Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: Written purely out of crack and sleep deprivation.

The Eye

"I'm the savior of this world, I'll do it!" Madara vociferated at the top of his lungs, and catapulted himself towards Team 7.

The ground caved at the sheer impact of Madara's landing. Bits of stones blasted from the surface and spewed itself all over the desolated area of the battlefield.

"Madara!" Naruto snarled bitterly through his teeth.

Sakura's eyes gaped at the sight of their foe's new form. Long, pure, white hair swayed dramatically in time with the wind, black rings dilated from the center of the pool of purple, the Rinnegan.

"The eye on his forehead!" she gasped in shock.

Both Sasuke and Naruto darted their stony glares at the center of Madara's forehead. The slit of the eye widened and it spun erratically, clockwise before it curved backwards.

"I can't believe it," Sasuke muttered lowly. "I didn't notice it then, but I see it clearly now."

Naruto nodded along with him, swallowing hard. "Yeah, now that you mention it. That eye on his forehead..."

Madara grinned ominously. 'That's it, shiver... shiver in fear, you prepubescent boys!'

Naruto slapped his knee then hugged his stomach as he roared out a raging laughter. Sasuke tried to refrain himself from laughing along with Naruto by biting his lower lip, but his laughter involuntarily escape through his lips.

"Hey, hey, what's so funny?" Madara furiously inquired. "You're supposed to be shivering in fear!"

"Haven't you seen what that eye on your forehead looks like?" the blond cackled.

Sasuke began to stomp his foot down on the ground. "No, don't, you're killing me already."

In the background Sakura frowned and Kakashi sighed.

"Sensei, what's going on with Sasuke-kun and Naruto?"

Her sensei shook his head. "I have no idea, but they sound quite high."

Madara indignantly shot his finger at them. "Hey, you two, what's so funny, tell me!"

"Your eye looks like a vagina!" Naruto roared out.

"What?" he sharply snarled, then adamantly protested. "It does not!"

"Hey, hey, Sasuke," Naruto tapped his teammate with a chakra form hand, since they were quite a distance away from each other. "If you had that on your forehead, you'd be called Sasgay."

The blond roared out another set of laughter.

Sasuke gave a stern glare. "Dobe, way to go to ruin the joke."

Naruto glaringly pointed his finger at Madara. "You know," he said. "If you just wanted to come out.. you didn't need to do all of this."

"What was that?!"

"People would have accepted you if you claimed you wanted to be a woman, dattebayo."

The eye on Madara's forehead widened.

"Holy shit!" Sasuke shrieked. "How big can it get?!"

"Was what she said," Naruto snickered smugly.

"That's it!" Madara joined both his hands together. "I'll condemn the both of you to hell!"

"I think we touched a touchy subject, Naruto!"

"Perish, you brats!"

A strong gust of wind brought more sediments to Naruto and Sasuke, blocking their vision.

"Ngh,"

Then all of a sudden the hurl of wind disappeared. Strands of blood splattered all over the pavement.

"What the hell, that's a friendly kill!" Naruto screamed.

"What are you doing?!" Madara snarled. "You're my Will!"

"No," the Black Zetsu shook his head. "I am... Kaguya's Will."

"Why?"

"The answer is simple.."

Both Naruto and Sasuke prepared themselves.

"She has boobs, you don't."

"What the fuck?!" Sasuke said out loud.

It all happened in a flash. The ground became unstable, it cracked and shattered into a pile of rubble. Madara's body became corrupted with blackness. Naruto and Sasuke leaped into action, jutsu in their hand.

But it was too late.

Madara's body shattered.

And a woman appeared before them.

"Kaguya-sama," the Black Zetsu obediently said in a calm voice. "You've finally arrived."

"I don't believe it..." Naruto muttered.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "I know."

"Madara's had a sex change!"