if something is bound to happen,

it

will

happen.

in the

right

time.

with the

right person.

and for

the best

r

e

a

s

o

n

.

.

I can't breath.

This is it, right? This is supposed to be it! This is supposed to be the best day of my life, the day I've been looking forward to ever since I was a little girl.

But it's not.

It's nothing like the stories say.

It's not, it's not it's not!

I can't breath.

My thoughts, they're all jumbled together into this big mess off chaos and I can't make anything out anymore.

Honestly, a part of me still doesn't believe it. Did I really do that? Did I walk out on him and everyone else? Why did I do it in the first place? I don't know. Did I love him? If I did, I wouldn't be crying here right now, would I?

My heart.

It hurts, a lot.

Like that time when they laughed at me about my forehead. Only a hundred times worse. Is this the pain of a broken heart? Was I in love in the first place? I think I was in love with the idea of love.

I've always been like that, haven't I? Let my heart lead the way.

And now that treacherous thing has betrayed me and I'm sitting here, barely able to breath. Is this what dying feels like?

I never would've thought heartbreak could feel so real, so physical, so lethal

But I loved him, didn't I? I loved him. But I wasn't in love with him. And it took me all the way to the altar to realize.

And I just - I just ran off! I ran off! And now he probably hates me.

I hate me too.

I can't breath.

I think people are looking at me, because the loud subway station has turned awfully quiet since I've arrived. I would stare too, if I saw a woman in a wedding dress cry her eyes out on the bench at the subway. Maybe they left at the sight of me.

The problem with me, is that I don't think! I never think! I'm so stupid! I'm useless and worthless. I can't even make myself happy - let alone someone else. Who wants to get married after five months? I do. I thought I wanted to.

And why? Just because he managed to make me feel butterflies. Because I cared and because I'm growing old.

Indeed. I was in love with the idea of love.

I hoped I'd grow to care for him more once we'd be married.

But good old Sakura Haruno ran off right before reaching the altar.

Priceless, is it not?

I used to always watch these overly romantic movies and hopehopehope that one day I'd find that perfect guy and be in love and get married and live happily ever after. Was I so desperate for that, that I didn't even think my decision through?

My heart hurts more.

I can hear myself cry now, too.

Damnit! And I was so determined to keep quiet!

Useless, aren't I?

I wonder what Mom and Dad are going to say to me when they see me. I bet they'll be very mad. I hope they are. I deserve that.

In love with the idea of love. That's what I was.

I can't breath.

I untangle my hands from my hair, wipe away the tears and sweat with the back of my hand and wipe it at my dress. I might as well make good use of it. It's that big, ballroom kind that I used to adore as a kid. It has a sweetheart neckline and multiple layers from the waist down. A Belle- dress, my Mom had called it. Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I used to love that Disney movie, it's still my favorite out of all of them.

I brush the strings of hair that've escaped my half-up hairdo aside.

I regret it the moment the action is done. Now I can see what's going on around me.

Everyone is indeed staring.

I must look terrible. My make-up must be all over the place - and god, my hair must look like a birds nest! I'm surprised they're staring rather than running away. But they aren't cowards like I am. I am a coward. So I run away from my problems. I envy them for that; for not running away, I mean.

And again, my heart hurts.

It gets hard to breath again.

I want to clench my chest, try to ease it to make the pain go away, but I don't let myself. I want to feel it; the pain. The pain of heartbreak and the pain of uncertainty and fear.

I'm going to go home, grab a Ben and Jerry's, watch Beauty and the Beast and cry my eyes out.

Yes, that's what I'm going to do.

I shouldn't care about what mother says. I'm twenty-three - so what? I shouldn't care about her opinion. I mean, why does she want me to get married in the first place? And I'm not old! She keeps saying I'm old, but I'm not!

I shouldn't care.

But I do.

Of course I care. She's my Mom. And I love her, so of course I care. I want her to be happy.

But I want to be happy too.

And I don't think I love her happines more than I love mine.

If I did, I'd be at my wedding right now, and not here.

"Rough day?"

"Very." My voice cracks horribly.

I look to my right, only now realizing that someone's actually talking to me.

I'm not a very vain person, really, I'm not.

But seeing how handsome this person is, reallyreallyreally makes me want to stroke my hair and wipe off the black streaks that I'm sure are running down my cheeks.

This thing is the most handsome thing I've ever met.

"I know the feeling," he says, turning his face slightly to look at me. His eyes don't widen, he doesn't stiffen - he stay perfectly calm, as if I look not the slightest bit strange.

"Really?" I ask him.

He smiles, very subtly and nods. It's only now that I notice his rather different clothing. He's wearing a uniform, black slacks and a black blouse, badges stitched onto it, a hat in his left hand. He is a cop. He looks very calm, too; his right arm resting casually on his right leg, legs slightly spread and a little hunched over so he can look at me. If I didn't know any better I'd say we were two friends having a casual conversation.

But we don't know each other.

I'm certain I wouldn't forget someone looking like him.

"Are you waiting for the subway... Miss...? I take it you're still a Miss?"

"Yes," despite my horrible mood I laugh - I'm surprised that I even have the energy to laugh. "Yes, I am."

"When we got a call about a woman scaring all the people away at the subway station, I wasn't expecting this." He slightly raises his eyebrows, turns to look at me.

"But I got the scary part going down, right?" I say, laughing bitterly and looking away - in shame - to stare at the dirty pavement.

"Not at all, Miss." And when I look back, he smiles.

I've always been good at figuring people out; knowing whether they lie or not. I can see by the way their tone slightly raises, their nose scrunches, their eyebrows raise. But with this man, I cannot. His face is perfectly set. It scares me. The unknown has always scared me as much as it excites me.

But suddenly, I feel myself able to breath again.

.

.

Quick one with officer!sasuke because I really felt like it! Not proof-read so sorry for any mistakes!