6

"There you go Tim, signed and sealed; one psychological evaluation declaring you fit for a return to field duties." Rachel handed me the envelope, she was smiling at my eagerness to take it from her. "You don't have to look quite so pleased, if I was more sensitive, I could be hurt."

"Sorry…only, this means so much to me."

"No need to apologise, you deserve it, and just because our scheduled sessions are done, don't forget I'm always here if you want to talk."

"Thank you, I don't think I'd be here now if it wasn't for you."

"It only worked because you were willing to be open about what was going on in your head, and I have a feeling you had some encouragement there."

"Got a kick or two up the you-know-where…deserved them too. It's too easy keeping things inside, wasn't doing me any good; Tony helped me see I had to talk about things, seems like I've done nothing but for the last few weeks."

"Just be sure you don't stop now Tim, you've come a long, long way, all you have to do is keep doing what you have been and you'll do fine." She put out her hand, but instead of shaking it, I took a chance, held her hand in mine and kissed her cheek.

"I'm in your debt Dr Cranston, and if there's ever anything I can do for you, anything at all, please call me."

She was still smiling as she waved me out of her office and I figured my smile was a lot wider than hers. With my eval papers clutched tight in my hand I headed to the outer office.

"Way to go Tim!"

"I thought you were meeting me in the park."

"And miss that smile, no way." Tony took the envelope from my hand and waved it in the air. "Final piece of the 'back to field agent status' jigsaw. Must feel good."

"Oh yeah." I put my arm round his shoulders. "So good I'm going to pay for dinner tonight."

"No way! I made a promise Tim, and it's one I intend to keep. We haven't had a team dinner in a long time and I can't think of a better reason for us all to get together; having you back and fully recovered…Today is a very good day, and we're going to mark it with a very special dinner which will be my treat; are we clear?"

"Crystal Tony. So, coffee in the park, for old time's sake?"

"Wish I could, I wanted to be here for this." He handed me the envelope. "But I have to get back. The Director wants our case reports done before five or we'll be working late."

"I could come in, give you a hand."

"Don't tempt me; enjoy your last afternoon of freedom Tim, you can start fresh Monday morning. Don't get caught up in a chess game, dinner reservations are for seven-thirty."

"We'll be there."

We parted in the lobby and I took a slow walk to DuPont Circle, picking up a coffee on the way. The day was much warmer than it had been the last time Tony and I had taken this walk almost a month ago…was it really that long? Sometimes it seemed like yesterday, and others…so much has happened, some bad, most good.

I've come a long way from the cowed individual who was frightened to close his eyes in case the nightmares came, and they always did…until my friends took me in hand; things started to change after I moved in with Ducky. He opened up his home to me, made sure I took my meds, got plenty of rest, good food; he made me feel at home in his home, and with the peace and security he offered I started to heal. Had lots of help and that made all the difference, I couldn't have done this alone, that had been my mistake right at the start. I thought once I was out of the hospital everything would be fine, I'd be able to pick up where I left off, guess what I forgot was that where I left off was fighting for my breath on the floor with Ducky and Jimmy helping to keep me alive…

Who would have thought my saviour would be Tony? He's been with me almost every step of the way, and I'm pretty sure he'd have come with me to see Rachel if she'd allowed it. Having her to talk with, being able to open up my soul to someone who wouldn't be sympathetic, wouldn't push, would just listen and offer the support she felt I needed, gave me the foundation to build on when Tony and the others offered their own brand of counselling. Tony…simple fact, couldn't have come this far without him, he'd supervised my breathing exercises, set up a schedule for physical therapy, lots of walking, light gym work, building up gradually day by day until I was as fit, if not fitter than I was before the shooting. Getting stronger, walking further, running…won't say it was easy but it happened and the improvements were there for all to see; inside my head things were a lot messier.

I sat down on a bench in the shade, no chill wind to worry about today, there were a couple of guys engrossed in their chess game and for a few minutes I just watched them, playing their game in my head and nodding when they made a move I'd predicted. How things had changed…the last time I was here, talking with Tony that day, thinking for the first time since the bullets hit that maybe I could face a gun again, I wish I could make him see how much he gave me. I've never been the most confident person in the world, and working alongside so much talent, all I could see was they were better than me…guess what little confidence I had was leeched away when I let Gomford get to his gun first. But Tony, he wouldn't let me think that way, shows how far we've both come since we started working together, back then, he'd have had plenty of sarcastic remarks about my lack of speed on the draw, and me, I'd have come back at him with some snide comment about what I saw as his lack of academic achievement in comparison with what I'd done.

How stupid I was then, seeing only what Tony put on the surface, not seeing what he kept inside, he's smart in a way you can't learn behind a desk, and he'd been willing to show me how to grow, but I was so much the green probie all I could see was the put-downs, for the longest time I missed the lessons…time wasted, by both of us…he'll never admit it even now, but I think there are a few things Tony's learned from me, setting up his cable for one thing…I know for a fact I won't take him for granted again, not after what he's done for me, that first time at the firing range, I almost lost my breakfast when I fired my gun, the noise, the recoil, the smell…I wanted to run, would have too if Tony hadn't been there. He took me through the next shot, held my hand as I aimed, stood behind me, his hand on my shoulder when I fired…and it was better, took a few visits before it was good, and more before he allowed Gibbs to join us; it happened, as so much has happened since I left the hospital by tiny stages. And then there was a day when it all came together, nothing dramatic, no great eureka moment, just a day when everything I did felt…right.

I'd been lucky, I have no doubts without prompt medical attention and Rachel's professional help things would have been much, much worse. The team never let me falter, they stuck with me even when I was being a pain in the butt. Gibbs, Tony, Ducky, all of them kept me sane, made sure I didn't lose sight of who I am, what I want out of life…Oh Lord! Delilah, I promised I'd call her as soon as I had news. I hit speed dial.

"Tim! Are you okay? I was starting to get worried."

"I'm good, time just got away from me. She signed the papers Delilah, I'm clear to start work Monday."

"That's wonderful. Oh Tim, I'm so happy for you, you've worked so hard, you deserve this."

It was great having her in DC, she'd been through such a massive trauma herself she gave me a whole new perspective on my problems. "Tony had to go in to work. Would you like to go for lunch, have a quiet celebration before tonight?"

"Only if it's a very light lunch, I took a look at the dinner menu for tonight and I don't want to spoil my appetite."

"No problem, I'll pick you up in thirty minutes."

NCIS NCIS

I looked around the table, at all the people who helped me put my life back together.

"It's about time we got to do this Tim, you kept us waiting long enough."

"Hey, wasn't just me Tony. We had to wait for Breena to allow her mom to watch Vicky for a few hours, and for Zoe to get back from her undercover op."

He gave me the full mega-watt Tony smile. "True; and another cause for celebration."

I took another look at the menu, Ducky had chosen the restaurant and although it wasn't the most expensive place in Georgetown, 1789 sure wasn't the cheapest either. Tony saw me looking and leaned close to whisper. "If you offer to pay one more time, I swear I'm going to head-slap you right here in front of everyone."

"Then let me at least pay for the drinks, a small way of saying thanks to everyone, and to you most of all."

He considered for a few seconds. "You sure? Don't want to take money from your new apartment fund."

He kept his voice low, Delilah and I wanted to keep our search on the down-low until we'd found somewhere we wanted to call home. "No danger of that Tony, I've hardly spent a thing the last few weeks. It'll be my pleasure."

"Sounds like we have a plan."

There was a flurry of activity as the waiting staff took our orders, and when everyone had a drink to hand I stood up and tapped my glass with a spoon. Conversation halted and all eyes turned to me.

"I don't want to make a long speech, we're all here to have a good time, not listen to me talk, but there are a couple of things I wanted to say. First off, thank you, all of you have helped me more than I can ever repay. Without Ducky and Jimmy I wouldn't have made it as far as the hospital, and after that…I made some mistakes, plenty…until you all stepped in I was floundering. Never had to deal with something like this before, wasn't prepared…Guess the longer I went without being hurt the easier it was to believe I was bulletproof, Gomford's bullets put an end to that, but I do believe it will make me better, faster, smarter, and one thing I know for a fact, we're a stronger team today than we were five weeks ago. Not because of me, I don't have that big an ego, but I think because we all had a common purpose, I was the focus this time, but you'd have done the same for any member of the team, it's what we do for family. I'd like you propose a toast, to the best friends a man could have."

They all raised their glasses and took a drink, I smiled and prepared to sit down and enjoy a great meal. "Just one more thing, next time I get hurt, if there is a next time, and I tell you I think I'm okay, please ignore me because my self-diagnosis skills leave a lot to be desired. Cheers everyone, and thank you; for everything."

THE END

Author's Note: I'd like to thank everyone who has followed or favourited this story, and as ever offer my biggest thanks to those left a review. I know first-person points of view are not popular, so I'm grateful to all of you who stuck with this story.

I have no new ideas fermenting, and real life looks set to enter a rather difficult phase so I doubt if there'll be any more stories from me for a while. I'm committed to a fiction exchange on NFA which means I'll have to have a story ready for the end of June, but before that…nothing doing. Enjoy all the great stories on here, and hopefully I'll see a few of you around as and when I post again.