Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the setting.

Tranquility on Olympus is like a crystal glass. Extremely fragile. And Hermes, being the god of mischief, just had to ruin it, even if it wasn't intentional.

It was one of those days, all of the Olympians had gathered in the throne room for no particular reason, and they were each sitting on their own thrones, attempting a shot at entertaining themselves. In other words, they were bored out of their minds, and positively itching for a good argument. That of which, a certain god proposed.

"Do penguins have knees?" Hermes asked no one in particular, looking up from his book about sea life in Antarctica (which everyone wondered about, you would expect Poseidon to be wielding a book about such a thing).

"Mm," Apollo hummed from his seat beside him, glancing up for a moment to assess the problem before saying, "Google it."

"No, Google doesn't work. Use Bing." Demeter said.

Apollo looked at her accusingly, "What? Bing sucks."

Demeter glared at him, "Excuse me?"

"Bing sucks. Google is much better." Hades said. He had been praying for a chance to challenge Demeter all week.

"Oh bull, everyone knows that Bing is dominant." Ares said, slapping down his weapons catalog.

"And just what is your definition of 'everyone' cause last time I checked I have never, ever, heard that Bing is better than Google." Athena said, standing up straight and planting her hands on her hips.

Ares stood as well, giving her a deadly look, "You wanna challenge me on this?"

"Darn straight." She said. She crossed her arms and faced him.

That's when the yelling started.

"Bing!"

"Google!"

"Bing!"

"Google!"

"BING!"

"GOOGLE!"

Hermes began to shrink back in his throne, regretting the fact that he had even opened his mouth.

"Oh puh-lease, who would use Google?" Ares said, "I mean, it's like a woman, you start typing and it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence!"

Aphrodite, who had been sitting content on her throne watching the dilemma, stood slowly, giving Ares a look that could kill. But instead of yelling, or shouting, or even kicking him in the balls (apparently she valued them) she spoke in a deadly calm voice.

"If Google is like a woman, then Bing is like a man. Always bragging about how great they are, but when we give them a chance they always manage to screw it up."

Everyone in the room began to snort and giggle as Ares opened and closed his mouth like a fish, someone even mumbled under their breath "Burn…."

"Although that was indeed a rather amusing play there, Bing's still better." Said Artemis, who was lounging back in her seat, twisting a piece of her hair.

Apollo gasped and laid a hand to his chest, "You traitor!"

Hermes frowned, "You don't even use the internet."

"Oh please, I knew Britney Spears shaved her head practically before it happened."

Apollo threw his head back in frustration, "That doesn't mean Bing is better!"

The yelling started again.

"Bing is so much better than Google! It has better results!"

"Oh yeah, because I just love looking at a map of Peru every time I put spaghetti in the Bing search bar."

"At least Bing doesn't give you fifty thousand possible results!"

"And it doesn't finish your sentences!"

"Well at least Google is less confusing!"

"Bing is better!"

"It's a knock-off!"

"The knock-offs are always better!"

"No they're not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Although penguin waddle they do in fact have knees, they are simply not visible due to the thick feathers and extra skin that keep the penguin warm."

The whole room went silent. Everyone slowly turned to look at Dionysus, who was looking down at his phone.

He looked up to find everyone staring at him, "What?"

"What browser did you use?" Apollo asked him quietly.

Dionysus swallowed, looking very much like a cornered rabbit surrounded by hungry coyotes.

"….Google."

And there you have it, my brain on a silver platter. The idea itself belongs to my brother, 75Check57 (Please check out his story Body Mishaps) but the plot is entirely mine. I'm sorry for those who prefer Bing, but I'm a Google girl at heart. I hope you enjoyed this dumb little thing, or whatever it was.
-PoisonBones