Lucius had to struggle to not show the disgust on his face as he watched Dolores Umbridge almost crawl into Fudge's lap, a silly expression (even though she clearly thought it was a seductive expression) on her face.

Now Lucius had no problem with Umbridge trying to "charm" Fudge. Lucius, after all, was a master at being charming when necessary, which meant that he had no problem whatsoever with telling people that he could use to his advantage that they were absolutely wonderful and brilliant (even though they rarely were).

Lucius could also appreciate how Umbridge was able to act so sweet on the outside but be so sadistic in the inside. In that way, she was a true Slytherin, a master at pretending and at presenting a false mask to the world.

Lucius, however, did have his limits when it came to acting "sweet." He would not, for instance, ever crawl into someone's lap like Umbridge was currently doing. He did have some degree of dignity thank you very much.

To add to all this, Umbridge's pink outfit was way too much. Now Lucius did not really have any personal problems with the color pink. As a girl, Narcissa had worn a few dresses with traces of pink in it. But none of Narcissa's dresses had ever been fully pink (she, like Lucius, understood the good fashion sense of wearing black and dark green), and none of the pinks in her dresses had been bright and overwhelming. Narcissa's pinks had always added to her natural elegance instead of making her look like a target just begging to be taken down by the foulest of curses.

And Lucius knew more than just a few foul curses, so Umbridge was truly pushing her luck with him by wearing that bright pink outfit.

"You are going to be wonderful at Hogwarts, Dolores," Fudge said, interrupting Lucius's thoughts.

"Oh, thank you, Cornelius," Umbridge smiled sweetly, her face so close to Fudge's that their lips were close to meeting. "I'm really looking forward to straightening things out to your approval at that school."

Lucius had to resist the temptation to Transfigure himself a bucket in which he could vomit into.

"I can't wait either," Fudge agreed.

Fudge then looked down at his watch. "Lucius, Dolores, I'm afraid both of you are going to have to excuse me for the moment. I have an important meeting to attend. I thank you, Lucius, for your generous donation to St. Mungo's."

"It was no problem at all, Fudge," Lucius smiled. "I'm always happy to help out such a noble cause."

Lucius stood up and shook the other man's offered hand.

Umbridge actually kissed Fudge's hand before giving him her sweetest smile.

It was enough to almost make Lucius sick. If he didn't get out of the room as soon as possible, he would need that bucket.

Lucius left Fudge's office with as much grace and dignity as he possibly could.

Unfortunately, he was soon joined by Umbridge.

"You have a son attending Hogwarts this year, don't you, Lucius," Umbridge inquired.

"Draco," Lucius confirmed with a nod of his head. "He'll be in his fifth year."

"Oh, his O.W.L.s year, how wonderful," Umbridge said, her voice extremely high-pitched in its false sweetness. "I'm sure that he will get exceptional grades, and that he will do you proud. I heard that you were at the top of your year."

"I was," Lucius confirmed with another nod of his head. "I have always stressed to Draco the importance of doing well in his studies."

"I'm so glad to hear that," Umbridge replied. "There are so many young wizards and witches these days that don't value education."

"That's why I'm hoping that you will be able to change that," Lucius responded. "We are nothing without knowledge."

"So true," Umbridge returned.

Lucius stepped onto the open lift. To his horror, Umbridge followed him. He also didn't like how she was insisting on standing so close to him. It was true that the lift wasn't that big, but it was also true that the lift was big enough that it didn't require two people to stand side-by-side when it was just them.

"What is your destination?" Lucius asked as politely as possible.

"The Improper Use of Magic Office," Umbridge answered.

Lucius had to resist the temptation to groan. That was his destination as well. The Dark Lord wanted him to find out as much as possible about the latest developments on the case regarding Harry Potter's use of underage magic against the dementors.

"I'm going there as well," Lucius smiled, somehow managing not to grimace.

"Oh, how wonderful," Umbridge said brightly. "I would be honoured to have you accompany me. Cornelius does speak very highly of you."

"He speaks very highly of you as well," Lucius replied in his most pleasant voice.

Was it just Lucius's imagination or was Umbridge moving even closer to him?

It wasn't his imagination, though, when she suddenly grabbed his hand.

To Lucius's credit, he only looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, don't be so coy, Lucius," Umbridge giggled (a painful sound to Lucius's ears). "Surely you realize that you are a very handsome man."

Umbridge than began to run her other hand through Lucius's long blond hair as she gave him her sweetest smile.

Where was a bucket when you really needed one?

"I am touched," Lucius spoke as he removed Umbridge's hand from his hair as gently but also as urgently (without trying to make it appear that way) as possible, "but I also happen to be a happily married man." He then pulled his hand out of Umbridge's other hand.

And if Lucius were to ever get the silly idea of cheating on Narcissa (which was highly unlikely, even if he was to suddenly and mysteriously lose his memory), the woman he would cheat on his wife with most definitely would never be Dolores Umbridge.

"Don't be silly, Lucius," Umbridge giggled (much more of this and Lucius would be needing new ears along with that bucket). "That has never bothered Cornelius."

Lucius's opinion of Umbridge lowered even more. Not because she had slept with Fudge (because that didn't really surprise Lucius), but because she had so openly admitted it. Any wise Slytherin knew that you never gave away any information that could potentially one day be used as blackmail against you.

"You give me way too much credit," Lucius managed to smile. "Fudge is in a class of his own."

"But it wouldn't be impossible for someone like you to one day be Minister," Umbridge replied in a vomit-worthy voice (even though she clearly thought it was a seductive voice). "You definitely have what it takes."

"You flatter me," Lucius responded, "but being the Minister has never been a goal of mine. It's much too stressful of a position and having a teenage son is more than enough stress for me at the moment."

Not to mention also having the stress of trying to keep a certain Dark Lord happy.

Lucius was so desperate to get Umbridge away from him that he was almost tempted to tell her that he was a Death Eater. Now Lucius knew that Umbridge shared many of the Death Eaters' views. However, he also knew that she was obsessed with rules, and the last time he had checked, it was still against the rules to be a Death Eater.

"Oh, I suppose I can understand that," Umbridge said, "but it's still a shame. You truly would make a wonderful Minister, Lucius."

"But nothing like our current one," Lucius replied.

"No, of course not," Umbridge agreed. "Cornelius truly has something special about him."

Oh, Fudge was special indeed, but not in the way that Umbridge was thinking.

To Lucius's relief, the lift finally stopped and opened. He stepped off, closely followed by Umbridge.

Lucius "accidentally" looked at his watch.

"Oh, is it really that time already?" he expressed in a "shocked" voice. "I'm afraid I won't be able to accompany you after all. My presence is regrettably required elsewhere at the moment."

"That's a shame," Umbridge frowned slightly. A moment later, however, she brightened. "Perhaps another time then. I hope that I will get a chance to see you again, Lucius, before I leave for Hogwarts."

"We can only hope," Lucius replied. "Have a good afternoon."

"Oh, you too, Lucius."

Lucius resisted the temptation to run away from Umbridge. No, he would be dignified than that, no matter how uncomfortable and disgusted he was.

And fortunately for him, there was more than one way to obtain the information that he needed for the Dark Lord. There was, after all, someone who worked in the Improper Use of Magic Office who wouldn't want anyone knowing that he was the one extorting money from several important people at the Ministry.