Disclaimer: I in no way or form have any ownership over the Harry Potter series, and do not pretend to. Some dialogue in this story will be directly taken from the Harry Potter series so all credit to those portions must be given to J.K. Rowling.

Warnings: Perhaps one too many curse words and every other canon warning there might be is likewise included.

Notes: I had started writing this story a while ago, but real life sort of derailed those plans, so I'm trying again! I really like using different and not overly used POVs while writing. I just think that looking at a story from a character's perspective that's not necessarily the protagonist gives more depth and insight to the writing, or in some cases when I want to surprise you readers, less. I also know that people get tired of reading rehashes of the first book, so hopefully this is different enough to appease.

My other main love in writing is humor. So if I fail at this, please let me know! There will of course be parts that are serious, but overall I would rather put a smile to people's faces. But if you laugh even once I claim a review at least saying "lol", and I'm pretty sure- fingers crossed- you'll laugh several times! :) So please continue on and giggle!

A Trick with a Terrible Treat

Written by Shadow Hunt
Inspired by late night talks with Darkowand

Prologue - Sirius's Defense

It was suppose to be a joke to lighten the mood around the house, that was all. It was a small joke when James cast the spell, just to make Lily flip her lid so he and I could get a few good laughs over it, but the joke sort of blew out of proportion. Okay, so it really blew out of proportion. So much so that it has fooled the entire world, muggles and wizards alike- and that's no exaggeration ladies and gents, no matter how much I wish it was. Then again, it's probably the only thing that's kept me sanely laughing all these years in Azkaban so maybe I should be thankful for it.

But before I go into any details, maybe I should start from the very beginning just so it can be seen that I'm perfectly innocent of all charges that might be thought to be thrown upon my unholy self. Then again, when has anyone cared whether or not I'm innocent? I'm Black by name, so apparently I must be black by nature. Off with my black head they say!

Just to state a fact though, my head is rather handsome so I don't see why people don't seem to want it on my equally handsome body. Silly people with their silly prejudices blinding them... Off with their head I say!

I seem to have digressed…

James and I were sitting in his living room with his son Harry, sweet ickle Harry, in between us crawling around like any normal baby boy would. It was Halloween morning, our favorite time of the year next to April Fools day, but with the war going on and the Potters being under the Fidelius charm because of said war, we couldn't do anything but enchant Harry's baby toys to attack each other. Though we did that all the time, so our boredom was obviously at it's peek. I mean we were the Marauders for Merlin's sake! We pranked the living snot out of Hogwarts since year one, and each and every Halloween, without fail, we would cast a rain of terror like none other upon the students! Even in the few years we had been out of Hogwarts my muggle neighbors and a select many others were scared shitless from our brilliant creations! (Frankenstein's monster-in-law? Yeah, our idea. Would have publicly claimed it too if a few… legal things hadn't happened. As in the opposite of legal. Illegal. Legal was the type of help we needed to sort out that mess. Anyways.) With that logic in our minds, James and I had decided that there was no way Voldemort could ruin our holiday just like he ruined our year. We deserved at least one day of fun!

Only problem is that our one day of fun has turned into ten years of fun. But Fate is just funny like that.

So there we were, watching my enchanted army men fight off his Lego soldiers (all of whom with that pathetic line-smile) when it hit me. It was the perfect prank to pull on Lily, since it would come from left field and hit her right in the heart. It'd scare her out of her knickers too, and that's what Halloween is all about! The only problem was distracting Lily long enough so she wouldn't notice the spell we'd have to put on Harry, which was fairly strong since it was one of our own creations. We never gave it a name. We figured that nothing could adequately title a spell that could permanently give a guy the worst case of gender dysmorphia a muggle psychologist has ever seen. I wouldn't have even considered using it on my godson if I didn't think it would be taken off as soon as the joke was over. See, the spell only did damage if the person affected knew there was something amiss. Considering Harry was probably still learning object permanence, there was no chance that he would notice the change in between his legs. Actually, even if his brain was developed enough to understand such things, he wouldn't. That was part of the spell.

Let's take a moment to bask in our genius.

It works like this. Transfiguration magic changes one thing into another. Like a striking young man into a lovable dog, for example. Our spell was aimed to replicate this without actually physically changing anything, just making it seem like it had. So an illusion, so to speak. A transillusion (trademark of Marauders Inc.). We call it a transillusionment charm because everyone who looks at the subject of the spell comprehends, using our example as reference, the man only as a dog. The man, on the other hand, only sees himself as a man. Because he is a man, not a dog- that's what you got to remember. With this spell nothing has changed except for what everyone besides the subject sees, hears, and feels.

Confused? I hope not, because here are some specifics. Our spell is permanent in the sense that it can only be broken by the caster. Remus never figured out why this was the case and honestly hadn't tried very hard to understand it in the first place. Mostly because it was better this way. We had designed this charm to use on a poor Ravenclaw bloke our third year in Hogwarts when he gloated to us that we didn't know half of the spells he knew. Well, he might have been right, but at least a few we did know he couldn't do shite about! Except retaliate, I guess, which he tried frequently with little success.

I sometimes pause to wonder whatever happened to him since he never came back to Hogwarts for his fourth year. Did he hole up in his room forever? Did he simply transfer schools? Did he actually become a prostitute like James guessed? I might have done any of those things in his position. Most people would consider the same. Because really, what man would want to be involuntarily seen as a woman for the rest of his life? Even viceversa would probably be rough. Imagine the confusion, the desperation, the shame…. and how bloody awkward sex must be for him! Or don't. Or do. I don't know what type of fetishes you may have. Personally it kind of intrigues me.

In case you didn't pick up on what the charm was designed to do, it makes everybody see the subject of the spell as their opposite gender. So a man is seen as a woman but still sees himself as a man, like in the case of the Ravenclaw bloke. And now Harry, unfortunately, through no fault of my own this time, I solemnly swear. I should probably get back to that story now that I mention it. Lesson over, you can end your basking now. Or don't. I don't mind being your fetish.

Lily was hard at work on cooking a Halloween feast for the four of us in the kitchen, completely oblivious to our mischievous plans to enact M.A.D: Mission of Absolute Distraction. By enlarging our toy army's heights to reach our knees and sending them off to the kitchen to do battle with the pots and pans we easily managed to complete our operation with absolute success. It was a proud moment for the both of us. We heard her scream James's name in a way that would be alright in bed I reasoned and cast a few spells at our soldiers. As she was about to cast her fifth James turned to Harry and cast our own spell on the unsuspecting boy.

Harry had blinked a few times quite cutely when the spell hit him before continuing on his merry way towards his enchanted toy box. It automatically gave him whatever toy he wanted; that way we didn't have to keep guessing until he stopped crying. That little bugger was as picky as my mum sometimes, but at least he didn't hate all things abnormal. Well if he did we didn't know it, and I really hope he hasn't started hating the weird and crazy since he's been living with Lily's sister's family, because I clearly remember Lily complaining about them being like that on quite a few occasions before her death. I also really hope that Dumbledore has moved Harry somewhere else since I last heard that he was living with those rotten muggles, but somehow I find myself highly doubting that.

After Lily got our armies back to their original lifeless states, she stomped into the room to give us a rather nasty lecture on proper living room warfare and how it should never enter neutral territory- a.k.a. The Kitchen. Luckily James was smart enough to silently cast a simple spell to make the magic train Harry was holding explode in light and sparks so Lily would stop her yelling. It also gave a possible reason behind what she would soon find.

Instantly Lily's mother instincts rushed her over to the frighten Baby-Who-Peed. After she had calmed Harry down some, she put him on the changing table and took off his diaper to replace it when…

"JAMES! SIRIUS!" Lily had yelled, but this time I think she more resembled a banshee then anything else, which was obviously why my fellow Marauder and I covered our ears before remembering we were suppose to be concerned at that tone. James and I dashed over to her side in fake, but very well acted, worry; looking down at their son who should have had a little baby wee-wee sticking out between his chubby legs, not the lady equivalent. But a female he looked and Lily flipped the lid we knew she would! She also fainted, an added bonus. Ten points to us.

After that I don't know what happened at the Potter residence exactly, because I left James to take care of a passed out Lily on his own to do some shopping. That was my excuse at least. I personally just didn't want to be there when the feisty redhead woke up and started throwing a hissy fit when she figured out that we were the culprits behind her Halloween scare. Unfortunately, she never did find out since she would have forced James to change Harry back the instant he told her, and considering that Harry is now said to be the Girl-Who-Lived, I know the spell was never taken off.

But why oh why would James let such a joke carry on for the next ten years you ask? Simple. Because hours later they were murdered by the feared Lord Voldemort, not giving him a chance to take off the transillusionment charm so his son could rightfully be seen as a son.

Like I said, Fate is funny like that.

Now there are two other things I should probably explain since I bet you're wondering why neither Dumbledore nor I told anyone that Harry is biologically a boy, and technically still is just that nobody but himself can see that. My case is rather simple and stupid, being that I had run without thinking like I so often do as soon as heard my best mate and his wife were murdered. That had lead me to tracking and fighting the secret Secret-Keeper to their Fidelius charm: none other than our good mate and fellow Gryffindor, Death Eater Peter Pettigrew! Let's all give him a round of applause!

That was sarcasm. Don't you dare clap for that bloody no-good rat. It's because of him that all of this happened. If he hadn't- pun intended- ratted the Potter's location out to his dark master, James and Lily would still be alive. If they were still alive, Harry wouldn't be the Girl-Who-Lived. If they were still alive… a lot of things would be different right now. For one, I wouldn't be in Azkaban. Only they could have proved that Peter was their Secret-Keeper, which in turn would prove his Death Eater status. Instead the wizarding world thought both things were me due to James' not so genius idea to flip-flop the two of us. I would have been the obvious choice to hide the Potter's location, so obviously we had to pick the not so obvious person. I doubt many of you are still "basking in our genius" now.

To cut a long story short, I got blamed for the murders of twelve muggles and Peter after said fight. In reality though, it was Peter's fault and his nifty and diabolical escape plan. Because yes, he's not dead, just without a pinky. I also didn't get a trial to tell anyone any of this or of Harry's predicament, so you can see how I'm clearly off the hook for this little gender bender trick on the world. I blame the Black family name for my luck.

Dumbledore on the other hand is a right fool. He honestly thought that the Killing curse Voldemort had cast on Harry had somehow transfigured his body into that of a girl's. Since no one else in history had survived the curse, of course that was logical conclusion. The old man had even said that it was Voldemort's power that stopped them from being able to change Harry back. And so, with that theory firmly placed in mind, Dumbledore released to the world that Harley Lily Potter, the once unannounced twin (to keep her safe was the excuse for not telling people before) of the now allegedly dead Harry James Potter, was the baby that survived the Killing curse and killed the Dark Lord.

So now you know of James's final Halloween joke on the world, one where Harley Lily Potter (horrible name if you ask me) is really Harry James Potter and the only one who can actually see he's a boy is himself. Poor thing must be terribly confused. Probably doesn't help any that Lily's sister always wanted a girl.

But you know, it would have been one hell of a brilliant trick if it weren't for the rather nasty treats that came along with it

Ending Notes: I had a lot of fun writing this prologue! Sirius was an interesting perspective to try to get across. I hope I did him justice.