Oliver will never forget the night Felicity told him she was leaving.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise. Things between them hadn't been the easiest since their disastrous first, and only, date. Since Oliver pushed her away. But she's stayed, helping his cause with as much dedication as ever despite the wedge between them, and part of him must have been convinced that she would never leave, even though she had told him outright that she wouldn't wait for him, that she wanted more out of her life than crime fighting from a basement. But when she told him, told him that Ray Palmer was leaving for Coast City and that she was going with him, it was a shock.

He remembers the tears in her eyes, knows there were tears in his eyes too. She walked over to him, where he was standing stock still and mouth open not knowing what to say, she put her hands on his chest and reached up to kiss his cheek. She told him, "I'll always believe in you Oliver" her voice soft, just above a whisper. She gave him one last sad smile, then turned and walked away, out of the foundry, out of his life. When the door slammed shut behind her, he cried.

It was better this way, that's what he kept telling himself anyway. It didn't matter that he felt like an empty shell, felt that part of him was missing. He couldn't be with her, she deserved to be happy, this was for the best. And after days, weeks, months of telling himself that, he actually started to believe it. He learned to function without her, the team learned to function without her. Diggle took up her post, as best as he could. She helped John when he needed it, taught him what she could, Oliver knew the two were still in touch, but she never talked to him, and he didn't talk to her. It was easier that way.

Without really knowing how it happened, Oliver fell back into bed with Laurel. She was there, he felt empty, they fell into an old pattern. Laurel was a lot less romantic about it now. Oliver was simultaneously glad about it (because he couldn't offer her anything more, he couldn't offer her a real relationship) and sad that she had become so jaded. At least he wasn't lying to her this time.

On the surface, Oliver's life post Felicity was very much life his life before. He fought crime as the Arrow, he ran Verdant with Thea, and spent way too much of his free time in the basement hiding from his feelings. But on the inside, it was like all the colour of life had dulled, faded. And the longer Oliver looked at life that way, the more normal it became, to see life without colour. It was how he moved on, to ignore what was missing, and he managed it for almost a year.

Until the day Felicity came back.