Author's note: I am so terribly sorry about the delay for the My knight and my warrior story! I just had a veerrry busy semester and I had writer's block regarding the next chapter. Great. /cries/ So I had posted this instead..sorry.
Hetalia does not belong to me! It's an AU of another world but still nased on My Knight my Warrior so spoilers unless you already figure it all out on that story!
Marcelo- Phil
Andres- 2p!Spain
Johnathan- Papua New Guinea
Alejandro- Mexico
Couples:
2p!America x Fem! Canada
2p! Spain x Fem!Romano
Australia x Indonesia
Scotland x Fem!England
In which Allen should have chose a different excuse...
"Papa, where do babies come from?"
Allen felt like his world is spinning in an attosecond per hour. His blood slowly freeze inside his body as sweat began to form in his forehead. Everything seem to have slowed down as he slowly processed what his son just said. Sweet mother of his salad, why that question!? He could answer how much an elephant weight is, what type of chemical is it to make a frigging chimera or whatever, anything but that!
Where is his Madeline when he needed her!? Oh wait, she's cooking but why him?!
Marcelo pouted as his father was unable to answer, papa is smart and a vegetarian isn't he? Mama said vegetables makes you smart. "Papa, sige na! Please? I wanna know how mama got my baby brother inside!"
'Damn, can't escape now...' Allen internally cursed as his son continued to stare at him. What story shall he used as an excuse for his son till he learns the whole accursed truth. 'Ugh, had to use that story...' he mentally shudders. Clearing his throat, he beckons his son to seat next to him. 'Here goes nothing...'
"Babies come from cabbages." he said bluntly, "When me and your mother want a baby, we get to do a special kiss and then a seed come out of..thin air. We plant it in the gardens and wait for the baby to come out." he finished as he internally wished for the whole Earth to swallow him..!
Marcelo's eyes widens as his mouth gaps at the newly processed information. Cabbages!? But papa eats cabbages!
"Well your father is rumored to eat babies.." Prussia said as he snickers "So be careful little boy~"
Suddenly Marcelo screams as he pushed his stunned father away, running out of the room.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! HALIMAW! CANNIBAL! TIKTIK! MAMA GET THOSE CABBAGES AWAY FROM PAPA! TITO GILBERT IS RIGHT! PAPA EATS BABIES!"
Madeline immediately drops her spoon. What did her son say?
Needless to say, Gilbert later receive a severe beating of a nail covered bat by an angry red eyed American. Ludwig sighs as he mumbles about getting a certain albino a tetanus shot.
In which Kyle should have chose a less violent manner...
Johnathan grins eagerly as he looked up to his frozen father.
"U-u-uh kindly repeat what ya said ankle biter?..." Kyle stammers as he reached out for his chair "I-I can't seem to understand.."
Johnathan laughs "Oh papa! I just asked where do babies come from!" he jumps up and down as he shook his father "COMEONCOMEON! TELL ME PAPA!"
'Ah crikey, looks like I have ta get creative...'
"Well you see mate, me and your mum had to..." he trailed off, glancing at his son's excited eyes as he tries to come up with a story "Make a ritual!" he burst out, surprising his son in the process.
'That's just mighty creative of you Kyle, ya bloody Native side is disappointed at you...ya big pommie!'
His son widens his eyes "What? A ritual? Mi no harim tok bilong yu (I don't understand you) papa..." a ritual?
"Y-yeah a ritual!" he forcefully laughs as he scratches his head "Me and your mom had ta.. bloody cut our arm off and lay our arms on the sacred tree stump and pray for the baby god. The baby god then comes, gives them new arms and merges the old arms to make a baby!"
'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID I JUST SAY!?' Kyle screamed internally in horror as he watches his son's sudden blank face. 'Make a ritual!? What is this? Caveman days!? Good job ya gubby! Now you scare the crap out of your own son!' Ugh! What he would do for the whole herd of kangaroos to just burst in a create a stampede! Why did Kirana had to visit her sister now!? Why did Johnathan asked him now!?
"Oh I see papa! Thank you!" Johnathan hugs his father before running off.
Later...
"KYLE!" Alice's voice rang out as she tries to flee from a child swaying a knife back and forth "WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID YOUR SON NEARLY CUT OFF MINE AND ALLISTOR'S WHOLE BLOODY ARM OFF!?"
"Stay still grandma! I want a new uncle!" :D
In which it's best for Andres should not give the talk at all...
Alejandro dropped his beloved taco.
"I know you are getting a bit older now hijo..." Andres drawled as he point his finger on the... informative images on his chart as his foster son practically had his colors drain from his face "But when a man inserts this and-"
"DIOS MIO I KNOW ABOUT THIS OKAY!" Alejandro screamed as he tries to get away from the Spanish man "I AM A TEENAGER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"
Andres clicked his tongue as he grabbed Alejandro's foot as he settles the boy in a chair, tying him up. "It pains me hijo to talk about this..unsanitary talk but you are a growing boy and you soon will find another woman who would want to spread her legs as you-"
"CÁLLATE CÁLLATE CÁLLATE CÁLLAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTEEEEE (Shut up)!" Alejandro shouts as he tries to looses the ropes around him.
'Hmm, maybe Alejandro is in the other team...' Andres mused as he stared at the scarred boy 'I should get another chart then..."
Andres then pulls down another chart. "So if there are two men, their genitals often gets inside of the-"
"HACEN que PARA (Make it stop)! I DON'T WANNA LISTEN!"
Alejandro represses the memory of this day, never to speak of it again. Andres is just amused by this while Lovina sighs as she mentally facepalms.