Quinn took a long drag from her cigarette, casually leaning behind the bleachers, head tilted back as she sighed deeply and exhaled a ring of smoke. It was comforting, in a strange way. Being here like this, with no one to bother her or pressure her to be the 'perfect Christian girl'. A humorless chuckle bubbled out of her throat at the thought as she brought the stick back between her lips.

Other people could think what they wanted to of her, but she didn't care anymore. If they couldn't accept her for who she was, then she was better off without them. Without all of them.

After all, they only cared about her outward appearance, not seeing the wreck that she was inside.

"Quinn…"

A small and unsure voice dragged Quinn out of her thoughts, a frown on her face as she was met with deep, brown eyes.

"What do you want, Rachel?" Quinn drawled, flicking the cigarette as she raised an eyebrow expectantly.

And there it was. The nervous fiddling with the strap of her bright red purse. Rachel Berry was rarely ever nervous, but here she was, standing in front of her and looking a little intimidated. Quinn fought back the laughter that was threatening to spill out of her lips, looking straight into Rachel's eyes.

Again with the never-ending chasing.

"We were friends once, okay? And maybe when you cut off all your hair last year, I thought it would solve all your problems… I should've spoken up," Rachel continued, tripping and stumbling over her words, yet she didn't glance away from Quinn.

Lips set into a thin line, Quinn looked away for a moment, knowing where this conversation was headed. She threw her cigarette to the ground and stomped on it for good measure, uncaring that Rachel looked at the stick with obvious distaste.

Right. Because smoking would destroy your vocal chords.

Again, she didn't care at all.

"M-maybe when you dropped out of society last summer and started dating this forty-year old skater-"

By this point, Quinn was beyond want of listening. Jaw set tight, she stared piercingly at Rachel and flatly said, "I'm not coming back to Glee club."

But of course, knowing that Rachel was just as stubborn as she was, if not more, continued to talk. Quinn honestly didn't get why Rachel cared so much about her. Continually chasing, ever-present in her life, never wanting to let go.

Maybe she was the same. Maybe a huge part of her didn't want to let go of that, either. That someone in her life still cared about her, unwilling to let her self-destruct and just leave her be.

"We need you, okay? A-and have you seen those purple pianos around school?" Rachel said excitedly, gesturing outside, her brown eyes twinkling with hope.

If only she could hold the same amount of faith and hope that Rachel always seemed to have.

"We need your tremulous alto and your Belinda Carlisle glamor-"

Rachel was cut off again, but not by Quinn this time. The Mack and the rest of the Skanks, who suddenly appeared behind Quinn.

"I'll give you ten bucks if you let me beat her up for you, Quinn," the Mack said as she stepped forward.

Quinn pursed her lips, the idea extremely unappealing to her. God knows she wouldn't ever allow anyone to lay a hand on Rachel, even if it was the people she thought accepted her for who she was.

Rachel, paying no mind to the threat at hand, powered on, "I'm sorry you're so sad, Quinn… And maybe you're not going to believe me because we were never really close, but I'm sad not seeing you in the choir room-"

Quinn looked away for a moment, hiding her vulnerability and the fact that she cared enough that Rachel was right here, in front of her, trying to convince her that this wasn't where she was supposed to be. Because no one, no one apart from Rachel cared about her enough to hold her up and make her see that she was so much more than what she thought of herself.

"-and we've all been through so much together. We're a family and this is our year to get it right."

Those last three words made Quinn snap her head in attention, feeling a slow burn in her chest as her gaze locked with Rachel's. God, why was Rachel affecting her so much? No matter how hard she tried, Rachel just wouldn't leave.

"We would love to have you back in the Glee Club," Rachel said determinedly. Then, gesturing to Quinn, she added in a soft voice, "Whenever you're ready. Okay?"

Before Quinn could react, Rachel was already walking away. Whenever you're ready. Not pressuring, not persuading, not forcing, like all the others seemed to do with her. Forcing her into things that she wasn't ready for.

And yet here Rachel was, the person she thought would pressure her even more than the others, telling her to come back only when she was ready.

Quinn would be lying if she said that those three words didn't affect her and change her mind about certain things.

Because Rachel wasn't forcing her into something she didn't want to do at the moment, rather telling her that she would be welcoming her with open arms if she ever decided that she was finally ready to go back.

Whenever she was ready.

The next few days passed by without incident, and true to her word, Rachel didn't come back to pressure Quinn. Although sometimes Quinn wished that she would, because there was this deep longing she held for Rachel to talk to her and tell her that she was better than this.

Better than what she had become.

But Rachel would smile and give her a tiny wave whenever their eyes locked in the corridor, and little as it was, it was enough for Quinn.

Exhaling heavily, Quinn gripped the steering wheel of her car, staring at the second-floor window of Rachel's house. It was eight in the evening, and the lights in what Quinn assumed to be Rachel's bedroom were switched on. A smile twitched at her lips as she thought of what Rachel could be doing inside.

Singing, most likely.

The visit was completely unplanned, and Quinn had shocked herself when she realized where she was as soon as she stopped the car. But there were things she'd been dying to say to Rachel, ever since she walked out of the bleachers that day. The deep burn in her chest came back full force at the thought of Rachel's bright and beaming smile that broke through clouds of darkness.

No matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to convince herself that she didn't want Rachel in her life.

Jaw clenching and unclenching, Quinn turned off the engine and took her key, running a hand through her hair as she debated whether or not to continue with this unplanned and unknown visit.

She took deep breaths and hopped out of her car, striding towards the front door with purpose before she could convince herself not to push through with this. Swallowing thickly, she rang the doorbell, waiting for someone to open the door.

One of Rachel's dads opened the door, the one named Leroy, if she remembered correctly. His eyes widened in surprise, at her sudden visit or outrageous wardrobe, Quinn didn't know. But instead of slamming the door shut in her face, he smiled politely.

"You… must be Quinn," Leroy said, peering at her underneath his glasses.

Surprised, Quinn stood frozen before she nodded.

"Does Rachel know you're coming?" Leroy asked, opening the door a little wider.

"I- no, sir," Quinn answered, all sense of bravado suddenly disappearing with the blink of an eye.

"Well, I'm sure she wouldn't mind the visit. Please, come in."

Leroy stepped back and Quinn walked inside, taking a look around the simply decorated house. The walls were painted a dull yellow, frames and frames of family photos lining up the walls. Her eyes caught sight of a ten-year old Rachel Berry in a tutu, proudly holding up a trophy and her signature bright beam plastered on her face.

Quinn felt… warm, and oddly at home at the moment. The atmosphere was bright and cheery and filled with hope, just like Rachel.

It was no wonder then that Rachel always seemed to be happy, because it was a reflection of what she had in her own home. Something that Quinn and her parents didn't have.

Rachel had been raised with love and care, and the huge, grinning faces of her two dads, holding her up in the photos were evidence of that.

And instead of feeling jealous, Quinn felt happy for Rachel.

"She's in her room. Go upstairs, and it's the first room to the right," Leroy said, patting Quinn's shoulder before walking away.

Taking one last look at the photos, Quinn smiled and walked upstairs, then knocked on Rachel's door. Which, of course, had a gold star stuck at the top middle. The door opened, and Quinn watched as an expression of shock colored Rachel's face.

"Quinn? What-" Rachel squeaked suddenly as Quinn went inside, pushing her up against the door as she shut it close.

Rachel looked frightened and confused at the same time as Quinn shifted closer, their faces merely a hair's breadth away. The proximity and Rachel's scent intoxicated Quinn. Her hazel eyes held Rachel's brown irises, a tender look crossing her features as she simply stared at this girl that was trapped between her and the door.

"Quinn," Rachel breathed out, and Quinn swore that she could hear the diva's heart beating loudly against her chest.

Or maybe it was her own heart that was threatening to jump out of her chest, but she ignored it for the time being. This was the girl who cared about her deeply enough to go after her whenever she ran away. This was the only person that cared enough about her to stop her from doing things that she would regret in the foreseeable future. This was the girl that wasn't forcing her into something she didn't want at the moment.

And above all, this was the girl that made her feel things.

Finn was wrong when he said that she didn't feel anything anymore, because this girl – Rachel Berry – made her feel everything, even though at times she didn't want to feel them.

She leaned in closer, slowly, in case Rachel didn't want this. Waiting for small hands to place themselves on her chest and push her away.

But it didn't come.

Rachel simply looked at her, brown eyes bleeding with emotion that Quinn couldn't quite place at the moment, because it was dizzying. The closeness of their bodies, Rachel's warmth radiating and her soft and sweet scent making her lose control.

Until finally, their lips met. Quinn kissed Rachel with all that she had, feeling the world around her still as fingers curled around her leather jacket, tugging insistently.

Rachel moaned, one hand gripping the back of Quinn's neck and the other running through her wild, pink hair. Groaning softly, Quinn held Rachel's waist as she pressed her lips more forcefully, yielding into the warmth and brightness that enveloped her.

She was ready.

Ready to fall even more for Rachel, even if her heart might crack and break in the process.

Ready to go back to where she truly belonged – in the choir room, watching Rachel sing and dance her heart out. Not behind the bleachers, where she hid herself from the world and ran away from the one person that really saw her for who she was and never gave up on her.

Because God, Rachel was worth everything she had.

"Quinn," Rachel repeated breathlessly, her hands gripping the sleeves of Quinn's jacket.

"I'm ready to go back, Rachel," Quinn murmured, resting their foreheads together.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Rachel asked in a small voice.

Quinn nodded and took Rachel's hands, gripping them tightly with her own.

"Why did you kiss me?" Rachel asked softly.

"I'm tired of holding it all in. I've always-"

Quinn was cut off as Rachel pressed her fingers against her lips, all words dying in her throat as brown eyes gazed at her longingly.

"Give me time, okay? But I want you, too," Rachel mumbled and buried her face into Quinn's chest.

Quinn nodded and pressed her lips against Rachel's forehead.

When they were both ready.

They're lying down on Rachel's bed, the brunette on top of her as they kissed softly at first, turning into deep and passionate kissing. Quinn moaned as Rachel tugged on her lower lip, hands slipping underneath her shirt.

Glee club hasn't been absolute torture for Quinn, mostly because of Rachel.

The other members just stared at her like she grew a second head when she went back to blonde and started wearing her sundresses again. But Rachel held her hand all throughout the first few weeks in Glee club, and for Quinn, that was more than enough.

They've been dating for five months, and everyone in the club had accepted this new development.

Her breath hitched as she felt Rachel's hands inch higher, nails dragging against her skin. She craned her neck and sighed breathily as Rachel's lips attached to her neck, sucking and nipping on her skin. Gently, Rachel cupped her bra-clad breasts and squeezed, and Quinn moaned and keened into her touch.

Rachel was slow and careful in her movements, and Quinn appreciated that. Panting softly, Quinn looked up into dark brown eyes, pupils blown with arousal. Her skin burned with the need to be touched, and it scared her a little because she'd never felt this way before.

And yet, she was more than ready for that next step with Rachel.

Biting her lip, Quinn sat up and pulled off her shirt, took Rachel's hand and guided it towards the hook of her bra. Smiling in understanding, Rachel unclasped her bra and dropped it to the floor. Laying back on the bed, Quinn pulled Rachel with her and brought their lips together for a deep-burning kiss. Her lungs nearly gave out at the way Rachel was kissing her. Slow and sweet kisses that left her wanting more.

She gasped as Rachel's tongue licked a path down her neck and between her breasts. Grasping a handful of Rachel's hair, she bucked her hips, her arousal shooting straight down her core.

Moaning lowly, she took one of Rachel's hands and guided it underneath her skirt, heat pooling between her thighs. She kept Rachel's hand there and flicked her tongue against her earlobe, smirking as the brunette shivered above her.

"Q-Quinn, wait," Rachel panted as she removed her hand between Quinn's legs.

"Why? Don't you want me?" Quinn husked into her ear as she placed Rachel's hand on her clothed core again.

Rachel groaned and buried her face into Quinn's thick, golden hair, fingers rubbing the material of her cotton panties. "You have no idea. But are you ready for this?"

Quinn nodded, amazed at Rachel's self-control and concern. For all her life, no one bothered to ask her if she was ready for anything. Sex with Puck was a big mistake, and even though people often called her a cold-hearted bitch, it didn't mean that she didn't want her first time to be with someone who cared enough about her to ask if she truly was ready to be physically naked.

Not with someone who took advantage of her insecurities and got her drunk on wine coolers just so that her judgment would be clouded.

"Are you sure you're ready, Quinn? I don't want to force you into something you're not truly ready for. And I don't want you to regret letting me make love to you," Rachel rambled, eyes hesitant.

It should have sounded cheesy, but Quinn appreciated the fact that Rachel didn't call it sex or fucking. And the fact that she was asking over and over again if she was ready to take their physical intimacy to the next level only made Quinn trust and love her even more.

"I'm sure, Rachel. I want you," Quinn murmured, eyes dark with arousal as she rubbed against Rachel's fingers.

Rachel swallowed. "Okay. But tell me if you want to stop, and I will."

Smiling softly, Quinn nodded and kissed the corner of Rachel's mouth. She watched silently as Rachel unzipped her skirt and dragged it down her legs, exposing her thighs. Rachel tugged on the waistband of her panties, silently asking her for permission to take them off. Chest heaving, she nodded and lifted her hips, watching nervously as her last piece of clothing pooled at her ankles.

A gasp tore through her lips as Rachel sniffed her panties, feeling slightly embarrassed of the wet patch that coated the material's crotch. Her chest heaved, hazel eyes cast on Rachel's face that was flush with desire.

Rachel's stare was hungry, and Quinn felt her insecurities stab at her. She still had a few stretch marks and she wasn't entirely sure if she'd gotten rid of all her baby fat, but the way Rachel stared at her with so much love and longing managed to ease her fears. Smiling softly, Rachel shed all her clothes, leaving her naked like Quinn.

It was the first time they've seen each other fully naked, and the sight of Rachel's bronze skin, shiny with sweat, sent a spark of arousal down Quinn's body.

The look in Rachel's eyes was that of love mixed with a hint of desire, and it completely vanquished Quinn's nerves. It wasn't fueled with pure lust or the animalistic desire to just have sex with her and let her just be a notch on her belt, which was the way Puck looked at her.

In Rachel's eyes, she felt as though her body was something to be worshipped and explored, not something to play with and throw away after one night of sex.

She'd never been more ready in her entire life.

Spreading her legs, she allowed Rachel to settle between them as their heated skin touched. The physical contact made Quinn moan, circling her arms around Rachel's neck as they kissed passionately. Her moans were swallowed by Rachel's mouth, their bodies rocking against each other.

Breasts rubbed together and nipples grazed, and Quinn ran her hands across Rachel's back as their bodies glided against each other, bare skin touching bare skin.

Quinn closed her eyes at the pleasurable sensations that racked her body as Rachel touched every part of her, grazing, caressing, and fondling. Every nerve fiber was lit on fire as Rachel kissed and licked her skin, exploring uncharted territory.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked softly, nuzzling Quinn's neck with her nose.

"Y-yeah," Quinn moaned out as Rachel's fingers touched her thigh.

"I can be the bottom, if you want," Rachel offered.

Quinn sighed softly and shook her head. She was fine being laid out stark naked underneath Rachel, her need for control having slipped away.

"I'm fine, Rachel. I trust you, okay?" Quinn said quietly as she ran her fingers across Rachel's collarbone.

"Okay," Rachel said softly, fingers lingering on Quinn's thigh.

She kissed the corner of Rachel's mouth and spread her thighs, a small moan falling from her lips as Rachel molded their bodies together. Rachel was nothing but thorough in exploring her body, touching and pressing and kissing every inch of her skin. Quinn sighed as Rachel rubbed her arms, tongue trailing a warm and wet path down her stomach.

Every gentle caress set her skin on fire, a guttural moan rumbling in her throat when she felt Rachel's finger trace her folds. The sensations were pleasurable, taking her to a high she'd never known before. She didn't know how much she had been craving Rachel's touch until now, her body arching and keening into soft and gentle hands.

"Is this alright?" Rachel asked, her voice smoky and sultry, fingers rubbing Quinn's nether lips.

Quinn parted her lips and moaned, "Y-yesss!"

The sensations she felt were nothing short of overwhelming, her hips moving of their own accord as Rachel stroked her slit. Her breathing came out ragged, her moans rising in pitch as she submitted herself to the pleasure that assaulted her mind and body. Rachel's lips dragged against her skin, exploring every inch of her.

Each stroke of Rachel's fingers were careful and explorative, her body burning with the need to be touched everywhere. It made her dizzy, for Rachel to be so gentle and loving in kissing every part of her. When Rachel kissed her, she felt that everything in the world was alright. That she made the right decision by fully exposing herself to the brunette that made her feel everything.

And when she felt Rachel dip a finger inside of her entrance, a gasp tore through her lips, followed by a small moan as the digit slowly pushed inside of her. Rachel stopped when she was knuckle deep, allowing her to adjust to the intrusion.

It felt strange, but in a good way. She wasn't sure how her first time felt like, having been drunk and her senses numbed. But right now, she was sure that it felt good. Another moan fell off her lips, her walls clenching around the lone digit of her lover.

"How do you feel?" Rachel asked, her tone holding a hint of concern.

"I- it feels good," Quinn breathed out. "You can start moving now."

Rachel nodded and slowly pulled out her finger, then thrust back in. Quinn moaned and tangled her fingers in Rachel's hair, pushing her to her chest. Her throat rumbled as Rachel devoured her breasts, licking, sucking and nipping all over the soft mounds of flesh. She always felt that her breasts were small, but with the way Rachel paid attention to them, she felt that it wasn't the case at all.

Rachel made her feel beautiful and wanted, and not just for the sex. She felt wanted in every sense of the word, and Rachel always managed to vanquish her insecurities with a reassuring smile and a tender kiss.

Never using alcohol to get her drunk and make her feel good about her body with sex.

"I think- I need more," Quinn gasped as she felt Rachel's finger curling inside her.

A loud moan escaped her as she felt herself being stretched further by another finger. Cupping Rachel's face, she brought their lips together for a heated kiss, tongues sloppy as the brunette pumped faster and harder, cum gushing out of her sex.

Their bodies rocked against each other, and Quinn shuddered with each twist and curl of Rachel's fingers against her walls. Her body was racked with pleasure, her moans uncontrollable as she thrust back against Rachel's fingers. Closing her eyes, she focused on the mind-numbing sensations that her lover's fingers brought her.

Unconsciously, her muscles squeezed tightly around Rachel's fingers, her body arching off the bed, her lips parted in a loud scream as she felt Rachel suck on her clit. It was perfect. The way Rachel made love to her was perfect.

She groaned in displeasure as Rachel stopped licking her clit, only to be replaced by a content sigh when the brunette molded their bodies together, their nipples grazing. Craning her neck, she felt Rachel nip on her pulse point, and her pleasure intensified.

Her moans and the slick sounds coming from her sex filled the room, along with Rachel's deep sighs and groans against her skin.

"You're perfect, Quinn. I love you," Rachel murmured into her ear, and Quinn ran her hands across the diva's back. Their skin was shiny with sweat, the scent of sex permeating the heated air around them.

Rachel's eyes were soft as Quinn gazed into them, as though her fingers weren't inside of her and filling her perfectly. She felt loved and safe underneath Rachel, even being naked.

"I love you too," Quinn moaned, willing her eyes to stay open as Rachel hit a sensitive spot.

Her stomach coiled, lower belly fluttering as she felt a flurry of sensations. Like the way she felt when she and Rachel grinded through their clothes in their heated make-out sessions.

"I'm coming!" she suddenly shrieked, cum gushing out of her core in a steady stream, soaking Rachel's fingers and the sheets in the process. Her body convulsed, and Rachel held her close with one arm as her orgasm crashed over her.

"You're beautiful when you come," Rachel smiled as she rested their foreheads together.

Quinn blushed a deep red and wrapped her legs around Rachel's waist, pushing their bodies flush. Rachel giggled and kissed the corner of her mouth, and she smiled softly.

"You're beautiful too, you know?" Quinn whispered as she traced Rachel's cheekbones.

"Thank you," Rachel blushed. "Are you up for another round? I want to take full advantage of this night."

Quinn smiled and nodded, her eyes fluttering shut as Rachel crawled down her body.

For Rachel, she'll always be ready for more.

Quinn yawned and rubbed her eyes as she rolled over the bed, her lips turning into a soft smile as brown eyes met her gaze. Underneath the covers, she reached out for Rachel's hand, her fingers immediately finding the golden band that her wife wore.

"How long have you been awake?" Quinn asked, reverently running her thumb over the ring.

"A while. I couldn't get up because you look so beautiful and peaceful in your sleep," Rachel explained with a light giggle as her fingers locked onto Quinn's.

Quinn arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "Really? Is that the only reason?"

"You know how to read me so well, don't you?" Rachel smiled, shifting closer to Quinn.

"I could say the same about you," Quinn murmured, brushing away a lock of hair away from Rachel's face.

It was true. Rachel read her quite well and could tell that something was wrong simply by a shift in her posture or a flicker in her eyes. And she was glad for that, because she wasn't quite capable of expressing herself verbally.

"What's on your mind?" Quinn asked softly.

She watched as Rachel chewed nervously on her lip, but waited in silence for her wife to continue.

"I've just been thinking that… we've been married for three years now, and…" Rachel trailed off, and Quinn squeezed her hand reassuringly.

She had a clue as to where the conversation was going. After all, it was an inevitability, no matter how long it took.

"…I was wondering if you'd like to have a baby. With me. Only if you want to, of course. And if you're perfectly fine and ready for this next step. I just- I want to make sure you want a baby again. And- and you're not going to lose this one this time, because-"

Quinn cut off her wife's rambling by pressing their lips together, a smile spreading across her face as she pulled apart and saw Rachel's flushed face. The thought had occurred to her when they got married, and the fact that Rachel asked her first if she was ready to have another baby that she would finally be able to keep touched her in more ways than one.

Rachel never did ask her to do something she was uncomfortable with.

"Of course, Rachel. I'd love to have a baby with you," Quinn answered, a grin spreading across her face as Rachel squealed in delight.

"And there's one more thing. You can say no if you don't want to do it, but… I want you to carry our child. Seeing Beth the last time made me want a baby that looks like you. And- and I want him or her to have your eyes," Rachel whispered the last part, blushing deeply as Quinn stared at her with her warm, hazel eyes.

It felt like she was being given a second chance at something she never had before. To give birth and to be able to watch her baby grow. A chance to finally get things right. Something she hadn't done before when she got drunk and made a decision that was clearly clouded by the alcohol.

And now, she was sober. Sober and waking up next to Rachel Berry-Fabray every day of her life for the past three years. No alcohol to cloud her judgment, or make a rash decision about something she wasn't ready for.

No. This was Rachel, asking her again if she was ready.

And the way Rachel said our child made her heart flutter and soar in her chest. Their baby.

God, they were both going to be mothers.

How could she say no to that? How could she say no to the woman that was patient with her from the very beginning?

"Yes! I'd love to carry our baby," Quinn blurted out.

Rachel squealed and giggled and tackled Quinn, their laughter filling the entire room of their apartment.

She was going to be a mother. With Rachel.

"We're going to have a baby!" Rachel giggled, rubbing her nose with Quinn's.

Quinn laughed and nodded in agreement, holding Rachel close as they talked about how their future baby would look like.

If there's one thing she'll forever be grateful for, it's Rachel always asking her if she was ready. Never forcing, never pushing, and simply content to let her go at her own pace. And that was what saved her from her life becoming an even bigger mess.

All because of the first time she heard those three words under the bleachers all those years ago.

Whenever you're ready.