Title: Unexpected
Rating: PG-13-ish? Not too explicit, at any rate…
Characters/Pairing: Sanji/Kaku (yes, you read that right…)
Word Count: ~2500
Notes: I fully blame certain people on twitter for this (you know who you are…) because normally I keep my unconventional ships to myself but, well, it happened anyway.
Spoilers: Only if you haven't read CP9's cover story, I guess.

Unexpected

He should have known he'd regret this.

Scratch that, he had known he'd regret it, but at the time it hadn't mattered because it had been so long since he'd gotten the chance to be with somebody.

Hell, he'd expected to have a couple of days on Sabaody to at least release some tension but, of course, they attracted trouble like a magnet and had been forced to take off almost immediately, and it had taken until now for them to actually spend the night on an island (mostly because he'd idly mentioned they were almost out of food, which of course prompted Luffy to immediately demand they find a port town).

Luckily, there was one on the next island, and Nami had given them all their allotted money and told them to come back in two days. He'd scurried away quickly, getting all of the supplies bought and then heading into the nearest inn he saw that had a bar (it was always much less of a hassle to be in the same building when picking up somebody, after all).

And it wasn't that he hadn't missed his crew over the past two years, because of course he had, but this was something nobody on the crew could give to him. Yes, he might have fantasized about it once…or twice…or several times…with Nami and Robin, but it was never something he seriously considered in reality. And the guys, well, Brook and Chopper were out on principle, and Franky sort of was, too. Luffy was just too innocent for him to even consider asking. Usopp…Usopp had his girl, or else Sanji might have, since he and the sniper had always been close, and Zoro would have been okay for a quick fuck if Sanji had been convinced they could actually get things done without it devolving into a physical fight.

So really, his best bet was to find a stranger, and it had been relatively easy considering how picky he could be. But the man had drawn his attention instantly, not just because he looked sort of familiar (and really, he was unmistakeable, so that Sanji couldn't place where he'd seen him before bothered him immensely), but because everybody else in the bar was giving him a wide berth.

The man was dangerous, that much was certain, and although he interacted with the bartender cordially and seemed in good spirits, there was something about the set of his shoulders and the sharpness of his gaze that told Sanji he was constantly alert. His wide eyes had gotten even wider when Sanji had taken the stool beside him, but he didn't say anything else.

Their conversation was polite, nothing more than small talk about the weather and the island itself, at least until Sanji had yawned in a rather exaggerated manner and indicated that he was going to retire, pulling at the knot of his tie and leveling his best smoldering gaze at the man.

It might have been two years, but he could still turn it on when he had to.

There was a flicker of indecisiveness in the man's expression, a slight grimace on his lips under that rather ridiculous nose (Sanji wasn't going to judge, since he'd considered Usopp as a viable option, but it was something else), but he stood up and jammed his hands in the pockets of his pants, baseball cap pulled low over his eyes while following Sanji up the lobby stairs and into the room he'd booked earlier.

And then, well, that's when things became a bit of a blur, because the other man was a damn contortionist (Sanji had thought he was flexible, but he had nothing on the guy). He couldn't remember much other than an aching need to feel somebody's else's skin against his, too desperate to even bother with anything more than naked frottage, bodies tangled together impossibly and release hitting like a tidal wave, swift and powerful and leaving him shaking.

It had been awkward after that, because it always was, and Sanji had kind of scrambled under the covers and assumed the man would leave, but now it was the middle of the night and he was awake and there was a warm body in the bed next to him, which definitely wasn't in any of his plans.

He didn't fully regret it, exactly, because it had been fucking hot and he kind of wished he would have had the stamina to do something a little more, but one-night-stands weren't supposed to sleep beside you and it was throwing Sanji off a little.

Well, he wasn't going to kick the man out, after all, but he was too wired to fall back asleep so he lit up a cigarette and sat up against the headboard, looking down at his bedfellow.

Despite his nose, the man was attractive, Sanji thought absently. His body was a work of art, lean and muscular without being bulky, every inch of him finely crafted and Sanji knew he was stronger than he looked, since he'd flipped them both over using just his legs. There was a rather impressive scar on his chest, star-shaped and looking like it had to have been immensely painful at the time, but other than that he was remarkably untouched for obviously being a fighter.

He watched the man's nose wrinkle as the smoke drifted toward him, carried by the breeze coming in through the open window, and when he blinked his eyes open there was a slight moment of disorientation before he sighed and propped himself up.

"Sorry. I shouldn't've presumed…"

"It's fine," Sanji shrugged, because for some reason it was. "I don't mind."

"Ah. Well, thank you," he looked awkward now, biting his lip and glancing behind him to where their clothes lay scattered in a heap in the corner. "I should probably…"

"I said, 'it's fine,'" Sanji wasn't sure why he was pressing the issue, since he could have just let the guy go and never worried about seeing him ever again, but for some reason he didn't want to do that. "You're not bad company."

"You really don't recognize me, do you?" the man had a bit of a sad smile on his face and Sanji tilted his head to the side, because that pretty much confirmed all of his suspicions.

"You know me, obviously."

"Aye, that I do, lad," the man pushed himself up and sat back beside Sanji, who bristled a bit at being called a 'lad' by somebody who couldn't have even been five years older than him. "This is prob'ly gonna sound mighty strange, but I've had my eye on you for a good while, now."

Sanji narrowed his eyes, because what the fuck was that supposed to mean?

"Even before you got your bounty, I had a feeling you could fight, and seeing you in action," he clicked his tongue. "Well, y' didn't disappoint, I'll say that."

"Look, stop talking in fucking riddles and just tell me how you know me," Sanji growled, because he wasn't in the mood for this shit.

"I'm not sure I wanna do that, y'see, because I'm pretty sure you're gonna kick me clean through the wall once I do," he chuckled. "But trust me, Black-leg Sanji, when I say I mean you and your crew no harm. Not this time, at any rate," he wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his chin on top of them. "I feel like I should apologize for kickin' you through that bench on the train, but your swordsman more than paid me back for any damage I did to your lot," he touched his chest and grimaced, and Sanji's brain connected all of the hazy dots and he damn near did kick him through the wall once he realized.

No wonder Sanji didn't recognize him, since he'd only seen him across a train car and then again on the top of Enies Lobby from the next building over, but from what he remembered Zoro was fighting…

"You're the fucking giraffe?!"

"Oh, God," the man started laughing, burying his face against his blanket-covered knees as his shoulders shook with suppressed mirth. "Yes, in that case, I suppose I am. I'd just thought me being CP9 might have factored higher on your list of concerns."

"It does. It…fuck," Sanji covered his eyes with one hand and groaned.

"Well, now y' can say you've slept with the enemy," the man shrugged and Sanji shoved at him, surprisingly not mad that he'd been denied this information until now. "The name's Kaku, by the way," he held out a hand and Sanji thought it was kind of strange for him to be so cordial now considering they were still lying in bed without any clothes on. But, well, he did appreciate good manners, so he reached out anyway to return the handshake.

"Sanji. But you know that," Sanji sighed, blowing out some smoke rings and wondering what it all meant. He'd assumed if they'd have ever run into any of those CP9 bastards again they'd be pissed at having been beaten and would try to kill them on sight, but sleeping with one of them hadn't ever crossed his mind (okay, that was a lie, that blonde woman was the embodiment of so many of his sexual fantasies, but he would have had no chance against her either in a fight or in the bedroom). "So. Gonna kill me?"

"No," Kaku shook his head, looking directly at Sanji as if to make sure the blond believed him. "I…we're rather in the same boat now, y'see, so it wouldn't do us any good. Our boss," he said the word rather derisively, "decided to blame the failure entirely on us and so we've been on the run for the last couple 'a years," he unfurled his body, leaning back against the headboard. "It wouldn't do us any good t' try and capture you at this point…not that I'd want to," he added, smiling, and despite himself Sanji smiled back.

He believed this man, agent and assassin though he might be, but there was something earnest about his words, about the look in his eyes under those rather impressive eyelashes, and Sanji felt himself relax fully.

"So, where's the rest of your bunch?" he knew Kaku wouldn't be traveling alone, after all.

"Dunno. Probably around town, some of 'em, and the rest'll be back on the ship. I'm surprised things've been so quiet tonight with us around, since Rob's still more prone to killing than talking when dealin' with people," he tapped his long fingers against a bent knee, but the tone of his voice was fond.

Sanji wasn't sure how anybody could be fond of that cat-bastard, but maybe all of them had hidden depths he wasn't aware of from seeing them just as enemies. He had a brief panicked thought about what might happen if any members of their respective groups met, but since the town was still standing and it was already the middle of the night apparently they'd lucked out on that front.

He leaned over to drop the cigarette into a cup on the bedside table before turning back to the other man, who was blinking at him slowly in the darkness. The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, really, but Sanji was still kind of processing and before he could stop himself he reached out to press his fingertips against Kaku's chest, spreading his palm over the center of the scar there.

"So. The Marimo did a number on you, huh?" he let his hand linger, feeling Kaku suck in a breath at the touch. "He always liked you, you know."

"Well, he did apologize for defeating me, which is somethin' that doesn't strike me as normal where a lad like him's concerned," Kaku noted.

"Yeah, as you can probably imagine, we don't fight a lot of people that have any sort of honor," he moved to pull his hand away but Kaku caught his wrist, holding it there.

"Speakin' of having honor…or, well…" the agent sighed, pushing himself upright so that he was level with Sanji. "I know Iceburg's alive because we still get the paper, but the others…Paulie…" he stopped and visibly swallowed, looking guilty. "I know I shouldn't care, since they're just s'posed t' be casualties of the job 'n all, but…"

"They're fine," Sanji promised, and Kaku blinked at him before slowly smiling. "I'm pretty sure they hate you, but when we left Water 7 everybody was fine."

"That's good. They deserve to hate me," Kaku laughed bitterly. "I don't care if they do, 's long as they're alright," he nodded, and Sanji caught himself leaning closer before he even realized it, because he was starting to realize that Kaku was definitely not the man he'd assumed just based on who he'd worked for.

He knew he was a fucking bleeding heart when it came to wanting to help people, no matter who they were, but this was all getting a little too personal. He didn't kiss hook-ups, after all.

"You can," Kaku gave him a sad little smile. "If y' want to. I dunno why you would, since you don't owe me anything, but…"

Sanji cut him off, because he couldn't stand to hear him belittling himself when it was obvious this had all been eating away at him for the past two years. He was a little surprised both at how eager he was and at how quickly Kaku responded, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck.

His nose, even more surprisingly, wasn't as big of an issue as Sanji had feared it would be, and when they broke apart Kaku wasn't looking quite as haunted.

"So," he cleared his throat, running his fingers up into Sanji's shaggy hair. "How long're you lot hangin' around here?"

"One more night," Sanji murmured, moving his hands to frame Kaku's waist, and the other man's eyes lit up at the news.

"Does that mean you'll be up for round two?" he asked, not bothering to hide the hopeful lilt to his voice, and Sanji kissed him again as an answer.

"As long as you show me your little giraffe trick sometime," he snickered, pressing his body against Kaku's and feeling himself starting to get aroused again.

Kaku groaned and made quite a show of rolling his eyes, but Sanji noticed that he didn't say 'no.'

But that could come later. Right now, Sanji just hoped that nobody from his crew would disturb him for the next day, because he had a feeling he was going to be very, very busy.

Notes:

1. For those of you who've read 'This Is Your Life' from way back when, you probably already had half an idea that I sort of shipped these two, and while I've written things for them before that I never intend to post, I thought I'd try to write something sort-of canon compliant since I had some people on twitter say they'd be interested...

2. That being said, if you did read this, feel free to leave a review!