Okay so it's literally been over a year and I have no good excuse for my absence but like I said before, I'm never going to abandon my writings and you will see the end of this book, even if it kills me to do so.. Okay idk about to my death but I sure will be trying to my best to update more frequently and hopefully not leave a year in between chapters. If you guys have ANY requests at all please let me know so I can insert it in the book, do you want Clary to be less badass, more badass, less thoughtful, more thoughtful? Whatever you guys want and whatever character you guys want changed!

Jonathan P.O.V

When Clarissa was back to laying on an infirmary bed I wasted no time feigning injury. I turned to Maryse,

"Is it okay with you if I stay here for a while? Just until these scratches heal, I'll even watch over Clarissa tonight so you guys don't have to."

Maryse nodded as I knew she would and helped me bandage what little wounds I had suffered from Clarissa's outburst. Now thinking about it, Clarissa barely put up a fight, the nicotine must've really affected her. Although it meant there would be less resistance from Clarissa if she woke up when we were leaving, I needed her strength for my future plans. I made a note to have her checked up on when we were back at the mansion.

"Sebastian I'm going to need you to alert the Clave of her dwindling mental state, I'm not sure if a prison is what she'll need right now."

I furrowed my brows in confusion, yes it would seem as though Clarissa were crazy because of the way she acted with me, but other than physical disabilities from battles, Shadowhunters weren't disabled, we didn't even get the common cold. My guard went up, there was something sketchy happening in her mind, I continued to act oblivious despite my suspicions, saying,

"Alright, what do you want me to write?"

Maryse put a hand to her chin in deep thought,

"Tell them about how you came to be here, in detail, and explain how Clarissa's reaction was out of the blue, and, make sure they're aware of just how much of the harmful substance that Hodge injected her with."

I nodded my head feeling dismissed before making my way to the library. I know knew for a fact that Maryse was suspicious of me, but I had no idea why. Clarissa did have an outburst, but Sebastian was a small shadowhunter, his disappearance barely noticeable. I'd just have to make sure that Maryse didn't contact the family, or else I'd have to kill all of the Lightwoods and I surprisingly I wasn't in the mood for spilling anyone's blood today. I needed to know why she was suddenly interested in 'my' background but that would come in due time, for now I would play the good little dog and make up a story for my being here without any type of resistance.

Clary P.O.V

I knew that I was supposed to be sleeping, that the chloroform was supposed to keep knocked out for a day, if not a few more hours, but it didn't. I was awake but I kept my eyes shut in fear of being forced back into a dark oblivion. I could hear someone breathing in and out in and out and I willed my heart to beat at the same slow relaxing pace.

"I know that you're awake. I had to make it seem as though I gave you enough to kill a horse."

My eyes shot open to the familiar motherly voice of Maryse. My face scrunched up in confusion.

Why the hell? I've got to go about this gently, I'm too weak to defend myself right now.

"Why? Why would you do that? I thought you were afraid of me lashing out at Seba-"

A gasp flew out of my mouth and I sat completely upright in half a second upon remembering what danger was currently residing in the institute. I started to make my way off the bed but Maryse held out a hand to stop me. I looked up at her and could feel my patience slipping away, if anything happened to Jace I would lose my shit. I cared for Max as well, but there was something about Jace being hurt that really had my blood boiling. Maryse spoke to me slowly, as you would a wild animal,

"You need to lay down and talk quietly, if anyone hears us questions will be asked, and as soon as questions are asked, I'll really have to put you under. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head in understanding and Maryse slowly removed her hand from my body. She sat back on her chair and ushered for me to explain myself. I glanced out the door before speaking in a hushed tone,

"That is not Sebastian, that is Jonathan Morgenstern. Jonathan as in my brother whom you really don't want near your children, especially not Max."

My voice got impossibly quieter,

"He won't think twice before snapping his neck or the neck of anyone here. Actually he probably won't think once, he might just do it for fun. By the angel, he might've done it already."

My eyes snapped back to Maryse who held a face full of fear and worry, but not for herself, for her children. It was my turn to speak slowly to her,

"You need to act as if you've never heard any of this. If he thinks you're on to him, he won't hesitate to save his own skin. He will not risk whatever his plans are for one shadowhunter family."

Maryse nodded with cold eyes,

"You can't leave here, Jonathan has requested to stay here a little longer but I've momentarily sent him out to write a detailed letter of how he ended up here and why."

My eyes widened in shock,

"He asked you to stay in the infirmary? Why?"

"He claims that he still needs to get over the bruises and what not."

I bit my lip in concentration, there was a way to fix things before Jonathan realized that Maryse was skeptical of him, but it would put me at risk. The thought of 'Sebastian' staying in the infirmary with an unconscious defenseless Clarissa made me visibly shiver. I look at Maryse helplessly, knowing that she can't get in between Sebastian and the infirmary but also knowing without a doubt that I would be gone before the sun came up.

I bit my lip and nodded my head nonetheless. If me being back in Valentine's clutches meant saving Jace and MAx then so be it. There was no way that I would risk their lives for my benefit. I had to keep my plans to myself though, I had no doubt that if Maryse knew what Jonathan was capable of, she wouldn't risk him being in the same room as me. I tried to reassure her and downplay how dangerous Sebastian was,

"Don't worry though, I can take care of him if it really came down to it. Just keep this conversation between the two of us."

She casted me a weary glance,

"I don't know about that, I'm supposed to alert the cCave and I don't want Valentine's son to escape without some type of penalty for his actions."

My expression turned cold after that, the truth was, she didn't want to risk neither one of Valentine's children from escaping, once a Morgenstern always a Morgenstern.

Not that I gave her reason to trust me, but it hurt nonetheless.

Now I was no longer trying to comfort Maryse with my words, I was trying to let her know that I understood the double meaning of her words, even if she didn't understand herself. If she really thought that I would willingly go back to Valentine she never believed one word I told her.

Over the few weeks that I spent here I had let a few of Valentine's 'punishments' slip to Maryse and she showed understanding, not pity like others would I didn't bother telling Jace because I knew he wouldn't know how to react, he had no experience with comforting a Morgenstern with serious daddy issues, so what was the point?

Bringing my thought back to the problem at hand I turned to Maryse with a straight face,

"Don't worry Maryse, I'd take being looked in a cell being guarded by Silent Brothers over a whipping from Valentine any day."

Her eyes softened considerably.

"Clariss- Clary, that's not what I meant. It's just that, you're father is a very person, this is coming from someone who's experienced his speeches first hand, I myself found it hard to see the error in my ways when valentine was leading the circle."

She pursed her lips trying to convey her meaning without being rude, little did she know that the damage was already done,

"I would never hold you accountable for your actions, especially with the way the nephilim has gone about treating you, but taking all the physical and emotional damage that Valentine has caused you…"

Maryse paused, once again trying to find a way to speak without coming off as, well, as a bitch.

"I would not hold you accountable if you did everything in your power to make sure that you were never hurt again, but I can't jeopardize my family's safety by putting my full trust in you."

I saw where she was coming from of course, but hearing her say it aloud was causing my blood to boil and I almost couldn't contain my anger. Almost. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm my nerves before replying to Maryse in a soft low voice,

"I want you to know, Maryse, that if I wanted any of you dead, you would be dead already."

I put on a small smile at the end before continuing,

"I do understand where you're coming from but don't forget that it was Valentine who raised me. Sure Jace would stand a chance, but he hasn't had the extensive training that I did. He doesn't know all forms of torture like I do."

I laid back on the infirmary bed and closed my eyes, listening to my heart beat,

"You're right, I've been through a lot. But I would never want anyone to go through what I've been through, which is exactly what will happen if Valentine gets whatever it is that he wants. Whether it be the Mortal Sword or the Mortal Cup, I would rather give my life up then see him come to power."

Maryse sighed, knowing that by closing my eyes I was letting her know that I ready to play the role of an unconscious Clarissa. I heard her get up from her position on the couch and listened to the pit pat of her shoes getting farther and farther away from me but closer and closer to the doors.

When she reached the doors I heard her stop,

"I wouldn't let you stay here if I didn't have faith in you Clarissa, you best believe that at least."

With that said Maryse left the infirmary without another word. I felt a small smile form on my mouth because I truly did believe her but it was gone without a trace when I remembered what was about to happen.

Jonathan P.O.V

After sending the letter to the Clave I walked about the institute for a while as to not rouse anymore suspicion from Maryse. I found myself in the kitchen munching on an apple when Max Lightwood walked in. Upon seeing me he froze and scrunched up his confusion.

Well hello there.

I smirked at him and thought about how he would die. I could kill him right now, later today, or in the far far future. Just the thought of angel blood being spilled drove my inner demon crazy.

The blood-lust was about to take over so I quickly averted my eyes from the knives on the kitchen counter. Max gave me an innocent smile and squinted his eyes at me, obviously trying to see me better,

"Uh… are you the Sebastian guy that everyone is talking about? Oh wait, as that rude? Wait, was asking if that was rude rude?"

I slowly laughed to hide my irritation and threw my apple in the garbage,

"You're alright little bud, no harm done."

Suddenly an idea popped into my head, a way to pass the time until I could return to the infirmary which hopefully wouldn't hold Maryse in it.

"Hey, a little birdie told me that you want to improve your archery skills, how about you and I go to the training room and practice."

Max looked up at me with excitement and surprise,

"Really?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Awesome! Are we going to start now?!"

I let another fake laugh escape my lips as I laughed again,

"Yeah of course I'm sure, let's go."

Max led the way to the training room, walking as fast as his scrawny legs would take him. I walked behind him easily keeping up with a small smirk on my face, this way I could hurt him without having to take any blame, hell I could even blame it on his clumsiness.

And angel knows just how clumsy this little boy must be.

If I wasn't careful with holding back my inner demon. Max Lightwood would not leave that training room alive."

AAAAAAAAAAND THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Okay so I am aware of just how long it took for me to update so please put away all of the pitchforks, thank you, thank you. Okay and now I'm going to let you all know that I am currently looking for a beta! Not the werewolf beta, the please edit my stories because I can't find my mistakes until a week after I publish the chapter beta. Jeez looking back at my work these last few weeks to familiarize myself has left me shook with the amount of grammatical errors, THE BEST PART IS THAT YOU GUYS STILL LOVE MY BOOK AHHHH! Thanks so much guys and gals!

~Sun Out