I just rediscovered this in my notes/ideas for the '4 times Sherlock cried in front of John' series. I initially didn't want to post this; I believe because Sherlock's reaction was based more on Benedict's performance as Little Charles in August: Osage County, when that specific character breaks down. But I finally decided that I'd post it and see what people actually thought of it.

I think this is sort of a written version of how I expected Sherlock to feel after the restaurant scene. Sherlock was so excited to see his friend and John attacked him. Of course, I see John's point of view also, but I felt that I would write this.

I quite enjoyed writing this, I think that's because I feel more comfortable when writing descriptions, particularly descriptions of human emotions. I often find I can't do that when writing for Sherlock.

Obviously, Sherlock is rather out of character in this. And I'm sorry its so short.

Sorry for any mistakes.

Tears

"I don't know what to do, John!" The admission surprised the ex-soldier as he regarded his friend, watching as the distraught detective backed against the wall, his frame bent forwards slightly, his hands instinctively shooting up to tug at his dark curls. "I've apologised." Sherlock elaborated, his face holding a look of anguish, a look John knew for a fact that he would not allow anyone else to see. "I thought that's what you were supposed to do." John smiled softly, realising through this outburst that the man had actually been listening to and taking note of what he had been saying to him. "I thought - I," Sherlock's voice cracked as he tripped over his words, "I thought you'd be happy to see me."

"Sherlock," John's expression softened as he sighed, "I am happy to see you." John watched his friend as the detective shook his head, his trembling left hand moving from his hair and down his face so that his forefinger was resting over the philtrum that trailed from his nose to his upper lip. Sherlock's tongue darted out momentarily to wet his lips. "I am." John enunciated the words with a nod of his head. "Jesus, Sherlock, I'm ecstatic that you're back. What I'm upset about," he watched the man slowly close his eyes, as though waiting to be shouted at, "is that you did it in the first place." Sherlock reopened his eyes; their gaze locked as he looked up. "You let me grieve for you, Sherlock. For two years."

"I don't know how to make this better." Sherlock admitted, his left hand resting over his mouth as though he was going to be sick, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Sherlock," John stepped forward, his heart aching as he witnessed his friend's thin form (thinner than John remembered) tense painfully at the action, like the man was mentally preparing for the punch that never came. Instead, John reached up, gently placing his right hand on Sherlock's left shoulder, squeezing lightly and he watched in horror as the innocent action caused his friend to break. His face paled slightly and he leant further forwards, trying to be as close to John as he could.

"I'm sorry!" Sherlock choked, his entire body shaking; his face crumbling as his strength seemed to flow out of him with the warm tears, he fell into John.

"Sherlock, no." John immediately caught his friend, trying to soothe him. He instinctively wrapped his arms around his thin frame, a lump growing in his throat as he felt just how thin the man was whilst supporting his weight. "Sherlock, sit down." John lowered him, helping him sit on the floor of 221B Baker Street; John realised suddenly how close the pair had been to the doorway, like Sherlock was preparing to flee. The doctor dropped beside him, cradling him to his chest and rocking slightly, much like someone would calm a baby.

"Oh, Sherlock," John cooed as his friend sobbed against his chest, his fluffy beige jumper entangled in his thin, pianist fingers as the sobs wracked his frame. John stayed, his legs resting in a triangle position as he leant up against the wall, his friend slowly crying himself to sleep in John's embrace.

Mrs. Hudson found them three hours later, asleep on the floor in one another's embrace.

Thank you for reading. Please, let me know what you think.

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