Life after Loss

Chapter 1: Remembrance and Choosing Day

It has been exactly nine years since that fateful day and I remember it clearly.

Too clearly.

It has been stitched into every fibre of my brain and I can't let it go.

It was the day my family were murdered. Right in front of my eyes.

Well, not literally in front of my eyes, my parents seemed to know what was coming. They made me hide under the floor boards, my brother was meant to hide there as well, but it was too late, they had already arrived. My brother slammed the floorboard down to cover me and they were all killed. I saw what happened through the small gaps in the floor, I just had to be quiet until the murderers left.

It was hard.

So, so hard.

Watching your mother, your father, your brother die and remaining quiet as they do.

They were stabbed and beaten and shot repeatedly.

Right in front of my eyes.

When the murderers had left I got out from under the floor and looked at my family as they laid, lifeless on the floor in front of me.

It was only then that I let myself cry, and scream, and shout as loud as my five year old self could.

I managed to cry, and scream, and shout loud enough to wake my neighbour, Marcus Eaton, who was, and still is a leader. Him, his wife and his son rushed over to my house and barged in to see me crying and my family, dead on the floor.

His wife, Evelyn, and his son, Tobias, rushed over to me to try and calm me down whilst Marcus made sure they were actually dead. He called an ambulance and their bodies were taken away from me.

I stayed with the Eaton family for a week, until I was adopted by my godmother from Dauntless, Hana Pedrad.

I joined Dauntless and fitted right in, but it didn't stop the nightmares, or the visions, or the heartache. I still remember everything.

In their wills I was left all of their possessions, though it was selfish for the Abnegation to have things that mattered to them, my parents had some though, because Caleb also died it was all left to me. It is all in my closet, here in Dauntless, waiting for a time where I might use them.

Now I am a fourteen year old Dauntless with PTSD, living with a new family, and with new friends.

My new family consists of Hana Pedrad, my new mum, Zeke Pedrad, my new older brother, and Uriah Pedrad, the new brother that is the same age as me. There was Michael Pedrad, my new father, but he died of cancer a few years back, when I was ten.

Having my new dad die only five years after my real dad died was horrible, it made everything worse, my PTSD, everything.

My new family are amazing, they love me and I love them, they help me through everything and they are the best new family I could ask for.

I also have friends, Marlene, who is the same age as me, Lynn is also the same age as me, and Shauna, who is the same age as Zeke. They are also amazing, they help me through whatever I am going through, they are also part of my family.

A knock on the door breaks me from my thoughts.

"Tris, honey, you need to get ready. We need to get going in an hour and a half and I know you will probably want some breakfast before we go." Hana says through the door.

"Okay." I say back.

I listen as the sounds of her feet hitting the concrete floor get quieter and quieter as they get further away.

Today is Zeke's and Shauna's choosing ceremony, where they get to choose the faction they get to spend the rest of their lives in. Everyone has one when they turn sixteen years old, it's when you become an adult, you get to choose where you want to spend your life, you choose who you want to be.

The day before your choosing ceremony however you have a test, the aptitude test. It tells you what faction you fit into better, helping you when it comes to choosing where you want to live.

I am only attending today because Zeke and Shauna are choosing.

I climb out of my warm bed, the cold floor sends a chill up my bare legs from where I am only wearing black shorts and a dark grey t-shirt.

I walk into my en-suite bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth, I showered last night so I don't have to do it again.

I enter my bedroom again and walk to my closet, the stuff from my Abnegation home is in the back of it, Dauntless is in the front. Everything is black or dark colours like greys, reds, purples or blues.

I grab some black leggings and a dark red tank top that shows the tattoo I got a few weeks ago after having to watch my family die again, in a dream, obviously. I am underage but Tori let me, she's another one of my friends and she owns the tattoo parlour. I thought it might help. I got a tattoo of three ravens flying towards my heart, it starts on my collar bone. One for each member of my blood family.

To be honest it hasn't really helped, but it's nice knowing I will always have them with me.

I get changed and tie my blonde hair into a ponytail, put on some foundation, eyeliner and mascara before pulling on a black leather jacket and sliding my feet into my black combat boots and tying up their thick laces.

I leave the room and walk to the kitchen/dining room where I find Hana, Zeke and Uriah waiting for me at the dining table, eating some pancakes. Hana always does pancakes on a special occasion, they're amazing.

I join them, taking my seat in between my brothers, and I grab some pancakes from the plate in the middle of the table and put them on my own plate before topping them with lemon juice and sugar.

"Did you sleep okay last night, Tris?" Hana asks me, she always does, every morning.

"Not really." I answer quietly before starting to eat my pancakes.

My real name isn't Tris, by the way, it's Beatrice Prior, but when I came to Dauntless I wanted to change my name to make it sound more Dauntless. On my sixth birthday Hana gave me a form where I could change my name, I only found out it was my birthday because Hana and Michael looked it up on my birth certificate and decided to throw a party for me, in Abnegation you aren't allowed to know your birthday, it's considered self-indulgent. So I changed my name to Tris Prior-Pedrad, and I have been called that ever since.

We continue to eat our breakfast in peace.

…

Hana, Uriah and I are currently sitting in the Dauntless part of the audience of the choosing ceremony, waiting for it to finish.

Zeke and Shauna have already had their turn, they both chose to stay in Dauntless and, to be honest, I am blocking out the rest of it.

At least, that was the plan until a name caught my eye.

This year is Dauntless' turn to host and Max just called out the name Tobias Eaton. The boy who tried to calm me down when my family died.

I sit more forward so I can watch closely as Tobias walks over to the five bowls and takes his knife from Max's hand. He slices his hand, just as every sixteen year old has to, and puts his hand over the Abnegation bowl, looking at something in the audience, I follow his line of sight and see he is looking at his father, Marcus.

I look back at Tobias and watch as he moves his hand over to the Dauntless bowl and lets one little drop of blood drip onto the hot coals.

Tobias Eaton is coming to Dauntless.

The boy I lived with for a week is coming to Dauntless.

He has grown since I last saw him, a lot, though he was seven at the time.

I watch as he takes his seat amongst the Dauntless and think about how he always tried to comfort me when I was staying with him, he always hugged me and looked after me, he always tried to make me laugh, and on most occasions it worked, we became quite good friends in the period of a week.

…

We are on the train back home now, us Dauntless are in the first car, the transfers are in the second, but Tobias is in here. I am sitting alone in the far left corner of the car, watching as Amar, the initiation instructor, talks to him, my knees are tucked up to my chest and my arms are wrapped tight around them.

Tobias catches my eye and I think I see some recognition in them. I'm not quite sure. He excuses himself from his conversation with Amar and walks slowly over to me.

"Is it all right if I sit with you?" He asks me.

I nod and he sits next to me, his legs straight out in front of him.

"I think I recognise you from somewhere." He tells me quietly as he looks me in the eyes.

"I recognise you as well, Toby." I tell him, Toby is what I called him when I stayed with him, but only for the last few days of my stay.

"Beatrice?" He asks.

I nod.

"It's just Tris, now, though." I tell him.

"It's so good to see you again." He says.

"It's good to see you again, too." I reply.

"How are you doing?" He asks, wary of whether he should ask that question or not.

"I'm coping, I have PTSD, though." I tell him.

He nods.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm okay, I suppose." He answers.

"Why'd you choose Dauntless?" I question.

"I wanted to be free. I wanted to get away from it all. I wasn't selfless enough. Also, a small part of me was hoping I'd get to see you again." He says, smiling sadly.

I smile back at him, but with a small smile.

"It would be good to get to know you again, and it would be good to have another friend around here. I mean, I have friends, but it would be nice to have someone from back home." I say.

"Yeah, I'd also like to meet your friends." He tells me.

"You will, I'll make sure of it." I say.

"We're here." Amar shouts.

A few seconds later people are starting to jump off the train. I stand and so does Tobias.

"Now what?" He asks.

"We have to jump from the train onto the roof." I reply.

"O-okay." He stutters.

"Together." I say, holding out my hand.

"Together." He repeats as he takes my hand, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. I wonder if he felt it too.

We count to three and we jump, successfully landing on the roof. Well, Tobias lands on his knees, causing me to fall as well so I am at the same level as him.

"Well, I have to go down the stairs with Hana and Uriah, who are my adoptive family, you get the fun way in. I'll see you at dinner, you can come and sit with me if you want." I say.

"Okay, see you at dinner." He says, smiling.

I stand and walk over to Hana and Uriah, Lynn and her parents are here as well since she is Shauna's sister. We all walk down the stairs together.

"So, Tris, why were you talking to that Stiff?" Uriah asks.

"Uri, you know that I was also a Stiff. I stayed with him and his family before I can to live with you guys." I tell him.

"Oh, okay." He says.

"Also, I said he could sit with us at dinner as he probably doesn't know anyone else." I say.

"That's fine, sweetie." Hana says. "Looks like you still have some of your Abnegation ways in you."

I nod.

We decide to spend the next few hours in our apartment as we wait for dinner time.

Hey Ravens, how are you?

This is a new story I came up with, I hope you enjoy it.

I will update again as soon as I can.

Please Review!