Chapter 15

Zero had faced many things in the short time since his awakening, but none of them had prepared him for the wrath of an angry Cyber Elf. He had just dropped Iris off at the infirmary when he found himself face to face with a tiny ball of fury.

"What is wrong with you?!" Lumen screeched. "You were so close, and you totally blew it!"

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You and Riss!" she fumed. "You were just inches apart, and you let her go!"

"I fail to see the problem with that. And why were you spying on us?"

Lumen groaned and smacked her forehead. "I can't believe this. You like Riss, don't you?"

Zero found that he couldn't answer her. Seeing Lumen's impatient expression, he finally said, "I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?! Either you do or you don't!"

"Iris has expressed very little other than hostility and hatred towards me. Logic states that I should not like her, yet I cannot conclusively say I don't."

"You are an idiot," Lumen growled. "You flat out told her she makes you happy. It's obvious that you like her!"

"If you already knew, then why'd you ask me?"

"Because I was— Never mind. I see what the problem is, now. The two of you are too stupid to recognize your own feelings."

The Cyber Elf stormed off, leaving Zero even more confused. He had no idea why she was so angry. Perhaps females were simply wired differently. After all, Iris always seemed to be set off by the simplest things.

Iris. Just thinking about her brought forth a surge of inexplicable sensations. Right from the start she intrigued him in a way no one else had. He knew her to be a stranger, and yet he felt like had met her before. Logic dictated that he solve this paradox.

Weeks had passed since then, and he was no closer to a definitive answer. The only thing he was certain of was that his initial curiosity had grown into something far stronger. Iris had become as important to him as Ciel, and it spurned him to protect her at any cost. Despite her temper and obvious distaste for him, he found herself enjoying her company – as long as she kept her secret weapon sheathed.

That was another thing that puzzled him. Iris was unnervingly good at making him feel like he had just been stabbed in the chest, and yet he could never find any evidence of a physical injury. How could she create such a powerful, tangible sensation with only her words and expressions?

He shook his head. There was no point trying to figure it out. He had long ago resigned that he would never understand her. With those thoughts pushed to the back of his mind, Zero made his way toward his room. Ciel had given him sizable living quarters, most likely out of gratitude. Normally the extra space would not have mattered to him, but during these past days he had been using it for weapon practice.

He didn't need the practice, as combat was a key part of his programming, but having nothing to do for hours on end was grating on him. His body craved the rush of battle, the synthadrenaline coursing through his veins, the hum of his blade as it cleaved a robot in two. Going through the motions didn't completely stave off the urge, but it kept him from going stir-crazy.

Zero twirled the Triple Rod in front of him with a speed and ease that would have made any color guard member jealous. The spear-like weapon still did not feel as natural as his Z-Saber, but its great reach and guarding ability had been useful on several of his missions. Besides, Cerveau had worked hard to make it for him, and far be it from him to let a weapon go to waste.

The fact that Iris had played a hand in its creation probably helped, too.

He had been very surprised when Cerveau mentioned that Iris had assisted him. Despite her disdain at being collared, she still gave Zero support, albeit indirectly. It had given him that warm, light sensation that Iris called "happiness".

Exhaling heavily, Zero retracted the Triple Rod and slid it back into its holster. There was still some time before Iris got off work. He wondered if Ciel's condition had improved. Rocinolle had been adamant about making sure the scientist got lots of rest, to the point where she refused to let him visit if Ciel was sleeping or feeling especially bad. Zero respected her resolve; besides Iris, Rocinolle seemed to be the only Reploid in the base capable of telling him "no".

He headed for Ciel's room and was relieved when Rocinolle allowed him inside. Ciel was sitting upright in bed, a definite step up from the last time he saw her. She still looked pale, however, and Rocinolle and Alouette were busy tending to her.

"Zero!" Ciel exclaimed. "How nice of you to visit!"

He nodded and grunted a greeting. "It's good to see you're feeling better."

"Yes. I feel much better." She smiled brightly. "I'll be back to my old self in no time."

"Don't be so hasty, young lady," Rocinolle warned. "You aren't going anywhere for a few more days at least."

"Zero, I'm so sorry," said Ciel. "Look at me, sick in bed when everyone needs me the most. Some leader I am."

"It's nothing you need to apologize for. Just focus on recovering."

"But I wasn't there for you when I should have been!" Ciel protested. "The base was attacked and I couldn't do a thing about it! I let you and everyone else down!"

"Ciel, stop," Zero ordered. "Don't worry about what happened. The base is safe, and I intend to keep it that way."

Ciel smiled again, but in a grim fashion. "You're too good to me, Zero. I wish I didn't have to always rely on you, but it seems I have no choice."

Zero snorted. She said that like it was bad thing. Didn't she understand that he didn't mind helping her?

"By the way, Zero, how is Iris doing?" Rocinolle interjected. "Is she giving you a hard time?"

He shrugged. "She's as stubborn as ever, but otherwise she's just fine."

"Oh, that's right," Ciel said, turning to Rocinolle. "You did say Iris was under house arrest for using my computer without permission."

"But she helped Zero, right? Why did she get in trouble for that?" asked Alouette.

"Because she hurt herself and very easily could have hurt everyone else if things went wrong," explained Rocinolle. "I still don't understand how she did it. Despite never having used a computer before, she hacked into that Mechaniloid's blueprints."

"She what?!" cried Ciel. "But those are under Class 5 encryption! Even I have difficulty hacking those!"

"Exactly. And the fact that her processor overheated proves she wasn't designed for such advanced calculations," Rocinolle concluded. "I suspect there is more to Iris than even she knows."

Ciel closed her eyes as she considered all the facts. "Rocinolle, is there any way to bolster Iris's processor?"

The nurse was incredulous. "Why are you asking such a thing?"

"I want her to take my place as Zero's operator."

The room fell silent. Even Zero was stunned by Ciel's suggestion. Once the initial shock wore off, Rocinolle cried, "Dr. Ciel, forgive me, but there is no way I can agree with this! Iris has no experience with operating, and furthermore, I have not once seen her attempt to get along with Zero! Are you seriously considering leaving all of our lives up to chance?!"

"The longer we wait idly, the more time Neo Arcadia will have to plan another attack," Ciel stated. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since I recovered from delirium. I don't want the base to be left vulnerable again."

"Shouldn't we ask Iris what she thinks?" Zero interrupted. "We shouldn't make these decisions for her."

"You know what? You're absolutely right," said Ciel. "Alouette, would you please go fetch Iris for me?"

Alouette nodded eagerly and hurried off. After she was out of sight, Rocinolle turned back to Ciel. "I still don't think this is a good idea. It is possible to increase the capabilities of Iris's processor, but it's a delicate operation. If it goes wrong, she could lose her memories or even change personality. This isn't a decision to make lightly."

"I have full faith in your abilities, Rocinolle," said Ciel. "But it will be up to Iris to make the final decision."

A few minutes later, Alouette returned, accompanied by Iris. She was very confused as to why she was summoned, especially since her punishment restricted where she was allowed to go. Ciel filled her in on the situation, and her eyes grew wider with every word spoken.

"Y-you can't be serious!" she cried. "Me? Guide Zero? I couldn't possibly—"

"But you did an amazing job when the base was under attack," Ciel reasoned. "Even though you broke protocol, you did what you felt was right, and you operated just as well as I would have had I not been ill."

"But I don't know how I did it!" Iris protested. "My body just moved on its own. I don't know if I'd be able to do it again. And even if I do, what if I pass out again?"

"There is a way," said Ciel. "Rocinolle said she can operate on you to upgrade your processor. Then there would be no danger of it overheating. However, the operation has risks of its own. If you aren't willing to undergo it, I won't force you."

Iris chewed her lip, worry evident in her expression. Zero felt his core ache in response.

"Do I have to decide now?" she asked.

"No," Ciel assured. "I understand this is a big decision for you. I want you to consider carefully before you answer. Think it over, and report back to me when you've made up your mind."

Relieved, Iris thanked Ciel profusely. Ciel then dismissed her, and she scampered out of the room.

"I can't say I approve of leaving our fates in the hands of that girl," Rocinolle sighed. "She's too rash. Just look at how many times she's gotten herself into trouble."

"Iris means well," said Ciel. "And her rashness saved us from the Mechaniloid. I am certain she'd make a great operator."

"She hasn't agreed to it yet," stated Rocinolle. "What if she refuses?"

"Then things will just go back to the way they were. I don't want to force Iris into something she doesn't feel comfortable with."

Zero's respect for Ciel grew once more. She had again proved why she was the Resistance leader in spite of her young age. With the matter of Iris settled, he excused himself and made for the infirmary to wait for his charge. Iris emerged after about fifteen minutes sporting a pensive expression. She acknowledged him for all of half a second, gave him her hand, and went back to being lost in thought.

When they returned to her room, Iris sat on her bed, her mind still a million miles away. Zero allowed her some space, knowing that she needed time to consider Ciel's offer.

"Zero, what do you think I should do?"

He blinked, not expecting to be addressed. His surprise must have been evident on his face, as Iris immediately averted her eyes. "Uh, I mean… Never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Asking for advice is nothing to be ashamed of," said Zero. "But this isn't something I can decide for you."

"Some help you are," Iris groaned. "I should've known better than to ask you."

"All I want is for you to be happy."

Her face turned a brilliant red. "D-don't say things like that! This is hard enough as it is!"

Zero felt a stab of guilt. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to trouble you further."

"It's just that—" She winced and shook her head. "It's just that this is my big chance. My chance to be someone special instead of just one of the crowd. But I'm scared. I know that the slightest mistakes in a processor operation have severe consequences. And even if the operation is successful, what if I mess up on a mission? If I make a mistake, it's you who reaps the penalty. I…I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened."

Her face reddened again. "Wh-why am I telling you all this? I must sound so stupid."

"Iris."

"Y-yes?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Easy for you to say!" she snapped, jumping to her feet. "Look at where my decisions have gotten me! I lost my voice, I collapsed from hunger, I drunk myself into a stupor, I overheated my processor, and…and…"

Her face screwed up, and her chest quivered as she began to sob. Damn it, he hated seeing her like this!

"I'm a disaster," Iris concluded. "I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for you. And I was too proud and stubborn to thank you for saving me. You'd have to be the idiot of the century to trust me with your life."

Zero found himself tucking a lose tuft of her hair behind her ear. She stopped crying and looked up at him, eyes wide with shock.

"I guess that makes me the idiot of the century, then," he said.

For a moment, she stared at him. Then she began to laugh wildly. Zero felt his cheeks grow warm. He hadn't expected her to react like this.

"You— I can't believe this!" Iris sputtered. "You've said some really stupid things, Zero, but this takes the cake!"

"I don't understand," said Zero.

"You admitted that you're an idiot! The idiot of the century, no less!" Growing more solemn, she continued, "I know I've called you an idiot many times now, but this is the stupidest thing you've ever done. I can't make a good decision to save my life. I feel like no matter what I choose, it's going to end badly."

"It's true that you haven't made the best decisions before," Zero conceded. "But that doesn't mean that you're incapable of making good decisions."

"But I—"

He silenced her with a finger. "Whether you accept or reject Ciel's offer, I'll make sure you won't regret your choice."

"How are you going to do that?" she asked. He smiled at her.

"Like I do anything else: I'll improvise."

Iris laughed again. The sound was exceedingly pleasant. "If anyone else had said that, I would have had my doubts. But since you obviously pulled that sentence out of your ass, I guess I have nothing to worry about!"

"What? I didn't pull it out of my ass!" Zero exclaimed. Iris only laughed harder.

"Never change, Zero. Never change."

He had no idea what she was talking about, but at least he got her to stop crying. He didn't think he'd be able to stand a night of her being upset.

"You know, I've been thinking," said Iris. "Maybe I had you all wrong."

"What do you mean?"

She stared at the floor and fiddled with her fingers. "Well, we got off on a really bad foot, and after that, I just landed in one disaster after another. But lately – these past few days, I mean – I feel like I'm finally starting to understand you."

"That's more than I can say," Zero admitted.

"I don't think someone like you could ever understand a girl's thoughts," Iris said dryly. "But I think I've finally come to accept that's just part of you are. I guess what I'm trying to say is…do you want to start over?"

"Start what over?"

"I mean we can put all our arguments and grudges behind us. Let bygones be bygones. That sort of thing."

"I don't see a problem with that."

Iris gasped. "Y-you'd drop everything just like that? Even though I've been nothing but rotten to you?"

"It never really bothered me," he answered. Except when you told me you hated me.

"Zero, you are either incredibly kind or incredibly foolish," Iris stated. "I can't tell which. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful. I…I really don't think I deserve your forgiveness, but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth."

She extended her hand and smiled shyly. "So… Bygones?"

Once Zero concluded that his components had in fact, not melted, he accepted her handshake. He ignored the familiar tingle the contact caused. "Bygones."

"This doesn't mean I'm going to stop calling you an idiot, though," she said with a smirk.

"I would think something was wrong with you otherwise," he responded.

"Good to see we at least agree on that. Well, it's getting late, so I'll be going to bed. I've got a lot to think about tomorrow. Plus, I still haven't kept my promise."

"Don't worry about that. You've got enough on your mind already."

Iris shook her head. "No. I blew you off long enough. I need to stop being so selfish. Dr. Ciel said to report to her when I was ready, so I can take as much time as I needed to decide. She shouldn't mind if I delay for a day or two."

Zero opened his mouth to protest, and then promptly closed it. It was obvious Iris wasn't going to change her mind. "If you say so."

She smiled again and turned off the light. "Good night, Zero."

"Good night," he responded. He settled himself against the wall and prepared to go to sleep himself. He was still puzzled by Iris and his body's reactions to her, but at the very least she didn't seem to hate him anymore. For now, that was good enough for him.

This. Is. So. Very. Late. These past few months have been very, very busy for me. My job and my job search have eaten up a lot of my time. Plus, I was absolutely stuck on this chapter for the longest time. Iris wasn't working with me, so I ended up writing in Zero's point of view for a change. Even then, I was totally stuck on how to proceed until a few days ago, when I finally got inspiration thanks to my Inktober drawings. Ended up nearly draining my poor tablet's battery one night. But I got it out, and I really hope this was worth the long wait.

I think I'm going to put this story on hiatus for a while, though. I have an important job interview at the end of the month, plus I want to finish the Inktober challenge. Once things have settled down a little, I'll try to write again. As of now, though, my muse and my free time are pretty spent.