A/N: I don't have a lot to say about this story. It was another idea that made it to my to do list, so I thought this would be the perfect time to get it finished and uploaded.
Disclaimer: I don't own MGLN.
CHANge
"...what did you say?" I ask my wife as she sits on the end of the bed, tying up her side ponytail.
"I said: Good morning, Fate."
"Good morning... Nanoha." I shake my head a little.
"What's wrong? Aren't you feeling well?"
"I just..."
She scoots over when she's finished and places a hand against my forehead.
Her eyebrows knit in thought, "You look a little red, but you don't seem to have a fever. Is anything the matter, Fate?"
Is anything the matter, Fate? Fate... Fate...
"Fate? Can't you hear me?"
"Ah!" I force myself to focus on Nanoha. She's wearing her instructor uniform like she has so many times before. Just like any other day... "Sorry. I was kinda... lost in thought, I guess."
"Mou, Fate..." She shakes her head with a loving smile. "You're so spacey this morning. You don't have to go in today, right? You should take it easy."
I can't argue with her, not that I had much intention of doing anything today. "Yeah. I'm just out of it, that's all."
"And be sure to watch after Vivio while I'm at training."
For a moment, I had forgotten about the girl sleeping so peacefully at my side. "Of course," I answer while I brush the tangerine hair from her face, "We'll be waiting for you to get back."
When I turn back to Nanoha, she's gotten her thighhighs on and slipped on her shoes, ready to leave. She walks back to the side of the bed and leans over to kiss me before she leaves. Just a tame little kiss.
"Why not sleep a little longer? It's your day off after all."
"I think I will. Thanks."
Her usual beautiful smile adorns her features. "I'll see you this afternoon then. I love you, Fate."
I answer her just before she leaves. "I love you, too."
I smile as she leaves, but it's slowly defeated by my thoughts as I slip back under the covers, "Fate...?"
"Fate-mama...?" The little lump at my side mumbles.
"Sorry, Vivio. Did I wake you?"
She shakes her head and snuggles in closer to my chest.
"Fate-mama is so warm..." Her breathing returns to that cute 'Suu suu.'
She wasn't awake for very long. I laugh a little as I wrap my arms around her back and let her use me as a pillow. Together we drift back to sleep. Maybe it was a dream...
I awake next when Vivio shakes me lightly out of my dreams, calling my name. At her insistence, we go to breakfast and end up eating with Hayate and her knights. I think momentarily of inquiring about Nanoha, but I realise they won't know anything I don't. Worst of all they'd ask what's the problem and I'd have to explain my childishness to them. I keep silent.
After breakfast, Vivio wants to go see the recruits practicing and so we head over to the practice field along with Signum, who's interested in checking their progress. I hold Vivio's hand along the way, thankful to have her leading me. My thoughts are far too jumbled for me to get there consciously or listen to the things the Signum is saying beside me.
"Don't you think, Testarossa?" She says, turning to look at me.
"Huh? Think what?" I'm sure I look as scatterbrained as I sound.
"About the new recruits, I mean."
"I...um..." I hang my head in defeat. "I haven't been listening. I'm sorry."
The swordsman crosses her arms over her chest and gives me a critical look. "Did you sleep alright, Testarossa?"
"Fate-mama slept like a rock!" Vivio says. "Waking her up wasn't easy."
Signum nods, but doesn't look satisfied. She keeps looking me over and then meets my eye for a moment. "Is anything wrong, Testarossa?"
I want to tell her no, but she always notices my lies. I sigh, "It's just been a weird morning."
Having reached the practice field, we sit down on a bench off to the side. We can see Nanoha instructing Caro and Erio and they all stop for just a moment to wave at us.
'Oh, hello again Fate. I didn't think I'd see you here. Did Vivio want to watch?' She speaks to me.
I wave back. 'Yeah, she did.'
They return to their lesson while Subaru and Teana join us in watching from the side. They give a cheerful hello, but I only have a hollow response to offer as the sound of Fate bounces around in my head like a ball in a game of pool. Only this one has no objective to reach. It just keeps bouncing endlessly, producing a monotonous clang.
I must have zoned out more than I thought. Suddenly everyone is huddled around me, calling my name. Maybe they noticed the moisture in the corner of my eyes.
"Testarossa? Can you hear us?"
"Hey, Fate-mama!"
"Fate-san?"
"Yo Fate-san, are you in there?!"
"Subaru, don't be so rude!"
Even Caro must have noticed the commotion, because I hear her in my head. 'Is everything okay, Fate?'
I barely keep a strangled cry from passing through my lips. I feel myself stand suddenly, almost like it isn't in my control.
"Sorry, but can you watch after Vivio?" I say to no-one in particular.
Teana is the first to be able to speak. "Eh? Wait, Fate-san! What's going on?"
Bardiche offers them only two words, "Sonic Move."
I rush from the field as fast as I can, not caring what they'll think, not caring who I zoom past. I don't stop until I reach the door to our room and manage to get inside just as the first wave of tears finally break loose. I slide down along the door and put my head into my knees.
For a few minutes, I try my best to fight them off, wiping frantically at my eyes in expectation of a knock at the door.
None comes.
Why? It doesn't make any sense to me. It shouldn't hurt this much. Of all things, I choose this to cry over?
I give up on wiping my tears and press my face back into my knees, hugging them tightly as I sob.
I'm glad Nanoha hasn't come after me yet. If she sees me like this, she'll think I'm such a child. And maybe I am. I'm crying over a name. I just can't get it out of my head; the way she said it. Fate. She calls me Fate at times. When I'm selfish, when I'm in pain... when we're alone and in bed. But this is different.
I almost can't tell that it's Nanoha's voice, so dull and metallic to my ears. Fate.
Why should it hurt? Plenty of people call me Fate. Arf, Lindy, Chrono, Erio and Caro... all people I love. But from Nanoha, it hurts.
And Hayate calls me Fate-chan too... Why is it so different?!
Frustration is drying my tears for me. I cast a blurry gaze around the room that we share, but my eyes can't take in anything. My brain is devoted solely to the puzzle I've put before myself.
On shaky legs, I stand from the floor and flop onto our bed. It smells of us... of her.
Fate-chan; I can almost hear her say. I know the words that accompany that.
"I love you..." I whisper into the pillow.
Because that's what she's always said. Ever since we were little, she's whispered those words to me. Always: I love you, Fate-chan.
The closet door across from the bed is playing background to my thoughts. It's the name she gave to me. I know it isn't all that special. It's just an honorific, but... it's the first name ever given to me out of kindness. Out of love.
But Fate... I know what follows Fate...
Ever since you were created... I've always hated you!
My tears begin anew as I hide my face in my pillow.
Mother never once loved me. I probably knew that all along, but still I did as I was told and hoped that someday she'd be pleased with what I've done. In the end, I'm sure all she was pleased by was my departure from her life. If she ever made it to Al Hazard, I'm sure she's happier there without me.
Mother...
I can see her clearly, standing tall in front of me as I cower in her shadow. Her expression is blank, but even still I know she's angry with me. She speaks softly at first, but it does last. Now she's yelling in my face, scolding my incompetence, cursing my existence. Her hand goes to her staff and it turns into sharp-tipped whip. She's shaking me with one arm and snapping the whip about threateningly with the other, all the while still raving mad. I can only sob and plea for her to forgive me. She raises her whip over her head.
I'm shaken again.
"No, Mother! Please!"
"Fate!"
"Don't hurt me!"
"FATE!"
"Please, don't hurt me again!"
"Fate-chan, snap out of it!"
The Garden of Time I had seen so vividly dissolved in an instant and my tear-streaked eyes open to find a softly lit room and a worried brunette kneeling over me.
"Nanoha!"
I hug her so tightly that she collapses on top of me, but I don't care. I just want to hold her tighter, closer.
She sighs and wraps her arms around my neck. "Geez, I failed already."
"Failed?" My voice seems rather small.
"I thought I should stop calling you Fate-chan. We're not kids anymore. It seems kinda childish."
"But I am!" I look into her questioning eyes. "I am childish, so please don't ever stop calling me Fate-chan." I put my forehead against hers. "It nearly tore me apart..."
"Tell me what happened, Fate-chan. Why did you run off?"
I breathe a deep, but calm sigh and begin to tell her all the thoughts that had rattled about in my head that morning. About the way it sounded when she called me Fate and how it reminded me of Mother. She dabs at my dried tears as I talk and gently caresses my cheek.
"I know what others call me, but it's different with Nanoha. Only with Nanoha. Fate was a project, but Fate-chan was born when you called out to me. I don't want to go back to being a hated doll..." I start to sniffle again.
"As if I could ever hate you, Fate-chan! Please don't cry anymore. What can I do to make it up to you?"
She looks at me with big, pleading sapphires. I bite my lower lip and turn away from her gaze. "Tell me I'm cute..."
"You're adorable."
"And that you love me..."
"I love you so much!" She nuzzles her cheek against mine and holds me tighter.
"...good."
"Mou, a pouty Fate-chan is just too irresistible..."
"Nyaaa w-wait, Nanoha..." I do my best to speak as she begins kissing down my neck to my collarbone. "Wait about training?"
"Actually, you've been asleep for a few hours. Everything's done for the day."
"Ah... Ahhhnnn!" She's nibbling on my collarbone now, popping buttons on both our shirts and my body's slowly getting hotter. I pull the tie from her hair and run my hand through the auburn cascade that falls to her side. "Do you need me, Nanoha?"
"I need you so much, Fate-chan. I need you to get through every day and I need your skin against mine when I start burning up like this." She places my palm in the valley of her breasts and she's hot to the touch.
"I need you too." I smile and kiss her deeply.
"I'm sure no-one will mind if we're late to dinner..."
A/N: Nanoha Birthday Bundle part 4! Writing this many things in such a short time is interesting. On the one hand, the quality probably isn't as high. On the other hand, each piece still feels spur of the moment and doesn't really get bogged down so much. It feels kinda nice to know I can crank out an idea without it falling into development hell. But I'll leave it up to you to decide how they came out. By the way, have you noticed? Each of these stories was more or less hinted at in the birthday piece. So, what do you think the last one will be…? Till next time!