For the second time that night, she woke up completely disoriented. It was dark. She looked for light, but only found empty air. Had someone called her name? She couldn't catch her breath to ask.

"Callie?"

Jude. Jude was here, too. But, where exactly was here? It took her several more seconds to determine that she had come dangerously close to performing a headstand off the side of her bed. She sat up, heart pounding from blurred images she didn't want to try and bring into focus.

Light flared behind her still squinting eyelids. She took a breath, and then another. "Jude?"

"Hey." She could just make him out, propped up across from her in Mariana's bed. Had he… Yes, he had totally taken her pillow. "Callie, are you okay?"

"What?" Her throat did a strange sort of hiccup halfway through the word.

"You were crying, thats why I woke you up."

"Oh." She didn't know what to say. Sorry felt like the best option, but that wouldn't do anything for the wounded look slowly creeping across his face. She settled for a half hearted joke. "Mariana says I do that sometimes."

"It's okay, I cried too."

"You did?"

"Yeah, at the hospital. But Abby and John and Lena were there, and we had hot chocolate." He hesitated. "I wish they'd told me I was coming to your house."

"Do you know what time it is?" She had stopped listening after 'hot chocolate,' too distracted by her own overwhelming relief. Everything would be all right now, because Jude was all right.

"Yeah," he pulled something small and phone shaped out from under the covers. "It's 3:36."

She laughed, confused when he didn't join in. "Oh my god, where'd you find that?"

"Here, on the desk. I think you left yours in my bathroom."

He remembered that? She sagged back on her elbows, sobering. Jude was a far cry from the pale, half-awake boy that Mike had helped to bed a few hours ago, but it had been stupid of her to presume he was unaffected.

"Do, do you wanna talk about anything?" She'd tried to keep her tone light, but he immediately tensed, shoving his phone back under the blankets.

"What did we do?"

"What do you mean?" Her voice came out hoarse, but thankfully steady.

"To Janet? Why, why did she do that to herself. We came in her room to talk about pizza, and she was okay, but then…"

She was selfishly glad when he stopped talking. In spite of herself, she didn't think she was prepared to hear what other details Jude undoubtedly remembered. Could he still smell the blood? Did he know he'd been the one screaming, or did he think that had been Janet, too?

She shivered. "I don't know what happened, bud. I'm sorry." Except she wasn't.

Jude took a long time to reply. When he spoke, his tone was thoughtful. "Maybe it had something to do with the rabbit."

"The r-rabbit?"

"Yeah, maybe it gave her a bad memory. You know, like how dad's knife does to you, so I have it.."

"And you're very careful with it, right?" God, she'd sounded like Stef just now. The knife in question was old and basically broken. She took a deep breath, staring down at her bedspread. "This is all my fault, isn't it?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but she knew Jude would hear every word.

"No, it's whoever gave her the toy."

"I gave it to her."

Jude rolled his eyes. "Stop it, Callie."

She desperately wished she could follow his logic, but Callie knew what she'd seen. Janet had been fine, maybe even a little cheerful when they'd come in. Unbidden, her mind flashed on Janet's face as she'd closed her bedroom door, half obscured by hair, but unmistakably tear streaked. No, everything had gone wrong when Callie had pulled out that stupid stuffed animal, and she was slowly beginning to suspect why.

Apparently done with the discussion, Jude rolled on his stomach, shoving several decorative pillows to the floor. "Why do you think John and Abby wanted me to come here?"

"I dunno, maybe 'Cause I'm here?"

Yeah, maybe. I just wish I could have stayed at the hospital, y'know?"

No, she didn't know anything. Since when could her brother willingly stand to stay in hospitals? Who was this person? "They probably just wanted you to sleep in a real bed," she was relieved to hear her mouth say.

"Guess so. Abby says they're gonna come over in the morning."

"Okay." She pulled up her blankets, suddenly feeling exhausted. She should say something about not texting people in the middle of the night, but all she could manage was, "think you'll be able to sleep some more?"

There was a long silence, but she couldn't force her eyes back open. "Do you mind if I keep the light on?" He asked eventually, sounding much further than three feet away.

"No, go ahead." She rolled toward the wall, listening to the soothing sounds of him typing out another text.

XXX

"Callie."

"Hmm?"

"Callie!"

"What?" She sat bolt upright, opening her eyes to bright sunlight.

"I smell pancakes." Her stolen pillow slammed into her stomach. "Wake up!"

There was no way it could possibly be morning. "It's a lie, go back to sleep."

"No it's not."

"Fine. Go check it out."

There was silence for long enough that she started to believe he'd actually taken her advice. Then: "I'm scared."

That got her sitting up. "Why?" He shook his head, eyes firmly on the carpet. "Okay, stupid question, sorry."

"It's not stupid. Brenda says it helps to say what scares us, but…"

She forced herself to push back the blankets, wrapping a sleep heavy arm around him. "That's okay, Monkey. I feel like that all the time."

His head jerk against her shoulder. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." She nodded, even though he couldn't see. "C'mon, let's go get breakfast."

By the time they got downstairs, Jude was no longer hiding in her shoulder, but neither was he smiling. That was fine with her, she wanted nothing more than to go back to bed for as long as possible. Not even the scent of bacon was enough to perk her up, though it seemed to be doing the trick for Jude.

"Morning, didn't think you'd be the first ones up." The unfamiliar voice nearly made her jump, until she recognized Mike, harmlessly holding a spatula. "Hey, it's Jude, right?"

"Yeah." She'd expected him to coward further, but he seemed excited. "You're Brandon's dad."

"Good guess. You can call me Mike."

"Okay. Do you want some help?"

"Sure, you can beat me some more eggs."

Well, that was easy. She glanced longingly in the direction of the living room. If Mike was out here, then the couch was free, but probably still made up. She spent thirty seconds feeling guilty, but the lure of blankets was too strong. She gestured to Jude that she was leaving, but he didn't seem to notice, utterly involved in watching Mike mix batter.

She fell asleep to the sounds of frying pancakes. Dimly, she was aware of more people coming downstairs, laughter in the kitchen and the smokey smell of coffee.

"Please don't tell me you ended up staying down here all night again?" Callie pried opened leaden eyelids to see Lena, already fully dressed. The coffee smelled closer — oh god, she had a cup in her hand. Lena started to say something else, but she was fixated.

"I get the picture." Lena laughed, handing over the mug. "Careful, don't spill!" She nearly did, only coming up for air once half the contents was gone. "Rough night, huh?" Fingers stroked hair off her forehead, and she sighed, allowing her eyes to close again.

"Kinda." Reluctantly, she moved her feet so Lena could sit down. Her shirt looked soft. Callie blinked rapidly, trying forcibly to wake up, even though all her body wanted was to sink sideways into her shoulder.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get some real sleep? It's still early, especially by teenaged standards."

What day was it? She shook her head, absently prodding at a burnt bit of her mouth. Oh, shit. "Tell me it's not Friday?"

"Why?" Lena took her mug back, to her deep displeasure.

"I have to go to work," she almost moaned.

"Oh, honey, no. I'll call them right now and—"

But she was shaking her head, already stumbling to her feet. "No, it's happy hour weekend, I can't call out."

"Are you going somewhere?" They both turned to see Jude hovering in the doorway, holding a plate of pancakes.

"Only for a little while. Hey, are those strawberries?" She made to swipe one, but he ducked away, not even pretending to smile.

"Where?"

"Just to work."

"Right now? But John and Abby are coming over."

"They are?" She and Lena said in unison, and jude blushed.

"Um, yeah, sometime after breakfast I think. She said they'd call first. Also Bill's coming too." He said that last part in a rush, and Callie felt her entire body tense.

"I'm sure he only wants to ask you some questions." Lena put a hand at the small of Jude's back, and Callie relaxed as he leaned into it. "C'mon, let's go finish those in the kitchen." Lena caught and held her eyes, wordlessly beckoning her to follow, but she looked away, biting down hard on her lip.

When they were gone, she stumbled in the direction of her room, feeling like crying. Lena's coffee was heavy and sour in her stomach, and now the smells of breakfast were making her nauseous instead of envious.

"Hey, sweets, where are you going? The pancakes are the other way." Stef intersected her halfway up the stairs, decked out in Snoopy pajamas. The shear surprise of it shocked a laugh out of her, and Stef smiled.

"Sorry, Snoopy, I have to work." Oh god, she even had matching slippers with the stupid bird sidekick on them.

"No you don't."

"What?" She stopped with a foot on separate steps. "How?"

Stef just kept grinning. "I have my ways."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did Stef not think she was responsible enough after last night? Had she, like, called Mary Anne up and gotten her to fire her on the spot?

"Why are you looking at me like that? You still have to go in at noon."

"Oh." The panic fled as quickly as it ha come, and she sagged against the railing, feeling stupid and rung out. Stef was just being nice, and she was acting crazy. Again.

"All right, you've got no more excuses, pancake time." Stef put an arm around her shoulders, not giving her much choice in the matter. "I'm sorry to say these won't be as good as mine, but Mike knows a thing or two."

"Really? 'Cause he was telling Jude earlier that he's the master and you were just his grateful student."

"Oh-ho-ho, was he now? We'll have to see about this." Stef had just steered them in the direction of the kitchen when the doorbell rang. "Hold that thought."

Stef opened the door to an awkward looking John, dressed in last night's clothes. "I'm sorry to drop in like this. Abby was gonna call, but our phones are both dead…"

His voice faded into unimportant static . Callie was suddenly too busy staring over his shoulder at her social worker. "What, your phone die too?"

"No problem, come on in." Stef easily overrode her retort, and Callie couldn't decide whether she was sorry. The next ten minutes were a confusing blur. Mike hustled a half asleep Jesus and an angrily protesting Brandon out the door. He tried to take Mariana, but she somehow convinced her moms to let her stay with only a look. Callie found herself somehow alone in the kitchen, numbly making coffee while strained small talk filtered through to her. Jeez, she'd forgotten how much she hated Bill's laugh.

Stef crept in, now in jeans and a haphazard ponytail. "How we doing?"

"Why is he here?"

"Hey, watch the tone." Stef reached for the coffee pot, and Callie waited several seconds before releasing her own grip. "We are no fans of the patriarchy in this house, but you are still gonna be respectful in there, got it?"

"Fine." She turned toward the door, intent on getting to Jude. Stef didn't know anything about respect. She couldn't know that every time Callie saw Bill, she almost always ended up in a new home by nightfall. It didn't matter how she behaved now, Bill had come here with his mind fully made up.

"Hey, Callie Joanne." Hands landed on her shoulders, and she made a sound, half hiss, half sob. "Look at me." Stef didn't force her to turn, but neither did she relinquish her hold. "Nothing is going to happen to you in there, I promise."

"You can't do that!" She spun around in spite of herself, not sure if she was panting from anger or shock. They stared at each other for a long moment. "You know you can't," she said, more quietly.

Stef's stare didn't waver. "I don't have to do anything, sweets. I know Bill, and I trust that he's on our side."

Well, that made one of them. She dropped her eyes, shifting from foot to foot. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Stef sighed, picking up the coffee pot for a second time. "We'll discuss this later."

That was what she thought. Callie felt guilty for being a bitch, especially when she'd be gone so soon, but it might be better this way. Bad luck followed her like a curse, and as long as Stef and Lena tried to help, their family would be caught in the crossfire.

XXX

It was only as they were walking into the living room that Callie realized she was still in her pajamas. She put on her best barista smile as all eyes turned in their direction, but she could still feel her cheeks beginning to burn.

"Coffee?" Stef attempted to break the tension, but no one reacted. Callie wondered what kind of conversation they'd interrupted.

Abby had apparently arrived sometime during the general chaos, and she offered Callie a tired smile. "Hi, honey, we brought your things back." It wasn't until she saw it that Callie Recollected leaving her purse behind, and she surveyed the contents quickly. Everything was there except her phone, but before she could begin to panic, Abby was offering that, too. "It might need a new case."

Might was an understatement, her current one was completely cracked down the right side. The phone itself seemed thankfully unharmed, and even had a bar of battery left. She glanced down her missed call list, feeling her stomach twist uncomfortably when she saw at least five from Brandon.

Abby was still speaking, something about finding her phone on the bathroom floor. She tried to listen, but got distracted by Caroline, toddling laboriously between the couch and coffee table. "Bun!" she trilled when she saw Callie looking, sucking happily on a floppy ear.

"Is that yours, too?" John was watching her watch the baby. "I found it last night."

"No, it's Janet's." Jude's voice drew everyone's attention. He was almost fully hidden from sight, crouching behind an armchair. She wanted to go to him, but there were too many bodies in the way. "She got that toy when we lived together before."

"You lived together before?" Abby demanded.

"Why weren't we informed of this?" John roared at the same second, glaring daggers at Bill.

"I thought you knew!" Bill protested, only in social work speak. She took advantage of his bureaucratic spluttering to crawl across the floor to Jude's side.

"You didn't tell them about living with Janet?"

Jude shrugged. "I thought everybody knew." He dropped his voice, leaning in close. "I thought maybe Janet picked our house 'cause I'm there."

"Monkey, you know no one ever gets to pick where they go."

"You did."

"What?"

"You liked Stef, and now you're living here."

"Right, but that's not because…"

"Hey!" Stef was still standing in the doorway, and her raised voice put an immediate end to all side conversations. "Let's not argue about who told who what. Trust me, there will be plenty of time for that later." When no one moved to contradict her, she sat down close to Mariana, dropping a quick kiss on the side of her head. "Sure no one wants coffee?"

"I'd love some, thank you." Bill had a bandage on the underside of his chin. God, couldn't he even shave himself correctly? Still, his actions lead to all the adults accepting cups, which calmed things down significantly.

Feeling more than a little childish, Callie crawled out from hiding, watching as Mariana made faces at the baby. Stef had defused that situation like it was her job — which, hello, it was. If she could do that, then everything just might work out after all.

"Is Janet dead?"

Jude's question plunged the room back into silence. "No, honey, of course not. We told you that last night, remember?"

"Okay." She hated Jude's ability to erase emotion from his tone, mostly because she knew it came directly from her.

John cleared his throat. "Janet needs a lot of help right now, bud. We're going to make sure she gets it, but that means some things have to change."

"Change how?" Jude had stood at the word 'bud', and he stepped slowly toward the couch.

The room waited expectantly for John to continue, but he merely shot Abby a helpless glance. When she started to cry, Callie felt herself break out in a cold sweat.

"The Lockhart's have asked me to look for an emergency placement," Bill said, when it became clear neither of them were going to speak.

A scream threatened to bubble up from the back of her throat. Inexorably, her gaze flick to Stef, searching for the spark of anger that had powered her in the kitchen. Had Stef known all along? Had she lied just to make her behave? When their gazes locked, Callie knew she hadn't.

"I thought you were going to keep me?" Jude's voice was raw, barely above a whisper. She tried to catch his eye, but he was staring at John.

Oh, honey, we were — we will." Abby tried to put a hand on his back, but Jude danced away. "We just need to get everything straightened out."

"I can help." Jude's voice was high with panic and impending tears. This could not be happening. It was supposed to be her who was sent away, not him. Not again.

Fingers inclosed her own, and Callie turned to find an ashen Mariana. "It's okay," she mouthed, even as her lip quivered. Callie shook her head, trying to pull her hand back, but Mariana only squeezed harder.

"Is there a reason he can't stay here?"

"I don't want to stay here!" Jude was yelling before Lena had finished the question. "Please, don't make me stay here!" He rushed at John with brimming, desperate eyes. "I want to be with you and Abby and Caroline. Please, please!"

John opened and closed his mouth several times, before abruptly surging forward and clasping Jude to his chest. She wasn't sure which one of them started crying first, all she knew was that she had to look away. There was a strange ringing in her ears, and she belatedly realized she was holding her breath. Mariana dropped her hand, and Callie looked over just in time to see her lay her head in Stef's lap.

She stumbled to her feet without quite knowing why. Bill stood too, putting out a hand. "Callie, why don't we—"

"Don't touch me." She had wanted to yell, but the order came out breathy and terrified. Some undefined emotion flickered over Bill's face. It looked like surprise, but Callie knew better.

She raced for the stairs, ignoring at least two people calling her name. In Mariana's room, she dressed haphazardly, only pausing to find her badge. Thank god for insane promotions. At work, no one would care if she was two hours early. Her only expectation would be to make strong coffee and stupid small talk. An hour ago, that had seemed pointless. Now, it sounded like heaven.

She eased into the hall, half expecting to find someone waiting, but all she heard were muted sobs. With every instinct screaming for her to go the opposite direction, Callie made a deliberate path to the front door.

Her baby brother was losing everything, and she was running away. God, what was wrong with her?

He doesn't want you anymore, said the part of her mind in charge of this frantic escape attempt. Get the hell out, before you make everything worse.

She obeyed, slipping silently through the front door, too cowardly even to say goodbye.