Title: Eternally Missed

Category: TV Shows » Once Upon A Time
Author: Alwaysbringback-up
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T (for language)
Genre: Suspense/General

Prologue

Pairing: SwanQueen

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the OUAT universe. All characters belong to the show's creators. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

Emma hears the bell ring overhead as she pushes her way into Granny's diner. With another glance at her watch, she lets out an internal groan. She's fifteen minutes late for a meeting with Regina and her kid, and she knows that Regina will likely never let her hear the end of it. Emma looks around the diner, noting its occupants.

It is early morning, and the sun is just high enough in the sky to crest over the treetops. Many people are into their breakfasts already. Emma breathes deeply, greedily taking in the smell of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. It smells heavenly, and Emma's stomach lets out a noise akin to a growl, reminding Emma of her own neglect.

Emma has been up nearly all night patrolling. She reckons that it's the unhappy consequence of drawing the short straw last week. Everyone in the Sheriff's office had gotten to pick their shifts before her, and so naturally, she'd gotten stuck with three midnight patrols. Sure, as the sheriff she could have say... leaned on David to change shifts with her, but she didn't feel right with doing that. After all, David deserves a chance to spend time with Neal and her mother on occasion, too.

'I've really got to get Regina to let me hire another deputy,' Emma thinks, as she fights back a yawn.

Still, she can't help but smile as Henry eagerly waves her over. Emma raises her hand as she trudges over and drops down into the seat across from them.

"Hey, kid," Emma says as she reaches across the table and ruffles his hair.

"Mom!" he exclaims, feigning annoyance, but Emma knows that he secretly loves every minute of it. After all, they have 11 years of hair ruffling to make up for.

"You're late," Regina says, cutting their moment short. "Can't you ever just be on time?"

"Sorry," Emma says sheepishly as she forces herself to look away, "Something came up."

"I'm sure it did," Regina replies with a slight eye roll, as if she doesn't quite buy Emma's excuse.

"So, what's up?" Emma asks Henry, hoping he'll be able to diffuse the sudden tension, by redirecting Regina's attention. "You said that you found something important in relation to Operation Mongoose?"

"Right!" Henry replies, and Emma can tell that he's nearly bursting with excitement. "You guys aren't going to believe this!"

Emma busies herself with tidying her hair, meticulously running her fingers through her unruly curls as Henry starts digging around in his bag for something. She will never admit this, but she's embarrassed by her haphazard appearance. Because of a last minute situation, Emma hasn't even gotten the chance to run home for a shower and a change of clothes.

Regina is tapping her fingers against the tabletop, in an inconstant rhythm. Emma can tell that she's nervous. Regina is clenching her jaw, and is avoiding all eye contact. Emma figures that it's because the brunette is afraid this will all be just another let down. She can only hope that Henry has some good news for once, because even this so called 'Author', should know that Regina deserves a good streak, for once. Regina was no longer the villain she once was, but rather, she had turned her entire life around. And the brunette had done it the hard way.

It'd taken Emma a long time to understand just how much of Regina's life had been full of heartache, both before and after the curse was cast. From Snow's costly mistake and the resulting death of Regina's soulmate Daniel, to Regina's loveless marriage to Leopold, Emma very much understood the woman's pain. In fact, Emma had come to appreciate, just how extraordinary an individual the brunette was.

Emma isn't entirely sure that she could have dealt with as much as the brunette had.

The only reprieve that the brunette had been gotten, had been in the nearly three decades of the curse. Still, it had been just that, a reprieve. It had not been permanent. And from the moment that the curse had broken, Regina had once again been forced to deal with even more heartache. Yet, somehow, the brunette had decided to turn things around. She'd wanted to be better for Henry. She'd wanted to earn her redemption.

For months now, Regina has been making the hard choices, sometimes, even the most painful ones. In some ways, she's gotten her heart broken over and over again. First, she'd had to earn back Henry's love, making all manner of sacrifices to earn back his trust. Then the brunette had been forced to cope with the pain of dealing with her mother, a woman who Regina felt had caused her unfathomable pain from the very day she was born and had a significant hand in Regina becoming the Evil Queen by murdering her first true love. But, who despite causing Regina unbearable irreversible pain, still loved Regina very much. Cora's death had hit Regina hard. It was after Cora's death that Regina was faced with one of the most difficult tests she would ever face. Snow had been responsible for taking Cora's life. As a former villain, it was all too easy for Regina to want vengeance for her death, and yet, somehow Regina found a way to break the cycle, and Snow did not pay for Cora's blood with blood of her own.

The next major obstacle Regina had faced, was that she'd had to travel to Neverland to get back her son. It had been an exhausting, arduous journey, but a successful one. She and Emma had managed to save Henry from Peter Pan. It was in that time that Regina and the blonde, had each gained a lot of insight into eachother's character. The brunette had also been forced to admit that they made a pretty good team. However, Regina couldn't catch a break. Almost immediately after arriving back in Storybrooke, the town had been faced with another threat, Pan's curse. Regina had needed to give up Henry and Emma, the two things she cared about most, in order to stop it. Saying goodbye to them at the town line, had undoubtedly been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do in all of her years. Fortunately, fate couldn't let things lie the way they had. She'd gotten them back.

Emma can't help but think back on her worst transgression. Whether it was intentional or not, doesn't matter, because Emma knows that she had caused Regina even more heartache. For the first time in this world, the brunette had found her true love, the man with the lion tattoo, a man that also goes by the name of Robin Hood, and Emma had unknowingly ruined it.

When Emma been sent back through Zelena's time portal, she'd saved Marion. Marion had been Robin Hood's wife, and she was supposed to have died in the Enchanted forest. Of course, at the time, Emma had no way to fully comprehend the woman's significance or the way in which it would change Regina's life. All Emma saw was a woman who needed saving.

For a period of time, Regina had tried to stay away from Robin, but she ultimately failed when Marion was put under a curse by the Ice Queen. Regina tried her hardest to save Marion, but in order to do so, the brunette was forced to give up Robin forever.

No. Not even the most misfortunate could deny that Regina had been dealt a miserable hand lately.

"Here it is," Henry announces as he pulled a piece of paper out of his bag. "This appeared in my bag some time between last night and this morning." Regina can feel her stomach do a minor flip as she recognizes the paper. It's exactly like the one she'd torn up and left near the town line. But she knows for a fact that it isn't the same one, because she'd also gone back to gather the pieces, and had taped every single one of them back together, into the whole, and it was currently sitting in a drawer in her office.

"Is that what I think it is?" Emma swallows nervously.

"A page from the alternate storybook," Henry says as he starts unfolding it and smoothing over the paper. Regina looks away, suddenly not wanting to see what's on the page. The last time, what she'd seen on the page had given her hope for a happy ending. In fact, it made her think that things between she and Robin would work out, only for it to be crushed when he left with his family. She no longer trusted anything the book had to say.

Emma can't breathe as she looks down at the page, and then back to Henry's expectant face. "Henry…" For once, Emma has no idea what to say. When she'd agreed to get Regina her happy ending, never did she believe that she might be it. Involuntarily, Emma glances back down to study the page, and her fingers involuntarily trace the lines on the paper.

"It's great, right?!" he asks with twinkling eyes.

"I…Well, I… I think that maybe we should look into it further, before we…" Emma stutters nervously. "Umm…jump to conclusions?"

"Oh, what on earth are you babbling on about?" Regina says out of frustration. "Let me see that!" Before Emma can put up any sort of protest Regina has snatched the page from Emma's hands. But just as soon as Regina's eyes land on the page, Regina drops it, as if burned. Because she'll be damned if it isn't a drawing of her and Emma locking lips, while Emma's wearing that hideous red jacket of hers, no less.

She doesn't know if it's the shock, or something else, but suddenly Regina is laughing so hard that she can't breathe. Emma's brows furrow as Regina's laugh fills Granny's diner.

"I…you…I don't know who on earth you paid to draw this," Regina manages between laughing fits, "But this is really something. I must say, Henry, you got me. This is a hilarious April fool's prank." Emma feels a surge of hurt, as Regina continues laughing. She can practically feel all of the eyes in the room on her now, as Regina's harsh laughter fills Granny's diner.

Emma looks around, at first meeting the concerned gaze of Ruby, and the diner's namesake, but then eventually all of the diner's other occupants. Emma tries to project an outward calmness, but knows almost immediately that Ruby must see through it. She can practically hear Ruby's questions. as she meets the redhead's gaze a second time. Emma forces herself to break eye contact, and looks back to the table again. She swallows over the lump in her throat, and closes her eyes, as Regina's laughter finally starts to fade.

Emma glances at the page again, wanting to comprehend.

What about this situation is so hilarious? Surely there must be something she's missing, because Regina seems to find it utterly hilarious. But Emma just doesn't get it. What about the idea of her and Emma is so ridiculous? Because the fact is, the second Emma had lain eyes on that drawing of the two of them, a whole lot of things started making sense.

Emma has to suppress her sudden urge to pull the photo away from Regina.

But it's a difficult struggle.

Surely, if the brunette can't appreciate the importance of the piece of paper, then the mayor doesn't really deserve to have it in her possession.

'I'll take better care of it than she will,' Emma thinks bitterly, before shaking her head. 'God! Get over yourself, Swan,' Emma has to tell herself, 'it's just a stupid piece of paper!' Emma's not entirely aware of it, but Ruby and Henry catch the subsequent growl that escapes her throat.

Emma does, however, catch sight of Henry's sympathetic expression. She can actually see his hand flex as he struggles against his desire to reach out and comfort her.

At least she's aware enough of his intentions to realize that she needs to get ahold of herself, and her emotions. If she's making Henry uncomfortable, then she really needs to calm down.

"Mom," Henry looks troubled, as he looks to Regina's face. "It's... It's not a prank. In fact, I'm being completely serious. This is real. It really showed up in my bag last night." Regina's laugh subsides a little at this. "I didn't pay anyone to do this. I wouldn't."

As Regina looks to Henry, then to Emma, and back to Henry, Emma shifts uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact with the large brown eyes of her former nemesis. Now, with an accompanying surge of pain, Emma is forced to admit that she genuinely considers Regina to be a close friend...perhaps even more. Maybe that's why this hurts so much...

Emma suddenly feels a little ashamed as she becomes aware of the stance she's taken in her seat. She hadn't realized it initially, but over the course of Regina's boisterous laughter, Emma had assumed a rather threatening posture. She realizes now that she was doing more than just fighting the urge to take back the picture. She was fighting the urge to throttle the brunette sitting across the table.

Emma forces herself to let out a deep breath as she rolls her shoulders, trying to loosen up the muscles in them. Emma's eyes skim around the room, looking everywhere but in front of her. She can't bear to look at Regina, she just can't. Still, eventually, Emma runs out of things to hold her attention, and she makes the mistake of looking forwards.

"Then it was you, then," the accusation flies and hits Emma square in the stomach. It is spoken softly, almost as if Regina is afraid to admit that the drawing is legitimate.

Emma doesn't trust herself to speak, and so she just shakes her head.

"But surely whoever is behind this is having a good laugh," Regina says in argument, "As if I could stand being with the Sheriff for five minutes, let alone have any sort of an ongoing relationship with her." At this, Emma's hands reflexively clasp the edge of the table. She suddenly feels that desire again. She wants…no needs…to hit something. "You know…it's a miracle the pirate hasn't become suicidal. I'm pretty sure that if I had to endure a relationship with you, I'd want to hang myself…" Emma swallows thickly as her eyes and throat start to burn. She feels hot tears begin to build in her eyes, but knows that she cannot cry. She starts pleading with the powers that be for her to hold it together. The last thing she wants to do is let Regina know just how much her words hurt.

"Mom!" Henry bursts out angrily, just as Emma's phone buzzes in her pocket. "Why on earth would you say that?"

"Henry," Emma says as she reaches a hand out to him and brushes his forearm. "It's fine."

"No it's not," Henry, argues, "She went too far!" Emma can't hold back the sigh as her phone buzzes in her pocket again. She's almost hoping that it's important enough to take her away from this torture, and pulls it out of her pocket. Sure enough, when she glances at the display, she finds that David has texted her, claiming that something urgent has come up that needs her immediate attention.

"Well, this was fun," Emma says flatly, without looking at Henry or Regina, "But I've got to go. Duty calls." As she's sliding out of the booth, she catches sight of the crushed expression on Henry's face, and feels guilty. "I'm sorry, kid. I promise that we can talk more tonight."

"Sure, Mom," Henry tries to force a smile. "Good luck with work." When Regina doesn't even get a polite goodbye, she realizes that perhaps she really did go too far.

"Emma!" Emma is halfway across the room, when she feels someone latch onto her arm. "Emma, wait!" Regina's voice is apologetic. "Henry is right. I owe you an apology… I went too far." Emma just shakes her head, and attempts to shake off Regina's hold. She takes a step, but realizes that she was unsuccessful when she pulls Regina with her.

"Emma, wait," Regina breathes. "I...I'm sorry, okay?" Emma's jaw clenches in reply. "I'm sorry," Regina says softly, almost sadly. "I didn't mean it." Emma feels Regina's hand squeeze her arm. "Please say something..."

"I have to go," Emma says flatly.

"Emma..."

"I said let me go, Regina!" Emma hisses, much more loudly than she originally intended.

"Not until I know for sure that you heard me," Regina says stubbornly, "when I said that I didn't mean it."

"But you did," Emma replies with an edge to her voice. "It's my super power, remember? I can tell when people are lying, and you? You weren't lying." Regina opens her mouth to reply, but she's afraid that anything she says at this point will dig her in deeper.

"You know...I'm not sure which is worse," Emma says, "That you meant it, or that you know that what you said to me just a minute ago was so horrible that you felt that you had to lie to me just to make yourself feel just a little bit better about yourself." Emma feels a little gratification for the first time since all of this began. Because she knows that she's right.

Regina is speechless.

"I just want you to know that I get it. I do," Emma whispers, her eyes burning with unshed tears, "After all, how could someone like you ever want to be with someone like me?"

"Emma, that's really not what I meant to insin…" Regina's tone falters, as she realizes the harm she's done with only her words.

"Yeah," Emma shakes her head, her eyes speaking volumes to her disappointment. "Yeah you did." Emma pulls away.

"Mom," Henry's voice is so soft as he stands up. He walks over, and inserts himself between her and Emma. "I think you should let her go."

Regina is forced to accept this suggestion, as she feels everyone in the diner openly judging her behavior. Most aren't even trying to hide their current dislike of her. Ruby, for one, is practically glaring daggers at her.

"I really am sorry," Regina says as she lets her hand fall away.

"Look, just forget about it. I'll see you around, Regina. Have fun with the kid." And then she's gone.

Hours later, when she's staring at the picture on the storybook page, Regina feels something stir inside her. Something that seemed so preposterous only a few hours ago, no longer seems so much so. If she is being honest, she's felt an attraction for the blonde from their very first meeting. Emma's also always been a formidable opponent, and the person to bring some much-needed excitement back into her life. They've been on opposing sides, and on the same side. And Regina is starting to believe that she doesn't care what happens in the future so long as she has Emma to fight by her side. Part of her wants to believe that she feels that way simply because she knows Emma's magical capability is strong, but she knows that it's not the only reason.

Regina lets out a sigh, as she drops the paper onto the top of her desk, and picks up her phone. She pulls up Emma's name in her contacts and taps the call button. As the phone rings, she can't stop picturing the look on Emma's face after what she'd said. The blonde had looked hurt, more hurt than the brunette could ever remember.

Regina was used to having Emma as a regular verbal sparring partner. From day one, Emma had been a thorn in Regina's side, merely because she was the first one who was brave enough to stand up for herself. She didn't let Regina walk all over her. Instead, she threw down the gauntlet. Hell, Emma was notoriously good at absorbing terrible insults, and throwing them right back at her. It used to be something that drove Regina crazy. In fact, Regina used to fantasize about making good on her threats. But in time, it became one of the things that Regina has always liked about their relationship. Because Emma never held her tongue, in Regina's presence. In fact, Regina always knew what the blonde thought of her.

Since arriving home after work today, however, Regina hasn't been able to stop thinking about where this morning went wrong.

What had gone wrong? Because normally, instead of allowing herself to feel that sort of hurt, Emma would toss in her own low blows. But this time, Emma had merely taken it, and hadn't pushed back.

"Why?" Regina was forced to ask aloud. "Why didn't she fight back?"

But she thinks that she already knows the answer to that question. Because this time, something had been different. Regina realizes that maybe it's because this time, what she had said to Emma had been unwarranted and totally uncalled for.

Normally, there was some sort of catalyst to their fights. There was frequently some sort of tipping point. Often, there was something that happened to set one of them off. And sometimes, they were just both hankering for a fight.

However, this time, what she'd said to Emma had been horrible and uncalled for. She hadn't been angry with the blonde at all. In fact, her and Emma had been doing really well lately. Things between she and Emma were finally on the up and up. That is...until Regina had to go and open her big mouth.

The brunette knows that she won't be able to get Emma's expression of hurt out of her head until she fixes it.

Regina is mentally preparing to leave Emma a message when she hears an unexpected tri-tone message.

'We're sorry, but the call cannot be completed as dialed. The number that you are trying to reach has been disconnected.'

"What on earth…" Regina's gruff tone hisses in disbelief as she listens to the message.

Regina hangs up the phone abruptly, and looks at the display, checking the numbers to make sure that she hasn't mis-dialed or accidentally called one of her old contacts. Then she scrolls through the contacts again, and hits the call button, as Emma's name becomes highlighted.

She gets the same infuriating tri-tone message.

"She wouldn't," Regina tries to tell herself, but she knows that that is not true. Because the Emma Swan she used to know would. She just never expected that the blonde might revert back to that old self. After all, how could she do something like this to Henry? Again…

Regina hangs up, her breathing growing rapid as she dials Henry's number.

"Hello?" she hears him answer.

"Henry?" Regina says as calmly as she can manage, "I've been trying to call Emma, but she's not answering. Is she around?"

"No…I…" Henry sounds upset, "I was just about to call you. She never came home after work. I talked to David. He says that he can't get through either. She...She left a resignation note on her desk at the Sheriff's office, Mom." Regina closes her eyes, feeling suddenly quite exhausted, and then angry as she hears Henry whisper, "What if something's happened? What if she's hurt?"

"I'm sure she's fine, Henry," Regina lies through her teeth, but she instantly hates herself for it. And, god, she wants to kill Emma for making Henry even think of it.

"Are you at home?" Regina asks.

"No, I'm at Mary Margaret's and David's," Henry replies. "They said I could stay with them until Mom turns up."

"You're welcome to stay here, Henry," Regina says with as much warmth as she can muster.

"I know," he replies.

"Alright," Regina sighs, "Well, I'm going to stop by the apartment and check things out. I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

"Okay, mom," Henry breathes softly, "Thank you."

With a flick of her wrist, and a puff of smoke, Regina is standing in front of Emma's door. She forces herself to take a deep, calming breath before she lifts that same hand to knock on Emma's door. When her knocks go unanswered, Regina disengages the lock with another wave of her hand, and opens the door.

"Emma?" Regina calls out. "Emma, are you home? Henry's worried about you. I thought I'd come by and check things out." Regina takes a tentative step inside, and reaches over to flick on the light. The apartment is deserted. Regina walks through, looking for any trace of the blonde Sheriff. When she finds half of Emma's closet empty, a bad feeling settles in her stomach. And by the time she finds an envelope addressed to Henry tacked to the fridge, that feeling has multiplied three-fold.

She's pulling a letter addressed to herself off of the face of the fridge, when she hears Henry call out for her.

"In here!" she calls as she unseals the envelope and pulls out a single piece of paper. Surprisingly, very little of it is covered in Emma's handwriting.

I know you probably want to kill me right now, but I'm hoping that in time you'll forgive me. I need some time to sort some things out. Take care of Henry for me.

~Emma

"Mom?" Henry's voice is so quiet, but still manages to startle her. Regina whirls around with the letter still clutched in her hands. "Is that…from Emma?"

"Yes," Regina nods, deciding that Henry deserves her honesty.

"She left, didn't she?" he asks as tears overflow, and streak down his cheeks.

"I'm going to find her, Henry," she promises, "She couldn't have gotten far." Part of her is afraid that Emma has crossed the town line. Surely the blonde knows that if she does, that she'll never be able to return.

Regina sighs as she pulls up to the docks on the east side of the town. Her heavy footfalls thud against the dock as she practically runs towards the Jolly Roger. The blood in her veins is practically boiling.

"HOOK! Emma! Get out here!" she screams harshly. She hears a thud, and a curse. Before she can take another breath to do some more shouting, Hook has appeared. He appears to be heavily intoxicated, as he weaves his way across the deck, his boots thudding heavily on the boards. "Where is she?!" Regina shouts. She takes pleasure as Hook groans and a hand shoots up to his head.

"Bloody hell," he groans, "Must you be so loud?"

"Where is she?" Regina is not amused. "I demand to talk to her. Right now."

"Who in the hell are you rambling on about?" Hook asks.

"Your girlfriend! Who on earth do you think?" Regina snaps. "Now tell her to get her ass out here."

"She's not here," Hook says almost sadly, between hiccups. She watches as he pulls out his trusty flask from his pocket. Before he can uncap it, she's snatched it from his hand. He protests as she sends it sailing into the water.

"What the hell did you bloody do that for?!" he asks angrily. "That was mine!"

"Where is she?" Regina repeats impatiently. "If she's not here… Where is she?"

"I don't know, okay?!" Killian cries in exasperation. "All I know is she's not here!"

"What do you mean, you don't know!" Regina hisses, "She's your girlfriend, for crying out loud."

"She's not…" Hook says quietly, sadly. "We're not together anymore, okay? The lass and I parted ways weeks ago."

"What?" Regina can scarcely believe it.

"We're taking a break or whatever," Hook sighs, "I didn't really want to, but in the end I had no choice. The lass needed time, or so she says." He pauses, trying to decided just how much to tell Regina. "I think she was having a hard time accepting that I lied to her… Of course, she knows that the crocodile had possession of my heart and made me do those things, but it's kind of hard for even me to accept, so I...I don't blame her."

"When?" Regina asks with slight desperation. "When did she tell you this?"

"We broke it off well over two weeks ago," Hook replies. "I agreed to give her some space, and I haven't really heard from her since." Then. "Do you honestly have no idea where she's gone?"

"No," Regina admits. "All I know is that she left me this. I just sort of assumed that she planned on hiding out here. But if she's not here, then I don't know where on earth she could be. I've got to take another look at this. God, I want to kill her."

"Look, I know it's not any of my business, but I can help you find her if you need me to," Hook offers.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Regina murmurs, "Why don't you go lay down before your fall over." With that Regina stomps back to her car.

Why hadn't Emma said anything about her and the pirate breaking up? Regina didn't know that it was even possible, but now she feels even worse than she did before. And now Regina has no choice but to retreat back to her own home and regroup. It looks like she is going to have to use yet another locator spell on something of Emma's in order to locate the blonde and determine just how bad the situation might be.

A/N: So that's it for now. Please review if you have a free minute! The next chapter will offer some explanation as to where on earth it is that Emma has disappeared to. I'll promise that I'll update as soon as I can!

As always, thanks for reading! :)