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The Sorting
Black, Sirius!
Another Black, eh? You seem to be popping up every few years lately. Hm... but you're not like your cousins. No, there's something different about you... you don't agree with your family's views about muggle-borns... ah, and you actually like muggle objects? Quite unusual for a Black.
Yeah, can you stop the stalling and cut to the chase? We both know where you'll put me.
Do we? And what makes it so obvious?
Well, the fact that every other Black in the history of Blacks was in Slytherin. Just sort me already so I can eat, I'm starving.
Hm, but like I said, you're not like the rest of your family. You'll never fit in in Slytherin. Perhaps in...
Why does fitting in matter? I haven't fit in anywhere my entire life. If you sort me anywhere else, my family will disown me completely! Like I'm not enough of a disappointment already. Just put me in Slytherin.
Are you sure? I can find you a place where you'll actually be happy...
I'll only be happy once I turn seventeen and can finally leave my parent's house. Sort, Hat, I'm hungry.
Well, if you're sure... then SLYTHERIN!
xXx
Lupin, Remus!
Ah, what is this? My very first werewolf.
You know!?
Calm down child, your secret is safe with me. Now, where to put you, where to put you... Slytherin is definitely out of the question. You've no lack of magical talent, but you're not one to trample over others to get what you want. But I see a lot of kindness in you... and a sharp mind... and loyalty, oh and such courage...
Courage? I think you got that wrong, Mister Hat.
No my boy, I am never wrong. You'll do nicely in Gryffindor...
Please, not in Gryffindor!
Not in Gryffindor? And why not? You could be great in Gryffindor...
It's the most showy house in the entire school! If you sort me there, those kids will eat me alive! I don't want to be noticed!
And why not? You could make great friends in-...
Please, Mister Hat! I don't want people to find out about me.
Well, if you're so adamant about it... better be RAVENCLAW!
xXx
Pettigrew, Peter!
Hmmm...
Er... Hat? Is it possible for someone not to be sorted?
Of course not. You're a tougher nut to crack than most, but I'll find a place for you.
I know I'm not an easy person to sort... I'm not good at anything...
You don't have to be good. You just need to have the seeds of potential. I see you don't like reading very much, so not in Ravenclaw... but there is a desire to be noticed in you. You want to be on the top. Perhaps in Slytherin... but you'll never shine among such ambitious people... your own abilities will be left in the dust, as everyone competes for the spotlight. No, you wouldn't like it there... I see some courage in you. Maybe Gryffindor will make for a better fit...
The Gryffindors are bullies! I don't want to be in that house, they'll dunk my head in the toilet!
Well, there is a smidgen of loyalty deep down. If you work on it and make it grow, I see no reason why you couldn't be in HUFFLEPUFF!
xXx
Potter, James!
Yes, finally! I've been waiting for this forever!
You seem enthusiastic, Mr. Potter.
Like you wouldn't believe! I'm so excited; I've been waiting for this since March!
Well, it's nice to see someone tonight that actually wants to be sorted.
What?
Nothing, child. Now there's a true Gryffindor, if I ever met one! You excel in all the traits the old founder used to value, chivalry, daring, bravery, loyalty... and a bit of mischief? Yes, you'll do great in GRYFFINDOR!