Alone, a final fantasy: advent children fanfic

Breaking Benjamin

What Lies Beneath

Cloud doesn't know when or how things changed; slowly enough over time that he never noticed, or suddenly overnight. He wakes up alone most mornings, frequently the nights are just as lonely. When Sephiroth does come home, things are usually quiet. Eat, fuck, sleep, and then wake up to an empty bed.

Take a breath

Hold it in

Start a fight

You won't win

He hates it, but doesn't know what to do. The love he feels for Sephiroth is still there, but it's like it's not reciprocated anymore. The man is slipping further away each day, no matter how Cloud tries.

Had enough

Let's begin

Nevermind

I don't care

Crying is something Cloud rarely does, but the occurrences seem to be getting more frequent, though he can easily hide them from Sephiroth now that things are the way they are. He is simply never around to see them.

All in all

You're no good

You don't cry

Like you should

Let it go

If you could

When love dies in the end

On the nights when he is alone and allows himself to cry quietly into the pillows, he can just imagine Sephiroth's cruel and amused smile if the man ever saw the tears. He hasn't always been so harsh, but things have changed and there will clearly be no sympathy if Cloud speaks to him about it.

So I'll find what lies beneath

Your sick twisted smile

The bored and uncaring look in Sephiroth's eyes while he fucks him makes Cloud nervous, but he won't bring it up to Sephiroth because that would just make him leave completely. Cloud has had to remind himself of that each time he almost does. After all, an occasionally present Sephiroth is better than a completely non-existent one.

As I lie underneath

Your cold jaded eyes

He hears rumors about other people Sephiroth has been seeing, but Cloud ignores it the best he can. It's not like he's deluded enough to think they're false, but there is simply nothing he can do about it other than to try to be a better fuck than them.

Now you turn the tide on me

'Cause you're so unkind

I will always be here

For the rest of my life

Cloud has never been plagued with suicidal thoughts in years prior, but recently they have playing through his mind. How much easier would things be if he just ended it? He's losing the one he loves and it's probably Cloud's own fault, so what's the point?

Here we go

Does it hurt

Say goodbye

To this world

When his thoughts turn dark, he makes himself go to sleep, at least it's a temporary escape, though his dreams are usually worse than reality. He often takes comfort in that fact when he wakes from the nightmares, that at least things with Sephiroth are better than what he just left.

I will not

Be undone

Come to life

It gets worse

After almost a full week of not once seeing Sephiroth, Cloud comes home to find that all of Sephiroth's things are gone. There's no note or anything, everything is just gone. As if the man's entire existence in Cloud's life has been erased.

Don't carry me under

You're the devil in disguise

God sing for the hopeless

I'm the one you left behind

He prides himself on not being one for dramatics, but Cloud curls up under the blankets and allows himself to cry and scream. Sephiroth is gone and there's nothing he can do about it. His life has come crashing down around him, but he can't move. Can't speak. He is truly alone.