Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls. I also have no claim on the Monster Falls concept, which was conceived by its various creators.

Monster Shack

A Plaything of the Mind

"Well that was satisfying," Bill said leaving Stan Pines writhing on the floor as he continued into the lab. The red light of the glowing portal colored the lab, debris being ejected at the moment.

"Still, perhaps a tad too easy? I mean sure it was effective but this sneak preview needs something with class and panache. Something that will leave them on the edge of their seats," the demon mused, if he had a chin he would be tapping it.

"Hm hmmm. What do you think?" he asked the transforming man. He nodded at the scream of pain and curse from the Elder Pines on the floor.

"Interesting, interesting. But I have a better idea. Don'ty go anywhere now!" Bill said. The glowing golden triangle vanished in a flash of light. A blood shot eye and a glowing yellow one fixed on a large lever before being stricken by a new wave of pain.

XXX

The day was bright with summer sunshine, and the flashes of cameras.

"Ladies, please control yourselves!" Dipper laughed charmingly, calming the fan girls amidst the press of reporters as his conference on the revealed mysteries of Gravity Falls. It was easy to look out over an adoring crowd like this when you were this tall.

What could he say, genetics smiled on some people.

"Alright one more question you in the back," Dipper said pointing to an extended hand.

"B. Cipher The Wish Fulfillment Derailer," the one eyed reporter said.

"Uh, can't say I have heard of that paper. Is it a magazine?" Dipper asked scratching his stubbled chin with a manly fingernail.

"Nooo, but it is happening right now!" Bill proclaimed unzipping his disguise and the scene shattering. Dipper stood in the void shocked then raising his fists.

"Bill! But I banished you for good!" Dipper shouted.

"Haha. Slow on the uptake tonight, eh Pine Tree? Well, let me bring things back into perspective.

With a snap of Bill's black stick fingers, Dipper was back to normal.

"Ah man," Dipper muttered looking at his once again noodle arms.

"What do you want Bill? I'm not making any deals with you," Dipper said.

"Deal? Oh no you're playing with the wrong edition. There are no deals here.

"But as I love games, and messing with people is more fun when there is a chance to escape; I will offer a challenge.

"Your clue is; 'Yes, it can.' Pine Tree," Biller said floating about.

"What can? What are you talking about, You can't do anything unless a mortal makes a deal with you. That a fact," Dipper asserted.

"Eh, facts only matter as part of reality," Bill said as a door appeared. The six fingered crest carved into it.

"What are you doing? Okay Dipper time to wake up, he can't affect reality without a deal," Dipper said getting nervous.

"Oh? Tell that to your worst fear," Bill said opening the door and letting Dipper feast his eyes on what laid within. As Dipper screamed Bill glanced in, his eye narrowed.

"Really? Being a moron? All the horrors you meet and that's your pick? Boring," Bill declared, as blue fire engulfed his hands.

"And, ka-zap!" Bill pronounced zapping Dipper with the blue fire.

"This… is not real!" Dipper insisted through gritted teeth, hearing bones breaking.

"Oh poor kid. Haven't you realized yet? The body is a plaything of the mind. And 'Reality' is a matter of opinion."

"Ta ta for now," Bill cheerily waved before vanishing from sight.

XXX

Mabel cheered as she rode the dolphin puppy through the sea of purple grass. The wind was in her hair, the grass was moist and cherry scented, and tacos dotted the sky; perfect.

"This is a great dream!" She cheered.

"And now it's over," Bill said as a trap door opened just as she and her steed impacted on the grass. Her cry of joy cit into one of startlement as she hit solid concrete and her steed popped like balloon.

Mabel groaned picking herself up. Rubbing her head there was a mirror before her.

"I'm boring?! Blarrrrrgggg!" Mabel shrieked at the image.

"Meh, too easy," Bill said snapping his fingers to initiate the spell. The peppy ones tended to be the most delicate for a quick jab in his experience.

XXX

Wendy scribbled frantically on the test, her hair stuffed with no less than fice pencils, al broken and without erasers. She only had five minutes to learn German and write the essay in it!

"Oh crap, the question is in French! Le grill? What does that even mean?!" she demanded pounding her head into the desk. Which then started to eat her hair.

Bill floated onto the scene as she was stabbing the hair-eating desk with a pencil while trying to study the book she held in her other hand.

"Eh, this nightmare will do for you, Ice," Bill said, snapping his burning fingers floating behind her.

XXX

The crowd roared, his awesome hair flew through the air as he banged his head. He could tell because of the jumbotrons all around.

Robbie smiled at the mash pit with all the Wendys, Tambrys, and the super-hot chick from the field hockey team whose name started with an L, fought and tore their clothes off.

Then the music cut out, and the lights clanked off concealing his adoring public.

"What?" Robbie said. A glowing yellow triangle with one eye wearing a blue cap labeled maintenance floated up to him.

"Sorry, Broken Heart, you forgot to pay the bill," it said handing him a clipboard.

"What? I have people for that," Robbie objected. He flipped the page, it read, "LIKE YOR PARENTS?"

"Huh?" Robbie said he looked up but the triangle was replaced with a full length mirror.

"Noo! I've become my mother?!" Robbie shrieked.

"Hmm, we did that gag a season back, and I don't think that the twist really saves it. Well, can't count on teens to be original, I guess," Bill mused, and snapped his fingers.

XXX

"Wow, the triangle guy!" Soos exclaimed staring at the one-eyed demon.

"So I was spot on with you, Question Mark. Well-"

"Soos dream transform! Form of Luchadore-Cowboy-Pirate!" Soos yelled slamming his fists together. Light flashed and he reappeared, wearing a costume of just that.

"Well sir, I approve of your originality," Bill remarked.

"I have studied dream horror movies specifically for this eventuality! You'll counter-transform me back. I'll counter your counter with transformation with idea of immunity. Then we go with dream weapons; then we harness the dream itself like. Then it all comes down to brawling like real dudes; and then-" Soos monologue. Bill tapped his foot and manifested a pocket watch to check.

"You know what, I'm on a schedule. Let's just skip this," Bill said. He vanished in a flash of light.

"Oh, okay then dude. Well back to dreaming," Soos said unzipping his costume. He returned his attention to the world of cotton candy and cotton candy people.

"Greetings meat person!" the cotton candy mayor dude said waving his hand. Soos took the hand off in one bite.

"Ahhh! Monster!" the crowd of cotton candy townsfolk screamed running away into the candy town.

"I am tragically misunderstood. But also hungry. Caaandyyy!" he moaned extending his arms and waking after them in stiff legged fashion.

XXX

Gideon sighed, Gideonland was beautiful at night when the garishness of the city gave way to the subtle more elegant night. Nowhere more so than on the Gleeful Canal running through the heart of his domain.

But of course its majesty shot up to the top of the Dewey decimal system, when shared with his one true queen. She was currently staring out at his glorious kingdom. But better for her to gaze upon the glorious him.

"Let's get lost in each other's eyes, my little corn muffin," He said gently turning her head around. Instead of that fine face he was met by a glowing triangular head with a smiling eye.

"Aww that's sweet for a petty little goblin boy! But I'm afraid you're not my type," Bill whispered loudly.

"Waugh!" Gideon screamed falling back and nearly out of the boat. Laughing aloud Bill took his own form and donned his top hat.

"Bill! Our deal was off. I don't owe you anything, demon!" Gideon yelled pushing himself up in the rocking boat.

"That is true. Odd how your enemies helped you out there. Even I can't expect the unexpected. Which is a good thing, there's no fun in gambling if you know all the outcomes," Bill admitted.

"This… is a dream. I studied mental magic enough to know such fights favor the home team, demon," Gideon said.

"Oh that can be true. But it requires a certain quality you are quite lacking in, jailbird. Anyway I already won, talking to you was just for kicks. Enjoy your worst nightmare, kid," Bill said tipping his hat.

With a ripple the world reset with Gideon back in the seat of his boat, in the middle of his dream kingdom. And yes there was Mabel.

"Hahaha! Incompetent Demon, he's no match for me," Gideon declared. Reaching over he grabbed Mabel to turn her around only to reveal she was not staring, she was not even alone.

"A little privacy?" his nemesis demanded.

"Jerk," Mabel spat. And they resumed.

"What? What?! WHAT?!" Gideon screamed, breaking the sky of the dream at the sight.

"Hmm, jeez. Kid, how old are you to have this as your worst fear? Internet, it's worse than those trashy love gods. Hippies! Who else could mess up deviancy of all things?

"And more importantly while the imagery may work, I just don't see the chemistry here.

"Well, enough of that, don't explode in the morning," Bill said snapping his fingers.

XXX

"Ew, ew, ew, like, ew," Pacifica shuddered at the giant sweaty socks splurting under each step. Cutting through the sweaty sock swamp to get this golden pizza home on time was not a good idea. But it was the only shortcut that worked.

At least she had worn winter boots to keep her feet dry. Though the purple sweater was itching horribly. Another reason to get home and change the table cloth.

So she wasn't too surprised when a triangle was waiting at the crossroads of Where & Howzdothut.

"Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. Do you have a spatula I can borrow?" the rich blonde asked.

"Hahaha, better! No spatulas, but if you let me have a look at your worst fear I can get you a reliable pack animal," he said shooting her a pointy gesture.

"... Okay its right behind the portrait of the Skeleton King," She said. Then as he went over to the tree of socks that painting was hanging on, she wondered if she had just made a mistake.

Bill opened the painting and Pacifica screamed as the nightmares poured out.

"Yes! Yes! That's what I'm talking about! No awkward angst, cliché, or squick. Just good ol' fashioned nightmare fuel made with grandma's own recipe.

"Ahhh, leave it to the aristocracy to keep things classy. Thanks kid. If I had a conscience I might feel guilty about this. But hey, at least dieting will be off your worry list," Bill laughed. He snapped blazing fingers, and flames engulfed Pacifica. It burned back the nightmares, but she still cried out in pain as the magic pierced and warped her body.

XXX

Clawed gray hands closed around the lever.

"Party's over!" Stan roared pulling the lever down. With a thunk the generator cut out and the portal blinked closed down to a blazing pinprick.

Stan breathed a sigh of relief. He could still fix this. Yes, this was only a setback.

"I'm sorry. This is only a delay. I won't fail this time," Stan panted looking to the powering down portal.

In a flash of light Bill appeared and started to break down before the old man's eyes. The bits of him trailing into the portal like so many things had.

"Well congratulations, Stan Pines, you have managed to temporarily inconvenience me. But rest assured this is only a little sneak preview. Soon abnormal will be the norm, and 'you' won't be the one with the say on the final stage.

"But until then do try and pick up the pieces, I like a good show. They are so hard to find these days," Bill laughed as the last of him was sucked once again into pin sized portal.

Which Stan was reminded of with a mocking wink as that snapped out.

XXX

"Ahh!" Dipper sat up in bed screaming. Breathing hard he looked around the bedroom. Eyes falling on Mabel who flopped over facing him without opening her eyes.

"Too early Dipper. Always too early," she grumbled before turning over.

"Whew just a dream," Dipper sighed in relief. He ran a hand through his hair, and found something.

"Uh Mabel, did you glue some things to my head while I was asleep, again?" Dipper asked.

"Can't talk, sleeping. Snore snore snore," she said.

Dipper moved about in bed a bit.

"Oh no," he said. He pulled back the sheets tossing them off the bed onto the floor. Revealing his lower body was that of a speckled deer.

"... Ahhhh!" Dipper screamed.

"Ahhhh!" Mabel screamed in joy. Breathing hard Dipper looked over to her bed again, she had thrown off her own sheets revealing a pink mermaid tail.

"Ahhhhh!"

"Ahhhhh!" they each screamed with very different emotions.

XXX

Stan's eye snapped open revealing carpets and hard wood floors. The gift shop.

'Was there a party at the lodge?' he wondered. Then he wondered why he did not feel stiff as usual from sleeping passed out on the floor.

"Wait a minute, I don't feel hung over at all," he realized. Last night events came back to him and he pushed himself to one knee. Judging by his hands, things had just gotten complicated.

Then screams erupted from upstairs.

"The KIDS!" he roared, taking off for the stairs.

XXX

"Okay can't panic! Have to stay calm!" Dipper said taking deep breathes on top his bed.

"This is awesome! Why you freaking out, 'deer' bro?" Mabel asked fiddling with her tail. She coughed into her forearm before taking a deep breath. She had human ears still. But shen she pulled up her bughtgown it revealed lighter pink fin along the 'seam' between the scales and human parts.

"Mabel, this is serious!" Dipper yelled.

"Well calm down, you don't see me-" she said, before a winged monster burst through the door.

"KIDS!" Gargoyle Stan roared. They both screamed. Dipper bolted from the bed and ran straight into the wall falling over. And Mabel jumped from the bed to flop onto the floor.

"Ouch," they said.

Several tail thwacks and a run to the tub later:

"Wow, Grunkle Stan people call you a gargoyle but I never thought it was true. But why are you flesh during the day?" Mabel asked splashing some water at her grand uncle as he sat atop the toilet. Not using it, just sitting there.

His skin was gray like one would expect a stone. Mabel also thought he looked a bit more like he went to a gym. His eyes were yellow but still held the same pupils. His hair was unchanged though two back swept gray horns rose from it now. The horns were not stopping him from trying to wear his Fez though.

Mabel appreciated his determination to wear a hat.

"This isn't a TV show, Mabel," Stan grumbled looking at the mermaid in the tub again. It occurred to him he should probably get her swimsuit rather than that soaking nightgown.

Wait how would a mermaid wear a one piece?

"Or is it?" Mabel said with wonder staring at the fourth wall. Stan glanced at the wall with a shelf of toiletries and looked back at his wide-eyed niece.

"Dipper! Your sister is in a cuckoo hole again, get in here and pull her out with your brand of insanity," Stan called.

"Oh, so just walk over there with all these legs?!" Dipper snapped back.

"Oh come on, your sister has no legs and she's taking this more in stride!" Stan complained. Then Mabel started singing 'little mermaid' songs.

"Okay fair enough," Stan said getting up. He walked back to the attic and found Dipper where he had left him on the floor.

"Still not getting up?" he asked.

"I've tried, four legs is hard," Dipper said. They boy looked cute, unfortunately for his sometimes frail ego. The ears and the tufts fur around them were what sold it. They looked like just the things kids and women would go goo goo over.

"Well at least you stopped screaming like a girl. The Bambi dots were bad enough. Besides four should be more stable than two," Stan pointed out.

"Well not as bad as when I was pig," Dipper grumbled.

"Okay, I'm going to ignore that statement. Mabel wants breakfast and it may be a good idea. So are you going to come downstairs, or will I have to carry you with my creepy monster claws?" Stan asked. His hands did indeed now boast one creepy if short monster claw for each finger.

Dipper sighed and resigned himself to this latest humiliating turn of events. How hard could it be to get downstairs anyway.

XXX

"Mr. Waddles we have uncovered a rare black eyed deer boy! The Imperial Zoo will pay a fortune!" Mabel exclaimed looking at Dipper through a hand telescope. He tried to glare at her, but with two black eyes from descending the steps it was too much effort.

Mabel was chomping away at her cereal, each bite punctuated with a drink from a pitcher of water. Dipper for his part was staring at the cereal finding his stomach queasy.

"Prefer beef jerky?" Stan asked holding out a half-eaten piece from his spot by the counter.

"Uh, no, I'm good..." Dipper answered, feeling a sudden revulsion at the should-be-appetizing teriyaki strips. But his stomach chose that moment to betray him, growling loudly. Worse yet was it was growling where it should have been for a DEER.

The sensation distracted him from his Gruncle shoving the jerky into his mouth with a dismissive scoff, "Growing boys gotta eat, an' I can't stand finicky eaters."

Choking on the horrible snack Dipper sputtered, running outside with a cry and ripping up grass to chew; just to get the horrific taste out of his mouth.

"Yeesh, that kid. At that age they never make any sense," Stan muttered, shaking his head as he looked out the window. Dismissing the sight outright he turned his attention to the newspaper and leaned back into his chair, the cheap wood straining against his new weight.

"Hehe, he's eating grass," Mabel chimed in, taking another sip of water. As she downed her eighth glass, she looked over at her gargruncle and rubbing her chin to show how thoughtful she was being, before asking outright, "So why are you taking being a stone monster man with wings so well anyways?"

"Eh, been zapped into weirder in my time, this ain't too bad," he shrugged flipping the page. "And most a' my itchy, stinky, achey and generally unspeakable problems are gone! So I'm just enjoyin' the perks while they last."

At that point the chair beneath him finally gave and he landed hard, forming a divot in the kitchen floor. He returned to his paper after a moment's pause with a casual "Worth it."

"I agree, always look on the bright side!" Mabel nodded, holding her glass up.

"Hey, dudes," Soos stated casually stepping inside, "Couldn't help but to notice a deer with Dipper's face chowing on the lawn out there. I supposed to spray it with the hose like the normal deers?"

When he turned to actually look into the kitchen he saw the gargoyle Stan sitting on the floor reading the paper, and mermaid Mabel gargling water at the table.

"Ah tis but a dream. Well I'm going to go get some flying in before I wake up, Dream dudes," Soos said pulling off his shirt and running back out.

Mabel watched him through the window. He leapt into the air.

"Soos away!" He said, before face-planting on the lawn. Dipper walked over to him.

"Soos, this isn't a dream," Dipper sighed.

"Thank you for that clarification dude. This have to do with the triangle guy?" Soos asked still facing down in the grass. Dipper spat out piece of grass.

"He was in your dreams too? And you weren't changed?" Dipper asked. Soos got up and nodded solemnly.

"Hmm, well maybe the transformation was only for members of the Pines family?" Dipper wondered. The journal had never said anything about this power, even in black light. The other two journals maybe?

"Uh dude I think your hypothesis may be flawed," Soos said pressing his index finger together.

"What makes you say that, Soos?" Dipper asked deep in thought. Soos pointed behind Dipper.

Dipper turned and almost bumped noses with a red furred canine. The familiar hat did not register, nor that familiar shade or red in the fur.

"Well, glad it's not lonely in this boat," she said.

Wendy stood back up scratching behind a pointy ear as Dipper ran off screaming.

"Probably should not have snuck up on the deer guy," she said.

Robbie grunted next to her resisting the urge to scratch his currently leathery green skin. His own ears were bigger and pointier, plus his broader shoulders where clearly straining his hoodie. His big feet had clearly thwarted any shoes he had standing there barefoot.

"Wendy, if I were you I'd wait to make sure this isn't his fault first," Robbie remarked. As Dipper peeked around the corner of the Mystery Shack, Soos raised his phone and solemnly took a picture of the wolf girl and teenage troll before him.

"The internet will long remember this day," Soos declared.

Soon:

The transformed, and Soos, stood in the Mystery Shack bathroom. Well Mabel was in the tub holding Waddles who kept looking at Wendy and squirming.

Dipper held a note pad which he was scribbling on.

"Okay, so let's review the facts. Bill, the triangular dream demon, appeared in each of our dreams. With the exception of Soos he revealed our worst fear and we woke transformed.

"Now in past encounters with Bill, he was summoned by Gideon for the purpose of stealing the combination to Gruncle Stan's safe from Stan's mind. The second time he tricked me into making a deal that let him possess my body.

"Each time he has not been able to affect mortals without making a deal with one. Also when he possessed my body he did not show any of his usual powers.

"From this we can conclude his powers are only effective under certain circumstances. So what has changed?" Dipper asked while writing.

"Uh, shouldn't the real question be how to fix this?" Stan said. Robbie nodded giving Dipper a mild glare.

"Yeah, I'm with the old monster, this is your problem to solve. I just want the splash stain off me man," the hoodie wearing troll said.

"Boys boys, it's not all bad," Mabel said splashing water with her tail. The water hit Wendy who quickly shook herself. Dipper shielded the note pad as the boys cried in protest. Except for Soos who just laughed.

"Question; we sure this is a werewolf and not a weredoggie?" Soos asked raising a hand. Robbie and Stan chuckled at that, Wendy glared all three into silence growling a bit in her throat.

"You were saying, dude?" Wendy asked Dipper.

"Right, well. I have consulted the Journal, and unless it has still-further hidden messages there is nothing about stuff like this or Bill being able to do it," Dipper said, holding up said book.

"So wait what you're saying is you've got nothing? You're supposed to be good at this!" Robbie accused.

"Hey now!" Mabel shouted pushing herself up on the tub edge. "Dipper's book may be dry, but this boy? He's all wet! Give him time and he'll rein in this mystery and pose with it for the paper!" she declared.

"Che, well I won't be hanging around here holding my breath. I'm going to ask Tambry if she wants to hang under the bridge," Robbie huffed pulling up his hood.

"Why the bridge?" Wendy asked.

"I dunno," Robbie shrugged.

"Just remember; if anyone asks, you're in costume. These local rubes will believe anything," Stan said. Robbie paused in the doorway to look back.

"You know I'm a local right?" Robbie asked.

"Yes," Stan answered. Robbie left grumbling, and rhyming?

"Alright people, now that skinny jeans is gone, it's time to talk Shack business," Stan said.

"You're going to close the Shack so you can help Dipper solve the mystery?" Soos asked.

"Hahahaha, no.

"Listen yes the involuntary polymorph is hardly on anyone's schedule, but we're sane and not crippled. Well except for Mabel and she is Mabel," Stan said idly waving at the mermaid.

"Don't I know it! Mabel's sleeping with the fishes tonight," she cheered.

"Anyway there is no reason this development has to be completely unpleasant," Stan said.

"That's right!" Soos agreed.

"I wasn't talking to you, Soos," Stan stated.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," Soos said.

"You're not going to make us work as exhibits in the Shack, are you?" Dipper asked, ears flattening.

"If course not. You're going to wear fake zippers and seams, then work in a tent or something 'behind' the Shack. The Canvas of Creatures! Separate entry fee and everything" Stan declared rubbing his clawed hands together.

"And by 'you' I mean you kids. I still need Wendy on register," Stan clarified.

"I don't believe this," Dipper sighed putting his hands to his face. Mabel put a hand on his shoulder

"Me neither bro. SWEET MOSES I'M GOING TO BE A STAR!" she shrieked letting him go to pump her fists. Which made her fall back into the tub with a splash.

Grumbling Dipper left the bathroom, Stan walking out with him already grumbling to himself and Soos about a big tent.

"Hey Dipper come back! it's an emergency!" Mabel called. Huffing Dipper turned around and stuck his head in.

"I don't know how to go to the bathroom!" Mabel said. Wendy leaned over the tub to look in.

"That is a good point Mabel," Wendy agreed.

"I'll be downstairs if there is real emergency," Dipper said. Walking down stairs Waddles ran between his legs nearly sending him falling again. Reaching the ground floor he was so relived he responded to the knock on the door reflexively.

"Oh!" He and Pacifica said as they came face to with each other. He noticed he furry brown ears first. Then glanced down, the pink and purple suitcases far less intriguing than the shaggy lower body with more legs than usual.

"Sooo, I guess I am at the right place?" Pacifica asked staring at Dipper's deer feet.

XXX

"Triangles are creepy," Pacifica stated. There were both sitting on the grass behind the Mystery Shack, Pacifica's luggage laying between them. Dipper had more or less recounted their little meeting to the blonde girl. He glanced at her shaggy lower body again only to look away when she shifted her attention back.

"So, yeah that's all we know. And you think a shape is creepy?" he asked to distract from the fact he had been looking.

"It's nothing much. My parents have some art with triangles around the mansion. They used to really freak me out when I was small. At night I would think they were watching me, and make a ... fuss.

"Not how a Northwest is supposed to act," she murmured. He did not like her blank look or tone on that last part.

"Yeah your parents. They really kicked you out?" Dipper asked.

"Well they grounded me for the Party. They said 'this' kind of deviancy was taking preteen rebellion too far. 'If I want to behave like some common rapscallion, I could go live with the riffraff until I was ready to appreciate what it means to be a Northwest'," she said mimicking her father a bit. That seemed to relax her some.

"I'm sorry," Dipper said.

"Like, it's not so bad. At least they let me keep my overnight bags. And it's better than being locked in my room all the time," she said.

"Wait, they locked you in your room?" Dipper asked ears standing up. She looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Well yeah, they had grounded me," she said as if it was obvious.

"Wow! Another one? Pacifica Northwest?" Wendy said coming around the building.

"Oh! Wendy, Pacifica. Pacifica, Wendy?" Dipper said. The two had both been at Stan's party but he wasn't sure if they had met. Considering how the Northwest's tended to act he doubted there had been much of that.

"Are you… A werewolf?" Pacifica asked getting to her feet.

"Well, I can't seem to turn human, so maybe wolfwoman is more accurate," Wendy said scratching under chin.

'Wait, is her snout 'more' now? She looks more canine,' Dipper thought.

"But what are you exactly?" she asked, crouching next to the anxious taur. Dipper also felt a bit antsy but he was not going to bolt again.

"Centaur, it would seem," Pacifica snapped.

"Mmm no, Pacifica. Horse don't have toes," Dipper said looking at her feet. Wendy felt the blonde's brown curled tail with a clawed hand.

"And this ain't no pony tail," Wendy said.

"Maybe a camel?" Dipper suggested.

"Camel?" Pacifica growled. She stopped and her eyes widened as Wendy stroked her back trying to feel through the thick fur.

"Not feeling a hump, Dipper. Too young to be growing bumps maybe?" the red canid commented.

"I don't know," Dipper admitted, tapping his chin.

"Enough! I do know it's not HUMAN. If you are quite done, like, I am going to drop these off with the valet. I need to talk with your grandfather," Pacifica huffed storming off stomping away and kicking up clumps of grass as she went.

"Wow, blew that one. Sorry Dipper. So you friends with rich people now?" Wendy said rubbing the back of her neck as she sat down.

"Long story. Better catch up, she really doesn't know as much as she thinks she does," Dipper sighed. He considered the suitcases for a moment then decided to pick them up. Or tried to, he ended up dragging them mostly; until Wendy picked them up.

"Good effort. But she might not like you scuffing them up. She seems nice, she smells nice," Wendy commented walking along with Dipper. He watched her tail wag and had to admit her face and shape was definitely more wolf-like than earlier.

He clearly needed to observe these transformations.

XXX

"No way! This is the Mystery Shack not a motel," Stan said as he hammered down a sign announcing 'Creepy Creatures' at the Mystery Shack.

"Come on Grunkle Stan, she thinks Soos is a valet and that being locked up like a crook is normal grounding! She didn't know what 'sharing' is," Dipper insisted standing by his uncle next to the dirt tract driveway.

"Eh, sharing's overrated," Stan said stepping back to look at the sign.

"What I am saying is that Pacifica is not just a kid, she's a kid who is not ready to live on her own without the cheat codes of life that being rich is to support her. Oh, and she is also half camel or something," Dipper said.

"Then send her to Wendy's. What's one more freak in that nuthouse?" Stan said walking back toward the shack.

"I heard my name, what's up?" Wendy asked walking over to join them.

"Wendy you're walking on all fours, and the fake blonde is going to bunk at your place," Stan said. Wendy's ears flattened against her skull.

"Uh, Stan that is a bad bad idea. I love my family, but even with a life of living with them, that environment can be a bit… much. Honestly I think murder might ensue inside two days," Wendy admitted.

"Besides Mabel can't sleep in her bed so that leave an open bunk," Wendy pointed out. She was now sitting on all fours, not lost on either male.

"Hmm, and you think that's a good idea, those two sharing a room? The boy's at that creepy girl-staring age," Stan mused.

"Stan, this is Dipper we're talking about," Wendy said.

"Good point, besides deer doesn't beat camel," Stan said.

"Hey! What?" Dipper objected. Not quite sure what he was objecting to, but that he had been insulted he was fairly sure of.

"Hey, fake-blondie!" the Gargoyle called out. Pacifica ran over stopping short of gargoyle, hands clenched on her cases.

"What did you say about my hair?!" she demanded.

"All the roots on your back are showing.

"Anyway, you can have Mabel's old bed and the meal deal. But you're not family so you will be working for your keep," Stan declared.

"Grunkle Stan, you make Mabel and me-" Dipper began before the Gargoyle cut him off.

"Point is I'm your landlord, not your host. You'll be working for your keep, and if you have 'objections' to a chore just know I have a long list of Soos chores that can be passed up the ladder," Stan said menacingly.

"Oh that reminds me, we have a no ladder policy. Poor Mabel has a fear of heights. No idea where she gets this stuff from," Stan said shaking his head sadly.

"Mabel doesn't have a fear of heights Grunkle Stan," Dipper deadpanned.

"You mean she didn't," Stan said looking a bit nervous.

"Wendy! What are you standing around for? Get back to the register, you're still on the clock. And go buy some anti-flea shampoo, you're making me nervous with all that scratching," Stan commanded.

"Yeah, yeah," Wendy grumbled running back to the Shack.

"Wow, never seen the girl move that fast when work was involved. Anyway Dipper get to works on some adhesive zippers or something. We need to be able to pass this off as dress up. I'd ask Mabel but I don't want glitter.

"A sparkly werewolf might cause a riot. And I canceled the riot insurance," Stan admitted. Pacifica put herself between Stan and Dipper pulling out a wallet.

"Can't I just pay to stay here?" she asked.

"Kid listen, I cannot emphasize enough how unlike me it is to not take your money. But if you've been thrown out all you got is what you have. Any plastic in there is probably dead as the three dollar bill.

"So once I take your cash you've got nothing. If you were a tourist that would be fine. But I'd rather not have to face the consequences of my actions on a daily basis, for however long.

"So go blow your cash on something stupid and maybe you'll learn something, but then I'll be the good guy still giving you a place to live and an actual resume."

"Wow, even being nice is a scam too you, isn't it?" Dipper remarked.

"What kind of work? Hosting? Interior decorating?" Pacifica asked.

"Display item. I'm thinking like a zoo, but you," Stan said bluntly.

"No way! I, like, may not be an active snob now, but that totally does not mean I am throwing away all my dignity," she declared.

"Well in that case you can be Soos' assistant,"

"Really? Cause I could use some help. With all these four-legged dudes I must use my handyman power to construct an outhouse that will accommodate quatropeds," Soos said walking up with a saw and hammer.

"Well then, so will it be no dignity, or waste engineering?" Stan asked a jaw dropped Pacifica.

XXX

"Llama!" Mabel yelled pointing at Pacifica as she propped herself up in the tub.

"... Is this normal?" Pacifica asked over her shoulder. She was standing in the bathroom doorway, which left Dipper out in the hall. The stairs apparently posed little challenge to the bottle blonde.

"For Mabel anyway," Dipper said. He waited for her to walk in so he could come inside, but she did not move from the spot.

"You know, I was thinking I would sooner have been a mermaid since that's cute but if you, like, have to sleep in a tub I guess I got lucky," Pacifica said.

"Soooooo much long hair! Can I braid you?" Mabel asked. Dipper could picture her big eyed wonder.

"Okay, so hello's said and species identified. Why don't we get you unpacked?" Dipper asked.

"Whaaat? No one told me there was going to be a sleepover. I need to call Candi and Grenda! Or is this just some transformation club dealy?" Mabel asked splashing around.

Pacifica backed up quickly, bumping into Dipper.

"Hey! Let go of my tail!" Pacifica cried out when he grabbed onto it to keep from falling. She thrust herself back and really did knock him on the floor.

"I'll find that bedroom myself," she sputtered red faced walking off.

"Well yet again things go needlessly wrong," Dipper muttered getting back onto his feet.

"Uh oh!" Mabel said. She was looking out at him giving a smile that always meant trouble.

"What is it Mabel?" Dipper asked irritated.

"Tail grabbing, and that red face on her? Methinks love is in the air once again-in," she sang.

"What? Mabel this is Pacifica we're talking about," Dipper sputtered.

"Uh huh, and that doesn't mean what it meant just two days ago, does it? You like your women strong and smart, Bro-bro. I credit the influence of your awesome sister for your good taste.

"Besides now you have the same number of legs!" she cheered.

"... We had the same number of legs before, Mabel," Dipper pointed out.

"You see! The compatibility is piling up. Like a landfill I say!" she declared.

"Oh I can't deal with your matchmaking nonsense right now, Mabel. I need to get Pacifica settled and whatever you want in here," Dipper sighed.

"What? Pacifica is sharing our room?" Mabel asked.

"Well you're sleeping here, so she gets your bed," Dipper pointed out.

"Oh, right… So I guess we're not roomies anymore?" she said.

"Uh, guess so?" Dipper said. They were silent before Dipper exited, he left the door open for her.

Waddles oinked from his spot on the floor as Mabel laid down on the bottom of the tub.

XXX

"I thought I said I wasn't working with your valet?" Pacifica said looking round the attic bedroom with a raised eyebrow.

"He's not a servant! He's our friend, and an employee," Dipper said.

"You like can be friends with employees? Aren't you not supposed to talk with hired help unless you need something?" Pacifica asked. Dipper almost got irritated, but he reminded himself she was asking a real question.

"That's a 'your parents' thing, Pacifica," Dipper said. The label was quickly becoming his go-to to quickly tell her something she thought she knew was just her parents, or their people, filling her head with lies.

"Okay then. But why are we in his room?" Pacifica asked.

"Soos lives with his grandma, not here. This is our room, you can have this bed," Dipper said, opening a drawer to look for the stuff Mabel had requested.

"…What?" Pacifica said, fur rising and ears going down. She looked back at the ceiling with its mold and fungus among the rafters, and the junk from both the twins and before the twins shoved into corners.

"You sleep here? It smells like ... I don't know what that smell is," Pacifica sputtered.

"Uh unwashed clothes, wet mold, lingering rotting food, and whatever Mabel trying to grow under her bed last week. Speaking of which I guess we should wash the sheets since it's your bed now?" Dipper said.

Pacifica's left eye twitched.

XXX

Wendy's ears perked up, and she looked up from staring at Soos butt. She could smell meat there, salami possibly?

"Did you hear something?" Soos asked.

"Pacifica just screamed. More disgust than terror, guess Mabel rescued her science project from the garbage after all," Wendy said.

"Science is not easily deterred," Soos nodded putting what was essentially a zipper choker on Wendy.

"Say aren't you more of a dog now than you were earlier?" Soos asked. Aside from her clawed hands and hair she looked to him like a canine that was standing up more than a wolfperson.

"Not Dog, wolf Soos. Wolf!" she bared her teeth.

"Sheesh, sensitive," Soos said. Finishing a candy bar he balled up the wrapper and tossed it toward the trash can by the door. Wendy leapt over the counter and caught in it in the air, colliding with a postcard stand.

"Uhh, yeah?" she said a wide grin slipping.

"Evidence piles up, dude," Soos said pointing at her.

XXX

Pacifica stared at the bed, it was much smaller than she was used too. Suppose she rolled out of it?

'Say?' she wondered.

"How do I sleep in this?" she asked Dipper who was by his own bed. He had been off talking to his sister in the tub. 'Sharing' a room was a strange thing. Her parents had their own master bedrooms. She thought they might share occasionally, but they were married. Well limited space, she supposed.

Or was this another normal thing?

"It's a bed Pacifica. It's not that different from what you use," Dipper rolled his eyes. She put her hands on her hips, and almost pulled them away. Even with the night gown on she could feel the fur under the silk.

"Not that 'this'. Like this 'this'," she said waving her hands to indicate her lower half.

"Uh, how did you before you woke up?" he asked.

"If I remembered that I wouldn't be asking. Can I even lie back like this?" she asked staring at the bed as if it was some alien craft now.

"Listen, it's been a long day you're tired. Just cover yourself up relax and rest your head, and I'm sure fatigue will take care of the rest," Dipper said.

She watched him gingerly climb onto his bend and pull the blanket over himself as he settled down and put his head on the pillow.

Pulling the blanket off, Pacifica stepped on. It seemed to shift under her weight, her toes wiggling uncertainly. She gave a sigh of relief when she lowered herself down, pulling the blanket over her shaggy fur proved harder, the angle was bad forcing her to twist to try and get a better grip.

"Here," Dipper said. He was next to her and grabbed the blanket, pulled it to cover her llama parts, easy reach.

"Thanks," she said looking away. He returned to his spot easily. Did he appreciate how nimble and graceful he was? She was half beast of burden.

She checked the back of her night gown. Good, she did not want any to see the triangle of fur that covered do much of her back. Following her spine to taper out about a hands width from the base of her neck.

A hairy back was a humiliation too far to admit to. She stretched, pulling the blanket up to rest herself like Dipper did.

It felt… awkward. This position was not comfortable.

Well, she had nothing else so it would have to do.

"Uh good night, Dipper?" she said.

"Night Mabel," Dipper said.

"Pacifica, I mean! Sorry," he corrected. He turned off his lamp leaving her in the dark of this strange place. She was tired but as it all creaked around her she was certain she would be awake come morning.

'Is this more revenge for my family? And me?' she wondered in the dark.

XXX

Wendy felt weird going home. The teen had ended up running most of the way as the sun set. On all fours, though shoes made that a bit more difficult.

Her head was aching as the light faded, and it seemed off. What seemed off? Well everything, if only slightly. Her running felt right though, and her destination; home.

Yes, that was what went with night.

Her father was waiting for her. Wendy was grateful for that, even as he was surprisingly quiet.

He did say something though. The zipper necklace got company around her neck and he led her around back. Her brothers weren't in sight or hearing, odd that.

What had he said about mom and grandma? What experience?

When did they get a giant kennel?

"We camping out tonight, dad?" she asked. Or tried too, her tongue felt numb.

"I had hoped enough time had passed. But it should hold. I'll make sure of it. We'll talk at dawn," he said, like a normal person.

That was nice, she hoped there would be pancakes in the morning. Bacon or sausage, she wondered, as he left her chained to the stake and secured the kennel door out of sight.

Wendy rolled over onto her side, the cold coffee of her blood starting to stir, with new bitter heat. The moon was rising in a sunless sky.

XXX

Soos sat at his desk drawing very slowly on the piece of paper as he looked between it and the plans displayed on his computer.

He had the plans of an outhouse, but now he had to modify them into a Taur outhouse.

Mabel had had her potty issues but she said she just relaxed and the answers were revealed. Mr. Pines had not been pleased, but there was nothing for it but a rinse by Soos.

"A crisis is upon us, and I Soos have not gained superpowers. Therefore I must become the mighty normal with great brain and great gadgets to save the day!

"At least I already have the mask," Soos said puling on his luchadore mask.

"Soos-man shall rule the day! And break new ground in waste disposal. Soos-man does the dirty jobs so Innocent four-legged people don't have to go to the potty in the woods.

"Soos! Dinner is ready!" Abuelita called.

"Soos-man away! Oh wait wait, that's the other guy. This calls for silence and darkness in a dramatic exit.

"Soos-man away," he whispered getting to his feet and turning the lights off. He tripped as he fell through the opening door.

"Soos-man is not nigh-invulnerable. But he is okay anyway," Soos-man said.

Late that night:

Getting down here had been a bit different, stupid wings caught on things. Good thing he had copied the data. Shame the invisible ink didn't carry over to copies.

Everything was ready, and this time he had worn pants.

Stan looked at the inert portal. He had been close. Not yet at the critical point when Bill intervened. Thankfully, otherwise...

Pulling the lever risked Bill. And Bill was not just his problem anymore. If that had been the case, risk would not have been worth a second thought. But it was not just him.

"Oh forget it, I already knew the stakes were high for everyone," Stan spat. The lever came easily with his new strength.

"I hope I don't have to greet you looking like this. But it will all be worth it. Nothing's going to stop this from happening," Stan declared, flexing his wings.

Author's Note:

I stumbled on the Monster Falls idea and just had to give it a shot with my own spin. As you can see not only are there fewer and some different transformations, the origin is Bill rather than magic water. Also remember that llamas are nature's mightiest warriors.

Apologies to readers of my long time works; but I find ignoring the plotbunnies is more cumbersome than heeding them bit; when if they stick around in my head.

Back to work on Shadow of the Titans now I suppose.