Kurokawa Hana's earliest vivid memory of her mother leaving her and her father.

She remembers stretching out her chubby toddler fingers and grasping at the woman's skirt, screaming and crying and begging her not to go. Breath rich with the stench of alcohol hits her as her mother tells her to let go of her skirt and the adult's waving of her hands knocks into a table. The vase atop it goes hurtling down behind Hana and it smashes, a broken shard flying upwards and slicing the back of the toddler's neck. It leaves a small scar that she hides with her hair as it grows out.

Surprisingly, Hana can't remember how painful it was. She remembers more the sound of the front door slamming, the sea of jagged pottery that prevents her from moving and her father running towards her instead of his disappearing wife.

Hana grows up fast.

She forces herself to mature, to act on her intelligence rather than push it away and go play with dolls. After all, she is one of the rare highly clever children-although Kurokawa Hana is not quite a genius. She lies on the level just below it, not that she cares as she's too busy trying to be of help to her kindhearted father to indulge in her intelligence.

It is at this young age she becomes obsessed with young adult novels. She becomes absorbed by cliched romance over cliched romance, losing herself in a world where love won't just disappear and marriages won't fall apart. Little Hana does not dwell on the idea that she has lost faith in the existence of true love in all but the form of fiction, nor that she no longer throws out affection to her father that easily. 'Tough love' is what she calls it, but her father isn't offended and smiles endearingly at his daughter.

A year later and Hana goes to kindergarten for the first time. A lot of people are with both of their parents and it makes her scowl as her heart twists in uncomfortable ways.

Then, she meets Sasagawa Kyoko.

Kyoko is kind. Oh far too kind. She doesn't seem phased by Hana's 'tough love' or comments that are beyond her level of understanding. Instead she smiles and takes her by the hand and asks if she'll be her first best friend.

It's almost bewildering how easily Kyoko pulls Hana into her orbit and one minute they're introducing themselves for the first time, the next the small blonde is combing her fingers through Hana's hair softly and talking about how they feel about fairy tale princesses. There's no expectation in Kyoko's gentle voice or irritation when Hana criticises the princesses for mainly being damsels in distress even though the honey eyed girl only understands half the words she's using. She's so safe and Hana wonders whether this is what having a mother feels like. One that is present and not always out because of their unhappy marriage.

Later, their teacher Matsuki puts them both in a group with these two boys, one with golden eyes and the other with red rimmed glasses. They're smart, so, so smart, and this friendship is what Hana had thought she'd wanted. It was the sort that was grinning and teenage-like with witty insults thrown around and it'd be so easy for her to slip in there.

But it is not the friendship that Kyoko desires.

The two boys don't dislike the blonde girl, honestly, it's so hard to dislike Kyoko when all she ever is to anyone is heartbreakingly kind, but she is not like them. She is too slow to get their jokes, too soft to ever throw even the tiniest insult at anyone, too patient to cut into their conversations.

So Hana lets the friendship slip through her fingers in order to have Kyoko hug her comfortingly when she finally confesses to her parents separation, to pull her back into the childhood she'd wanted to throw away.

A few months later, Hana sees Kyoko going with some older boys after kindergarten. At first, she says nothing, but when Hatsumi, Kyoko's mother, calls up her father to ask if he's seen her daughter or son, Hana feels her stomach drop.

The next day, Ryohei is in hospital and Kyoko is absolutely terrified of anyone with the opposite sex to her excluding that of her family. Her terror is especially excruciating because it is silent. She doesn't want people to be offended by her fear of them so she says nothing, not even when she's about to cry, and by the third day enough is enough and Hana demands to Matsuki that they move groups.

Yun Lu soon and Koenig Ryuga are hardly offended, they had noticed Kyoko's discomfort the day she came back, but Hana can see that they are somewhat disappointed that they never got to have a friendship with her like she had wanted also.

However, she pretends not to care because if it makes Kyoko happy then that's all that matters.

Time flows on and they're four, five, six, seven, eight. Hana receives a card from her mother each year on special occasions and at one point Kyoko buys her a beautiful necklace with a green, oval jewel, the chain covering up her small scar. The blonde listens without judgement as her dark haired friend tells her that her mother is cruel and she hates her. Hates her, hates her, hates her.

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. Both of them go to Namimori Middle School together. It's there that suddenly Hana realises that Kyoko has grown up pretty with long lashes and a heart shaped face, smiles bright and warm. She's the centre of attention, the school idol, and everyone starts to crowd her. Hana bats them away because she knows Kyoko won't (too kind, too soft, too nice) and shoots glares at people who are thinking about rushing the poor girl.

It is during this time that Hana first notices the shy glances of a one Sawada Tsunayoshi and she narrows her eyes as if to say 'don't even try it'.

A few months later and Mochida finally tries to hit on Kyoko. Hana lets him because she thinks the boy meets her standards for her best friend: somewhat intelligent, fairly good looking, older and therefore in her mind mature, and above all confident enough for the mild mannered girl. The dark haired girl can't help but liken him to the heroes in her array of young adult fiction and Kyoko dating such a boy puts her mind at ease.

Then Tsuna comes running in with only his boxers on and yells for Kyoko to go out with her.

Hana's angry, furious even, and she can't help but feel vindictive glee that Mochida planned to make an example of the idiot who dared make her precious friend run away screaming. He deserves it, she thinks, how could he possibly think that he was good enough for Kyoko to even ask her out?

She stands at the front of the crowd who has come to witness the main target for bullies have his ass kicked astronomically, Kyoko of course by her side, and-

Mochida messes up.

Kind, pretty Kyoko lets her lips slip into an outraged snarl and she lunges for Mochida who is by this point well and truly dead to Hana. He's a jerk, a certified asshole, and she holds Kyoko back only to stop herself from socking him right in the face. She's mortified also as even Tsuna, who had committed a crime she considered almost unforgivable, was placed higher than the boy she'd thought deserved Kyoko.

Tsuna rushes in next and well, the impossible unfolds and he crushes Mochida. Hana watches with wide eyes, not believing quite what she is seeing, and her awe allows Kyoko to slip out of her grip and rush towards the brunet, stars in her honey-coloured eyes. Her admirer is a complete mess, stuttering and blushing and looking at the school idol as though he's unworthy to be in her presence and of course Kyoko forgives him for what happened earlier. A blush of her own rises in Hana's cheeks and she glances away, still embarrassed with her conduct and the realization that controlling who her friend dated was an awful idea from the start.

Following that incident though, everything changes.

An attractive transfer student starts following the no-good boy and then a popular baseball jock is drawn to his side too and, before anyone can even comprehend what's happening, a whole crowd has gotten caught in Tsuna's orbit. Hell, even Hibari Kyoya seems part of this gang of people and Hana can't help but gape (there's that mature boy too that appears every now and then of which she can't help but swoon a little over).

Kyoko's pulled in too. She makes friends with this girl named Haru, who is slightly too enthusiastic for Hana's tastes but charming all the same, and another one called Chrome, who is painfully shy but painfully kind too. Of course, Hana is still the one that Kyoko thinks of as her closest friends, however, the dark haired girl feels the sting when she realizes there is a secret she's being left out of.

Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Kyoko's hair grows out more and Tsuna's body starts to fill out. He's no longer an awkwardly built teenager and Hana almost falls over the first time she realizes he's got actual muscles. They all go to the same high school, Hibari of course controlling it from the day he joins, and Hana feels herself settling in for another three years of the same ridiculous antics.

Everything changes suddenly again.

Kyoko comes back from a holiday and something has shifted entirely-her smiles cover up this aching wound in her mind that Hana, who has always thought herself as the blonde's rock, can't heal. Pretty, happy Kyoko is transformed into someone different and her best friend doesn't know what has happened. But she is silent for whenever Kyoko is hurt she is silent and suffers alone. Hana prods at the scarred tissues, begs for the secret to her closest friend's agony to be revealed, and eventually gives up with tears in her eyes. She'll do this alone, she thinks.

Only Kyoko doesn't do this alone.

Kyoko's orbit that had pulled Hana in so effortlessly all those years ago is altered by another that is stronger. These two stars, two suns that used to just pass each other innocently begin to circle one another in a sort of blinding dance. And Hana, who had only ever been a small, insignificant planet, is helpless to interfere, only able to watch with wide eyes at how Tsuna and Kyoko talk alone in hushed tones.

Even though she doesn't hear what they say, Hana knows that the two share secrets no one else has heard. The secret to Kyoko's pain, the secret to Tsuna's understanding of her agony, the secret to why their whispers dance together.

Hana is there when the two stars collide, accidentally viewing the moment when Tsuna presses his lips to the girl who had never told her best friend that she'd even fallen for this boy.

Someone else is there too however and pulls Hana backwards into a hug when she begins to cry, covers her eyes when the sight is too much and reminds her that this isn't betrayal on Kyoko's behalf, this is just a confusing set of emotions the blonde doesn't know how to convey to the girl who had always been by her side.

It takes approximately three weeks of comforting words and laughter and their own secrets for Kurokawa Hana to fall in love with Sasagawa Ryohei. It take a further year and a half for her to admit it to herself.

(It takes no time at all for him to fall in love with her however-Ryohei's always been fond of Hana. At first for taking good care of his sister and then later for just being so strong despite being so weak. He may have fought wars with terrible odds but the idea of continuing on with part of his family gone hurts him more than any physical wound. But Hana continues on with this gaping wound that seems to keep ripping wider and wider open without a falter in her step. It is difficult for Ryohei, who has always valued strength so highly, to not love her.)

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Lord, give me patience...because if you give me strength, I'll need bail money to go with it.

Notes

Scar on the back of the neck: A long time ago, when Kyoko first made an illusion of Hana, Hana told her about the scar on the back of her neck that was caused by her mother walking out of the house drunk. She never went into detail about it and Kyoko never asked.

"I hate her": In 'Kyoko', Hana never hates her mother. Instead she comes to a point of indifference about her mother's scarce communication with her and existence. This is mainly because Kyoko subconsciously influences Hana to 'man-up' about the whole situation and not dwell on it too much. Canon!Kyoko however let's Hana think about it more and come to terms with it, which should call for a more healthy response but doesn't really end up that way.

Secrets: In my fic, Kyoko tells Hana almost all of her secrets. Canon!Kyoko however does not. Who's to say Hana was happier about this in either situation?

Twilight fanatic: True love almost always prevails in YA books, Hana found, so she read them constantly. There's a reason why Hana, who you'd suspect would like more literary classics, loves Twilight so much.

Green necklace: Hana wears a green necklace in the canon. Kyoko is given the necklace by a fortune teller to give to her friend. Canon!Kyoko seeks it out herself.

I think Hana's personality had less obvious changes in 'Kyoko' (mainly because her character wasn't focused on that much) so this chapter really didn't need any 'Kyoko' knowledge I guess haha.

I always found the idea of HanaxRyohei cute in the canon. They're both really caring and I can imagine Ryohei basically being a huge puppy around her, which she'd find probably both embarrassing and adorable.

Now, who to do next?