-what have i become?

three months later

Thoughts immerse in my head, waiting to be spoken, only never said. I am too afraid to speak. I am afraid of them. I have waited to return. I have not returned for so long. I became hungrier.

For flesh, yes.

But even more for life.

They took away my life. They took away my love. My voice. I am alone, left to ravage the world with my infected mind. My eyelids search for the delicious taste of flesh, the quenching scent of blood every single moment. It does not take even seconds to dismember my victims. I am a savage, a barbarian thing with only a body and no heart.

I live now only to kill.

I am a sick being. Fueled by the pain of other's souls, pleasured by crimson red wine. I accepted the evil voice in my head and went on to survive. I met many humans whose darkened fate was to die for my needs.

"This is my territory, you bitch," Other ghouls said to me. I would have eaten them too, if the humans weren't so tasty. I feasted on their intestines and savored their arms happily while crunching on their crispy bones, sucking out the marrow, guzzling their red nectar.

It was beyond delicious.

I didn't need to miss anyone. No, not that little stitches boy, Suzuya. No, not that man named Takizawa. He had white locks now, draping down that hood of his, and a menacing look about him that I chose to ignore. That sweet boy was so nice to me. But that sweet boy only snarled at me and bellowed for me to go bother someone else. His sideways smiles turned into ravenous sneers. His cute little blushes were turned into constant bloodstains. I had seen him quickly twist around heads of Investigators, gulping down the blood that dripped from above.

My mother was long dead, and my father was proven dead.

I laughed, and although it was only in my mind, I laughed.

Though Suzuya still haunted me sometimes. Or was it Suzuya? I did not know. Sometimes I would hear a ringing, piercing laugh, maybe I would see his barrettes forming 'XIII' and most of all, I would see his stitches that I hated the most about him, yet always loved about.

Even if I wanted to, I could not call for him. No, I could not attract attention for my death. That was only part of it. But I was too afraid to speak. They would be there, and I saw all of my blood spatter to the ground endlessly. My screams vibrated endlessly without warning, and when they were finally done, tears still formed in a pool as I curled myself into a ball, rocking, rocking, rocking. They took my destroyed organs and replaced them with other ghouls' organs to their interest, and their hopeful souls wished for me to become a new kind of half-ghoul. Maybe one with two types of kagune, maybe, maybe, maybe.

'Help me, help me, help me,' I whispered in my mind.

"Perfect..." The man named Dr. Kanou said. "Look at you..." He said with a cold, small smile.

"How do you feel...?" Eto said, looking down at me, as if I were just another one of her toys.

"..." I did not speak.

"..."

"..."

'Help me.'

"Can you even talk?" She smiled, pleased with herself. "Good. You won't bother us like that anymore, unlike that Takizawa who always mentions that stupid little Akira Mado dove girl. He can be so worthless sometimes. Don't you think, Tatara...? Won't you just have fun with tiny Kazumi here?"

'Help me.'

"Feel free to take her. She's a successful experimentation," Kanou's eyes shone in the dim light. "She's going to be a good one. It's rinkaku kagune, definitely, but she has wings like an ukaku. I think those two ghouls infused in her really did something. The rinkaku dominates and she can't release the crystals from her ukaku wings. But it's a step forward."

"She'll heal like Ken Kaneki, though, what, 10 percent slower?" He added and started picking up files.

Eto squealed. "Tatara! Make her join Aogiri!"

He simply nodded and took a step forward to me, slowly, looking me up and down, as if I were an animal on a platter, waiting to be cooked and roasted and plucked like a chicken.

"Welcome to Aogiri."

.

I ached all over. My entire kagune was ripped apart, it was like a shredded piece of paper by now. My fingers, popped off like feathers, were not hesitant to make me screech inside. Howls and cries of pain coming from my own lips rang like loud bells across the room.

"So you can scream but cannot talk. Interesting," Tatara spoke in his usual cold voice. "I'm done with you. And now I know that you can't talk..."

I looked at him, wide-eyed. Juuzou. Taiki. Shinohara. Akira. Amon. Takizawa.

I stared at him blankly, not saying a word, not thinking, just stared deep in his eyes, praying.

"You're in Aogiri, ghoul."

Ghoul. Ghoul. Ghoul.

'I'm sure I am in Aogiri. What else am I? I'm lowly ghoul scum now,' voices said in my head.

I nodded and curled up into my little ball again, softly and shakily breathing. I didn't want him to hurt me again. It hurt so much. No more talking. No.

Never, never again.

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT A/N: Some foreshadowing there, I suppose. Basically this chapter was relevant because Kazumi's a half-ghoul, under the intense experimental trauma she went during her second surgery to become a hybrid half-ghoul and the torture that came shortly after from Tatara, it made her mute from severe psychological trauma. They forcibly lured her into Aogiri because she was objecting that she was a ghoul and would never be in Aogiri. But even though nonselective mutes cannot speak, they can make sounds like screaming and crying and such.

I have no idea if Kazumi is now a Mary Sue but she's not supposed to be. Her hybrid Kagune led to her muteness. It is a mix of ukaku wings that can still stretch like normal but cannot crystallize and rinkaku tentacles, kind of like Hinami's but I'm not sure if that's rinkaku but the style is like that but only that way and somewhat weaker. Kazumi takes longer to heal and needs to eat more due to her RC level.

Hope that cleared things up. Thank you for reading!