So as I said this is a 3x18 little thing, I don't really think this will happen but my apparently my muse didn't want to do anything else other than this.

I did write this yesterday when I was ill in bed (I am genuinely ill, so it's a miracle I even was able to do this) and my glorious friend Sofia said that I should post this so I did on tumblr and it went down better than I expected, so I thought I'd add it here too... ENJOY (oh and for those reading Here and Now, I promise I haven't forgotten my muse just wanted this first.)

Oliver was frozen in place. The buzz of people rushing around him, all trying to help the petite blonde on the hospital bed, didn't even move him. He couldn't hear anything, or even feel the strong arms of Diggle and Roy trying to drag him out the room. He didn't notice the doctors screaming clear as the defibrillator shocked her heart back into rhythm.

5 seconds. That's all it had been. For only 5 seconds her heart had stopped and Olivers whole world had fallen apart. 5 seconds was all it took for him to feel the devastation of nearly losing her. Of the light in his darkened world fading. Diggle and Roy had pulled him out of the room as the hospital staff rushed Felicity back in for surgery. Oliver saw his entire life disappearing as Felicity was rushed down the hall.

"Come on man." Diggle said slowly pulling him to the relatives' waiting room down the hall, Roy following not far behind. Oliver's heart hammered in his chest. He had faced death over and over, even nearly died a few months ago. Their first and only kiss being his final thought before he had been revived by Tatsu. He even dreamt of her. But none of that had changed him, he still hooded up, still needed to protect the city, his sister. He needed to embrace the Arrow, he had to, to beat Ra's and working with Malcolm seemed the only logical way. He was willing to let Oliver Queen go in order to save everyone, and in order to do that he needed to let Felicity go too. He loved her, but the life he had chosen couldn't make her happy, he couldn't be Oliver Queen and The Arrow. So he sacrificed his own happiness to keep everyone safer.

As they entered the relatives room Oliver noticed two other people in the room; Barry, who had rushed Felicity back to Starling after they had found her, and Ray. As soon as Oliver saw Ray something inside snapped. Before anyone had time to react he had Ray pinned against the wall.
"You were meant to keep her safe! I trusted you to look after her!" Oliver shouted in rage. Ray didn't even try to fight, the guilt was radiating from him. "What the hell happened?!" Oliver punched the wall beside Rays head in absolute frustration, and within seconds, Barry, Diggle, and Roy were restraining him.

"I'm sorry Oliver..."

"You're sorry? She nearly died because of you!" Rays head dropped slightly.

"The suit, everything worked, we just… we weren't quick enough." Barry said with regret and guilt in his voice. Oliver turned his head to look at him. "I wasn't quick enough." Barry said a tear sliding down his cheek.

"We tried Oliver, we really did." Ray said looking him in the eyes.

"You might have but the fact remains this wouldn't have even happened if you hadn't done whatever it was to piss that guy off!" Oliver spat out as the 3 guys let go of him. "If she dies it's on you!" The room fell silent as everyone's eyes widened in shock at Oliver's sudden outburst.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said Palmer!"

"Says the Arrow! Who puts her life at risk every day! She is in constant danger being just a part of your life! So don't you dare put this on me." Ray said standing a little taller. "I feel enough guilt I don't need yours as well." Olivers mouth fell open. He looked between all the guys, before he took a seat in silence.

"I'm going to call Felicity's mom." Diggle said looking between the other 3 guys.

Felicity was back in the alley of Verdant from all those months ago.

"Felicity."

"I need some air really means, I don't want to talk right now."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Maybe you could be a little more specific." She said turning to face him. "For letting us believe you were dead for weeks or for abandoning every principle you claim to have by getting into bed with Malcolm Merlyn." He took a step closer to her "Uh-uh." She said slowly taking a step back. The pain of her brief movement was evident in his features.

"That's not why you're upset."

"While you were gone for almost a month, I allowed myself to fantasize, to dream that maybe, just maybe Merlyn was wrong, that you were alive and that you would come back and that when you did you would be different, that almost dying would give you a new perspective on life, that you would just do things differently."

"Things between us, you mean." She stepped closer to him then.

"Before you left, the last thing you said to me... was that you loved me. Now you're back, and the first thing you tell me is that you are working with the man who turned your sister, a woman you're supposed to love, into a killer, who killed a woman you used to love." She saw his eyes flickering with something but she carried on "I don't want to be a woman that you love." His face dropped in an instant.

"Oliver!" Felicity shouted shooting up. A pain in her side and a hand in her own squeezing caused her to focus. She glanced to her mother there. Her usual sunny appearance gone, her makeup and short dresses long forgotten as her eyes were red and puffy and the tears ran down her face. "Mom?" Felicity frowned in confusion taking in the entire room. She was in a hospital. Then she remembered Barry and Rays failed rescue attempt. She closed her eyes as her mother engulfed her in a hug.

"I'll get the doctor! I'll be right back."

The doctor appeared, checking Felicity over.

"Now Miss Smoak, you need to rest. We'll talk to you in the morning about your care. But I'll up your pain medication." Felicity merely nodded as the doctor administered some form of medication. She could see her mother nervously sitting there.

"Mom what are you doing here?" Felicity asked as the doctor left the room.

"You nearly died Felicity. I think I have a right to be here." Her mother said leaning closer.

"I didn't mean it like that." She said rubbing her eyes, feeling the painkillers start to take effect.

"Sweetie, how long do you think you've been here?"

"A couple of hours, I dunno." Felicity shrugged lying back into the pillows.

"You've been in a comma for 3 days, you nearly died and we've been waiting for you to wake up ever since." Felicitys mouth fell open.

"3 days..." She said softly. "I've been here 3 days... Has anyone else been?" She didn't know why she asked that.

"When I first got here, there were 5 handsome men unwilling to leave your side."

"5?" She frowned heavily.

"Yes Mr Palmer, Mr Allen, Mr Harper, Mr Diggle, and Mr Queen." Her mother smiled softly.

"They're just friends."

"Friends? They've hardly left your side."

"It's not like they've been waiting for hospital sex mom!" Felicity cringed at her own words. "They're just friends worried about their fellow friend."

"Felicity, please tell me you don't believe that."

"Mom..."

"Mr Allen had to return home on the second day but he calls for updates daily. Mr Palmer visits all the time, he was here earlier, sits and talks about tech to you. Mr Harper and Mr Diggle have kept me company; made sure I remembered to eat and stayed here when I went to sleep or shower..." She smiled softly as she reminisced.

"What about Oliver?" Felicity spoke before her mind even caught up. "Where's he been all this time?" She said with clear hurt and anger. Her mother frowned grabbing her hand.

"He wouldn't leave your side." Felicitys mouth fell open. "You think I look bad you should see him. Mr Diggle and Mr Harper dragged him from the hospital this afternoon so he could have a shower and get some sleep." Felicity felt her heart beat a little faster. "I think it's glaringly obvious how you two feel about each other." Felicity felt her eyes getting heavy.

"It's not that simple."

"When is anything that's truly worth it?" Her mother gently brushed the hair off of her face. "We… he nearly lost you and that has had a clear effect on him." Felicity snorted, if his own near death experience hadn't effected him why would hers.

"Go get some sleep mom. I'll be fine." Her eyes fell shut, as her mother shook her head slightly.

Oliver couldn't sleep; he hated being away from Felicity for so long. It felt like he was drowning when he couldn't see the gentle rise and fall of her chest knowing she was still alive. He was making his way back to the hospital much to Diggles and Roys protests. It was night time and he didn't want Felicity to be alone. So Diggle agreed to drive him to the hospital.

"I nearly lost her Dig."

"We all did." He said not taking his eyes off the road.

"I've faced death so many times but those 5 seconds when I thought she'd gone. I just... I couldn't function."

"Maybe you should be telling her this." Diggle said softly.

"I will when she wakes up... But seriously Diggle, I've felt the pain of losing loved ones but for those 5 seconds it was like my world had stopped-"

"You do realise she felt the same when we thought you had died?"

"What?" Oliver said turning his head to face him.

"She didn't cry in front of us, she grieved but the first thing she did was quit the team."

"She did?"

"She said there was no this without you." Olivers heart hammered in his chest. "But she changed her mind, she realised it was all our crusade now... You see Oliver your death changed Felicitys perspective. Even when all hope was lost, she was the one that believed in you... She loves you man, and I don't mean the Arrow she loves the man underneath."

Oliver blinked rapidly unsure what to say. The woman he loved had been through so much losing him and he had only lost her for 5 seconds and it turned his world upside down. There was no wander she was hoping he'd have done things differently when he returned.
They drove the rest of the journey in silence. Oliver stepped out the car, as Diggle went to park up.

He was not expecting to see Ray walking out the hospital smiling brightly.

"Oliver," Ray beamed and he frowned. "I thought you'd be the first here..."

"For what?"

"Felicity woke up earlier." His mouth fell open.

"Nobody told me." He said blinking quickly fighting back the tears. "She's awake?"

"She's a sleep at the moment but yes." Ray's smile was infectious and Oliver couldn't help grinning.

"I'm sorry about what I said Ray."

"It was understandable."

"No, I thought she'd be safer with you, happier, have a life I couldn't give her. So I had no right when I pushed her away, when I put her life in danger all those times."

"As Felicity would say, it's her life and her choices... I'm pretty sure she'd choose you every time Oliver."

"But you two..."

"We're friends. We can't be anything more when her heart so clearly belongs to you." Ray extended his hand. "Take good care of her Oliver; she's one of a kind."

"That she is." Oliver said shaking his hand before rushing inside.

Donna Smoak was leaving her room and she gave Oliver a soft smile. She saw the look of complete relief on his face as he stood in the door way watching her daughters sleeping form. She gently slipped away leaving him to it, unable to forget the look of love and longing in his eyes.

Oliver's heart was pounding as he stared at Felicity petite frame in the bed. She might be asleep now and no longer in a comma but she looked brighter than he'd seen her for the last 3 days. He stood in the door way, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"She woke up earlier." Oliver said smiling at Diggle.

"Well there you go then; she's a fighter, survivor just like you." He smiled. "I'll leave you to it if it's okay? I've got to go hold my wife and daughter." Diggles eyes sparkled with love.

"Of course." Oliver said nodding as he turned his head back into the room. She was sat up, frowning in his direction.

"Oliver?" She said softly her voice hoarse. She stretched for her glasses wincing slightly. Oliver was by her side in 3 short strides, helping place her glasses on her face. She blinked then taking in his appearance. He had dark rings under his eyes, his skin looked pale and his stubble was starting to thicken. She frowned.

"I thought we'd lost you." Oliver said so quietly.

"Well you can't get rid of me that easily." Felicity said reaching for a glass of water. Again Oliver helped her and she was starting to get annoyed. "I'm not an invalid." She snapped slightly. Oliver merely chuckled.

"I didn't think you were..."

"You look worse than I feel." She said softly looking him up and down as he stood by the bed. His hand rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well... I..." He took a deep breath. "I didn't want to leave you."

"Why?" She shook her head.

"You know why." He said softly. She shook her head.

"Stop okay. I have told you, I can't keep doing this," She gestured between them, "I've always known how I felt... I've always know what I wanted, it was you that couldn't do this." She closed her eyes briefly. "It was you who always said those words but never backed them up with your actions."

"Hey-"

"No! You died, you died and-"

"So did you!" He shouted back stopping her, her eyes wide. "For 5 seconds, your heart stopped. You died and in that time I have never felt so completely and utterly lost. I might not have changed after my death but I most certainly have since yours!" Her mouth fell open.

"How? I nearly die and you realise you finally want me?"

"No! I have always wanted you! I thought that I couldn't be me and The Arrow. That I had to sacrifice my happiness to make it all work but I realised my happiness, me, the people I love are the reason it actually works."

"What do you mean?" She frowned then as he walked to the foot of her bed.

"Since you've been in the hospital I haven't put the hood on once. I haven't even thought about it because you are more important to me. And I realised even though we weren't together you were a part of my life. And I can't function at all without you."

"I... What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Felicity Meghan Smoak that I am tired of not being with you. You make me happy, the happiest I've ever been. You make me in to a better man, as Oliver Queen and The Arrow. I can't live without you in my life. I love you, and I want to fight for this, for us and I know it won't be easy." He stepped closer sitting beside her on the bed. "But I want to try; I want us to work because when your heart stopped so did mine." His voice broke at the end as the tears swarmed his eyes. "I can't lose you Felicity." He sound so fragile like a small child, and Felicity's heart hammered in her chest. Her hand went to his cheek as she gently wiped away the falling tears even if he didn't look at her.

It crushed her seeing the man she loved so cut up. She had seen him hide his emotions behind a wall. Seen him carry on regardless of everything else but here he was his heart on display for her. He was finally giving her his heart, and it was now up to her if she crushed it or not.

"It took you long enough to catch up." She whispered and his eyes finally met hers. She saw the confusion and glimmer of hope.

"Are you saying what I think you are?"

"I love you Oliver Jonas Queen." His heart stopped. It was the first time she had said it to him and he couldn't help the grin that over took his face. His chest filled with warmth as he ever so tenderly leant forward. She closed the gap and their lips melded together.

This kiss was so much more than what he had dreamt of, so much more than their first kiss. This wasn't filled with goodbyes or pain or hurt, it was filled with love, devotion and most of all promise. They gently pulled apart their foreheads resting together, both their eyes remained closed.

"You should probably get some sleep." Oliver said softly trying to move. Felicity clutched his leather jacket.

"Stay with me." She whispered, shifting slightly on the bed so he could lie with her.

"Always." They lay down wrapped in each other both enjoying this familiar yet new sensation. She rest her head over his heart.

"I might not have everything figured out, and I can't promise I won't make mistakes but I promise I'll try to be the man you deserve and give you a future you want too."

"You already are that man Oliver." She said softly. "I just want us to work things out together. No more making decisions alone about the women and the people you love"

"I'll try." He said gently placing a kiss to the crown of her head.

"That's all I ask." She said smiling against his chest.

"Felicity?"

"Yes?" She said in a half sleepy state.

"I know I've made a lot of bad choices, and that you're disappointed with me joining forces with Merlyn but I have a plan..."

"I never doubted that... I was just angry." She said softly. He couldn't help the small laugh.

"I should have told you this sooner... When I died, I saw my family, my father, my mother and Thea-"

"That's not unusual, they say you see the people you love the most before you die."

"My last thought was you... Our kiss..." He felt the breath leave Felicity's body as his words registered. The weight of his words rested hard on her heart. "I should have fought for you the moment I came back. But I was too focused on protecting Thea and stopping Ra's-"

"It's okay, I understand... It's better late than never." She gently placed her hand in his entwining their fingers.

"I do love you." He whispered softly into her ear.

"I love you too." They fell asleep in the small hospital bed; Felicity's steady breathes relaxing Oliver and his heartbeat reassuring Felicity that this was real.

They might not know what would face them in the future but they knew they'd be okay if they faced it all together.