Broken

"Senju Ai is now the head of her clan. As such, a certain level of decorum must be maintained - even as she learns to rain death on Konoha's enemies. The Elemental Nations will remember the Senju clan was feared with good reason." Continuation of: Cosmic Comedy. WARNINGS: Strong OC, OC-centric, Dark, Gore. Rated M for: Adult situations (limes), language and shinobi business.

Secondary warning: Homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, asexual and transgender characters will be getting significant screen time. If that isn't your cup of tea, please don't read ^_^

Intro

8-8

"Ai-sama?" I don't look up from my work, refusing to stop if I can help it. I make a noise to show I'm listening, but my calligraphy brush continues to dance. Over and over, my brush lashes out –harsh, rhythmic– knowing each motion it is meant to make without question. "It's time."

I trudge on. "There." I say, once I'm satisfied with my work. Mindful of my surroundings –especially my mofuku kimono– I carefully wash out my brush and make sure to reshape it once all the red ink is out. Once I feel everything is absolutely perfect, I turn to the door, and the kunoichi now before me.

Her long, jet black hair is tied back with a decorative comb. Her eyes are downcast, to avoid meeting my gaze. Her face is oval-shaped, her features delicate, her lips small and pouty. The black kimono she wears neither hugs her frame, nor hangs loosely, and her ecru obi offers the same respect. Hands are folded together in front of her and her feet and kept side by side, as if she's ready to bow to me at any moment.

"Subservience ill suits you, Choco." I tell her plainly.

"Ai-sama has far too much to worry about today, as is." She reminds me. Ah, the funeral. All of Konoha will be present at Ka-san's funeral, as is the custom given her station. No doubt she and the others will do their best to not give any clan so much of a whiff of ill conduct to try to ease my burden that way.

"Ai-sama?" Comes another. Her hair is light brown, I suppose, tucked back into a bun with a single pluck hanging over her right eye. Her face is far more angular, her features less enticing. She's the type of girl most would write off as 'plain'. She, too, is wearing a black kimono with an ecru obi, but her bust is somewhat harder to ignore in it, as are her hips. "..." She's less articulate than Choco, but her eyes are far more expressive; she worries I'm not ready to face the public.

"I'm fine, Hibari. Come, we mustn't be late." She noises her agreement, though I notice her hesitance none the less. Still, both she and Choco are quick to fall in step behind me as I start making my way to the sitting room. My thoughts threaten to race out of my control, going over every single detail I need to remember. Kaka... Hokage-sama had requested I say a few words to honour not just Senju Tsunade, as she deserves, but also the seventy other shinobi that lost their lives in Konoha's hour of need. I am... unsure what I will say.

Two shinobi lie in wait as I make my way down the hall, one on the right of the hallway, the other on the left. The one on the left is the taller of the two. His black hair is combed back, still somehow managing to appear unruly. His face is wide, rugged almost, with some baby fat he somehow held onto over the years – his taut facial muscles belie his emotions. Even though his eyes appear perpetually closed, I can tell he's watching me keenly. His kimono is also black, but it's hard to miss the bulging muscles beneath. He somehow reminds me of a stone wall. He is wearing an ecru haori jacket to show he's going out, though, like us, is still barefoot.

The shorter of the pair has his sandy brown hair combed to one side, also somehow managing to look wild and unruly none the less. His face is skinny, angular; he seems perpetually ready to shout something, even now. Especially now. Words of encouragement dance on his tongue, I can tell, but once his beady eyes meet mine, he swallows them. His outfit is identical to his comrade, though he clearly fills it out less – he looks almost stringy in comparison.

I nod to the one on the right. "Kouji." Then to the one on the left. "Daichi." They say nothing in return, choosing simply to fall into step after I walk passed.

On entering the sitting room, I see the rest of the family. One middle-aged woman is fussing over something or other, the sleeves of her kimono swishing with each motion. Her black hair is kept loose – something resembling a grown out bob-cut, I suppose. The current centre of her attention –a young girl, maybe ten years old, with silver hair and green eyes– seems to be fussing about how her obi is too tight. "Ikue, if you don't stop fussing I'll tie it even tighter!"

"Aunty Shizune! I can barely breathe! Can't I just wear my-"

"If you even finish that sentence, I'll feed you nothing but cabbage and brussel sprouts for a week!"

"Bu-" Whatever protests Ikue had come up with dies the moment her eyes lands on me. She wants to say something, craves to say it, but the words won't come. Shizune-nee uses the distraction to her advantage and ties the girl's obi properly once and for all; though she looks displeased, not a word of complaint follows.

"Ai-sama, are..." My eyes follow the little voice, finding a five year old with mousey brown hair and wide, teary, sky blue eyes. Am I okay? I smile as bright as I can, but I'm not too surprised when she hides her little face behind her mother's leg. Looking up, I see said mother's warm green eyes and gentle smile awaiting me. Her long brown hair is kept in a sloppy ponytail just over her right shoulder. Her simple komon kimono tells me that she drew the shortest straw, so she'll be the one to stay home with her daughter – as if she'd have it any other way.

"Still refusing to let others mind her, Inaho?" She blushes at my words, but makes no attempt to refute them. I smile a little, grateful for the little things to outshine the gloom, and turn to the little girl again. "I'm fine, Kimiko-chan. Just a little tired is all." Kimiko looks like she wants to say something. I can see the thought pass through her eyes; she too swallows it.

"Ai-sama, you are not fine." I sigh, knowing that only one person in this house would have the gall to contradict me so openly, situation be damned. As luck would have it, I turn to see the brown haired man, complete with stubble and intense beady eyes; let's not forget his habit of using eyeliner. His facial features are soft, almost effeminate, though he has the body of a –somewhat wiry– man. Honestly, if he were to wear padded bras and shave, I'd never guess him to be anything but a woman.

Surprise, surprise, next to him is a much shorter woman – the top of her head reaches more or less his solar plexus. She too has brown hair, of almost the exact same shade as her husband, but hers cascades down to the small of her back. He wears the same outfit as the guys, while she mirrors the girls. "Natori!" She sounds distressed.

"It's alright Kohada. So long as he minds his beak in public." I smirk at the barb. Natori still works at the aviary, so teasing him about his birds is always a hoot. He sputters and everyone giggles nervously; I get the impression that they are unsure if they are allowed to or not. I sigh mutely, wondering when this day will finally end.

"Ai-sama." Shizune-nee catches everyone's attention. "It's time. You mustn't be late." I don't sigh this time, though I'm tempted to. Instead, I nod and start making my way to the front door, eight sets of footsteps following wordlessly.

Near the door that will open into the front room, I pass a mirror, catching the ghostly reflection from the corner of my eye. No wonder everyone thinks I am not fine; I don't look even remotely fine. My long black hair falls freely, as I refuse to wear anything decorative to hold it in place. My brown eyes are puffy –like I've been crying all day– and the bags under them are not helping in the least. Also of note, I am the only one wearing all black, and the only one not wearing the Senju clan symbol anywhere on my person.

Bittersweet. It is political blasphemy, for the Senju clan head to not wear our symbol. Yet, I know it will show that I mourn not as clan head, but as the grieving daughter. Why can I not bring myself to care how people will interpret my every action? I once again force myself to not sigh, as the door before me slides open, seemingly of its own accord.

"Ai." Our eyes meet; those gorgeous, golden eyes of his. He left his silver hair unbraided, having combed it straight back – I would never have guessed his hair was long enough to reach passed his neckline. His face holds no emotion, his eyes glow with warmth, but his all black kimono reminds me of the sombreness of the situation.

"Jei." My entire being threatens to convulse from emotions within me. Odd, the medication has been doing a fairly decent job of dulling the worst of it. Behind Jei are two others. One could pass for Jei's twin, other than that he is less muscular and a head taller. The other has pale skin, strawberry blonde hair kept short –boy styled short– and is... big boned. She's even wearing a men's kimono, which does nothing to hide her B-cup breasts. "Pou. Raiko."

"Ai-sama." They intone in stereo. They then make a showing of helping Jei with donning his tabi (socks), geta (traditional wooden shoes) and haori (kimono 'jacket') – all of which he probably had to take off when he arrived just for this. I sigh mutely once again, knowing that we're all going to have to adhere to Senju clan tradition and play our parts in a very elaborate script. I do not look forward to it.

8-8

Once everyone is suited up, we make our way outside. More faces await us, but I'm already too tired to pay anyone much mind. Choco and Hibari make sure to cause just enough of a scene to give Jei the right to take charge and tell me which wheelchair I'm to sit in – apparently everyone had a wheelchair sealed and ready, because no one wanted to bring it up and everyone wanted me to 'take it easy'. I don't bother holding back the sigh this time.

"Ai, sit. I'll push." Jei informs me. Kouji and Daichi take the lead, escorting us to where we need to be. Choco and Hibari remain at my side. We might have taken three, perhaps four, strides before we encounter two groups. Two distinct groups. In one is an aloof ass, duck styled hair, and shinobi mourning uniform, alongside a pink-haired kunoichi with a proper mofuku kimono holding her four month old daughter – Sasuke, Sakura and Mikoto, the Uchiha.

The other group is all silver haired, bronze skinned shinobi from Kumo, much like Jei. A three year old little girl named Sango, her six year old sister Michiko, their mother, Itsuko –the only pale skinned one of the group– father, Bii, and the civilian looking Himono.

"Nursing mothers should not attend a wake." I state plainly. Sakura looks like she wants to protest, but I cut her off. Everyone looks around uncomfortably. Most are likely thinking how out of character I am at present, some are likely wondering how upset Sakura will be with me for being right at the wrong time. After all, Shizune, Sakura and I are pretty much universally considered Ka-san's daughters. "If you attend the wake of a medic as renowned as Senju Tsunade, only to ignore that she would be furious to find out what you're doing, then you are doing it wrong."

"Good luck convincing her." Sasuke mutters. I snort, understanding him all too well. Still, it would be unseemly to not say that which Ka-san would say in my shoes.

"Inaho is the one staying behind, and she'll already have her hands full with Kimiko, Sango and Michiko. Would your conscious allow you to let her mind your daughter as well?" I drone, trying to ignore the hurt and betrayed look on Sakura's face.

"Senju-sama, if it would help, I'll stay behind as well." Himono offers. Tears well up in Sakura's eyes almost immediately, though I cannot say if it's from heartache or gratitude.

"Thank you, Himono. Please, take good care of Mikoto for me." Sakura bows her head in gratitude as she carefully offers the sleeping Mikoto. I sigh mutely, wondering what I should feel about this. On the one hand, I can understand Sakura's need to attend the wake. On the other, Ka-san really will have a fit when she sees us again on the other side. I guess I can blame it on the medication.

"Sakura-chan! You know Baa-chan isn't going to be happy we let a nursing mother attend a wake, right?" I can't help but smirk as Jei manoeuvres us so I can see the impending Uzumaki clan. Three redheads –Karin, Tami and Fuki– flank the blond and tactless Naruto.

"Naruto! Tsunade-sama was like a mother to me!" Sakura is near tears once again. "I could never live with myself if I didn't attend!"

"I'm not stopping you. I'm just letting you know that Baa-chan will be totally scary and unreasonable because of this." I don't even bother following the conversation after that; too bothersome. I'm briefly tempted to lean my head against Jei's hand, or anything really, but that would be bad posture and unacceptable from a clan head.

"When did she last take her medicine?" Jei asks, though I don't know of whom. Something is placed in my hand as I'm offered a glass of water. How did they manage that? I don't see a kitchen sink anywhere. "Ai, drink. Now." I sigh, downing the tiny pill and half of the glass of water in one go.

8-8

En route we encounter even more people. Gaara of the Desert and his siblings. Tekuno and Hayama, who refuses the wheelchair he's offered. Tenzo, Gekkou Hayate and Uzuki Yuugao. Maito Gai and Rock Lee. The Hyuugas; Hinata, Hanabi, Neji and Kou. Even Inuzuka Kiba, who is mostly complaining that his cousin's –who apparently died during the invasion– canine partner died from mourning a day or two earlier. I think he was mostly complaining because Konoha wouldn't count the ninken's death in the Konoha Shinobi KIA count for the invasion. Each group we encounter joins us in our procession. I sigh mutely each time, wondering why I feel so useless.

It isn't until we make it to The Hokage Tower Balcony that I truly feel utterly superfluous. As per tradition, all shinobi are on the Balcony while the civilians occupy the square below. Thousands of people turn out for this. Thousands. I... don't even know what I should feel, let alone if I actually do feel it.

Jei asks if I feel up for standing alongside my colleagues, but no one seems too surprised that I don't answer him. A moment later, someone motions for Jei to follow them. I'm pushed along, eventually finding myself on the podium where the Sixth Hokage, Hatake Kakashi, stands waiting. He's wearing his kage robes, as the situation demands, but somehow I feel a twang of resentment that anyone but Ka-san would wear them. His right eye bores into –briefly, but long enough to add meaning to the subtle nod that follows– before he turns to gaze out at the crowds.

In an instant, all of Konoha falls silent. The memorial service has now officially begun. "Citizens of Konoha!" Kakashi's voice booms in the silence. "Though I am grateful we lost so few of our own, I grieve no less for our fallen comrades! Our brothers and sisters! Our sons and daughters! I ask that we have a moment of silence for those we've lost!"

Kakashi isn't really one for words; he's more a man of action. He probably asked me to speak mostly to make him appear more a minimalist, rather than a stoic asshole. Still, I bow my head and say a silent prayer that Ka-san watch over us. "Senju-sama, if you would?" Kakashi says, motioning for me come forward.

Jei helps me to stand, but allows me to walk unaided. I walk slowly, gracefully, doing all I can to think of something profound to say – or just something to say, really. Still drawing a blank. What would Ka-san say? What would she want me to say? The crowd grows excited, as many of them are now noticing that I will say a few words – some are wondering aloud why Kakashi said nothing about it.

"I could say many things, Konoha!" They all quiet down, their curiosity plain as daylight to me. "I could sympathise with those who've lost a loved one! I could remind us all of what we've lost! I could echo the Inuzuka's desire that their fallen ninken be counted as a fallen shinobi!" There's a noticeable howl as the Inuzukas all show their mourning and camaraderie.

"I won't! Though not because those points are less valid!" I pause, suddenly picturing Ka-san with a proud smile on her face. Why I choose to picture her smiling right now is a mystery, even to me. "Instead I will offer you the words of our beloved would want us all to remember! The words they can no longer say for themselves! I will tell you, what Ka-san would have told me!"

"It's hard, knowing that I can no longer comfort you! I know people will tell you to be proud! That I died-" I don't wipe away the tear that falls, "protecting the village! I also know that pride will not console you!" I take a long moment to collect myself, wondering why Kakashi would dare have me speak when everyone knows I'm an emotional wreck.

"So instead of being proud of me, I'll ask you to love me! Love me, like I've loved you! Fight for me, like I've been fighting for you! Remember that I would give anything to keep you safe! This time, it meant giving my life!" Tears are flowing freely now, but somehow I can't make myself stop. I feel Kakashi's hand on my shoulder, trying to offer what support he can. "Please remember that I love you enough to offer my life, so that you may live on! Even though you're upset with me right now, I'll ask you to honour that! Love me enough to live! Love me enough to grow strong! And love Konoha enough to fight for her as I fought for you!"

Unable to hold it back any longer, I hide my face in Kakashi's robes and every tear that stubbornly refused to be shed since hearing about Ka-san's death... every single tear... all of it comes out at once.

8-8

End Intro

8-8

A/N: Updated, 8th of October, 2015.