A/N: This pairing hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm prepared to drag all of you down with me.

Yuuji Norita is that one guy who developed a crush on Nagisa while he was crossdressing during the island arc. Yeah. That guy. That twoshot character. I dunno, I thought he had potential.

((cover art by firlinaruning on deviantart))

Yuuji was pretty sure he was the most miserable person on earth.

He didn't say a word as he walked down the street, focused on getting to his destination as quickly as possible. His short, black hair made him indistinguishable from anyone else in the crowd. The chill clung to his black sweater, worn over a plain shirt. His New-York baseball cap was pulled down low, forcing him to squint even more than usual out from under its brim.

The skies were gray above the Tokyo suburb. A slight wind blew the dingy clouds back and forth. It felt like a day that couldn't decide what it wanted to be—it might eventually yield to sunny weather, or break into a full storm. The buildings were covered in signs advertising all manner of wares, mostly in Japanese, but some English letters were scattered around too. People passed by Yuuji on all sides, almost close enough to brush against him. None of them paid much attention to a third-year middle school kid. Old men tottered, businesspeople talked on their phones, two little kids held onto their mother, and schoolgirls passed dressed in different uniforms.

Yuuji pulled his sweater closer around him and scowled. Being in this place brought up old memories.

It wasn't like he didn't want to be here, Yuuji thought as he kicked at a pebble. He had just had a lot to think about these past few months, that's all. And all of it had started right here.

Still, he couldn't leave. Yuuji pulled out his phone and checked an address, pausing to look up at a street sign. He was here on a foodie request.

Why do I even have that stupid blog? Yuuji grumbled to himself for the millionth time. Food-tasting isn't exactly a talent that people would expect a fifteen-year-old to have. Once the novelty wears off, I'm sure the internet will move on to the next best thing. True, someone had once told him to continue his talent. Something about "a second blade" and how "even the parts of yourself that you don't like can be a weapon". And Yuuji had continued on like that for a while. But one piece of advice and a warm fuzzy feeling were things that faded quickly. It wasn't exactly enough to live on.

This was the millionth time he had argued with himself, and the millionth time that he had gone anyway. Still… Yuuji glanced at his phone again. Someone had paid a rather large amount for him to check out this new ramen place. The least he could do was comply. And hey, money was money. Not that Yuuji needed it. But it did make him feel a little more separate from his parents—more independent, at least.

And there was the ramen shop, just across the street. Yuuji stepped into the doorway and shivered for a moment, rubbing his hands together. God, he hated the cold. Then he opened the door and went inside.

One of the host staff bowed and welcomed him. Yuuji nodded, used to it. He sat down at a window booth.

The moment his phone hit the wood paneling it blinked on. The screen opened to what looked like a pale screenshot. It was a list of names, with the words Kunugigaoka Student Roster at the head.

Yuuji lunged and hastily pressed the lock button. Curse him for leaving the photo app open! He felt heat rise in his ears and cheeks, like he was embarrassed. He hadn't needed to use that list in… in…

He frowned. How long ago had that been? A few weeks? A few months? Yuuji shook his head. It might as well have been years.

That was all his brain needed to release its convoluted thoughts again. His mind began to wander, wrapped up in ocean spray and dull memories of a crowded, beat-heavy dance floor. Yes, he admitted, that was what he had been avoiding thinking about all this time. He thought of Nagisa-chan, the girl—No, Yuuji reminded himself, The boy—he had met that day on the island.

She- he had shown up in a punk outfit, but was obviously new. She- he hadn't looked comfortable in that sort of environment, which Yuuji remembered had been rather endearing. God knew angels were rare in the hellholes he visited. They had talked for a while about certain things. He still remembered her- his small laugh, shifting in that chair, fiddling with wristbands, smiling up at him from across the table. She- he had even frowned at Yuuji when he brought up the idea of beers and a blunt. Then, as suddenly as she- no, he had appeared, Nagisa left.

Then they met again at Nagisa's school. Yuuji played with the edge of a napkin as he thought. In retrospect, maybe he had been a bit overeager when finding Nagisa from the hotel's guest list. Scouring the register, managing to find her- his school, then showing up during the school festival before demanding that Nagisa talk to him…he must have looked like a total stalker.

But even so, Yuuji couldn't bring himself to regret it. He stared off into space. Some part of him still felt a small trill of joy when he thought of the afternoon they had shared, huddled over a few steaming plates of food, him talking and Nagisa putting up with his foolishness. His stomach had been full of butterflies, but something in the air had seemed almost magical. It was an afternoon that he had never wanted to end.

It was there Nagisa had told him he was really a guy.

A cactus prickled at Yuuji's heart. He brought one hand to his head, groaning in embarrassment. God. He should have known. Or maybe he shouldn't have. It wasn't like it was obvious, right? He had literally no reason to question it, in fact, until Nagisa had brought it up.

Sometimes he still wondered if Nagisa had been lying. But then Yuuji remembered that honest smile Nagisa had given him, that clear face, those blue eyes open and full of trust. He had just told Nagisa that he could tell when people were lying and then…Nagisa had gone and shown him that face. Yuuji sighed. There was no doubt. It must be true.

Still, Nagisa Shiota had to be the kindest person that Yuuji had ever met. Maybe that was why he found it so hard to forget- him.

While he was thinking, Yuuji absentmindedly reached inside his shoulder bag. His fingers closed around a little white box and took it out, placing it on the table. It was a pack of cigarettes.

Yuuji stared down at the box sitting in front of him. He had chosen a seat in the smoking section. The ashtray over to the side even felt like it was giving him eyes. It was illegal at his age, but that didn't matter. He could just pay off the wait staff. He knew this from experience.

Yuuji hadn't started smoking yet; this was the first pack he ever bought. But it couldn't be that different from the other stuff he had tried. Once, he might have justified it with something like 'being the first in my grade to try this is cool'. But now, comparing this pack with the carton of marijuana blunts he used to have, Yuuji could only think that this was something like growing up.

He ripped open the seal with a halfhearted 'tch' and tipped the box upside down, sliding one of the cylinders out into his palm. Why not? No one else was here to watch his life fall apart.

A thought suddenly struck him. Yuuji frowned. Wait. If Nagisa had been a boy all along, then why was he wearing a skirt? And not just on one occasion, but two—especially considering Yuuji had shown up at Kunugigaoka out of nowhere to surprise him.

Yuuji thought for a moment. Then he shrugged. Maybe Nagisa was just a crossdresser. Not that I can blame him. Yuuji's mind wandered. He was cuter than any girl I've ever met…

He had just brought the cigarette to his lips when a voice interrupted. "Sorry for the wait, sir! How may I help you?"

It must be a waitress. Yuuji turned. "Yeah, I'll take a-"

He froze in shock. A short, lithe frame. Soft, blue hair tied up in pigtails. A gently-curved face. Two deep, blue eyes that reminded Yuuji of the ocean, or the tide when they blinked.

The unlit cigarette fell from Yuuji's mouth. "Ah…"

The other person's eyes widened. Their face began to color, flushing a dark pink.

It was her. Him. The girl—no, boy. Don't forget. Boyboyboyboy—he had once chased after.

It was Nagisa.

"Geh… Yuuji!" Nagisa said, his pen rattling against a little notepad in shock. His face twisted, as if trying to express multiple reactions at once. He was dressed in a waiter's uniform, wearing a neat white shirt overlaid by a blue vest, along with black pants.

His name. Yuuji wasn't sure why, but a strange sense of relief shot through his chest. Nagisa remembered his name.

Yuuji couldn't breathe. He was faintly aware that his heart seemed to have stopped. Then his heartbeat started back up again, fluttering as lightly as a bird. All he could think of was that face, that face, it was that same face.

"Sorry," he blurted.

Nagisa looked confused. "What?"

"Sorry, I mean, I'll leave, I-I didn't…" His gaze flicked down to see that the other boy was wearing pants. Yuuji didn't know why he found that fact strange.

A white shape loomed in the corner of his vision. He suddenly became aware of the pack of cigarettes by his side. Shame moved Yuuji's elbow to cover it on automatic. Nagisa's eyes flicked there and then back.

Yuuji gritted his teeth. Damn it. He knew Nagisa had seen the box. Of course he would—the boy was too quick. Yuuji screamed internally and filled his head with self-directed swearing. Here he was, smoking right in front of the boy who had gotten him off of drugs! Nagisa had practically turned his life around, and how did Yuuji repay him? God!

Nagisa shifted on his feet. He wouldn't meet Yuuji's eyes. "It's, uh… It's been a while," he said.

Yuuji nodded wordlessly. Dimly, he realized he should probably pick his jaw up off the floor.

"How've you been?"

Yuuji mumbled something that sounded like 'alright'.

Nagisa fidgeted again. He gave a small, shy smile. "I guess I should be glad you're not seeing me in a skirt this time."

"Uh…yeah." Yuuji wasn't sure if it was okay to laugh at that or not. He went the safe route, giving a quick, quiet chuckle. He tried to focus over the pounding of his heart. Words. Words. It wasn't easy. "It's…It's good to see you."

The other boy nodded.

Yuuji drummed his fingers on the table. He cleared his throat. "So you, ah…you have a part-time job here?"

Nagisa's eyes flicked to the side. "You could say that." He held his notepad up in front of him, close to his face. From where Yuuji was sitting, it looked almost like a shield.

"Oh. I see."

After a bit of silence, Nagisa spoke again. "Hey," he said, getting Yuuji's attention. "Thanks for that blog post. You know, the one about our stall at the school festival…"

"What? Oh, that one." Yuuji fought to keep his face straight. The one from the blog he was slowing down and thinking of abandoning. If this had been a manga, he would have been looking back over his shoulder at the camera with a pained expression. "Right. Don't worry about it."

"No, honestly. I was so glad after reading it." Nagisa gave a breathy, embarrassed laugh. His hair was brushed away from his face just as Yuuji had remembered it. His words came out rushed, like he had wanted to say this for a long time. "Honestly, I had been really worried that I might have hurt you back there."

"What? No." Yuuji jerked upright in his seat. "You could never… I mean, you didn't hurt me, Nagisa. Not at all." His tongue had seemed to stutter for a moment.

Something flashed through Yuuji's memory. He saw a grassy schoolyard, Nagisa sitting on the ground, and Yuuji himself grabbing his bag and leaving through a bush, calling back over his shoulder something about "being an idiot". Yuuji winced. If anything, he was worried that he had been the one to hurt Nagisa.

The blue-haired boy smiled. "Well, it really helped us out. Did you know? After you left, our amount of customers increased tenfold. People were coming to our stall from all over Japan. It was crazy."

"Really?" Electricity shot up Yuuji's spine at the thought that he might have actually been able to help Nagisa. "That's great! Did you win? It was part of a school competition, right? You guys all looked pretty serious."

Nagisa laughed. "No, but it was close! We ran out of ingredients on the second day. All of the dishes you recommended sold out."

"Oh," Yuuji said, feeling suddenly sheepish. "Sorry for driving you out of business, then."

"No, no, it's fine." Nagisa waved one hand in a dismissive gesture. "We still made a killing. And we probably wouldn't have won anyway. Some kid in the leading class hosted and led his own rock concert."

"No kidding? What a schmuck!" Yuuji laughed.

The air between them gradually became more relaxed. With each new joke and exchange of information, the mood lightened.

Yuuji wondered if the host staff would get angry at Nagisa for spending so long with one customer. He didn't spare a glance to check, not wanting to look away for a single moment. He hoped that they wouldn't. Just sitting here, watching Nagisa's face light up was great. His shoulders felt weightless. He hadn't been this effortlessly happy in a long time.

Soon, he even started to feel a bit brave.

"Well, if I knew you had a job here, I would have reviewed this place sooner," Yuuji teased. "I could have come to see you every day."

Immediately, Nagisa's smile faded. He looked away. And this time, he did not look back. "Ah…no, you couldn't," he muttered. "I'm sorry."

Yuuji's face fell. "Oh." It felt like a rock had been tossed into his chest. He was already cursing his party-boy bravado inside his head. "Why not?"

"It's complicated," Nagisa said. He held up his notepad. "Basically, I'm only here for one day."

"What? But why?" Yuuji hated how he sounded like a toddler, but he couldn't stop himself from whining.

"It's a secret." And just like that, Nagisa had retreated back behind his professional demeanor. Yuuji had a sudden feeling of a priceless treasure withdrawing back inside of its case. His fingers ached. He wanted to reach in and get it back out.

"Sorry, Yuuji. But, hey, forget about that. Could I start you off with anyth-"

boom

A muffled blast came from the back of the restaurant.

The silverware on top of Yuuji's table clattered briefly. Glasses clinked together, drinks swishing around inside of them. Other patrons muttered. Some even craned their necks to look towards the noise. The hosts and wait staff began to hurry around, spreading their arms and talking to people in soothing voices, trying to keep them calm. Meanwhile, a few of them broke off and rushed towards the back.

Yuuji sat up in his seat. He leaned over, looking towards the kitchen. "What was that? It sounded like an explosion!"

When he turned back to Nagisa, his entire world paused.

Nagisa was looking off towards the back of the room with a clear gaze. He stood tall, bent at the shoulders into a ready stance. The air around him didn't feel like it belonged to a waiter anymore. He gripped his notepad hard enough to bend the pages, tilting it forward as if he wished it were…something else.

Yuuji suppressed an instinctual shudder. Something was different in Nagisa's eyes. They were so precise.

And yet, when he looked back, Yuuji saw that they were the exact same shade of embracing, gentle blue. "I'm sorry, Yuuji. Something's come up," Nagisa apologized again. "See you next time."

He flashed Yuuji a smile and time seemed to slow down. His smile was the brightest thing that Yuuji had ever seen, accentuated by a light blush. Nagisa's soft lips formed a perfect half-moon shape, curtailed at the ends with embarrassment. His eyes almost closed for a moment. Every inch of Nagisa's face seemed to project warmth, like a miniature sun. For one moment, Yuuji thought he could see every ray of light passing by in the background.

Then Nagisa charged off, running out of a side door at the last moment rather than towards the back of the restaurant.

Yuuji breathed, but only shallowly. That smile. It had been the exact same smile from back then. How dare he? What was Yuuji supposed to do with that?

"I…that…what?" Yuuji paused, half-standing in his seat. His mind whirled with confusion and…was that a strange sort of happiness? But his body was on full adrenaline-alert. All he knew at the moment was that Nagisa had run off. He might need Yuuji's help!

Yuuji looked around. Nobody else was going. In fact, with each moment that passed, things were slowly but surely returning to normal. If he was going to leave, the time had to be now before people became calm again.

But something kept him rooted to his seat. Yuuji's fist shook on the table. He tried again to get himself to budge, ordering his legs to move. They twitched. Damn it! His mind boiled with frustration. What was it that was keeping him here? Fear? His own inadequacy?

He thought again of Nagisa's smile.

The next thing he knew, he was standing beside the table. "Ugh…" Yuuji groaned. He grabbed his stuff, swinging his messenger bag over one shoulder. He groped around. Cell phone, baseball cap, go!

He had just started to run when he noticed the pack of cigarettes still laying on the wooden table surface. Yuuji's feet halted. His hands made weak grabbing motions, reaching back towards it.

"Tch." He swiped one hand through the air, as if saying it wasn't worth it. Then Yuuji sprinted off, as fast as he could make himself go.

A vision flashed through Yuuji's memory. He saw himself on a similar occasion, lying propped up against the wall of a dance club, laid slack-jawed by a knockout smile. He stared blankly into space. A blush danced lightly on his cheeks. In one smooth motion, he reached into a pocket and threw away a pack of marijuana blunts. He wouldn't be needing those anymore.

The box of cigarettes wasn't tossed away by Yuuji this time. But it faded behind him just the same.

He hit the emergency door and burst through it, propelled by one glorious, irrational thought. It pounded through his swinging arms and through his trembling heart as if it belonged there.

Nagisa. He had to see Nagisa again.