he could ignore them and just continue on. Shauna, she was the problem. Even if he couldn't remember dating her, he knew she'd fucked up.

He'd spoken to Rose after she finally came out to the kitchen, bringing up little things like the weather for that week, how Manchester United was doing, and how much he hated his boss. He'd laughed with her over some project she was on, and had not even visibly flinched when she brought up her old friend Mickey... or was his name Rickey? No no, Mickey... no it was Rickey's anniversary of his death. Who the hell was Mickey? Like Mickey Mouse? He ignored the question, deciding to keep it chipper, drinking his coffee, the usual morning casual. Rose didn't like feeling cornered.

He understood that.

"Rose, love… I was coming down the hall to check on you, and couldn't help overhearing you talking to your mum," he murmured, carefully.

She looked panicked, for a moment. His interest was piqued, now. He would have to tread lightly.

"What… what did you hear?" She asked, nervously.

What the hell was she so frightened of him knowing? He walked past the old fob watch on the counter without seeing it. It was useless and broken anyhow.

"Is Shauna harassing you, love…?"

The relief on her face was enough to make him keep the pills question on the backburner. Her journal had never mentioned medication. The Rx symbol had never been near any mention of pills, aside from her writing down that she'd dreamt of BWB again and needed paracetamol. She'd told him that his ex had been calling her, claiming she was trying to warn her of something. He'd become angry for a moment, until he noticed the way Rose was treating it. She was so flippant about it, rolling her eyes and calling Shauna barmy.

No need to physically intimidate her, not his Rose. She was special. She gave no credibility to Shauna, without even having met her. Without even having heard… and undoubtedly, knowing the redhead, she had actual, physical proof of his past.

He would have to silence her.

He loved Rose. Their night of passion had just been proof… it was their bodies expressing love before their minds knew.

She was the one, she had to be.

Shauna's phone calls had become more consistent, to the point where Brendan had come to see her in person and yelled at her, telling her to leave him and Rose be. To stay out of his business. He'd grabbed her by the wrists and shook her like a rag doll, snarling down at her. For some reason, he'd been able to replace her with some other ginger woman who was always in his dreams, in the back of his mind.

He shook her with a greater fury, ending up shouting, 'You made me! You created me and you left me here half fucked!' before he'd snapped back to reality. She'd shouted at him that she wasn't his ex, she'd never dated him before. She'd called herself a scientist, said she was helping him hide from some family, but stated that the loss of the Tardis connection had harmed their brain chemistry, both of them. Christ, she was more of a nutter than even he was. He grabbed a knife and stabbed it deep into Shauna's kitchen table, looking at her. The message was clear.

He'd hoped she'd gotten the hint.

As he left her apartment in a fury, he could see another flash of himself explaining to Rose that their minds had been severely affected by the separation from the Tardis - something he knew she'd known. He apologized to her, dressed like some idiot in a blue suit and a pair of converse. He begged her forgiveness, then told her that while she could receive treatment to keep her from becoming a monster... he couldn't, he wasn't human enough. He feared himself and her becoming like Koschei, which they would. He'd have to deal with things. The plans for the Chameleon Circuit became his only priority. He had to protect himself, and Rose.

Before he snapped back to reality, he could see himself telling his colleague Shauna that if anything happened, to just tell them that they were on the run from a family of assassins who would zap his power and destroy the universe. He'd never suspected that the chameleon circuit would turn him into a crazier human being who would outright refuse medication.

When he'd seen Rose speaking to herself before leaving on a date with him a couple of days later, he'd become more concerned.

"Maintain… just maintain… c'mon Rose… just maintain…"

He'd frowned. Maintain… perhaps it was paranoia, but her phone call with her mother made him wonder if he hadn't misunderstood…. perhaps she was still speaking with Shauna… she'd better not be planning anything like leaving him… he couldn't allow that…

"C'mon… we just have to get through each day… just a few more months... we don't really want to do this. Maintain. Maintain." She tapped her nails in an infernal drumbeat.

Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap.

He was getting angrier by the minute. She was planning on leaving him!

"We don't need our meds… we're fine. Maintain. It's not our fault... being separated from the box... it just... it made us..."

Meds? Box? What was that fucking rhythm she was tapping?!

He'd stopped cold at that. He needed to improvise and reassess. She needed to tell him everything. She was the love of his life, there was no need for secrets when she'd already willingly died for him... wait. What?

They'd gone on a lovely date, and he'd felt her in his arms that night while dancing, after drinking red wine and eating fine food. All night, while living in the moment… those two words made him feel broken for a few minutes, mind filled with the screams of children and his own voice... only with an accent similar to Rose's, saying I was the only one who could end it. Fuck. She needed to stop tapping that rhythm, it was going to drive him spare.

Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap.

Either way, he'd still kept it in the back of his mind. Her meds. Her meds. Something… there was something to it. There was something with her. She had something she wanted to tell him, but she kept stopping. Nothing should ever come between them. Nothing. It made him … distressed.

He'd sacked the entire flat — gone through everything. Even destroyed a few things. He couldn't find anything. Not her journal, not a pill bottle — save for the empty bottle of Paracetamol in the bottom of the trash can. He walked past the fob watch on the counter again, not even seeing the broken thing. He was so fucking confused, and he knew she knew it. He knew she wanted him to know, but she wouldn't tell him. Separation from the box? What fucking box?! How could she fucking hide from him when he loved her?! She'd gone to great lengths to hide things from him.

After a few days, they'd gone out on a walk along the Thames. She'd not said a thing about the fact that he'd left her apartment sacked, wanting her to know how angry he was with her for hiding things from him. He'd sat in a car outside of her apartment, watching her comings and goings, even going so far as to text her pictures during the night. She hadn't reacted poorly at all, in fact she'd done the opposite. Her hair was braided and lovely, she truly looked beautiful. He couldn't wait to take her back home and take her, if only she'd let him. She hadn't seemed angry about the images he'd sent or how 'crazy' his exes would have called him for his behavior. Sure, his exes names all blurred in his mind and he couldn't remember dating any of them, but that was besides the point. She hadn't responded right!

But for now, he'd had to ask her in the kindest, gentlest way possible about her secrecy. He couldn't corner her. She would shut down and he'd never get it out of her.

"Love… I might've told a bit of a fib when I said I'd only heard the part about Shauna… I heard something about medicine…"

Rose had sighed, looking resigned. "I figured as much."

"What is it…? Why won't you tell me?" he pleaded with her, trying to guilt her into answering.

She'd looked down, biting her thumb. Running her fingers through her hair, she began to mess it up, getting the braid all tangled. She sucked in a shuddering breath and started crying, out of the blue. As she cried, her makeup smeared. Her foot tapped on the ground, that infernal rhythm.

Tap tap tap tap.

"Rose," he whispered, making her jerk up and look at him, eyes wild.

Brendan was concerned. This was not Rose. This was so against her. She always held things together. She was so strong... he only took the very best, after all. That was Rose. She looked so fucking sexy while she was crying. Her bottom lip had a soft pout to it, a fullness that made her so fun to kiss. He'd already came in that mouth.

"Shauna… fucking Shauna," she sobbed. "Fucking…Doctor. Fucking Bay, fucking Norway, fuck all of it... fuck... life. You're going to leave me…" Somehow, she was able to choke out the words.

He reached to embrace her and she pulled away from him, rubbing angrily at her eyes while hissing the word maintain.

"Love, I really need to know what's going on…"

"I take medication… or I did…" she began, looking down. "For a mite of a depressive thing… The Doctor, he didn't say I could really say... I didn't... I lost connection with something important, and I didn't realize how much it would... hurt."

This was an oversimplification at best. An outright lie at worst. But he'd known not to push. He had a beginning point to find out more.

"Love, I'd never invade your privacy, but I'm just concerned. You seem to be having a rough time of it. Why've you gone off your meds, love?" His words were so ironic, coming days after sacking her flat and stalking her.

She'd looked down, trying to figure out how to explain herself.

"My medicine I was on… s'not good for me righ' now."

He'd pushed a bit, but she'd shut down, so he'd pulled back. He just needed to know.

"Sorry love, I was just concerned… but we can forget about it for now, hmm? Don't you worry about Shauna. I'd die before I let anything get between us."

She'd burst into laughter at that, but her laughter had been strange. Her key she wore around her neck glinted in the light, and she continued laughing. His hand brushed the key as he reached up her body and touched her cheek, and for a moment, he heard the grinding of engines and the thrill of adventure singing in his veins. However, it was gone as soon as it had come, and his words had seemed to have done the trick. She had spent the rest of her time looking up at him adoringly, even more so than she'd done the days before. He'd reassured her. When they'd made it home, she'd pounced on him and given herself to him against the wall.

Depressive…thing. Lost a connection with something. He knew what that was like. There were a million, millions upon millions of empty spaces in his head that he didn't know how to fill. Sometimes at night, he could hear the screams of every space emptying.

Later on that night, Rose had been chatting with him, laughing. He loved seeing her so happy to simply be with him, but he'd kept it in his mind. She was a mystery to him now, something outside of his control. That only seemed to make him more amorous, dying for her to give him more of her body as though he'd been starved for physical connection of that sort for centuries. He'd decided to add some kink to their love play that night, telling her that if she was depressed, she'd be his patient, and he would be her doctor. Hearing her cry out 'Doctor!' as she came gave him a feeling of satisfaction he'd never before experienced, and made him cum harder than he could remember. Afterward, she seemed satisfied, but a bit nervous. His control was gone.

Distressing.

While they were cooking dinner, an alfredo that went perfect with the organic chicken she'd picked up. As she was smiling, talking to him about the open air market she'd gone to today, and all of the really good organic honey she'd bought, she also discussed the merits of omega threes and how she needed to be careful with certain foods. She was building up to something he couldn't put his finger on, but watching her hair move distracted him enough to make her voice turn into background noise. He offered her a glass of Pinot, pouring it and giving her his most suave smile. It hadn't worked, she just looked up while humming a bit and shook her head at his offer. She'd shook her head their last date as well.

That'd been odd. Rose loved wine. There was no reason he could think of that she'd ever say no to it. They'd talked about going on a Chianti wine tour in Italy, and when he'd called out 'molto bene!' she'd seemed happy, but sad. When he'd prompted her, she'd finally told him, while drumming her nails in that annoying beat, nervously.

She was pregnant.

She had to be the one now. Had to. She looked so thrilled to be carrying his child, she was always up for any form of affection from him… she never did anything to make him want to scare her or harm her… she seemed like she almost understood his need for them to be together forever. Her carrying his child felt like it was carrying on of something legendary, like it was something so huge, so incredible. He would be so good to her, so fucking careful with their baby. So careful with her heart.

But he would always have a dark side. Having to hide it from her would be the worst. Because it felt like she understood all of him except for that part. That dark part, the need to hurt, to maim, to destroy… he could never hope to share that with anyone. Because he was victorious and everyone needed to realize that he didn't have to follow their fucking rules. Rose understood him more than anyone ever had. It was like looking into a mirror, they were so alike. Yet… having to hide that part of him from her made her like the others, in a key way. She'd eventually try to leave him. He rubbed his hair with the towel, looking into the mirror after his shower.

She'd think she was doing the right thing, she'd call him a psycho, she would. She might take his child away.

He couldn't permit that.

He heard the ringing of the house phone, and her machine automatically clicked on after the third ring.

'Hey Rose, it's Shauna. Are we still on to meet at the pier? Because you're not here, and it's been a half-hour… I'm going to head back to my flat. If you still want to meet me, you can give me a ring, and come on over. We really need to talk about Brendan… It's your safety I'm concerned about…'

He growled, actively growled, and began to get ready. He was going to Shauna's right now. She wasn't going to ruin his chances of his child… and Rose. Sweet Rose… the way she'd looked down at him with eyes so filled with a desperate love for him. She was so scared of him leaving, wasn't she? He had to protect her from her fear.

He'd made it to Shauna's and picked the lock with ease. Her building's halls proved it to be a place where no one would give a shit if anything happened. There'd be no witnesses, nothing would be missed. He was no longer an untried boy, he knew how to dispose of a body now. He felt momentary disgust at the thought of snuffing a life without needing to, an ancient, centuries old feeling in the back of his skull as though he were in the wrong... but no. She was not going to destroy them.

Upon seeing her place, it looked like there'd been a bit of a struggle. He shut the door and locked it, walking through the flat. This was curious… the table was upended, there were marks in the wall, and it looked like a fist had gone through her closet door. There was another, bigger hole in a wall, covered in blood. Someone's head had been slammed through the wall. The music in her house was so loud, no one would have heard a thing, to be honest. He recognized the work of someone working someone else over, but for some reason couldn't believe in it. The pump of the bass reminded him of his girlfriend's nail drumming, and it made his eyes cross.

He shut Shauna's bedroom door, muting the sound of the bass and music from the living room. Her adjoining bathroom was shut tight, but he could hear soft crying coming from it. Bitch. She must be licking her wounds from whoever had had a problem with her. Something about the entire scene sent a mauve alarm into his mind though. He felt like he knew that something else was going on. But what was he going to do, go back in the box? Hah!

Wait, what?

He scowled and knocked on the door.

"Shauna! Open the door!" he'd snarled, trying to pick the lock.

Nothing.

"Shauna! I'm not fucking kidding. Unlock the bluidy door. Make it easier on yourself. You've gotten into my business for the last time."

Still the sound of someone crying, softly. It sounded… odd. He'd made Shauna cry plenty of times, but she cried differently. He finally jammed the lock, and threw open the door, nearly tripping over a dead body. Blood was smeared all over, she looked like she'd been stabbed over and over again, part of her skull crushed in from the wall in the hallway. Her red hair was matted with sweat of a good fight for her life, and the blood. Whoever she'd fought had been stronger, more desperate, possibly trained. Torchwood training. What? What was that?

Shauna.

He blinked at the realization that the woman he'd come to murder had already been murdered. Just… what?!

The crying hadn't subsided. He looked up, seeing a woman in a nude bra and knickers in the bathtub, the water a shade of pink. He knew her hair, the curve of her neck, and the look in her eyes. Most of all, he knew that beat she was drumming with her nails on the side of the bathtub porcelain. It couldn't be…

The way she'd deflected his questions about why she'd taken medicine…

The way she'd spoken about the doctor who prescribed it…

The word Doctor…

The doctor had obviously never wanted her to get pregnant because she needed to stay on her meds at all times… medication that one would need to stop during pregnancy…

A word she'd used a few times in her journal came to his mind. Of course! It'd been a slang term for her anti-psychotics. She took medication to keep her from… from being like him… they were both so wretched and broken and she seemed to know why, but he hadn't a clue... no matter. Not really. What mattered was her. She'd committed to him...

"Well…" he murmured, smirking softly down at her. "What have we here…?"

She looked up at him, and murmured "She was going to make you leave me…" in a sorrowful tone. "After Bad Wolf Bay... you can't leave me again..."

"Nothing could cause that… it's going to be you and I, Rose love… forever. No one can come between us… we're soulmates, Love. I just never realized how much until now." he'd figure out what the hell Bad Wolf Bay was later.

The smile she'd given him had made it worth it.

Disposing of Shauna's body had been easy enough. Her body would never be discovered, she'd just disappeared. He'd cleaned up the scene so well, the mark of a true professional; someone who had taken time and care to learn to clean up a nasty habit. He'd taught Rose how when he'd done it. Finally… someone to share it with. She looked at him like he knew everything. When he'd prompted her for details of the confrontation, she'd told him while they were cuddling. After her explanation, he'd made love to her sweetly, meaning every kiss and caress, every soft word. With enough rumors going around her flat building, the DIs just accepted that Shauna had likely gone to Australia as she'd always wanted, after so many dead ends.

Returning to their flat, he'd gotten Rose back into the bathtub, taking gentle care to wash her body for her, showing her how he would take care of her for the rest of their lives. She'd reapplied her makeup, and looked so beautiful… she was made for him.

He'd asked her to marry him in that bathtub, and the smile she'd given him had made his heart finally warm. She and their child… the only people in the world he would ever love. She'd mentioned Bad Wolf Bay again, and something Tardis... the words sparked something in him, but he shoved them away as simply part of her psychosis. He'd understand her later.

Waking up the next morning, he could see Rose looking at him. She'd been watching him sleep, stroking his hair and half purring. His Big Bad Wolf, in a sweet sheep's clothing. He looked at the fob watch in her hand and took it from her, stroking the face of the watch as he heard his other self in there. It was still him, it felt exactly like him, only with a few perks. Either way, looking down at his fiance, he knew a few things. One, their minds had been ruined by the breaking of a connection to something called a Tardis. Two, he was half alien. Three, the Tardis had attempted to rewrite her DNA at one point, using the only other Time Lord it had had in it's memory banks that was as strong as her. Koschei. Four, he'd gotten her pregnant and gotten the adventure he'd wanted, and now, with the Tardis coral that was almost fully grown, he'd finally become the true Time Lord Victorious, as long as he opened the watch.

"I love you…" she murmured, in a dazed voice. He smirked, and breathed a sound that came like a set of chimes, before rolling her over and taking her again, slowly, stroking her stomach which was just beginning to pooch.

She watched him open it, and as the light erupted and he screamed, he swore he could hear the Master laughing at him somewhere in his mind. Somewhere in the universe, he had to feel like the true winner. The Doctor was finally like him.

I love you…

I know, I know, I'm a Master fan til the end. I love how John Simm did it, so I might end up writing one with him in it.

Thank you guys!

Much love,

Natural-blues