Notes: Hello there! Since this is such a small fandom and there's even a smaller amount of KinAtsu/AtsuKin fics (be it friendship or otherwise), here's my contribution! This can be considered friendship or pre-slash. For me, I envision it pre-slash but…ah whatever works. Fluff, pre-slash, friendship, little dosage of angst and character introspection, comfort...
This fic was written before the final episode came out, so I kind of made my own assumptions here and there. Hopefully it won't stray too far away from the real thing. I'm not sure how much I'd change (if at all) if that were the case.
Otherwise, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I hold no legal rights whatsoever over any of these characters or the anime.
A Lesson in Curry
He'd only ever had curry once in his life. It was quite the oddity, as Japanese curry was the epitome of homemade deliciousness, was what every child craved for dinner (that or spaghetti) in place of the every day miso-rice-fish trio. The warm and refreshingly spicy flavor mixed in delectably with its softened and tender ingredients of beef, potatoes, carrots and green onions. Poured over rice, the thick creamy texture of the curry was a delight to any child (and even adult) who could partake in a spoonful of it.
Unfortunately for Kinshiro, he'd only ever had it once. And that once had been enough for him to stay away from it forever.
It had been at Atsushi's house. His own mother, a young traveling fashion designer with a refined palate for art and style, never was the type to play housewife nor doting mother, opting between dining out at fancy upscale restaurants or having their in-house nanny whip up a full traditional Japanese meal. Foods such as curry, spaghetti and pizza were never to be eaten in her presence, since she considered them 'messy' dishes.
So it had been at Atsushi's house, with Atsushi's cooking, that he'd tried curry. Atsushi had learned that his best friend had never actually had curry before in his entire life, been utterly flabbergasted, and then proceeded to declare that he just had to come over and try it out. So, a shell-shocked seven-year-old Kinshiro, still reeling from the torrent of reactions and monologues about the greatness of curry from his friend, was thus dragged along to the latter's home to try out the mysterious curry.
Atsushi, who had never really made curry on his own—his mother had him help at times, was too excited in the venture and unfortunately lacked the sense to check for the expiration of items on the list.
Thus, Kinshiro's first and last endeavor with curry ended in two days of continuous vomiting, nausea and sickness.
Atsushi had felt completely horrible, of course, apologizing profusely and attempted to make up to his friend for the incident. He'd gotten a thorough scolding from his mother, who'd made him make some light soup—under her supervision this time—and bring it over as an apology. Since then, the blue-haired boy had attempted to bring the Kinshiro to different curry places, but the moment the latter got anywhere near the smell of curry spices hanging in the air—which happened quite often, considering how easily the smell of curry traveled—his stomach would rebel and the nauseating feeling would return. Every time it'd happen, Atsushi would look crestfallen, which in turn made Kinshiro feel guilty about having such a reaction to a food his friend so wholeheartedly loved.
But they'd been fine still, just avoided any food joints that carried curry on the menu. That was, until…
"At-chan, you're coming over to my house, right?" an eager Kinshiro asked the other boy as soon as the school bell rang. It was going to be great. He had plans to show At-chan the new set of mystery novels he'd bought, knowing just how much the other would enjoy tackling a new series.
Atsushi offered an apologetic smile. "I can't today. I've got something to do," he said as he packed his bags in a hurry. Part of him wanted to invite his friend along but… since it was the special discount curry that he was going to get, he knew that if he told Kin-chan, the latter would end up wanting to tag along only to sick up at the smell of curry. Besides, he'd just swing by tomorrow instead.
"Okay…" Kinshiro said, a little disappointed that his friend already had plans. 'Oh well, I can't expect him to be over all the time… He's probably got errands to run too.' With that, he managed a smile and bid the other goodbye as the latter made a mad dash out the door.
Later, as he made his way down to the school gates and rounded the corner, he saw his friend standing on the sidewalk talking to another boy in their year… Yufuin, was it? 'At-chan? What's he doing talking to Yufuin-kun…' he thought perplexed. Didn't the other have errands to run? He was about to approach the pair when a nagging uncomfortable feeling seized him, and instead of calling out his friend's name, he hid behind the lamp post instead.
"…that's right. Some people find even mild curry spicy," came the lighthearted laughter of his best friend. At that, Kinshiro felt a very hollowing and bitter pit begin to form inside him, stinging his throat and chest with a kind of pain that didn't cripple, but numbed.
"Stupid curry…" he whispered spitefully to himself, feeling betrayed that his best friend had ditched him to eat curry with a boy he barely knew. Mentally, there was a more logical part of him that said it wasn't a big deal, that he was being childish, that of course At-chan wouldn't invite someone who sickened at the smell of curry to go eat curry with him. But still…
…it hurt.
And for years after that, the little seed of hurt and insecurity took root in the form of a grudge, nurtured by the belief that his best friend—his only friend—had broken their oath, and soon grew into a monstrous, demented, all-consuming wrathful obsession that sunk its poison deep into his being and commanded his purpose for living. Perhaps a part of him always knew how childish, immature, ridiculous this occupation with ignoring yet obsessing over his former best friend was, but he was also stubborn and prideful to a fault. All his actions and decisions, including the decision to follow Zundar-sama and lead the Student Council to spread destruction, were always committed and calculated with At-chan in mind.
He wanted to hurt the other boy, make the other feel the same hurt and betrayal that he himself had felt at the unassuming hands of the latter.
Yet the more he obsessed, the more angry he only became, since Atsushi would never show any sort of reaction or acknowledgement that something had gone wrong between them. Kinshiro wanted to punch him every time he said 'Kin-chan' as if nothing had changed, as if he hadn't so callously abandoned their friendship and broken their oath.
And that hurt even more. That his childhood friend never even asked him what was wrong after the fact… just calmly accepted that he seemed to suddenly turn indifferent towards him. It wasn't long before Atsushi slowly and gradually forgot about him, having found a new best friend and new group of friends.
It was stupid, he knew. Stupidity and oversensitivity—although he'd never admit that out loud. But even that knowledge could never wash away the grudge.
'Ok… I've already cut the meat, diced the veggies and put them in the water… All that's left is the sauce…' he thought to himself as he went over his mental checklist. His face scrunched up warily as he eyed the curry sauce packet over to the right of the stove. '…maybe I will wait for the stuff to boil some more. The potatoes don't look quite soft enough yet,' he excused and tore his eyes away from the dreadful yet innocent looking sauce packet.
Even with a mask and two scarves wrapped securely around his face, he still wasn't sure he was ready for the smell to assault his senses yet again. Over the years, his stomach's aversion to the smell of curry had settled and he no longer felt the desire to puke upon a whiff of the sauce, but the hatred had lingered, though for a different reason. He found every reason to hate curry—the texture, the smell, the look—even though the real reason was only ever one. A few minutes passed in reverie before he shook himself out of the memories and steeled himself against the dread. He poked a potato cube with a cooking spoon and decided that if he left it in any longer, it would soon turn to mush.
Still eyeing the packet distastefully, he held it up between two fingers as though studying a grotesque specimen and swallowed heavily. 'If it's for At-chan and our friendship…'
'Here goes nothing…' He squeezed his eyes shut and ripped open the packet.
It had been a shocking surprise that fateful day when he'd slammed open the 'closet' door of the student council room—honestly, he'd never actually opened it before, come to think of it—only to find Atsushi clad in a ridiculously puffy costume with a big frilly bow and apron looking up at him, his face a reflection of Kinshiro's own surprised expression.
"Um….want some?" the blue-haired boy had been the one to break the silence, making the suggestion awkwardly while pointing at the curry pot.
And suddenly, years of pent up frustration and holding onto a grudge that grew unrestrained caused him to snap. "Who would stoop to eat something that vulgar?" he had bitten out harshly, and instantly transformed into Aurite, launching an attack at the vulgar and offensive pot of curry in the background.
Upon realization that Atsushi was actually Battle Lover Epinard, their nemesis since their conquest began, delight and bitterness seized him both at once. It was fate then, he'd decided, that they'd fight like this.
Their friendship had been fated to be doomed from the start.
Holding his breath for as long as possible, Kinshiro all but chucked in the little cubes of sauce after breaking them off. If some of the water splashed back onto his apron or sleeves, he couldn't care less. After the cubes were thrown in, he grabbed the ladle and began to stir.
'Hurry up and dissolve, dammit…' he mentally willed the cubes to die a miserable death in the boiling water. Of course, solid curry actually smelled less and looked cleaner than thick oozing curry sauce…but it still felt good to stab the blocks.
From behind his triple-layered defense, the former Aurite fighter could smell the beginnings of the curry stench seeping through. It didn't nauseate him, but it easily dredged up the feelings of hate, dread, anxiety, hurt that usually accompanied the memories.
He frowned and growled some more.
They'd battled hard and fierce, with annoying inserts from the bubbly blond—Yumino? Yumoto?—and both sides ultimately partook in the fight. During the battle, the normally cold and reserved student council president let all his anger, hurt and feelings spill forth like a storm—furious, relentless and desperate.
'Stir the curry every so often… ugh it's so goopy and gross…' Kinshiro thought to himself while watching with a shudder at how the sauce bubbled and foamed. As he watched, determination flared up inside him. He pulled off the two scarves that masked his face, then unhooked the face mask and tossed it aside. Slowly, he began to draw in a deep breath of the curry, trying to dissect it and understand why it might be so appealing to everyone and—more importantly—Atsushi. He leaned in more, eyes closed and brows furrowed.
Unfortunately, it was also in this moment that a particularly huge bubble decided to burst, splashing specks of burning hot curry sauce onto his face.
"Ahh!" he screamed out once while quickly moving to wipe his face.
He wasn't aware of the sound of rushed footsteps.
"Kin-chan? What happened?"
It was later, after that battle, much later, that one Yufuin En yanked him aside one day—he'd actually just marched into the student council office and dragged out a surprised, affronted and struggling Kusatsu Kinshiro while the other two council members stood by gaping.
"What—what are you doing? Unhand me, you great low-class brute—" he struggled furiously, trying to break the taller student's firm grip on his back collar. When he finally did manage to do so, he realized it was actually because the other had purposefully let go, forcing him to stumble and regain his footing before looking around and realizing they outside behind the school building. There was no one around. His eyes narrowed. "If you want vengeance or anything of that sort, Yufuin, I suggest you rethink the fact that I am still the Student Council President," he spoke evenly.
Yufuin snorted. "Like hell I would do something so troublesome," he muttered while scratching his head lazily. "Only you and your council would pull petty troublesome tricks like that," he stated bluntly.
"You—" Kinshiro started, indignation descending upon him once more.
The taller boy shook his head and gave a lazy wave gesturing the other to calm down. "Look—I'm talking to you for one reason and one reason only. Believe me, you're too much work for someone like me."
That stilled Kinshiro, whose expression suddenly turned somber and wary. "Did A— …Kinugawa send you?" he inquired lightly, though his anticipation of the answer was anything but.
A smirk pulled over Yufuin's lips. The slip-up didn't go unnoticed. "No. That guy is too clueless for things like this. Which is why I'm here in his stead." He leaned in closer than was comfortable for Kinshiro, who backed away instinctively with a grimace. "…you're still mad at Atsushi, aren't you?" he accused not unkindly, albeit bluntly.
Kinshiro stiffened, which was enough of an answer for the other. When Yufuin appeared satisfied with the response and retreated out of his face, Kinshiro let his shoulders sag as he gazed aside in shame and displeasure at being read so easily. He hadn't wanted to admit it out loud before, but was it really so evident that he still hadn't relinquished his grudge? After the events of the battle, Atsushi and he had come to a…not fully-mended, but still some form of tacit and reconciliatory understanding. Atsushi had smiled and offered a helping hand to Kinshiro. And though four years of strained relationship couldn't exactly be brushed aside with such a simple gesture, Atsushi seemed to think so and Kinshiro didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. Nevertheless, a tiny budling of hope began to blossom where the grudge had sat heavy in his heart for years, and for the moment, that had been enough.
And it ashamed Kinshiro to learn he was still childish enough to not be able to move forward with it. All of a sudden, the exhaustion of all the emotions draped over him and forced him to sigh. "I…"
A hand found its way to his shoulder, stoppering him of any further words. "It's ok… to feel unhappy. And hurt. It's not childish to feel. And you're…" Yufuin glanced upwards and furrowed his brows in an attempt to pull the right words. "Well… you're the sensitive type, aren't you."
Kinshiro bristled. "Who are you calling sensitive—?" he seethed, though immediately bit off his response, knowing that sounded much too defensive and only served to prove the lazy blonde's point. It wasn't as if he didn't know. Still…
Fortunately, Yufuin had enough insight and maturity—or perhaps it was his innate laziness—not to stoke the fire more and instead said, "It's not really a good or bad thing, despite what people seem to think. All I'm saying… is that whatever you are, Atsushi is the opposite of that. He's not the kind of guy that's very aware or perceptive of people's feelings, even though he will go out of his way to be considerate. How should I put it… he tries hard, but he doesn't often understand." Pale cerulean eyes glanced lazily in Kinshiro's direction, discerning the latter's reaction.
Kinshiro didn't respond.
"It wasn't so much that he hung out with someone else as much as the fact that he never asked you what was wrong, wasn't it?" For a tone so casual and calm, it was amazing how much sharpness the question could actually carry. Kinshiro winced and quickly passed it off as a frown.
"…what would you know…" he murmured even though the energy wasn't really there anymore.
A languid smile spread over Yufuin's lips. Seemingly dull eyes keenly observed the silver-haired boy's stance and reactions as Yufuin responded, "A lot, actually. Or at least, enough to know that, while what happened between the two of you might not make total sense to an outsider like me, it's clear that Atsushi's lack of perception is partially to blame for this." He rolled his head and gave a heavy sigh then threw up his arms in a gesture of futility. "I told him time and time again that he ought to be more aware… but unfortunately insight and perception is more born and keenly honed than simply picked up."
Not really knowing what to say to the blonde's criticism of his former friend's personality, Kinshiro remained silent.
"He thought he was doing what was best for you."
Kinshiro's eyes widened. "What… best for me… how—?" But Yufuin waved him off.
"Now that, is something you and Atsushi will have to sort out," he chastised with a light smile. However, a split-second later, that smile grew a few shades darker. "Oh but also—while I did say you weren't wrong or childish in feeling hurt, I will also say that your handling of your emotions and feelings was anything but. It was petty and childish of you to hold a grudge like that against Atsushi for so long while you sulked and wallowed in self-pity for so many years without once thinking about sorting it out with him. You never even got his side of the story. Then to wield that grudge like a scepter to wreak havoc on our campus? So that everyone can share in your misery? That was childish and pathetic. And if Atsushi's suffering was what you wanted, then you got it. Don't think that just because you didn't see him agonizing over the loss of his best friend's friendship, he didn't suffer. And I can't say I approve of anyone who had a conscious intent of hurting any friend of mine," he finished with a leveled gaze that was about as serious as the student council president had ever seen on him.
Kinshiro flushed a furious shade of crimson. There were so many conflicting emotions whirling within him. Indignation at being spoken to like a child and talked down to, shame at the realization that what the other said had been more or less true, disappointment that he couldn't have been better, didn't live up to what he could have been all these years, and finally, despair and anguish at the realization of the distance between himself and the person before him and Atsushi, that the latter two were so much better than he in being good students, people…friends.
Hollowly, Kinshiro wondered if he even deserved a second chance of friendship with his childhood friend. Even if the latter had offered a hand in reconciliation… Atsushi had Yufuin En now. He'd been replaced. He deserved to be replaced, so how could he ever hope to—
"Oy oy oy!" the other male cut in in exasperation and slight panic. "What's with that look? Jeez… I was just trying to help and—ok, I did want to tell you off a bit but… aw hell, Atsushi will kill me if I make his childhood friend cry…" He pushed a hand through his hair in vexation. "Sheesh… I knew this was way too much effort," he commented with a sigh.
Kinshiro harrumphed and sniffed. "No one's crying, idiot."
"Really? Looked like you were about to. Honestly, I'm mean just a little bit and people start crying…"
"I wasn't about to!"
"Ah ok, whatever. It's too much effort to argue with you."
"You—"
"Well…I should really get going before the rest of the club is off wondering where I am. Cause then I get hounded with annoying questions…sigh." He then turned to leave.
Kinshiro couldn't really say much aside from staring disbelievingly at the other walking away.
Before he rounded the corner, Yufuin looked over his shoulder and said, "Ah. Whatever useless and wallowing thoughts you have about not deserving Atsushi's friendship—" Kinshiro mentally cringed. How the hell did the other know? "…the guy still thinks of you as a precious friend. That should tell you something. He never stopped thinking that. You'd do well to remember that."
And finally, he was gone.
"Honestly… Kin-chan you're an absolute hazard in the kitchen…" Atsushi sighed while dabbing a wet cloth against the other male's face.
Kinshiro refused to look at him, face flushed in embarrassment and pale skin still dotted with specks of brown curry sauce at parts—honestly, he'd been embarrassed more times than he could count in the past month. Thinking about that more just furthered his hole of humiliation. He'd been sat down by an anxious Atsushi who'd been worried he'd been burned—which he wasn't, thankfully—and he hadn't quite work up the nerve to meet the other's eyes again out of sheer humiliation.
"Imagine the scare I had when the first thing I hear upon entering the front door is you screaming… jeez I think you shaved off a good few years of my life." He sighed. "There, all done," he said before standing up and walking over to the sink to rinse the cloth. "By the way—why were you cooking curry? I thought you hated it," he asked perplexed.
"…shdv bna sprise.." Kinshiro muttered under his breath.
"Hah?" Atsushi yelled back over the running faucet. "What'd you say?"
"I said, It SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SURPRISE FOR AT-CHAN!" Kinshiro yelled just as the water turned off. For a second, neither really moved. Atsushi simply stared at Kinshiro while the latter sat there huffing. When the realization of what he actually had yelled out swept over him, Kinshiro once again found himself blushing.
"…that's the first time you've called me 'At-chan' since…" Atsushi quietly spoke, a gently smile playing on his lips. Warm brown eyes met emerald, and Kinshiro had to break eye contact due to the level of discomfort he was getting from such an earnest and heartwarming look.
Knowing he was caught and that there was nothing more that the other could learn that would be more embarrassing, Kinshiro sighed and confessed, "…I wanted to cook At-chan some curry… I wanted to get over my…stupid…dislike for curry because At-chan always loved it so much. And it was because of curry that I lost…" He shook his head. "...well, I wanted to make curry help us with our… relationship…" He gave a halfhearted gesture at the word 'relationship', hesitant on actually using the word 'friendship' since—
He was instantly tackled in a hug. "Baka Kin-chan…" Atsushi reprimanded harshly yet tenderly next to Kinshiro's ear, his breath tickling it as he spoke. "Curry never actually did anything, kay? You never lost anything, because I never stopped being your friend." He pulled away smiling. Reaching up to lift his glasses and wipe away some tears that had formed at his eyes, Atsushi continued, "We were stupid for a bit. Confused. But hey, you're still Kin-chan to me. You don't have to make up for anything, kay? Just be by my side again, alright?"
Kinshiro's shoulders sagged. "I… yes, alright," he promised, a flicker of the childhood oath they made blinking into mind. He managed a faint smile at his once more friend. "Yeah."
Atsushi beamed widely. "And I won't leave Kin-chan alone again. Next time if you go off sulking in a corner, I will hound you until I get a response, got it?" he demanded with mock pouty seriousness, to which Kinshiro laughed gently, the sound surprising the bespectacled boy. "Kin-chan…" he breathed, nostalgia and happiness bubbling up within. A smile won over the outside. "It's good to hear you laugh again," he commented softly.
Only then did Kinshiro seem to realize he'd been laughing and stopped abruptly. He harrumphed. "I laughed at your club's demise all the time," he pointed out even though both of them knew that hadn't been what Atsushi had meant.
"Meanie," Atsushi pouted. Then, "Hey since you worked so hard to make that curry, shall we eat it?"
Kinshiro blinked. Then paleness washed over his face. "Well…you said…well that we didn't need curry…" he protested weakly.
"Yeah, but you worked so hard for it. Plus, you said it yourself, right? You wanted to try it again. Hey it won't be poisoned this time! And you might really like it! And if you do, I know a couple of curry places that could be to your liking then! They're not super spicy, since I know you're not a huge fan of spicy food in general—"
"…At-chan…"
"—but if you are now, that's fine too. There's also varying degrees of sauce thickness and consistency, and if too much thickness isn't to your liking, we can go for a lighter one—"
"…At-chan I really don't—"
"—oh! And there's a really good deal at the place that has the lighter thickness on Tuesdays. They do a discount for high school students. As long as you bring your student ID it's 20% off and— oh I guess you're not really well-versed in the varying elements of curry. Well, the sauce itself is obviously the most important part, although the ingredients are just as important. Er… yeah. And the texture of the sauce is very important. Good curry sauce lingers in your mouth just the right amount of time—too short and it tastes like soup where as too long and it feels like you're sucking on a potato, and—"
Mentally, Kinshiro sighed. But seeing the excitement on his best friend's face, he decided he would just let it be.
He smiled. 'I suppose it's not too bad…a lesson in curry."
~End
Notes: And there's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed a little tidbit of pre-slash (or just friendship) Atsukin/kinatsu! I have to say I'm a much bigger atsukin shipper than enatsu. Probably because the only element of seriousness in the show revolved around Kinshiro and Atsushi's friendship/relationship. Although En and Atsushi are very good friends, there's something more enticing and heartbreaking about Kinshiro and Atsushi's relationship, so I wanted to add more of that to the fandom.
Hopefully more others will follow! Since this is written after episode 11 and before the final episode…I took the liberty of writing in what I believe will, more or less, happen while not hammering in too much on the details.
