Chapter 3
"So how are you…" the nurse started as she entered the room and saw the bed was empty. She glanced in the bathroom but saw it empty too. "Sam, wake up!" she urged Sam shaking his shoulder.
"Mm-mm what the…" Sam asked trying to push the cotton out of his head and pry his tongue from the roof of his mouth. He frowned and focused on the nurse trying to comprehend what she was telling him.
"Where's your brother, Dean?" she asked him pointing at the bed as Sam followed her pointing finger.
"He's…" Sam started and saw the bed empty. "Damnit! He must of drugged me." he growled angrily looking at the cup of water. Jumping up, he headed out the door and toward the elevator. "Come on." he twitched waiting for it to come as he shook his body trying to throw off the sluggishness.
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Dean saw his Baby parked in a small lot off the side of the hospital. He slowly made his way toward it catching his breath as his stitches pulled and his vision blurred slightly. Feeling under the back fender, he pulled out his spare key. Sammy thought he was so smart, he didn't know Dean had placed a spare key on the car.
Opening the door, he sat down glad to be off his feet. Twisting his body into the car sent waves of pain coursing throughout his body, causing black spots dance in front of his eyes as he almost passed out. Nothing came into focus for several minutes as he looked out the windshield. Won't do that again, he thought dragging in a shallow breath. He put the keys in the ignition and helplessly looked at the open door trying to figure out how the hell he was going to get it closed without ripping stitches.
He slipped his cell out and sent a text to Jonah that plans had changed and he didn't need to pick the Impala up and deliver it to Sam. That done, he sat in the car breathing as deeply as he could, trying to relax and control his pain.
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"Real cute, Dean." Sam said giving him the best bitch face he could muster. Dean looked perturbed into Sam's face, mad at being caught. "Where do you think you're going?"
"Anywhere but here."
"You drugged my water, didn't you?" he accused.
"So, didn't hurt you none."
"Damnit Dean! You nearly died and…"
"Can it Sammy, I'm fine."
"Ok, then close this door." he said stepping back and watching Dean bite his lip as he tried to reach out and pull the door shut. He only succeeded in doubling over in pain and cursing under his breath.
"Well?" Sam asked, standing with his arms crossed and tapping his foot on the ground.
"I hate you."
Dean grunted trying to move into a more comfortable sitting position in the car. He was not going back into the hospital no matter what Sam said. Now that he was out, he was staying out.
"Get over it, come on we're going back inside."
"No, we, are not."
"Yes, you are."
"I'm checking myself out."
"Like hell you are."
"Been there, didn't like it very much." he stated glaring at Sam daring him to rebuke that.
"Dean, you're acting like a total dick and way to childish."
"Bite me."
"Fine!" Sam yelled slamming the car door shut causing Dean to glare fiercely at him. "Go ahead; see how far you get before wrecking your precious Baby."
This got Dean's attention quicker than anything he could of said. There was no way he would put his Baby in harm's way. He hated being wrong, especially with his little brother. He was the strong one; he wouldn't let his injuries stop him from leaving.
"And what were you going to do once you left?"
"Find some place to hole up."
"And if you couldn't?"
"I'd think of something."
"Drop the tough guy act Dean, let me help." Sam sighed knowing the unresolved issues between them were not helping matters.
"Why do you care? I thought this was business only? Why did you help me anyway? Why did you even come looking for me? I mean, you would go for days and not see me except maybe in passing, what changed?" he spat at him with his pent up rage. Dean clenched is lips and cussed himself. Crap, why couldn't he keep his mouth shut, he thought. He didn't mean for that to come out as rough as it did.
Sam stumbled back slightly as his face darkened in anger and tried to hide the hurt from his brother's words. He looked his brother in the eye, turned and walked away. Dean saw the hurt look on Sam's face and kicked himself. He let his head fall on his chest and furred his brow before reaching to start the car. He had to figure what he was going to do now. He would not go back to the bunker and the way it was before. He guessed his harsh words just drove Sam away for good.
Being lost in thought and trying to push the pain down, he didn't notice Sam was back until he jerked the door open startling him from his thoughts.
"Move over, I'm driving. Sam ordered all emotions gone from his voice. "I signed you out, got you some pain meds; you're in no shape to drive anywhere."
Dean reluctantly and painfully shifted his body over to the passenger side. Sam slid behind the wheel, opened the meds and gave Dean a couple of white pills and a bottle of water. He swallowed the pills with a sip of water and looked down at his feet not sure what to say to Sam. Sam pulled out of the lot and on the highway heading out of town.
After several silent miles, Dean could feel the meds starting to pull him under and had to say something before he allowed that to happen. "Sammy, what I said." he mumbled trying to stay alert. "Didn't mean…" he tried to continue, but the drugs pulled him under and he was lost in the darkness before he could finish his sentence.
Sam's shoulders slumped slightly as he listened to his brother trying to apologize. He knew Dean was angry and in pain and that made him lash out. He jerked a blanket from the back and tossed it over him for warmth. They needed to talk, but only after Dean healed and was able to have a civil conservation, if that was possible for them.
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Sam eased the car off the road and into the gas station. He looked over at Dean seeing he was still out. He filled the car and went in the store for a pit stop and couple of waters. He shook a couple more pills out and shook Dean's shoulder gently. "Dean you need to take some more meds."
"Mm-mm" he jerked winching as he turned his head toward the voice, not really seeing who was talking to him.
"Open up, do you need to hit the head?"
Dean shook his head no before he opened his mouth far enough for Sam to slip the pills in and to sip some water. He swallowed most of the water what didn't drip down his chin. Sam used the blanket to wipe his chin and then tucked it back around his neck. He figured it would be an easier trip on both of them if he kept him sedated until he stopped for the night. Sam flipped on the radio and found a station playing mellow music and turned the volume down as he listened to the melody flow around them.
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Sam found a motel as the sun was sinking below the horizon. He was lucky they had a room on the first floor and no steps to deal with. He grabbed bags out of the trunk and tossed them into the room before going back to get Dean inside.
He carefully opened the door being sure Dean wouldn't fall out. "Dean, wake up, we're stopping for the night." he called leaning back and shaking his shoulder carefully. He had been the brunt of too many right jabs when waking his brother when they were growing up, not to be cautious.
"What…" he jerked regretting it as soon as he moved. Dean sucked in a breath and bit his lower lip trying to determine where he was and what was going on.
"I got us a room, can you make it?"
"Give me a sec." he grunted trying to shake off the effects of the drugs.
"Hold on to my arm." Sam offered not sure if he would accept his help or not.
"Sonofabitch!" he hissed trying to get his stiff body out of the car without tearing out his stitches. Getting his feet under him was harder than he expected, but stubborn was his middle name and he managed to get out.
"It's not far, easy, don't bump your arm. Bed or chair?" he asked as they stepped through the doorway.
"Bathroom."
"Ok, to the left, I got a handicap room so there should be more space."
"Got it." Dean grunted letting go of Sam's arm and closing the door in his face. Sam waited at the door for a second, listening for a thump. When it didn't come, he busied himself getting the bed ready for Dean.
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Dean finished and turned the water on looking at his reflection in the mirror. The face staring back was one he didn't recognize. He could see the dark coloring of a bruise on the side of his face, gauze covering a wound, several days' growth of beard, dark circles under his eyes and eyes that had a glazed, drug inducted state.
He blinked slowly several times and splashed water on his face before sipping some, swishing it around in his mouth and spitting it back out. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton and tasted like someone slipped him a rotten egg.
"You ok in there?" his younger brother called through the door.
"Yeah, yeah." he answered opening the door and looking around.
"Bed or chair?"
"Chair, where are we?"
"About half way, will you be ok while I get us something to eat?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Requests, what do you think you can eat?"
The thought of food right now made Dean's stomach churn uncomfortably. Sam saw Dean grimace and pale slightly.
"Why don't I get some soup, maybe crackers?"
He just nodded not trusting his voice to answer. The last thing he wanted to start puking. Sam grabbed the room key and headed out the door.
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Juggling the bags and drinks, Sam got the door opened and stepped inside looking over to see Dean still sitting at the table staring off into space. He knew the pain meds were keeping Dean sluggish. He began to take the food from the bags dividing it. He sat a chef salad to one side for himself and soup, baked potato and crackers for Dean. Dean looked at the food knowing he should eat, but his stomach didn't seem to agree with him.
"Try a couple of crackers at least." Sam suggested opening a packet for him.
Steadying his nerves, Dean took a bite and chewed slowly. His mouth was so dry he couldn't force it down his throat.
"Drink." Sam stated as he pushed a drink within Dean's reach. He gratefully sucked liquid into his mouth letting it wash the cracker down.
"Thanks."
"How're you feeling and don't say fine."
"Sore, stiff, headache, feels like I got run over by a freight train."
"Any trouble breathing?"
"No, just have to be careful."
"Try a little potato."
"Don't rush me."
"You need to eat so you can get your strength back."
"I'm working on it." he hissed forking a small amount of potato and popping it in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, waiting to see if his stomach was going to revolt or allow him to eat. He tried another bite, pausing to sip the drink again. He waited, making sure it would stay down before taking another bite. He stopped and let the food settle in his stomach.
"Why did you do it?" Sam asked quietly keeping his eyes focused on his salad. He couldn't look at his brother as he questioned him about the hunt.
"Do what Sammy?"
"Go after a Rougarou, by yourself. You know how dangerous they are Dean. I know you remember the one we took down with Dad. It took all three of us to do it."
"It was killing and needed to be stopped."
"Damnit Dean, you could have gotten yourself killed."
"Can we do this later?" Dean whispered feeling his stomach clench and bile rise in the back of his throat. Sam saw his distress and didn't press the issue, but this wasn't over by any means. He would find out why Dean did what he did, it was like he wanted to die. Was that the case? Was this what he had driven Dean toward? Sam pushed these thoughts back, knowing Dean needed his help.
"I need to check your injuries before you lay down." Sam told him changing the subject for now.
"Ok." he said quietly all the fight gone out of him now.
"Try to drink some more, you don't need to get dehydrated."
Dean obeyed without arguing, taking several more sips before stopping. He calmed himself and swallowed the taste of bile that lingered in the back of his throat. I won't throw up, he told himself sternly, not in front of little brother at least.
"Let me check the wounds, then you need to rest." Sam said pushing his chair back and going to the bathroom to wash up.
Sam pulled the shirt off Dean's shoulder and down his right arm. He sucked in a deep breath seeing for the first time the extent of the injures. There were dark ugly bruises over most of his back, what he could see at least. His back, side, and arm had large pads covering the gashes from the attack. The doctors had closed the incision where the chest tube had been with several neat stitches. Dean stiffened and the nerve in his jaw twitched and his body tensed, going into protection mode.
"Relax; I need to move your arm." Sam said removing the sling and taking his arm at the wrist and elbow bringing it up slowly. Dean jerked, trying to pull it back to his body to protect it. "Stop it! I need to do this, now relax." Sam miffed at him.
Dean's body was rigid as Sam finished removing his shirt. He felt hands taking the injured arm and gently pull it from his side. Pain shot from his arm and ran down his back making him shiver. He tried to pull it back again, but Sam had a firm hold. Black spots swam in front of his eyes as he tried not to pass out. He could here his brother talking, but couldn't understand the words. He was far, far away and all he could see was Sam's moving lips.
"Dean are you hearing me? Let me move your arm, you need to let me do it." Sam urged.
"Hey, are you hearing me?" he continued getting down at face level. "Dean!"
Dean tried to focus on the voice to bring himself back from the brink. Finally his brother's face swam into view.
"Stay with me Dean. I'll be done in a minute."
"Tryin'."
"I need to do this so the arm doesn't stiffen up on you."
"Know." he gritted as Sam carefully moved his arm.
"Breath 'fore you pass out." Sam insisted as he peeled the bandage down to check the wound. He didn't see any swelling or redness and went around to check his back and side. Last, he looked at his head wound. They all looked good for now. Sam grabbed a button up shirt out of his bag and began to slip it carefully over Dean's hurt arm. "Here, put this on, it'll be looser." Grabbing the pill bottle he shook one out. "I'm only giving you one to see how you do; maybe you won't be so out of it."
Dean accepted the pill, taking one more sip of his drink to wash it down. His body shook on its own before he could stop it. This didn't escape Sam's watchful gaze as he helped him to the bed. After Dean got comfortable, Sam threw an extra blanket over his body. He laid a cool hand on his forehead felling a slight elevation in his temperature. Sam felt Dean turn slightly toward his hand and left it there for a moment feeling the connection they had always had just out of reach, but not close enough for him to latch onto.
The bed felt so good as Dean relaxed into it. The stress of the past days seemed to drain out of him as he tried to move into a comfortable position. He felt the pressure of cool skin on his forehead and turned to it. He knew comfort in that touch, but it bothered him, he was suppose to be on the giving not receiving end. He was the big brother, it was his job to protect, but right now he felt useless. He could feel the meds kicking in, drawing him into the swirling mist of sleep.
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It was easier to come back this time, when Dean's eyes fluttered opened and he surveyed the room. He saw his baby brother passed out on the other bed still fully clothed. He was snoring softly as Dean shifted trying to swing his legs off the bed so he could sit up. Biting back a groan, he panted heavily as he balanced on the edge of the bed for a second. Every stitch pulled when he got to his feet swaying unsteadily. He needed to use the bathroom and didn't want to wake Sam for something that simple. Sliding his feet across the carpet he inched his way toward the door that seemed so fare away.
"Dean, what the hell, why didn't you wake me?" Sam complained jumping up and grabbing his arm before he fell.
"I can do it." he fussed throwing off his hand.
"Let me help you before you face plant."
"Fine!" he gritted out accepting his help.
"Lean on me, I don't want you pulling your stitches out."
"I got it now." he said pushing the door closed.
"Do you want another pain pill?" Sam asked through the door.
"No, they make me feel too drugged."
"Dean quit being a hard ass and take it."
"I said I was ok." he growled opening the door five minutes later.
"Well you don't look it. Do you feel like leaving or going back to bed?"
"What time is it?"
"Five am."
"Let's leave." he said sitting in a chair and drawing in a shallow breath.
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Sam looked over at Dean as the scenery flashed by the passenger window. He had gone back to sleep thirty minutes into the drive. He still couldn't get him to take the pain meds, but at least he agreed to some aspirin for the fever he was running. His brother could be hardheaded and that worried him. Dean had been through some major pain and suffering in his life. He knew how to hide it so no one else saw. No matter what was thrown at him, he just kept pushing on.
The doctor told him to watch for signs of fever and infection. He must have missed cleaning a wound with holy water, so there was no telling the germs the claws could have left. He planned on checking them more thoroughly once they got back to the bunker. Hopefully, between now and then the fever wouldn't get worse.
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Dean's eyes flickered back and forth under his lids as he relived a hunt from years ago. It had not gone as planned and Sam and him were both hurt pretty bad. He took the brunt of the injuries protecting Sam as best he could. His body jerked and he moaned as he saw himself thrown across the warehouse. Then images fast forwarded to Dean being torn apart by hell hounds and chained to the rack in hell. Unseen images slashed at him carving him up like a Thanksgiving turkey. He was jerked awake with Sam patting his face lightly and calling to him.
"Damnit Dean wake up, you're dreaming." Sam called to him. Dean realized they were stopped on the side of the road. He looked over at a concerned Sam who was eyeing him warily. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah, it was nothing." he huffed wiping sweat from his face as his heart still raced.
"That wasn't nothing. I thought you were going to jump out of the car."
Dean looked away and tried to slow down his breathing as his pounding head got worse. He looked around in the seat for his bottle of water before looking back at Sam.
"Aspirin?"
"Here."
Sam pulled the bottle out of his coat pocket and shook three into Dean's waiting hand. His hand shook at he popped them in his mouth and followed them with water. Sam didn't comment on his shaking as he pulled the car back onto the road. His brother ignored him and withdrew more into himself pulling the blanket tighter around his cold body.
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They made it back to the bunker without further incidents. Sam pulled into the garage and parked the Impala where Dean liked to leave it. He went around to Dean's side, opening the door and waiting for him to move on his own.
Dean stilled himself as he swung his legs out and used the frame to pull himself up. The world started swimming for a moment as he tried to steady himself. Sam tensed waiting to see if he needed to assist, knowing his brother wanted to do it himself and would insist on it.
"I need to change your bandages and check the wounds. I think I missed cleaning one with holy water."
"Can't it wait, maybe tomorrow?"
"No, it needs to be done now. I'll use the bathroom near your room."
"Fine!" he muttered pushing off the car and walking unsteadily toward the bedroom area with Sam hovering close behind him.
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His body wanted to rebel as he ground his teeth and willed himself to put one foot in front of the other. He would not show weakness, he could do this, Dean thought. The bathroom was only twenty feet away; he paused for a moment putting his hand out to steady himself with the wall. He used the last of his strength to continue to the bathroom.
Sam stood by the bathroom door waiting, letting Dean set his own pace. He finally stepped into the room and Sam guided him to a chair he had sitting by the cabinet. Dean sat down too hard and winced.
"Here, drink."
Sam wanted to get holy water in him to hopefully attack the poison inside his body. Dean accepted the glass and downed it in a couple of long swallows.
He helped him remove his shirt and tossed it aside. "I'm going to take these pads off and check for infection first."
Dean grunted and let his head hang forward on his chest. It was all he could to keep himself upright letting Dr. Sam work his magic. Too many times in their lifetime one or the other had to bandage up or stitch up the other.
His body felt warm, but he could feel a chill going up his spine even thought Sam had the heat going full blast. Sam started with the head wound, peeling the tape off and examining it with a critical eye. Taking a cloth soaked in holy water he cleaned it and then used peroxide.
"Hey, I'm dripping here nurse Samantha."
"Sorry, almost done with this one."
"Good."
Sam continued to Dean's left arm holding it over the sink so he could pour holy water and then peroxide.
"The stitches can come out in a couple more days." He only replaced the pad for the incision after giving it a once over.
"Good, they're starting to itch."
"Don't scratch. Turn around in the chair so I can get to your back." Sam instructed him, stepping back to let him get up.
Dean held on to the cabinet as he turned to straddle the chair exposing his back.
Sam put a towel on the back of the chair to make it more comfortable for his brother. He looked around in one of the drawers and found the ear thermometer. "Hold still; let me check your temp."
"Sam." Dean whined pulling his head away from Sam.
"Got it." Sam said looking at the reading 100.8. He frowned and turned back to his brother's back. He began removing the pads down his back and across his left shoulder and then he saw it on the lower part of his back. He could see swelling and redness at the bottom of one of the cuts. Not good, that was going to need draining.
"Dean, I need to open and clean an area. This is going to be uncomfortable."
"Just do it." Dean said preparing his body for what Sam needed to do.
Picking up scissors, he snipped the lower stitches, removing them with tweezers. After sterilizing a pen knife and stilling his hand, he took it and opened the incision enough to let yellowish pus and blood flow out. He could feel Dean tense under his touch as he pressed on either side of the open wound before carefully wiping it and pouring holy water over it, catching the overflow on a towel.
Grabbing a clean hand towel, he tucked it into Dean's pants. Sam poured peroxide slowly over the wound and watch it bubble furiously. He did this several times until there was no bubbling and it ran clear.
"I got it cleaned now, so I'm going to sew it up."
"How bad?"
"Only need to put six or seven stitches. Looks like the only place and then you can rest."
Sam expertly pushed the needle through his brother's skin catching the other side and pulling the opening closed. Sam bit his lower lip as he concentrated on his neat stitching.
"Done yet?" he muffled resting his head on the towel.
"Yes, do you want a pain pill?"
"No, I can handle it."
"You need to take some aspirin at least, try and keep this fever down."
"Yes mother."
"I'll get you another of my shirts." he commented heading down the hall to his room.
He jerked another button up out of his drawer and headed back to the bathroom to find it empty. Panic set in for a moment as he looked up and down the hall and crossed to Dean's bedroom. He found him sitting on the bed with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.
Walking slowly over to him, he slipped it from his grasp and sat it on the nightstand. Dean let him slip his hurt arm into the sleeve of the shirt and pull it around and onto the other one. After buttoning it, Sam rested his hand on Dean's shoulder for a moment before Dean pulled away and lay down.
"Look, I'm going to take a quick shower and I'll be back to check on you."
"I'm fine." Dean said void of any emotion. He closed his eyes shutting Sam out.
Sam draped a blanket over his prone body before turning off the overhead light and switching on the small lamp on the nightstand, also taking the whiskey bottle with him. He paused briefly at the door and looked back one more time at Dean's still body.
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Sam pulled a chair closer to Dean's bed as he made himself comfortable. He had showered and changed clothes and felt a little more human. He carefully placed his palm on Dean's forehead, feeling heat before it made complete contact. He felt warmer than before and concern crossed over his face. Sam wrung out the cloth and laid it across his forehead. He sat back rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes wanting to get some rest, but not feeling comfortable leaving his brother alone. Beside him being sick, he was afraid Dean would try and leave again.
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Dean tried his best to not sleep, but his body needed rest. As he sunk deeper into sleep, images floated in his mind he couldn't quite lock on to. He tried to focus on them, but quick burst of pain kept them at bay. The pain was making it hard to breath and he started wheezing trying to draw more oxygen into his deprived lungs.
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Sam had nodded off in the chair, when he heard small panicked cries coming from Dean. His body was trembling and twitching under the blanket as Sam sat down beside him. He laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. Dean jerked under his touch and mumbled something he couldn't quite understand. Sam rubbed his back, careful of his injuries, trying to get Dean to calm down.
"Hey, I'm here, calm down." Sam said calmly. "Dean, can you hear me?"
Dean rolled his head back and forth trying to fight his way back. With some difficulty, Sam managed to get behind Dean and pull him up on his chest where he could hug him. Dean's head rested on Sam's heart. Hearing the heartbeat seemed to make Dean calm slightly. That steady beat seemed to scare his demons away. Sam continued to talk softly to Dean as he listened to his breathing even out and his body relax into his. He pulled the blanket over both of them and tried to settle down still holding his brother close. Sam's eyelids grew heavy as his breathing slowed and he drifted away on the stormy clouds of sleep.
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Dean could hear a slow, steady noise in his ear as he swam toward consciousness. His senses were waking up, he could hear the beat, he could feel warmth, he could smell a familiar scent, cracking his eyes, he could just make out the outline of his brother's chin. Frowning and determining he was lying on his brother's chest, he started trying to push off.
"Dean, lay still." Sam mumbled rubbing his back automatically trying to get him to settle back down.
"Sam, let me up." Dean grunted. Sam woke up more as Dean was pushing up off his chest.
"What's wrong?"
"What happened?"
"You were having a nightmare and I tried to calm you so you wouldn't tear open the stitches."
"Oh." he said easing down beside him. Sam felt his forehead checking for fever.
"You're not as hot, probably wouldn't hurt to take some more aspirin." he commented more to himself than to Dean. Sam got up, grabbed the bottle and shook two out. He gave them to Dean along with some water. With Sam's help he raised up long enough to take the pills and a sip of water.
"How long was I out?"
"Er-er four hours or so. Need anything?"
"No, maybe I'll try to rest a little longer."
"Ok, I'll go fix us something to eat."
Dean watched him leave his bedroom and closed his eyes trying to remember, he flashed back to the hunt. He had been badly injured and Sam had found him. He told Sam to let him die, but he didn't. He had tended his wounds and got him to the hospital. What he couldn't understand was after all that truth talk Sam spouted, why did he do it? Why was he taking care of him? He tried to rest until Sam returned to the bedroom.
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"Hey how 'bout some food?" Sam asked.
He sat a tray down and turned helping Dean sit up putting pillows behind him. He sat the tray in his lap arranging the food so Dean could easily reach it.
Dean looked down at the sandwiches, chips and drinks. Sam scooted the chair closer and took a plate balancing it on his lap so he could eat. Dean watched him take a bite of his sandwich chewing slowly.
"Sam what are you doing?" he asked quietly running a finger over the sandwich.
"What?" Sam asked looking up from the bite he was about to take.
"This? We've barely spoken in months and now…"
"You're hurt, you need help."
"So after I'm better, we just go back the way it was? Walking around each other, ignoring each other like total strangers?" Dean questioned Sam.
"Dean I…"
"You wanted truth, I asked you to let me die out there, why didn't you do what you said? Let me die."
"I never wanted to you die Dean, you went on a suicide mission hoping to die. You didn't want to come back from that hunt because if I hadn't found you, you would be dead right now." Sam said angrily as his voice got louder and harsher. "You bastard, you were going to be sure that monster hurt you enough that you wouldn't survive it. And you won't convince me otherwise. If I hadn't found you, I would probably never have known what happened to you. You would do that to me?"
"Sam, man, you can't have it both ways. You either don't talk and ignore me or we talk and decide if we stay together or go our separate ways. Just give me a day to rest and I can be out of here. I can't take the way we were, if that's how it's going to be, there's nothing left here for me." he stated looking directly at his brother being sure he understood the meaning of his words. "Just so you know, I contacted a hunter friend to pick the Impala up and bring it to you. I wouldn't be that cruel."
Sam stiffened at his response not sure what to say as he dropped his sandwich on his plate and swallowed back the lump that was forming in his throat. He knew he had pushed Dean farther than he should have. He destroyed his big brother. He took away what was most important in his life, himself. Sam was his reason to keep on living. He saw that now, Dean was his big brother, his friend, his co-worker, his protector; he had been both mom and dad to him growing up. He felt shame and guilt over the emotional hurt and pain he had caused his brother.
"Dean, look…man…what can I say to make this right? I know I hurt you, but Dean, you've got to understand, so much has been taken from me. My choices have not been my own for nearly my entire life, I have to make my own decisions where my life is going, I'm not that kid anymore that you need to constantly look after, you need to let me grow up." he begged hoping his brother will listen to him for once. "Let me decide my fate."
Dean slid the tray aside and tried to turn to face his brother. Sam quickly set his plate down and assisted him in sitting on the edge of the bed. Dean took a shaky breath weighting the words Sam had said before looking up at him.
"Sammy, I hear you, I do. I know you don't need me anymore, but it's hard to stop doing something I've been doing my whole life, looking out for my baby brother. We've been nothing but pawns for Heaven and Hell and those in between. We've been used and abused by the worst of them, but we always found a way to overcome it all. You know how, because we stood side by side, together. We're stronger together than we ever were apart. You know it and I know it."
"I just want to make it right again. I will always need my big brother in my life, just understand I can take care of myself, you don't need to protect me from everything. You need to take care of yourself. Dean, this mark, we have no idea what it's going to do to you. I could lose you and I don't want that to happen." Sam sobbed softly noticing Dean rub his arm where the mark was and not even know he was doing it.
"Hey, we'll get thru this together, ok?" Dean replied pulling his brother into an embrace. Sam allowed Dean to hold him before putting his arms around him, returning the embrace. This was how it should be, them together, facing whatever fate threw at them, good or bad. Together they would figure it out and keep each other sane. The road might be a rough one, but that was how it usually was for them and they would come out of the box swinging.
The End
A/N: So there you have it, I hope everyone enjoyed my take on the truth talk. Thank you so much for all who are following, who have favored and have left me reviews. I do enjoy hearing from my readers and finding out your thoughts on my writing. This is why I continue to write for you guys. You make my days more bearable.
NC
