A/n: Please correct me if you find my grammar wrong, and if you find some errors, wrong spellings and mistakes feel free to correct me and I'll edit them right away. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, Oda-sensei is the one who owns it. I only know that I owned a Two Piece.

Genre: Humor/Crack

No Pairing and an Alternative Universe.

Summary: Never ask her Group of Friends for an advice if you're planning to court a certain Blue haired lady. As one of them would say, "If you want to ask my friend Vivi out, Hmmm, You need to deal with those Monsters beside her first. If you don't want to deal with them, I suggest that I can help you with that… but you need to pay 100,000 beli. Sounds good right? So deal?" AU: High school. No pairings. [Straw Hats crew, Luffy, Law, Ace, Sabo and Vivi]

Kohza knows he have this thing on a certain blue haired lady, Known by everyone as Vivi. He can't deny the fact that the first time she sits beside him in Economic class and she smiled at him? God knows how beautiful she is that day! And from that day, Kohza admire the beauty of his seatmate. He likes her even more when he learnt that she is kind and polite with everybody and he finds it very adorable.

The thing about Kohza is, as much as he wanted to confess to her. He didn't know a thing or two about Vivi. Yes, they are seatmates in Economic class. Sometimes they even shared opinions about the lesson they are discussing and will have some friendly chat while waiting for their Professor to arrive. Yes, she had introduced him twice to her Group of Friends but after that? Kohza doesn't know anything.

That's when Kohza decided to approach Vivi's Group of Friends after school. Maybe they can tell him what to do and maybe they can give him some advice too.

"What's up Kohza-bro?" Franky, One of Vivi's friends greets him as the guy gulped down his Cola. The others who saw him followed the greeting too.

"It seems that you want to talk about something, Kohza-san?" Robin, the ever observant lady asked him.

"Uh… Yeah." Kohza told the group. "Actually, there is."

"What is it?" Sanji, the ladies' man said as he puffed a smoke.

"It's about Vivi." He confided. "I like her."

Silence… It's a long silence for everyone after hearing a Confession from Kohza. Who declares his feelings for Vivi and it's not like they are shocked, they seem like used to it.

"We like her too." Said the little man Chopper who broke the silence and Usopp literally face palmed his self. Chopper noticed it and asked Usopp about it.

"Chopper that's not what Kohza meant." Usopp told Chopper because Chopper is way too far to understand what Kohza really mean.

"Ehhh?!" Chopper reacts popping his eyes while looking at Usopp. "Then do you know what he actually means?"

"Of course I know! The Great Usopp-sama knows what Kohza meant of liking Vivi. It's like the feeling of sailing across All-seas, climbing at the top of an Everlasting Mountains and saving once country because of the love I have for a Princess named Kaya." Usopp told Chopper and the little man finds Usopp's tall tales amazing and true.

"Kaya? Is she the girl from English Class?" Franky said out of the blue while looking at Usopp and amazed Chopper.

"Oh! Did I just hear a confession?" Zoro who just woke up from his little sleep happened to hear Kohza's confession and Usopp's tall tale. He yawned for a second and rubbed his eyes.

"Interesting, it's been a while." Robin muttered, a little bemused in that awkward situation.

Kohza is little confused for what Robin just said but didn't bother to ask. He's too nervous and felt a little embarrass. This is Vivi's friends we're talking about. Kohza felt a piercing eyes glaring at him suddenly.

'How dare him confess his love for our Vivi-chwaan~' Yes, indeed, it was Sanji. Although he gives up the thought of Vivi-chwaaan's candidacy in his Love interest list, still, He can flirt with her without getting busted by the Monsters.

"So do you need a SUUPEEER advice or what, Kohza-bro?" Franky asked him after the guy finished his Cola and sit down near Chopper and Usopp.

"I want to know a thing or two about Vivi." Kohza told them blushing.

"To keep it short you need information and an advice, I see." Robin stated and looked at Kohza as if the answer is too hard yet too easy to say. It's in between.

Vivi's group of friends exchanged some looks to each other, except for the little man Chopper who happens to be an innocent little one.

"The only advice I can give you is "Beware of the Idiotic Monsters", they are very hard to handle and they are over reacting too much." Zoro told Kohza, the first one who gave him an advice with a tapped on his shoulders as a sign of 'good luck'.

"Ah yeah! Prepare yourself too from some Sadistic Doctor…" Usopp said as he trembled in fears? Who could guess? Kohza doesn't have any single clue for what they're trying to say.

"Add to your list to buy a SUUPEEER large serving of meat if you want to bribe the Monsters. The chance of bribing is only 15% and that's the SUUPEEER highest percent of calming them down for a while." Kohza scratched his head, He can't understand Franky and what are they talking about?

Does Vivi have a Monster pet?

"I couldn't give you a careful advice, they are nice to me." Chopper with a big smile plaster on his face told Kohza. It can tell that Chopper didn't experience something like torture.

"The only advice I can give to you is to give up. Bring water with you, there's also a fire." Sanji with a depress tone told Kohza.

"A Sadistic Doctor, Two Fire Fists, and a bottomless pit of stomach… What a nice way to describe them?" Robin calmly said while laughing quietly, "Kohza-san, I suggest that you have to take precautions of Vivi's brothers."

Kohza's eyes grow larger. He can't believe what he just heard. The guys have been telling him about the Monsters and they are actually Vivi's brothers!

"Hi Kohza, What are you doing here? Vivi-chan's not here." Nami stated smiling while approaching the group.

Robin greeted Nami and told her about the Confession of Kohza's liking their beloved friend Vivi, asking for some advice too. Nami smiled mischievously as she confronted Kohza.

"If you want to ask my friend Vivi out, Hmmm, You need to deal with those Monsters beside her first." Nami said as she pointed the direction outside the Campus. Where Vivi is happily talking to four guys, Kohza now assumes that they are Vivi's brothers. "If you don't want to deal with them, I suggest that I can help you with that…" Kohza looked at Nami who wears a smile of a Demon Cat. "But you need to pay 100,000 beli. Sounds good right? So deal?"

Kohza is about to answer a big "NO" to Nami when Vivi calls his name.

"Kohza-san!" Kohza felt his body tingling. The sound of Vivi's voice calling his name is like a sound of the great Golden Belfry of Skypiea.

But when Kohza looked at the four guys behind Vivi, He knows he's in danger. If looks could only kill, Kohza knows he'll be dead by now for how the four guys behind Vivi stare at him.

"I heard that her First brother massacred hundreds of heart because they courted Vivi. The Second brother burned them to crisp afterwards. The Third brother however is a little kind enough to pulp them to pieces and crush their skulls like a piece of egg. And lastly, The Fourth brother throws a rage and eats them." Usopp is trembling while whispering these things to Kohza.

"Vivi, Could you kindly introduce us to your new friend?" Kohza assumed that the guy who just talked is the eldest brother. He's glaring at Kohza as if he's going to dissect all the inner parts of him.

"Kohza-san! This is my eldest brother Law, He's a great doctor!" Vivi introduced the eldest brother and Kohza was right! He can feel his knees trembling at Law's glares at him.

"This is my second brother Ace, He's a little bit tempered but he's nice." The trembling increase at Kohza's knees as another wave of glares from Ace shoots him.

"This is my third brother Sabo, He's the understanding one." Really? Sabo is the understanding one? Because Kohza can't see it right now. Sabo is looking at him as if he's going to pulp him into pieces until he produce juices.

"And last but not the least, my brother Luffy. He's the nicest of them though." Kohza really can't see where Vivi's descriptions of her brothers can be seen.

"I'm hungry, MEAT!" Luffy shouted which brings a lot of shivered through Kohza's spine.

It's obvious that the looks of the four is like they are going for a hunt tonight and they will make sure they will kill it.

"V-Vi-Vi-Vivi-chan… It's getting late. I'm going home, See you tomorrow!" After that Kohza left with his trembling knees.

"I wonder how many Vivi he had said." Ace literally laughed his ass off after saying that. The guy is scared at him and he didn't do anything yet. He didn't play a prank on him yet and the guy is already scared!

It was really a priceless reaction for Sabo. He laughed so hard too at the guy's reaction. While on the other side, Law and Luffy sighed for another reasons. Law doesn't get it why the guy is afraid of him and Luffy couldn't even get a chance to hoard some meat to Vivi's new found friend.

"Say guys… This time… What do you told to my new found friend Kohza?" Vivi with her raising eyebrows and hands on her hips asked her friends and probably conspires with her brothers.

"It was funny you know." Usopp couldn't hold it anymore and laugh together with Ace and Sabo.

"We can say that Law-san's sadistic face, Ace-san's natural glares, Sabo-kun's intimidating aura and Luffy being hungry made this little prank possible." Robin commented while smiling at Vivi before she reads her book again.

"We just told him how Monster-like your brothers are," Zoro said honestly while crossing his arms and looking at Vivi. "And that's the truth." Because believe it or not, before Zoro joins the group he experience a lot of Idiotic, Demon-like torture from Vivi's brothers and he doesn't want to remember or talk about it anymore.

"Yeah! Remember when you introduce me to your brother and I need to treat Luffy for a single lunch worth of my one month allowance." Usopp said with his teary eyes. He can't forgive Luffy for what he had done that day. He starved in a month during Lunch breaks.

"And the time when Ace sets fire at my Kitchen and ate all the food in the storage room with Luffy and Sabo? My shitty old geezer scolds me for that." Sanji said while remembering the day he invites Vivi for a lovely Lunch and his brothers came with her.

"I can't forget the time Law-bro wants to study my body and my fondness to Cola. You're SUUPEEER creepy that time Law-bro." Franky said and posed with his signature pose.

"Law is nice to me and give me a lot of sweets all the time. He also compliments my medical skills. Ace finds me cute and cool while Sabo told me I am amazing. Luffy plays with me all the time, and all of that doesn't make me happy you idiots!" Chopper told them while wiggling and dancing happily.

"You're obviously happy…" Usopp commented to Chopper's wiggling and dancing.

Robin and Nami laughed at the scenes and Vivi sighed in defeat. Surely, Vivi is mad but her friends are really that bored to the point they scared another potential friend and Kohza's at fault too, He approached them! For crying out loud!

And everyone joined in and seriously? Even if her four brothers didn't plan anything with them today, it went pretty well… as always. Maybe she'll just apologize to Kohza tomorrow.

This story doesn't make any sense at all… I just thought of it out of the blues so if you find this interesting, Please review. Thank you!