Disclaimer: I don't own the Artemis Fowl characters, they belong fully to Eoin Colfer.

And don't be confused, I made Artemis an elf for this. He's probably clever enough to manage that ;)

Please excuse mistakes if found as I am not a native speaker. Though please review, I'd be grateful for improvement advice :)

Chapter (1)

LEP shuttle

Cate woke up with a dizzy feeling that turned fast into a horrible headache, when she tried (and failed) standing up. She found herself on what seemed to be some kind of fabric covered seats. The air was dry and no sun but only artificial light shone from the ceiling.

Taking a close look at her surrounding, Cate Donpino sat up slowly. It looked like you would imagine a NASA space craft being mixed with an old greyhound bus. High-tech displays glowed softly, highlighting weird letters (if they even were) Cate could not understand. The seat she was sitting in looked just like any old bus seat, even including the gum stuck under it.

Though there were windows (maybe even portholes), they showed nothing than darkness outside.

But what disturbed her most was that, wherever she was, she was moving. And fast.

Her yearlong police training held Cate from completely freaking out but trying to analyze the situation she was in.

Waking up to strange surroundings with no memory of any pervious events - this required the full checklist: No white beds and none other medical equipment, probably not a hospital.

Next, the square root of 64? Eight, so ... probably not drugged.

Held captive without any restraining, so (hopefully) no psycho trying to kill her. Still, nothing seemed familiar in any way and the doors in front and back were sealed tight, maybe kidnapped? Someone blackmailing the SFPD?

Still how hard she tried to remember, Cate could not recall the slightest bit of what went down within the last few hours. The only thing she remembered was she had gone down to the holding cells with the intention to question someone about something. But she had no clue what or who it could've been.

While the captain was trying to determine the graveness of her situation, the formerly locked doors slid open with a quiet hiss.

Cate heard footsteps and turned around, regretting this only a fraction of a second later.

In the door frame stud a man. If it even was a man...

He ... it ... was smaller than her, a lot smaller.

Cate wasn't exactly tall herself. With merely one meter sixty she had been lucky to be accepted in the police academy, but her natural instincts and highly trained tactical skills made up for this, big time.

But right in this moment, none of it was of any use to her.

The man, creature, whatever it was, smirked, gleaming white teeth showing from parted dark green lips. The rest of him was also green...

But even that was not what put her most off. Cate could have sworn, that she'd seen something behind the man's back covered in a military looking overall. A something that looked alarmingly like ... like neatly folded wings...

So all together, there stood a very small, green skinned, winged man ... and grinned at her. This could only be a dream. A very strange one.

Cate Donpino wished she's wake up. Now please!

Maybe she was drugged after all? Was that the best her subconscious could come up with?! A weird sci-fi leprechaun. Somehow this was worrying. Cate decided it was probably best for her if she stopped watching late night movies on 'mystery channel'.

The man (she decided he probably was a man, even if not human) opened his mouth to speak.

"Hey there honey. Welcome aboard the famous LEP taxi service" he sniggered. If they had been in any other situation, the man would have regretted even thinking about calling the captain a 'honey'.

But right now, Cate wasn't even able to decide on whether she was awake or not, let alone register cheeky comments from little green men.

"Not slept well I guess. Holl- , I mean the Captain'd hit you pretty good. Those new neutrinos give you one an 'ell of an 'eadache."

"Who ... what ... are..." Cate spluttered. It was a rare occasion that the witty Captain of the San Francisco Police's Major Crimes Unit, short MCU, was lost for words. After all she had a whole special force under her command and was used to extraordinary situations. But she wasn't sure if this 'x-files'-ish incident counted as extraordinary if not even as completely insane.

Her stammering was interrupted as the doors slid open once again.

Another small but this time female figure came through, already yelling at the green man in front of her.

"Chix, you utter idiot! I'd told you to wait in the cockpit. Go!"

Chix seemed not too happy about being told off by his assumable superior. He retreated, but not without winking at Cate once before he left.

"Now!" the other person scowled, a small, child sized yet adult looking woman with short auburn hair and oddly mismatched eyes. One warm, hazel brown, the other colored in piercing ice blue. She also wore the same kind of uniform like Chix, though it had a few more shimmering golden badges attached to it.

The woman turned towards the, now entirely confused, human police officer.

"Hello", she said, walking slowly towards Cate, who walked slowly backwards, nevertheless steadying herself and preparing for self-defense.

"Please excuse him, this was meant to go down a little bit different. So I guess it's a bit of a shock for you, but I'll explain.

My name 's Captain Holly Short. I am from the LEP, the Lower Elements Police and I am a fairy. Well, an elf to be specific. And ... „ she pointed to her badges "... also a LEPrecon, but that's just my job." The elfin captain smiled warmly.

"I assume you got some questions now, Captain Donpino."

And so she did. Starting by where she was and how on earth the fairy creature knew her name, for god's sake?!

It took more than an hour to explain everything to Cate.

And another half to actually believe it.

High-tech fairies, living in an underground society, criminal fairy smugglers in California, those weird suspects she has arrested being ... goblins or something like that.

All of this sounded so incredibly insane, Cate was thinking of a really, really clever prank from her co-workers in one last attempt to find a reasonable explanation.

To be fair, the detectives Matt Carnelian and Nick Frye, did once pull of a similar prank, ... but the price they had to pay had been way too high for them ever attempting anything alike again.

And now these people somehow ... needed her ... her help?

The suspects, ... those really, small kind of smelly dwarfs, actually were dwarfs. Real and actual dwarfs...

A big part of her still refused to belief all of this. But somehow, in a small part in the back of her head, a tiny voice said, that it actually made sense. Somehow.

And finally Cate believed it.