Embers (2x18 insert)

"You can and you will."

Beckett stared at the ceiling, Castle's earlier words ringing in her ears. Part of her was still annoyed at how he'd basically forced her to stay with him, although if she was being completely honest with herself, she kind of liked that side of him. The protective side, nurturing even, offering to buy her clothes, sleeping on her couch to protect her.

It was late, she knew; she also knew that she needed to sleep, and hoped that her brain cooperated and let her rest for a few hours. But as soon as she closed her eyes, she heard the mechanical "Goodbye, Nikki" and was back in her apartment. If Castle hadn't called her, hadn't warned her, that split second could have made all the difference. She owed him her life. And now, offering up his guest room for however long she needed it? It was too much. If she wasn't careful, she might actually start to love being around him.

Love? She turned to her back and stared at the ceiling. Who the hell was she kidding? He obviously liked her; she caught him staring way more than she should. And while she'd been a great detective already, after he started "consulting," he'd helped her up her game. She still depended on him to see the stories behind the evidence, although she was starting to anticipate parts of them. And he was so observant; he had her coffee order perfect after hearing it just once.

Holy crap, Lanie was right. Castle like-liked her. But he was such an ass, so self-centered and a child…well, maybe not so much. There was definitely that "9-year-old on a sugar rush" quality to him, but the way he'd barged into her apartment with no thought to his own safety and wrapped her in his coat, his arms encircling her, protecting her…there was no selfishness there.

Not to mention, his coat had smelled like him and she'd hated to let it go.

Kate sighed and shifted again, to her side. Well, shit. Now she definitely wasn't going to fall asleep, even if she was lying on the most comfortable mattress she'd ever been on. She didn't want to be alone tonight. She'd felt safest in his arms, so…was she crazy? Well, it was worth a shot.

She quietly padded down the stairs, pausing a few times to make sure Alexis hadn't woken. This is dumb, she thought multiple times; still, her feet moved against her brain's will. When she stepped into the living room, though, she was met with a surprise: Castle wasn't in his room. On the contrary, he was in his office, a single lamp casting a dim light across his features. She approached slowly, watching him for a few moments, then finally knocked on the doorframe.

Castle started at the noise. He often wrote late into the night, but tonight he was lost in his thoughts. He saw Beckett standing there in her oversized shirt and leggings, silhouetted by the light. "Hey," he said quietly, knowing how his voice could carry upstairs if he wasn't careful.

Beckett gave him a small smile. "Hi. I guess you can't sleep either?"

Castle looked at the clock. 3:30am. Damn. "No, I tried, kept tossing and turning. Are you okay? Do you need something?"

"No. I don't—I mean—" Kate shook her head, trying to shake the tears that had suddenly formed in her eyes. "I just keep replaying the last couple days over in my mind. You know, what could I have done different, stuff like that." How he had looked sleeping on her couch, so peaceful. How she had kept opening her door to look at him and almost went to him for comfort. How she forced herself back into her bedroom.

"Me too." They locked eyes for a few moments before he spoke again. "Hot chocolate?"

This got a smile from Beckett, the first real one he'd seen since this case started. "That would be great."

A few minutes later, they were curled up on opposite sides of the couch, sipping silently in the near-darkness. Kate felt her head start to droop, heard a "Whoa, careful," and felt a hand touch hers as he took her mug away. She opened her eyes long enough to see Castle get a blanket and lay it over her. She saw him walk away, presumably going back to his office or bedroom. "Rick?"

Castle stopped and turned at her voice. "Yeah?" He saw her tuck her hair behind her ear, a habit she'd adapted when she was trying to find the right words. He moved closer. "What is it?"

Kate felt her cheeks flush. "This is going to sound silly—"

"Never."

"Will you stay out here? I just—I don't want to be alone. Not tonight."

Castle didn't hesitate. The look in her eyes, sad and terrified and pleading, all in one, that was lethal. And the way she'd said his first name, she sounded so innocent, childlike. He grabbed a second blanket and sat back down, letting her settle into his side, draping both blankets around them. He allowed himself to place a light kiss on the top of her head. "When your apartment blew, I was scared. I thought I hadn't warned you in time. So when I saw you—"

"I know," Kate muttered. This time she couldn't stop the tears from falling. "Thank you for being there. I know most of the time I act like I don't want you around, and sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not. I'm just sorry I put you in danger."

Rick stayed silent. His muse – no, his friend – hadn't opened up to him in a long time, not since before he'd looked at her mother's case, and he wasn't about to give her a reason to stop.

"I told you how my dad was after my mom's…you know."

What, was she a mind reader now?

"He was so focused on trying to drink away the pain, that when I needed him the most, he wasn't there. Mom had been my rock, the person I went to with everything. But with her gone, Dad too, essentially, I felt so alone. Even when I poured myself into work, at the end of the day, I went home to an empty apartment. But now—" Kate sniffled. "My single greatest fear, more than anything, is that I will die alone, in some alley, like my mom. I'm always alone. I don't want to be tonight."

Castle swallowed around the lump in his throat. He waited a few moments before saying anything, to make sure she was done. "Kate," he said quietly, cupping her chin and lifting her face to look at his. "You are not alone. And as long as I'm around, that will never happen."

Kate leaned up and kissed his cheek, a soft, tender kiss that she poured all of her gratitude into. All she could manage to say was a simple, "Thank you." As she settled back into his side, she was vaguely aware of him laying them down, her on top of him. His arms tightened and she breathed deeply, almost a sigh of contentment. "Thanks for being here, Rick."

Castle smiled. "Always."