Needless to say Amy did not get much sleep after Jake left. She lay in bed, staring at her dark ceiling and trying to control her racing thoughts.

The important thing was to not freak out. Mild panic fine; full-on breakdown not so much.

Jake had kissed her goodnight. Well… okay, so that had happened. He almost certainly hadn't done it on purpose. Okay, yes, he meant to kiss her, but he probably didn't mean it to mean anything… it had just been a... reflex of sorts. They'd fallen asleep in each other's arms after a decidedly coupley evening together, and so it had just been a natural impulse to kiss her before he'd left.

Okay, so don't panic about the kiss.

Panic about the fact that they'd spent a coupley evening together and fallen asleep in each other's arms.

Yeah. That was the real problem.

It hadn't been a real date, but the fact remained that they'd had dinner together, alone, in a nice restaurant. There'd been a candle on their table. They'd shared a dessert (tiramisu if you want to know - and it wasn't a romantic thing, okay, they just both really liked tiramisu and weren't sure they could have a whole one each. Shut up.).

And then after their not-date they'd gone back to Amy's to have sex. God, if only they'd actually done that. If only Jake had pushed her against the door as it was closing and kissed her senseless like he'd done so many times before.

But not for a while.

Amy groaned and flung her arm across her eyes, trying to shut out the unwelcome thought. But it was true - it had been a while since that had happened, since they'd torn each other's clothes off the second they got inside... nowadays there was always takeout and TV and talking and even, one evening, Amy lecturing Jake on the importance of organising his receipts, and though the sex was a big part of their... god, their relationship... and though it was really good, it wasn't the only part of it. It had turned into so much more.

It was like they were... like they were dating. No, it was even worse than that - it was like they'd been dating for so long that they'd already got to that comfortable, eating takeout every night and hanging out in front of the TV stage of a relationship. And it had happened without Amy even realising.

She was the worst detective ever.

Had Jake noticed? And if he had, why hadn't he said anything? Did he… maybe he hadn't said anything because he… maybe he wanted them to be dating. Maybe he'd changed his mind.

Had she?

Amy took a deep breath and forced herself to think about seriously, frowning up at the ceiling. She liked Jake. She liked hanging out with Jake, she liked spending her evenings with him, she liked… you know, spending evenings with him. It was fun, it was easy, it was comfortable… but maybe that was because they weren't dating. Amy was sure that as soon as they put a label on it, as soon as they told other people, as soon as it became official… Amy shuddered. Everything would change. There would be too much pressure, and if they broke up…

No, it was exactly what she'd been trying to avoid. Amy knew what the smart thing to do was - she'd better end it before it went any further.

She screwed her eyes up tight and swallowed. Honestly, she wasn't sure she should. Surely just ending things out of the blue would create all kinds of awkwardness. And more than that, she wasn't sure she could - the sad thing was that she was just too… she was in too deep.

So the first thing she had to do was dig herself out of it a bit. She needed to take a step back, take them both back to how things were when they first started up, when their arrangement really was about keeping things casual and only sleeping together when they needed to. They needed to stop spending practically every night together, needed to stop with the take out and the vegging on the couch together and generally acting like a couple. And then, once that was done she could make a more… informed decision.

Okay. Fine. Decision made. Time to sleep.

(It took a couple more hours to get to sleep.)

XXX

Jake cornered Amy in the break room the very next morning.

"So… I guess you want to cash in on those three I owe you tonight?" He asked her, his lips twisting into a confident smirk and making Amy blush. She blinked and looked away quickly.

"I… oh, you know, that's fine," she stammered, focusing all her attention on the coffee machine.

"That's fine?" Jake said incredulously.

Amy nodded, not looking at him. "Yeah, um, I'm just really tired," she said. "I just want an early night tonight, and I need to do some laundry and… yeah."

There was a pause, and then Amy felt Jake shift his weight. "Okay, sure, yeah," he said. "No problem."

Amy risked a glance at Jake and was relieved to see that he looked perfectly relaxed. He smirked again when he caught her eye, but it was more teasing than flirty. "Laundry's probably a good idea - you're starting to smell."

"Shut up," said Amy immediately, knocking his arm with her shoulder.

Jake grinned and left the break room, and Amy turned back to making her coffee.

Step one complete.

XXX

Amy actually did do some laundry that night; she hadn't been lying about that needing to happen, and it was good that Jake wasn't there. He'd only get in the way. She went to bed early and slept well, and so was feeling pretty good about her decision to step back by the next morning. In fact, she felt so good about it that she told Jake she was going to visit her parents for the weekend, leaving that evening and not getting back until late on Sunday. The flash of disappointment on Jake's face was enough to convince Amy that she was doing the right thing for them both - they both needed the space.

She did go to her parents' house, but only on the Saturday, and she came back fairly early on Sunday morning, because twenty-four hours was about her limit for dealing with her mom without at least four of her brothers there as a buffer. It was the first weekend day in a few weeks that she hadn't been working or hanging out with Jake, and it was fine. Amy had plenty of chores to do now that she had a chance, and she was perfectly content to clean and dust and organise without Jake there to distract her with his jokes and laughter and big mouth and big hands and…

Okay, so she was feeling a little nuts. It had, after all, been five days since they'd had sex, and that was the longest they'd gone in months. Still, she couldn't give in. Not yet anyway. It would be fine to arrange to meet up in a day or two, but for now this was a good thing - it was proving to herself that she could do without seeing Jake all the time, and could reset their arrangement back to what it should be, and stop blurring the lines.

She needed to stop blurring the lines.

So, instead of giving in and texting Jake to say she was home earlier than expected, Amy ordered her favourite Chinese takeout and settled in to watch some Netflix. Alone.

Turned out the Chinese was a mistake because it wasn't until she bit into a pancake roll that she remembered an incident from the week before, when Jake was round and they were eating Chinese together, and he'd given her a challenging smirk before starting to eat a pancake roll in the filthiest, most suggestive way imaginable. Amy, never one to back down from a challenge, had followed suit, and it had ended with the two of them laughing so hard that Amy actually strained a stomach muscle. Jake had pushed her shirt up and kissed his way across her stomach and then up towards her breasts and…

Amy dropped the half-eaten pancake roll back into the takeout container and groaned.

It wasn't half an hour later that her phone buzzed with a Snapchat from Jake. He sent her stupid photos all the time, so it wasn't a weird thing or anything, but still, Amy had to brace herself before opening it. It was a selfie of Jake in a Chinese deli near his apartment that did a takeout deal where you stuffed as much food into a container as you could. He had his eyebrows raised in a suggestive smirk and in the background of the photo was a pile of pancake rolls.

Amy stared at the photo until the timer ran out, and then she dropped her phone and covered her face with a cushion. It was just a coincidence, obviously - they both loved Chinese, and they both loved pancake rolls, and so it didn't like, mean anything… but all Amy could think about was replying to Jake with a picture of herself eating her own pancake roll. A week ago she wouldn't have hesitated, she would have sent the picture immediately and Jake would have been round within half an hour.

But that was before. Now, Amy kicked her cellphone down to the other end of the couch, and turned on Netflix. Alone.

XXX

Jake was in before Amy the next morning, which was rare, and Amy tried to tell herself that it was surprise at seeing him already at his desk that had her heart racing as soon as she set eyes on him, but it was hard to convince herself of that… especially when she sat down and Jake pinned her with a look that had her hands trembling as she booted up her computer.

He really shouldn't look at her like at work. It wasn't fair.

He blinked and the look was gone, and Amy let out the breath she was holding.

"Morning Santiago," he said. "Good weekend?"

"Fine thanks, you?"

"Ballin'," said Jake airily. "How was your parents' house?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Same as always. I listened to my Mom complain about Joyce from her church group for three hours and my Dad had an actual, honest-to-god slideshow of their vacation photos. With an actual projector."

Jake grinned. "Awesome. What time did you get home? There was that huge pile up on the nine-five, you must have got caught in it."

"No, I was ahead of it," Amy said, before realising that she'd just admitted that she'd got home early and hadn't told him. She froze for a second before forcing herself to relax. Okay, well, fine. That was okay. It wasn't like they'd made plans or anything, or that she'd lied to him. It was fine.

Nevertheless, Amy kept her eyes on her screen throughout the short silence that followed, and then Jake cleared his throat. "Well, that's lucky," he said eventually.

Amy nodded, gave Jake a small smile, and turned to her paperwork.

XXX

Amy needed to put a few things in the evidence lock up in the afternoon, and she knew as soon as she stood up from her desk that Jake was going to follow her. They hadn't had a moment alone yet - the first time she'd got coffee Charles was in the break room too, and the next time Jake had been in the middle of talking a case over with Rosa. They weren't working any cases together that needed going over in the briefing room or necessitated them driving somewhere together, so this would be his chance to ask about coming over this evening.

She was going to say yes- there was no point waiting any longer. She figured five days was long enough to prove to herself that she could do without, and she didn't want things to get awkward between them. Or, rather, she didn't want Jake to pick up on the awkwardness that already existed.

The lock up was dark and deserted, and Amy headed to the narrow shelves at the back of the room to organise her evidence. She'd been in there maybe three minutes when she heard the door open and close, and footsteps approaching.

Amy took a steadying breath and turned to face Jake as he rounded the corner.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Jake cleared his throat and leant his shoulder against the shelf. "So, um, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to meet up tonight," he said.

Amy's eyebrows went up in surprise at his tone - he sounded kind of… well, hesitant, and he wasn't quite meeting her eye. "Um, sure," she said after a moment's silence. "Your place?"

She'd already figured his place would be safer, because her leaving Jake's apartment early would be less awkward than trying to get Jake to leave hers.

Jake nodded. "Okay," he said. He gave her a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and turned to go, leaving Amy staring at the back of his head in complete bewilderment. A second later, though, he turned back round, and her questions about his odd behaviour were answered.

"Was it me? Did I do something?"

Amy's eyes widened. "I-"

"I'm sorry," Jake interrupted her. "I don't mean to make things awkward between us -"

Amy swallowed. "Jake, I-"

"- but it feels like you've been avoiding me, and I just want you to know that I'm sorry about whatever it is I did." Jake paused and gave her a serious look. "And we don't have to meet up tonight if you don't want to."

Jake looked away from Amy again, but seemed to be done talking, and Amy stared at his profile, unsure what to say. This was it - an out. She could say right now that she wasn't sure they should continue with their arrangement and end it. It would be a bit awkward for a while but it was doubtful it would be more awkward than it was before they'd started sleeping together.

It was probably the sensible thing to do… but the bottom line was that Amy just didn't want to. She wanted to keep up their arrangement, she just wanted to make sure it stayed an arrangement, you know?

"I do want to meet up," she said. Jake looked at her then, and she managed a small smile. "Really."

Jake nodded. "Okay." He turned to leave, but still looked so... so un-Jake… and Amy's brain finally caught up with her and she remembered what else he'd said.

She stopped him with a hand on his elbow. "And Jake… you didn't do anything wrong," she said earnestly.

He hadn't, and Amy could feel guilt churning inside her for making him think that he had… she hadn't thought he would realise that she was actively avoiding him… but really she should have since they'd spent basically every night together for weeks and Jake wasn't an idiot. What he was was a guy with lots of repressed issues of abandonment and not being good enough, and Amy bit her lip when she realised that maybe just cutting him out with flimsy excuses for five days hadn't been the best way to play it.

Jake gave her a rueful look. "I crashed your date."

Amy shook her head. "I asked you -"

"No, you asked me to help get you out of it," Jake interrupted, glaring at the shelf behind her. "I should have called or something to give you an excuse, but instead I embarrassed you in front of him and then basically forced you to have dinner with me which I know you didn't want to do and…" He let out a frustrated breath and looked at her properly. "I'm sorry, it was really selfish of me."

Amy had to clear her throat before she could speak. "It was fine," she said weakly. Jake started to roll his eyes, and Amy tightened her grip on his arm. "Honestly, I didn't mind," she said, "not really."

And it was true. She couldn't care less that Jake had crashed her date, or made her look bad in front of that complete asshole Leo. She'd had fun with Jake… and that was the actual problem. Jake hadn't done anything wrong; in fact the problem was that he was too good - good to hang out with, good to… you know. But as previously discussed they weren't going to actually date each other, so she needed to protect herself. She needed to protect both of them.

But Jake had to know that he wasn't the problem.

He didn't seem to have got the message.

"I know I'm immature and everything," Jake said, looking away from her again, "and it must be a pain to have me round all the time -"

"Jake-"

"- and I totally get why you'd want me to back off, and I will if you want me to, I promise -"

"Jake I don't -"

"I'm a pain in the ass but I'll -"

"Would you stop?!" Amy exclaimed, her nails now digging into Jake's arm through the layers of hoodie and shirt. Jake did stop talking but he wasn't looking at her. Amy stepped in front of him and placed both her hands on his shoulders, and tightened her grip until he met her eyes. "Jake, listen to me - you didn't do anything wrong, okay? Stop it."

Jake stared at her for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Sorry."

"Stop apologising," Amy said, almost laughing. She sobered up quickly, and shook her head. "I'm sorry I… I didn't mean to make you feel like that."

Jake gave her a small smile and then reached up and took hold of one of her hands. The fingers of her other hand curled slightly against his shoulder as the heat of his skin seemed to shoot up her arm.

Serious moment Amy. Stop it.

"I know. It's stupid," Jake said, squeezing her hand. "I just… don't want you to end up hating me."

Amy almost laughed at that, it was so ridiculous. Jake could annoy her, infuriate her even, but he could never make her hate him. She couldn't even imagine it.

Her hand slid up his shoulder to cup his cheek. "That's never gonna happen," she said firmly.

Jake gave her a small, crooked smile, and Amy returned it. She belatedly realised that she was standing ridiculously close to Jake - way closer than was appropriate for casual friends, and certainly not for the workplace - and one hand was still on his cheek and her other hand was entwined with his at her side and… she needed to step back before…

She didn't step back. She knew what was going to happen next but… she didn't step back.

They stepped forward at the same moment, bodies pressing together as their mouths met urgently, deep and searching and desperate. Amy's hands clutched at the back of Jake's shirt before burrowing under to touch the bare skin of his back, hot and smooth, and she felt his muscles bunch and stretch as he propelled her back several steps until she was pressed up against the wall. Jake's had got her shirt untucked and his hands were under the material and running up her side, making Amy moan from the heat of his palms and the coolness of the wall as her shirt got rucked up. She withdrew one of her hands from his back and delved her fingers into his hair, raking her nails over his scalp. He groaned and and she grinned against his lips. He immediately retaliated by sliding one hand up and under the cup of her bra, and Amy's grin was lost in a gasp.

None of their clothes were actually fully removed, more just pushed and pulled at until they were out of the way, and all Amy was really aware of was the feel of Jake against her, around her, and how she was just desperate for more. She knew in the back of her mind that they were crazy, that the whole thing was wrong, but then her knee was hooked around Jake's hip and he was pushing into her and she just dropped her head back against the wall, braced one hand against the shelf next to her, and dug her nails into Jake's shoulder. He surged up to swallow the sounds she was making with his mouth, and Amy panted against his lips as they fell quickly into a rhythm that had them gasping and clutching at each other within moments. Amy wrapped both her arms around Jake's neck and buried her face in his shoulder, the collar of his shirt caught between her lips as she tried to smother her cries as she came. Jake followed moments later, pushing her even harder against the wall and groaning into her neck.

Amy stayed where she was with her arms wrapped around Jake as she struggled to get her breath back. As her breath returned, so did reason.

"Oh my god," she whispered.

Jake chuckled and pulled away, slowly and a little shakily. Amy immediately felt cold… which was probably something to do with how her clothes were hanging half off of her. Her shirt was half-unbuttoned, her bra was coming undone, and her pants and underwear were on the floor, caught around one ankle.

She was half naked in the evidence lock-up.

"Oh my god," she muttered again, quickly reaching down to yank her pants back up. Her cheeks were burning with shame; how could she have been so reckless? She wasn't this girl, she didn't have sex in public places. And she certainly didn't have sex at work.

What if someone had walked in and heard them? Seen them? Thank god there weren't any security cameras this far back in the room, she hadn't even thought about…

This was the problem. This was what Jake did to her. This was why she'd been avoiding him for five days… and yes, that avoidance was probably why she'd been so desperate for him to touch her that she'd broken one of her cardinal rules.

Okay, well, that proved she shouldn't avoid him for so long again, as if the look of dejection on his face while apologising for his shortcomings a few minutes before hadn't already done that.

At the memory of their conversation, Amy found the courage to look up at Jake. He'd got his clothes basically straight, and was trying to smooth down his hair. His eyes were already on her, and he dropped his hands when she looked up.

Amy gulped. "That was…" She trailed off, unable to even articulate her conflicting feelings.

Jake quirked an eyebrow at her. "Hot?" He suggested, his lips twitching into a smirk.

The smirk was enough to get Amy out of her daze. "A one time thing that will never, ever happen again and never be spoken of," she said sternly, folding her arms. "Got it?"

"Of course." Jake's eyes flicked down to her crossed arms and his smirk grew. Amy glanced down too and saw that she'd not finished buttoning up her blouse, and her arms had pulled the material down to reveal a ridiculous amount of cleavage. She huffed and hurriedly got to work on the top buttons.

Jake laughed, and when she looked up he was grinning. "I'll leave you to it," he said, eyes twinkling with amusement. It was a way better look on him than the sadness of before. He held up his hand for a high-five, and Amy rolled her eyes before complying.

"See you later?"

For a moment Amy thought it was a stupid, redundant question, but then she noticed that Jake's smile had faded a bit and his eyes were searching hers - he wanted to know if they were still meeting up that night.

She should say no. But… well, this didn't really count, did it?

"Sure," she said. Jake grinned, winked, and then turned on his heel and left.

XXX

So the whole stepping back plan didn't really pan out. Amy met up with Jake the night of the evidence lock-up incident, and the next night, and the next. Well, avoiding Jake hadn't been good for either of them, and had resulted in breaking one of the rules, so it was a bad plan to try that strategy again. She reasoned that she needed a new plan and that in the meantime she should just carry on as normal.

It did occur to Amy that the problem could probably be solved or at least improved by just talking to Jake about it, but the thought of that conversation made Amy feel nauseated so that was a no.

She did make sure to have a 'night off' more frequently than before and never let them spend more than three nights in a row together, nor both weekend days. If Jake noticed the pattern or had a problem with it, he never mentioned it, and there was (thank god) no repeat of his trying to apologise for being the problem.

Amy adjusted to the new pattern easily and relaxed somewhat as the weeks went by, but her realisation about the changed nature of their arrangement was never far from her mind. Except for Amy making sure they spent time apart, things were pretty much the same as ever - there was takeout, bickering while watching TV, highfives after sex. But now that she was aware of it, it was glaringly obvious to Amy how far from a normal 'friends with benefits' arrangement they really were.

It wasn't just that they met up way more often than necessary, or that they spent most of their time together just hanging out instead of actually having sex; that was only part of it. Over those weeks, Amy started paying attention to all the little things Jake did that she'd not really thought about before. Like how he always, always got her order right - he not only knew her favourite takeout whether it was Chinese, Indian, sushi, pizza, Polish - but had also somehow memorised how her tastes varied from place to place, depending which particular restaurant they ordered from.

He seemed to be able to read her mood with a fluency that astounded her. There were some days when she just wasn't in the mood to waste two hours eating takeout and watching TV before dragging Jake to her bedroom - those were the days that she would pin Jake to her door with a kiss as soon as he arrived - and Jake would always be reaching for her already every time. Whenever she had a stressful day at work, Jake would invariably start rubbing her shoulders as they sat on her couch together - Amy carried a lot of her stress in her neck and shoulders, and he always seemed to know when her muscles were knotting up without needing to be told. And on days when she had a particularly bad case to work on, as sometimes happened, Jake would either keep cracking jokes until she couldn't help but laugh, or sling his arm around her shoulders and let her just lean into his side… and it always helped.

He was trying to be tidy. Trying, because it was Jake and there was clearly a limit, but whenever he was round hers he didn't need to be told to get plates for the takeout, or use a coaster, or not to use one of her cushions as a tray, and at his place he'd stopped leaving dishes in the sink for days at a time and was doing laundry way more frequently than he used to. Amy had stopped reminding him (nagging, was the word he'd used) about those things a while ago, convinced she was fighting a losing battle, but something must have got through. He'd even found a tin to put his receipts in.

(Amy filed her receipts by month, cross-referenced by vendor and type, but... baby steps.)

So yeah - Jake was basically an incredibly attentive, thoughtful and considerate... whatever he was... and Amy was kind of freaked out by it and turned on by it in equal measure. She wished she could just go back to the time when she could thank him for getting the takeout without wondering why he was paying attention to how she ate, but that time was passed. This was their new arrangement - it was more than a mere arrangement, and Amy was aware of it and was pretty sure Jake was aware of it too, but neither of them were admitting it was more than what they called it. And it all worked fine.

Then one evening Jake came over to Amy's with pizza, and one look at his face told her that something had happened.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she closed the door behind him.

Jake shot her a surprised look before turning away and heading for her kitchen. He clearly thought she wouldn't notice something was going on with him, and Amy wasn't sure whether to feel offended or smug.

"Nothing," he said. "It's - I just ran into Sophia." He shrugged. "No big deal."

It clearly was a big deal from the way Jake was standing. His whole posture screamed 'defensive', and Amy knew that pushing him on it right then would get her nowhere. So she just nodded. "Okay," she said. "Did they remember the extra chillies?"

From the way Jake practically leapt on the change of subject, ignoring the encounter with Sophia was clearly the correct way to play it. Amy helped get Jake get plates and napkins and beers from her kitchen, and hoped that his prattling on about the correct ratio of chillies to cheese while watching a movie would take Jake's mind off of it.

It became clear pretty soon after the movie started that it hadn't. The first ten minutes was spent devouring the pizza, so Amy didn't really notice it at first, but once they were both sitting back and done with eating, it became painfully obvious: Jake was almost completely silent. He wasn't cracking jokes, or making fun of the characters' choices, or attempting their accents, or any of the other million annoying things he usually did while watching a movie. He barely even replied to Amy whenever she made a comment - the best she could get out of him was "yeah", "sure", "maybe".

It was cliche to say that she missed his babbling, but she did. Silent Jake was just plain weird, and resentment of Sophia flared up inside Amy so strong that her knuckles whitened where she gripped her beer way too tight.

Did Sophia have any idea what she had done to Jake? Amy didn't know every detail, but as far as she could tell she had ended things because of a disagreement over their jobs, and also because Jake arrested her boss for drug use. What had she expected him to do? Let it slide? Never mind the fact that the guy later kidnapped Jake and held him at gunpoint - he was clearly a complete nutjob who needed to be behind bars. But anyway, whatever. Amy didn't know the full story and that wasn't really the point anyway.

The point was that his break up with Sophia had really gotten to Jake for some reason. She remembered what he'd said, when their arrangement was just starting up; that he wasn't over the way everything had gone wrong so quickly. Now it was months later, and it was obvious that he still wasn't over it, and Amy found herself wondering if, despite what he'd said, he also wasn't over Sophia the person.

It would be understandable... she was a smart, successful lawyer who seemed to share Jake's quirky sense of humour. And on top of that she was just about the most gorgeous woman Amy had ever seen in real life. She was always so well-groomed and knew how use make up completely flawlessly and didn't put her hair up all the time and looked way better in a pantsuit than Amy ever would...

Amy shook her head slightly, annoyed at herself for comparing herself to Sophia. It wasn't new - when the guy who told you that he liked you (twice) started dating someone else, it was perfectly natural to draw comparisons - but she'd hoped that she would stop once they had split up.

Guess not.

Anyway, even if Jake did still have feelings for Sophia it shouldn't be a problem for her, except as knowledge she might use to help her friend. That was the only reason she was wondering about it. She wanted to help.

Jake shifted next to Amy, breaking her out of her thoughts, and when she refocused on the movie she saw that she'd been as silent as Jake for at least ten minutes.

Jake cleared his throat.

"Er, you know what, I think I might just go home," he said.

Amy swallowed. "Oh, okay," she said.

Jake gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, I'm just not gonna be good company tonight," he said. He shifted forward and put his barely-drunk beer bottle on the coffee table.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Amy asked after a moment.

Jake let out a kind of humourless chuckle. "No."

Amy bit her lip. She didn't want to push him but... she hated seeing him like this. "It might help," she said. She picked at the label on her own beer. "I mean, if you still have feelings for her then –"

Jake's head whipped round to stare at her. "I don't," he said. Amy just looked at him, and he turned to face her fully. "Really, I don't," he said firmly. Then he shook his head and sighed.

"I just… Sophia was my first, like, adult girlfriend, you know?" He said. "Before her I hadn't had a relationship that lasted more than a month since before the Academy. And I thought it was going fine, and then it just… imploded, you know?"

Jake groaned and sat back properly, running his hands through his hair and making it stick up all over the place. "It all went so wrong so quickly," he said quietly. "And I'm just… I keep thinking about it and I hate it because what does that say about my chances of ever having a proper adult relationship? I should be able to do that, and I can't."

Jake dropped his hands back down to his lap and stared blankly, straight ahead at the TV. He looked completely miserable and suddenly, Amy was done.

"That's it, I'm done," she said out loud.

Jake jerked his head round to look at her. "What?"

"Done keeping my mouth shut, I'm done," Amy announced. She sat forward and put her beer bottle down with a clink, and turned back to Jake.

He was watching her warily. "What do you-"

"Jake, you did nothing wrong with Sophia," Amy said.

Jake actually started to roll his eyes. "Well she broke up with me, so clearly -"

"She broke up with you because of her own crap, Jake - she just used what you did as an excuse," Amy declared. "And what you did, by the way, was your job."

Jake looked like he was going to say something else, but Amy didn't give him a chance. "I can't believe that she's made you question yourself like this, and I can't keep quiet about it anymore," Amy said.

Jake did a kind of weird half shrug, and Amy grabbed hold of his hands, fiercely determined to make him understand. His eyes went wide and he froze, staring at her with something close to shock.

"You are one of the sweetest and most romantic guys I know," she said seriously. "Yes, okay, you can be a bit immature and you don't always take things seriously, but you care about people, you care so much, and you would do anything for your friends and the people you love. I've seen it over and over again."

Jake blinked and looked down, and Amy squeezed his hands. He squeezed back.

"You're kind and funny and you have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met," she said, a little bit softer but no less intent. "You're an amazing boyfriend, and one day you'll be an amazing husband and just because Sophia couldn't appreciate that does not mean you need to change the way you treat women or handle relationships - she was the problem, not you. Okay?"

There was silence in the room except for whatever was happening in the movie, Amy's words seeming to vibrate in the air between her and Jake. She stared at Jake defiantly, almost daring him to argue with her - she would win this argument. There was no way Jake was leaving her apartment without knowing that he was the sweetest, kindest, most caring guy she'd ever met, and that anyone would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend. That she was lucky to have him in her life and that she only wished that she was brave enough to admit to herself that she wanted everything from him.

Wait, what?

Jake was staring back at her with a look of... well, awe on his face, and it was a look that Amy recognised - it was the look he'd given her at that god-awful double-date when Teddy had forced her to admit she liked him.

That Look, coupled with the sudden turn in direction in her thoughts, brought Amy back to herself abruptly. She pulled her hands away from Jake's and distractedly reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears. Jake's eyes followed her movement and Amy looked away and forced a small smile.

Break the tension break the tension...

"Sorry," she said ruefully. "I didn't mean to… you know, rant."

Jake cleared his throat. "It's okay. It was a good rant." Amy smiled again and he smiled back briefly before his face did the thing again. Amy couldn't handle looking at the Look - she dipped her head again.

The silence stretched on again, and Amy kept looking at her hands, waiting for Jake to say something and simultaneously dreading whatever he had to say. That was… what she'd said… well, she'd meant it. She had. Jake was a good man, and a… good boyfriend. She'd been ignoring it, but the fact was that for all intents and purposes that's what he was - they spent all their time together, they weren't seeing other people, they cared about each other… and yeah. He was great at it, and Sophia was nuts to have let him go.

Did that make her nuts for not trying to turn what they had into something real?

Maybe it did.

Oh god.

Jake shifted a little. "You – um. I don't really know what to say," he said after a moment.

"That's a first," Amy quipped, leaping on the opportunity to break the tension.

It didn't really work, and she stared down at her hands, not knowing what to say either. The silence dragged on for a lot longer than was comfortable before Jake cleared his throat again. "I should go."

"Okay," Amy said, hoping that Jake couldn't hear the relief in her voice. She couldn't deal with him being there right now, not while she… had some thinking to do. She risked a look up again - Jake was standing up and not looking at her, so Amy shook herself and stood up too. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah,"Jake said, shrugging into his jacket. Then he turned to face her again and the Look was back. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something else, and Amy's heart started thumping double time, but he looked away after a moment and started towards the door instead. Amy trailed after him, an odd mixture of relief and disappointment warring in her chest.

He turned to face her again when the door was open, and before Amy could react he stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thank you," he said softly as he stepped back. Amy managed a nod, and then Jake gave her a smile and left without another word. Amy closed the door behind him and threw the latch closed, before letting out a long breath and resting her forehead against the door. She hear a noise on the other side and quickly stood up straight again, eyes wide, before stepping forward as quietly as she could to look through the peephole.

Jake was still there, facing the door, his hands shoved in his pockets, and he was obviously thinking hard because Amy could see a myriad of emotions passing over his face. He raised his hand to knock, and Amy swallowed hard.

What if he knocked? She'd have to let him in. Obviously. Of course. But he was so clearly… thinking, he probably wanted to talk and Amy… she wasn't ready. She needed to think as well, she couldn't…

It didn't matter, because Jake dropped his hand without knocking and turned away. He stopped after a couple of steps, but kept going again and then was gone.

Amy stepped back and walked back over to the sofa in a daze, sat back down and stared unseeingly at the movie that was still playing for a full minute before dropping her head into her hands.

The next time the Captain asked her for a self-evaluation, she had a great new flaw to add to her list: unable to recognise her own feelings.

Amy felt like an idiot. She'd managed to recognise that her and Jake had blurred the lines between friends with benefits and something more, but hadn't realised what that actually truly meant: namely that somewhere along the line, she had fallen for Jake. And not just 'I-think-that-maybe-I-might-like-him' - no, she'd fallen for him. Hard. As in 'I-think-about-him-all-the-time-I-want-to-share-everything-with-him-when-he-smiles-I-go-gooey-and-I-don't-ever-want-this-to-end' hard.

And it had taken her ranting to him about how amazing he was and about how awful his ex was to make her see knows how long she'd felt this way - Amy clearly couldn't be trusted to be a judge of her own feelings, so she would never know for sure. A while, at least.

Oh god.

Okay, so she was in… deep feelings with Jake. Right. So… now what? She'd admitted it to herself, what was the next step? Clearly, given her feelings, she should be looking at… dating him for real?

Actually, what she really wanted is for them to carry on like they were, but not have to worry about spending too much time together, or about anyone finding out, or about not being overly affectionate or kissing with no other purpose than to just kiss. And she wanted him to know how she felt about him.

Which meant a conversation about it.

Amy squirmed a little at the thought, but… well… it wouldn't be that bad, right? (Unless Jake didn't feel the same way, of course, then it would be possibly the worst conversation of her life and would probably mean she would need to get a new job or possibly even move cities.)

She couldn't be certain, obviously, but she thought that it was… likely… that Jake felt the same way. The way he treated her, the way he wanted to spend so much time with her, even if they were just hanging out, the way he smiled at her, how he'd been about to say something tonight, how he'd almost come back in, that Look… the signs were there.

Jake still liked her, as more than friend. Romantic styles. And she was maybe kind of ready to admit that she felt the same way.

XXX

Yeah, no. Turns out she was definitely not ready to admit she felt the same way. Not to Jake, anyway.

There was no denying anymore that she had strong feelings for Jake, but Amy spent a sleepless night thinking of all the ways she could screw up that conversation, how she could end up with nothing, or how she could end up with everything she wanted only to screw it up and end up without Jake even as a friend. A break up with Jake would be the worst break up of her life, she was absolutely certain of it, and was it worth the risk? Yes she had romantic feelings for him, but first and foremost he was one of her best friends, and her partner, and the thought of losing that was unbearable.

She just… needed more time. She needed to be absolutely sure, you know? So, not never, just… not right then.

Of course there was the chance that Jake might say something, considering how he'd acted the night before but… well, she'd deal with that if and when it happened. And just… not think about it until then.

(Yes, okay, she was a coward. Whatever. She was allowed to be a coward about this, it was a big deal.)

Jake wasn't in yet when Amy arrived in the precinct, and she purposefully headed to the break room around the time he usually got in to make herself a coffee so she wouldn't have to deal with him right away. She took her time, and when she was done Jake was already at his desk, typing away. She paused in the doorway of the break room for a moment to gather herself, and then headed over.

"Morning Peralta," she said brightly. Oh god, was that too bright? Damnit, Amy.

Jake didn't look round. "Hey Santiago."

Amy let out a relieved breath. Okay, this was okay. Just like any other morning…

Then she saw the muffin on her desk. Specifically, a banana bran muffin from the coffee shop two blocks away. Amy didn't like their coffee (Jake did, and a quick glance confirmed he had a to-go cup on his desk) but she loved their banana bran muffins, and Jake knew it.

Urgh, why did he have to be so thoughtful? It was not helping.

Amy looked at Jake and saw that he was already looking at her with a small smile on his face. Amy forced a smile back. "Um, thanks," she said, sitting down.

"No problem," he said. "That's five dollars, though."

"The muffins are only two-fifty."

"I charge delivery, plus there's my tip."

Amy really was smiling by this point, and she rolled her eyes fondly before turning to her computer. She didn't need to worry - this was fine. But then she caught Jake's eye again and he was still smiling at her… it wasn't quite the Look, but it was affectionate and sweet and made Amy feel like she was the only person in the world that he wanted to smile at and…

She turned decisively to her computer and avoided looking at Jake again as she drank her coffee and ate her muffin (it would have been churlish not to eat the muffin).

There was a briefing a little while later, and Amy walked past where Jake was sat and took the seat next to Rosa instead. She didn't feel bad about it - he would have much more fun sitting next to Charles anyway. (Of course sitting behind him meant that she was stuck looking at the back of his head for the entire briefing, but that was fine. She didn't stare that much.)

Later, she waited until she knew Charles was also in the file room before going there to put some case files away… it seemed safer. And she had lunch a little earlier than usual, when Terry was already in the break room.

She wasn't going back to her old idea of avoiding Jake completely, but she did think it was a good idea to not be alone with him for a day or so, just until things felt a bit more normalised. At the moment her stomach was flipping every time she looked at him, and that just wasn't practical in the workplace.

It was fine - absolutely fine - until mid-afternoon, when she got a call from a witness in a burglary she was working on with Jake. The witness was a mechanic they'd tracked down from CCTV who'd maybe seen their perp; they'd interviewed him two days before and he'd not exactly been helpful. But he called and said he had some more information for them, and wanted to meet right away, and Amy wasn't going to turn down a potential lead.

The only problem was it would mean spending twenty minutes alone in a car with Jake.

Damnit. She'd been doing so well.

She couldn't go alone, it was against protocol, and it was their case, he'd want to come. Luck was with Amy though, because Jake wasn't at his desk, and when she found him in the briefing room he was going over case notes with Terry for an assault case they'd landed the day before, and were surrounded by notes and diagrams and photos.

"It's okay, you don't need to come with me," Amy said to Jake after telling him about the phone call.

"Give us like thirty minutes to finish up and-"

"No it's fine, Rosa can come!" Amy declared, smiling a seriously fake smile.

"What?" Rosa chimed in from her desk.

"Can you come with me to interview a witness in our robbery? I don't want to leave it too late."

Rosa shrugged. "Yeah I guess."

Jake tried to stand up but had a folder open on each knee. "I can - crap - we can do this l-"

Amy shook her head, still smiling. "It's fine, really - you stay here. Come on Rosa."

She thought of it as a bullet dodged until they'd been driving for a minute, and Rosa turned to her and said "so what's the deal with you and Jake?"

Amy's eyes widened. "I - that's - there's no-"

"Whatever," Rosa said with a shrug. "I don't care. But you should sort it out before it becomes more of a problem at work."

Amy's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "It's not a problem at all," she insisted.

"Sure."

The witness owned his own garage, which was more of a junkyard than anything, an old parking lot with old card and piles of scrap littered around a trailer in the middle that served as his office.

"Shouldn't take long," Amy told Rosa as they got out of the car next to the trailer. There was no sign of Mr Logan, the witness, but Amy could hear a radio playing in the trailer, and strode over to the door with Rosa on her heels.

She rapped on the door.

"This place is depressing," said Rosa.

Amy have her a quelling look, but she didn't actually disagree. It was depressing. And why wasn't Mr Logan opening the damn door?

She pounded on the door. "Mr Logan?"

The sound of whispers and then two seconds of footsteps were all the warning they had- Rosa grunted and Amy turned round in time to see her crumple to the ground, revealing a stocky man who had just hit her round the back of the head with the butt of his gun.

Amy was already reaching for own gun as she turned, but an arm wrapped around her chest from behind her, (now the damn door was open) pinning her arms to her side, and she barely got one kick in before a hand reached up with a cloth to cover her nose and mouth. The sweet smell of chloroform flooded her senses, and Amy desperately tried to hold her breath, but to no avail- her eyes started watering and her limbs went limp, and with no way else to fight it Amy just kept her eyes on Rosa, willing her to be okay. She did see her start to stir, but two seconds later, Amy was unconscious.

XXX

Amy woke up slowly, her senses coming back to her gradually as she struggled towards consciousness. First she became aware of how cold she was. She could hear a distant rumbling, and muffled voices, and could smell dust in the air over the lingering sweet smell of the chloroform.

The thought of the chloroform jumpstarted Amy's return to consciousness - the memory of it jolted her awake, and her eyes flew open with a gasp. She was sitting on the floor in a large room, dust on every surface, the only light coming from large windows up by the ceiling, some thirty feet above her head. Looking around, Amy quickly saw that she was actually in an unused warehouse, and almost wanted to laugh at how cliche that was.

She was alone, as far as she could tell, and she quickly assessed herself for injuries. She felt slightly dizzy from the chloroform, and her head was starting to pound with a vicious headache, but other than that she was unhurt apart from something cutting into her wrists - her hands were tied behind her back, fastening her to an iron post in the middle of the warehouse floor. She bent her hands and scrabbled with her fingers, trying to feel what it was that bound her. It was some kind of rope, and it was tight - even just bending her hands made the fibre cut into her painfully. She wasn't going to be loosening those knots.

Amy could feel panic starting to rise up in her, but she shut her eyes and took several deep breaths, trying to keep herself under control. Panic wasn't going to help her - rule number one in a hostage situation - remain calm.

Of course it was easier said than done, but Amy concentrated on her breathing, determined not to lose what little control she had of the situation. She wasn't going to let her kidnappers - whoever they were - see that she was frightened.

She couldn't believe she'd been kidnapped, actually kidnapped. What on earth did they want with her? To use her as leverage against the NYPD? To get revenge on someone she knew? Maybe it was like Hoytsman and Jake, and it was someone she'd put away trying to get revenge on her personally.

The thought of Jake made Amy's eyes prickle, and a lump formed in her throat, but Amy swallowed it down. No. Jake had remained calm with Hoytsman, she would remain calm too until he found her.

Because he would. Amy knew with absolute certainty that Jake would find her. Rosa wasn't here, so she would have called in what happened the minute she regained consciousness, and the entire Nine-Nine would be mobilised. Other precincts would be involved too and Jake would be moving heaven and earth to get to her. She just had to wait for him to get there, and be ready when he did. And when he did, and she was safe, she was going to tell him how she felt about him and stop being an idiot.

Nothing like a life and death situation to make you realise what matters. It seemed Amy's entire day was going to be one big cliche.

Amy opened her eyes again and looked round the deserted room with more intent. There were a couple of old wooden tables against a far wall. A few crates stood against another wall - they looked fairly new. There were a few other posts like the one she was tied to at intervals around the room. Amy craned her neck to see behind her, but it was more of the same, and no one else in sight. There was a set of double doors in the wall to her right, and another, smaller door stood open near the crates. Light spilled through from another room beyond it.

The rumbling sound that Amy had heard when she woke up came again, and Amy could now identify it as a train passing fairly close. An abandoned warehouse near the tracks.

Seriously, what was her life right now?

The rumbling of the train faded away, and in the quiet Amy could hear voices coming from the open doorway. She didn't know if they were just talking louder to be heard over the train or if they were coming closer - Amy quickly shut her eyes and dropped her head back down, hoping that if whoever it was looked into the room they'd assume she was still unconscious.

A moment later she heard footsteps as well as the voices, and she could start to make out what they were saying.

It was a man talking, with a thick Jersey accent. "- his partner, we seen them together," he was saying. "We got her, Peralta will come get her."

"Yeah, Peralta and half the fucking NYPD, not to mention the feds," another man practically growled. "They look after their own."

"Well let's just kill her then," said a third man. "That'll teach him a lesson."

Amy froze. For the first time since waking up she felt truly scared - it was about revenge, but it was about revenge on Jake. And the first guy was right - they had her, which meant Jake was coming for her… hadn't that been exactly the thought to keep her calm just moments before? But now… now the thought of Jake coming for her filled her with dread.

"Yeah! Just kill this one, let Peralta stew for a bit, then come back and finish him off."

Amy's hands were trembling - she clenched her fists to still them and tried to keep her breathing even. It wasn't working.

"There won't be any coming back you idiot – you know how hard it was to get back to New York in the first place?" The second guy was saying now. From the way the others spoke to him, he was clearly the one in charge - the one with the murderous grudge against Jake. "I can't do this again, and now thanks to you assholes, Peralta and the feds know something's up."

Amy swallowed as she realised who the voice belonged to. Someone with a grudge against Jake, who was of interest to the FBI as well as the NYPD, and who had had to sneak back into New York...

It could only be Freddy Maliardi.

"I still say we just kill her…" grumbled one of the guys.

"Just shut up and let me think!"

The man's - Maliardi's - voice was loud and clear as though he was standing in the doorway of the room Amy was in, but fading footsteps told her that he and his goons were walking away again. Amy kept her eyes closed and her head down, just in case… and it wasn't like having her eyes open was going to help her anyway.

Okay… okay. Well, not okay, actually. Very not okay. She'd been kidnapped by Freddy Maliardi, the only remaining big hitter of the Ianucci family. He'd been on the run for a year, since Jake's sting had brought down the rest of the crime ring, and from what she'd heard he'd come back to New York with only one goal in mind - to get his revenge on Jake.

The whole thing had been a set-up - Mr Logan was either working with him or coerced into making that phone call to get her out of the precinct… no, to get Jake out of the precinct. It was just by sheer dumb luck that Amy had taken the call, been in the middle of an emotional breakdown, and brought Rosa along instead. Any other time she and Jake would have been the ones at the garage, Amy would have been knocked unconscious and left behind, and Jake would have been the one waking up in this warehouse.

Thank god for her emotional breakdown. Amy felt a twinge of guilt for thinking it, because Rosa had been injured and she didn't even know if she was okay, but the alternative... Amy shuddered. Maliardi was stalling because she wasn't who he'd wanted, but if he had Jake, she was sure he would already be taking his revenge. Jake could have already been dead.

Amy swallowed and sternly told herself to stop thinking that way - it hadn't happened like that, and instead she was the one who was there. She was the one who was in danger, who had to keep her cool and sit tight until they came for her.

She just needed to stay calm.

It was maybe ten minutes later when she heard footsteps approaching again. Amy stayed where she was as they drew closer and closer, until finally she could feel herself being watched intently from not far away.

"See? She's still out," said one of the goons.

"No she ain't," Maliardi said immediately. "She's faking."

Well, there wasn't any point pretending anymore - it would only lead to one of them coming closer, and she didn't want that. So Amy abandoned all pretence and opened her eyes.

Sure enough, it was Freddy Maliardi, and he was standing right in front of her, flanked by two men. Amy recognised the stocky one as the guy who'd pistol-whipped other guy was well over six feet and had arms like fricking tree trunks - no wonder he'd been able to grab her so easily.

"Hello detective," said Freddy pleasantly, smiling politely. He seemed to be waiting for a response, and Amy tried to think of what to say. In the end she settled on a tight smile, and that seemed to be enough.

"Sorry about this… little inconvenience," he continued, waving his hand around. God, Amt hated him- he was so smug and oily and was clearly expecting her to have a breakdown or something. She was not going to give him the satisfaction.

In fact, seeing as how he hated Jake, Amy was going to channel him and see how he liked that.

"My boys here weren't after you, they was after your partner," he said, fake apology lacing his words. Amy added bad grammar to her list of things she hated about him.

"But he wasn't there and they thought you were the next best thing."

Amy shrugged. It hurt her shoulders with her hands tied behind her, but she didn't wince. "Well we do look alike," she quipped.

Her voice didn't shake. Good.

Maliardi grinned. "That's funny," he said. He turned to the tall goon. "She's funny."

"Thanks." Amy cocked her head to the side. "Well seeing as it's all a big misunderstanding, how about you just let me go and we'll think nothing more of it?"

Maliardi's grin turned into an unpleasant smirk. "Real funny."

He walked around her, slowly, staring straight at her. Amy refused to look away first, and eventually he broke eye contact as he walked past her, so he was behind her. Amy did not like that she couldn't see him anymore, but she just turned her attention to the goons instead, determined not to let it show. They were both watching her, and she looked them both up and down one at a time, then raised an eyebrow in the most unimpressed way she could manage before looking up at the ceiling as if it were more interesting.

There was a sudden, loud scraping noise from behind her. Amy didn't jump, but she did drop her head back down to try to see over her shoulder. A moment later Maliardi came back into view, dragging an old wooden chair across the room towards her. He brought it round in front of her, sat down, and leaned forward so his elbows were on his knees and his face was only a couple of feet from Amy's.

"Look, you know the drill. I can't let you go," he said. "Now, I could just kill you, send Jakey a message, but I don't really got time for messages."

Amy didn't move a muscle. She wasn't going to let this lowlife intimidate her.

"So I'm thinking instead I leave a trail, wait for him to come get you, and I take him out," he continued. "Now, maybe you get killed too in crossfire, maybe not. We'll see." He gave Amy another oily grin. "Sound good?"

Amy put everything she had into a sarcastic smile before answering. "Sounds great," she said. "So Jake follows your trail, and comes to find me with half the NYPD and the FBI with him. Maybe you get away again afterwards, maybe not. We'll see."

Maliardi's grin vanished and Amy felt a small stab of satisfaction underneath the ever-present current of fear. "Oh don't you worry about me getting away, sweetheart," he sneered after a moment, before standing up so abruptly the chair fell backwards with a crash. "You just sit tight, we'll be back."

He strode away, his goons on his heels, and Amy kept up her glare in case he looked round again, but they were soon through the door and out of sight, leaving only the fallen chair and little swirls of settling dust in their wake.

Amy let out a deep breath and sucked in another, desperately trying to calm her pounding heart. Okay, so this was bad. Maliardi was a dangerous man, and he was pissed. Pissed at his situation, pissed at his incompetent men, pissed that his plan had gone off track and most importantly pissed at Jake. And when criminals got pissed, innocent people got hurt.

Of course, Maliardi wanted to hurt Jake, so he was probably fine with that. He was also clearly fine with Amy ending up as collateral damage. But who knew what kind of crazy scheme he would come up with to get Jake where he wanted him… who else would be with Jake… how many people he would end going through to get what he wanted… what would happen to her...

And yet the thing Amy was most worried about was Jake getting hurt.

She shook her head and tried to concentrate on what would happen next. They would probably move locations- this was a good place to... to kill someone... but it wasn't exactly the most secure location to lay a trail to for the strong arm of law enforcement. The important thing for Amy was to keep her head and watch for any chance to change the status quo. She was not going to let this asshole hurt any of her friends.

And he wasn't going to lay a finger on Jake.

Afterwards, the thing Amy remembered most was how quickly it all happened.

She'd been alone for maybe ten minutes or so when she heard footsteps again, but they weren't coming from the open doorway - they were outside. Whoever it was was clearly trying to be quiet, but there were a few of them, and they were walking on gravel or something, which made every step louder. Amy barely had a moment to wonder who Maliardi had drafted in as part of his scheme when she heard the sound of breaking glass - this time from the direction of the doorway - and then clunk of something metal hitting the ground.

Amy had been in enough raids to know the sounds of a flash-bang when she heard it, and just had time to screw her eyes shut and turn her head away before the device went off in the other room. Even at this distance it was loud as hell, but she was at least far enough away that her hearing wasn't affected.

There were shouts, a lot of footsteps, more shouts - and then officers were in the room. NYPD officers. Nine-nine officers. Amy sagged with relief.

They'd found her.

Most of the officers were sweeping the room, but one came running over to her. He was young, fresh out of the Academy, and Amy hadn't really spoken to him before. He looked terrified - it was probably his first ever raid.

"Are you okay, detective?" He asked.

Amy nodded, almost laughing with relief. It wouldn't do her credit as a detective much good to go into hysterics though, so she took a deep breath and sat up as straight as she could. "I'm fine - fine," she said. "Can you untie me?"

"Oh, yeah - sorry," the officer said, quickly stowing his gun away and crouching down behind her. Amy winced as he started picking at the knots, but the guy was talking a mile a minute and didn't seem to notice.

"I'm really happy you're okay, the Captain is really worried - and the FBI is here. We got Maliardi and two of his accomplices with the flash-bang but we don't know if they are anymore -"

"I only saw the three of them."

"Oh good. Um… these ropes aren't budging. I should…" he stood up and circled back round so he was facing Amy again. "I'll go and… oh! I think I have a pen-knife."

He started rummaging through his tac vest pockets, and Amy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Now that the initial relief of being rescued was fading, she was just anxious to get the hell out of there. And where was Jake? Was he okay? She hadn't heard any shots or anything, but Maliardi was a dangerous man, who knows what could have happened.

What if he wasn't even there? Amy hadn't seen any of her team yet - just uniformed officers. But he'd mentioned the Captain and there was no way that Jake wouldn't have wanted to come… unless they'd been hitting several locations or something.

After a few more moments of watching officers pass each other through the doorway with no sign of Jake, Amy couldn't take it anymore and cleared her throat. "Is, um, is Detective Peralta around?"

The officer paused in his fumbling to open another pocket. "Oh, yes ma'am, he was in the-"

"Amy!"

Amy's head snapped round towards the inner door - Jake had just come through, and as soon as their eyes met he started running over to her.

Amy's throat closed up as he got nearer. He was there, he was okay, she was okay, she had time.

"Jake-" she said on a kind of gulp as he skidded to a stop next to her and crouched down. His hand came up to to brush her hair back and cup her cheek, and Amy leaned into his touch, completely beyond caring if anyone saw, and forgetting that she was meant to be acting tough.

"Are you-"

Amy nodded. "I'm fine, I'm fine-" she assured him, giving a shaky smile. She shifted forward, and lifted up her bound hands as much as she could. "I just-"

Jake nodded and dropped his hand. "Right." She felt him place his hands on her bound wrists before swearing under his breath. "Jesus, these knots are- thanks." The last was to the officer, who'd finally found that penknife, which he handed to Jake.

A second later the ropes loosened and Amy hissed in pain as they rubbed against what felt like broken skin on her wrists. She brought her hands round to her front, wincing at the ache in her shoulders, and saw that she did indeed have angry red grazes on both her wrists from the rope.

Honestly, considering the situation, she felt she'd got off pretty lightly.

Jake put his hand on her lower back and helped her to her feet. "Shit, your hands," he said. "There's an ambulance outside. Are you hurt anywhere -"

Amy cut him off by turning around and throwing her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in the side of his neck. Jake froze for a moment, but then wrapped his arms tightly round her back, enveloping Amy in warmth. His tact vest was digging into her chest. She didn't care.

It was funny - for all the years they'd been friends and partners, for all they'd been through together, for all that they were sleeping together… they'd never really hugged. There'd been the occasional two-second hug at the end of the Christmas party or whatever every now and then, but nothing like this.

Jake was a good hugger. Amy was going to do this much more from now on.

"I'm fine, really," she mumbled.

Jake's arms tightened for a moment before unwinding; Amy took a step back but stayed close, and Jake kept his hands on her waist.

He shook his head, his eyes wide. "God, Amy, I -"

The Captain appeared next to Jake, and Amy reluctantly dropped her hands from Jake's shoulders and he dropped his too. "Santiago, are you injured?" he asked, looking her over with something she could definitely identify as worry. She smiled.

"No sir, I'm fine," she said. "Thanks for the rescue."

"Of course detective," he said. He looked down at her injured wrists and frowned. "Detective Diaz said she thought they used chloroform on you?"

"They did but no harm done," said Amy. She felt Jake shift a little closer to her, and she took a small step towards him too, so that their sides were touching. "Is Rosa okay?"

"She's being checked for a concussion but judging by how vehemently she tried to insist on coming here, I think she's fine," said the Captain.

Amy sighed with relief. "Good."

The Captain nodded. "Let's get back to the precinct- I'm afraid we will need to debrief you before you're allowed home."

Amy nodded. "Of course, sir."

Jake put his hand on the small of Amy's back to guide her out of the warehouse, and Amy leant into his side.

There was indeed an ambulance outside, and Amy sat inside it with the back doors open while the EMTs cleaned and bandaged her wrists, and quizzed her on the after-effects of her chloroform inhalation. Amy could see Maliardi and his goons being loaded into separate squad cars by Charles, Terry, and what looked like a couple of FBI agents, but Jake stood next to the ambulance step and didn't even spare them a glance.

She travelled back to the precinct in a car driven by Terry, with the Captain riding shotgun, and squashed into the back with Jake and Charles. Jake sat in the middle, and Amy was sure that there was a good two inches of space between him and Charles - he was sitting so close to her. Amy didn't mind - she leant gratefully into his warmth, her bandaged hands on her lap itching to reach for Jake's. But she probably needed to speak to Jake before she started doing that kind of thing in front of the Captain.

On the way back, they filled Amy in on how they'd found her so quickly - it had only been two hours since she and Rosa had been jumped to when they stormed the warehouse. Rosa had regained consciousness in time to see Amy being bundled into a car and she'd called it in right away. They'd tracked down Mr Logan within half an hour when his car popped up on a APB - and he'd admitted that he'd been told to call in return for some degree of immunity. Deal made, he'd told them that it was Maliardi's men who had come to him to set it up, and the Captain had made the call to the FBI. At the mention of Maliardi, Jake's hand clenched into fists in his lap - Amy leant further into his side and felt him relax slightly.

Logan had identified the goons, and Jake had recognised one of them from his time undercover. He'd remembered that the guy had started working for Maliardi when he'd lost his job because the company he'd worked for went out of business, and when they'd looked into it had discovered that one of the company's warehouses remained empty to that day. It had been a hunch, but it had paid off.

When they got back to the precinct Amy had a shower and changed out of her grimy clothes. Jake was waiting for her in the corridor when she stepped out of the locker room - he himself changed out of his tactical gear and clearly fresh out of the shower too - but Amy was immediately whisked away to the interrogation room, where she sat next to Captain Holt and told two FBI agents everything she could remember about what happened. Amy kept glancing at the two-way mirror, sure that Jake and lord knows who else was standing behind the glass, but she didn't leave anything out. It took a couple of hours, almost as long as the kidnapping lasted, and by the end of it Amy felt exhausted.

The agents left, and Amy and the Captain stood up too, Amy a little slower.

"Take the day off tomorrow, Santiago," said the Captain.

Amy shook her head. "I'm fine, sir, I –"

"That's an order, detective," said the Captain, completely unimpressed. "Peralta, get her home safely and make sure she's okay."

The last was directed over her shoulder - Amy turned to see that Jake had stepped into the room. He must have come in as soon as the agents left.

Jake nodded. "Yes sir," he said. He gave the Captain a wide-eyed look of complete innocence. "Maybe I should take the day too so I can check in on her and make sure she doesn't strain herself."

Amy rolled her eyes at Jake, who winked at her before looking back at the Captain, who was completely impassive. He sighed dramatically. "I'm guessing that's a no."

The Captain pursed his lips, looked at Amy, and then back at Jake. "Take the morning," he said. He placed his hand on Amy's shoulder for a moment, and then strode out of the room, leaving Amy and Jake gaping at his back.

"Wow, I can't believe that actually worked," Jake said after a moment. "He must be really worried about you."

Amy shrugged. "He doesn't have to be," she said. "I'm really fine." She spoiled the effect of her firm tone slightly by yawning widely, and then shook her head at Jake's smirk. "I'm tired, but I'm fine."

"Well I'm taking you home," Jake said. "No arguments - you heard the Captain, I have direct orders."

Since there was nothing more that Amy wanted right then than to go home and be alone with Jake, he wasn't going to hear any arguments from her.

It was almost nine by this point, so most people had already left for the day, and the precinct was quiet as Jake and Amy made their way outside and into his car. As soon as they were truly alone, though, Amy started to feel awkward… mostly because she had no idea what to say. she knew what she wanted to say, but it was a big conversation to have, and she was tired and had a headache and her shoulders and back were aching not to mention her wrists and she was definitely starting to crash as her adrenaline levels came down and… although in the movies there were always big declaration scenes straight after a near-death experience, in reality Amy was really not feeling up to that level of emotional investment in a conversation right then.

Even so, when they made into her apartment and Amy yawned again, Jake was standing awkwardly by the front door and she knew she couldn't let him leave.

Do… would you mind staying?" She asked him. His eyes widened, and she tugged on the sleeve of her NYPD sweatshirt and shrugged. "I just –"

"Sure," Jake said. He nodded. "I'll stay."

Amy's eyes darted away. "It's fine if you – I know it's…" she said. She didn't want him to feel obligated. "I know it's against the rules."

"Are you kidding me?" Jake burst out, somewhere between amusement and annoyance. "Screw the rules - of course I'll stay." He said.

Amy blinked at him, before nodding. He nodded back, and then ran a hand through his hair and looked over at the sofa. "Do you want me to…" He said, gesturing towards it, and Amy almost laughed.

"No," she said firmly. Jake smiled at that, and she smiled back. "Come on."

They got ready for bed quickly. Amy leant Jake one of her spare toothbrushes (yes, that's plural spare toothbrushes - oral hygiene is very important) and got changed into her pyjamas while Jake stripped down to his boxers and undershirt. Within five minutes the two of them were lying side by side in Amy's bed, staring at the ceiling and not touching.

Considering how much time they'd spent in that very bed together, it was ridiculous how awkward it was.

Amy cleared her throat. "I can't believe you said screw the rules," she said. "How dare you."

Jake rolled over onto his side to face her, and smirked. "I hate to break it to you, Ames, but by my count the only rule we haven't broken is telling anyone," he said.

"That's not true," Amy scoffed, rolling to face him too. Jake raised an eyebrow at her, and Amy frowned as she actually thought it over. That couldn't be right, could it? Okay, so they'd shown up unannounced and hooked up in the precinct and there had definitely been a good few uses of the phrase 'booty call' and there had been that kind-of date and now they were spending the night…

Jake was smirking now, clearly enjoying watching Amy try to find a rule they hadn't broken, and she glared at him. "We haven't broken rule one," she declared. "We haven't let it get weird."

To Amy's surprise Jake's smirk disappeared to be replaced by a small, kind of sad smile. "Why did you take Rosa today instead of waiting for me?" He said softly.

Amy opened her mouth but closed it again immediately, unable to say anything to that. He was right, of course – she'd let it get weird and affect their working relationship that very day, because she'd been running from her feelings. She wasn't running anymore, but she didn't… she couldn't do this right now.

But Jake just smiled again and reached round to turn off the lamp next to his head. "Go to sleep."

The room was dark, but Amy could just about make out Jake's face in the small amount of light filtering through her curtains. He'd closed his eyes already, clearly not planning on pushing Amy that night – or maybe even ever.

She pulled the quilt up higher and settled into her pillow, one hand on the mattress between their bodies. "Good night," she said softly.

Jake smiled, and reached out to place his hand on top of hers so smoothly that she realised his eyes must have been partially open still. The big faker. "Night," he said.

XXX

Surprisingly, Amy didn't feel disoriented waking up next to Jake – she knew right away that the warmth she could feel was coming from him, and she smiled as she listened to his steady breathing for a few moments before opening her eyes. It was dark except for filtered streetlight coming through the window, so Amy knew it wasn't morning yet . For a moment she wasn't sure what had woken her up, and then she realised her shoulders were throbbing - she was curled up on her side, her feet tucked against Jake's legs and her head slipping off the bottom of her pillow… considering what her shoulders had gone through that day, it wasn't surprising that she was in pain.

She rolled onto her back and stretched out fully, and immediately felt better. She put her weight on her elbows and shifted up the bed, hissing a little as she unthinkingly put weight on her injured wrists.

It was the hiss that woke Jake up – his breathing faltered, breaking the steady rhythm, and he turned his face into his pillow before blinking his eyes open and looking up at her.

"Hey," he said. His voice was low and gravelly and made Amy smile.

"Hey," she whispered. "Sorry."

"S'okay," Jake mumbled, his eyes barely open. "You okay?"

"Just getting comfortable."

Jake nodded, yawning. "What time is it?"

Amy pressed the button on her nearest clock that illuminated the time.

"Almost four thirty," she told him.

Jake groaned. "Four thirty? Urgh – go back to sleep." He closed his eyes to demonstrate.

Amy grinned, watching closely as his expression cleared. His eyelashes looked so long with his eyes closed, and cast shadows over his pale skin. Amy bit her lip, suddenly feeling more awake. She was still tired but… she felt ready.

And Jake was asleep. Typical.

Amy rolled back onto her side, carefully, not turning too much onto her shoulder, and reached out to ghost her hand over Jake's brow, then down his cheek and across his jaw. She wasn't really doing it with an intention of waking him up, but it wasn't exactly a shock when he suddenly spoke.

"What are you doing?"

Amy splayed her fingers against the side of Jake's neck. "You look really young when you're asleep," she said, though that wasn't much of an explanation.

"I'm not asleep," Jake said, opening his eyes and smirking slightly.

Amy shrugged. "Sorry," she said, pulling her hand back.

Jake's eyes followed her hand, and his smirk faded. Eventually he reached out his own hand and gently brushed his fingertips over the bandage on her wrist.

"I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner," he said softly.

Amy shook her head. "You found me within two hours," she said.

Jake looked pained. "Two hours," he said. "Anything could have- you must have been so scared."

Amy swallowed. "I knew you'd find me," she said.

Jake let out an irritated breath. "Yeah, well, I was terrified I wouldn't," he said. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "When I figured out who had you –"

Amy propped herself up on her elbow and placed her hand on Jake's chest. "It's okay."

Jake shook his head but reached up and took her hand, threading their fingers together. He looked over at her and gave her a small smile, which she returned, and then reached up with the hand closest to her and cupped her cheek. "Amy…"

He dropped his hand and sat up abruptly, keeping hold of her hand in his other and fixing her with an intense stare. Amy sat up as well.

Jake took a deep breath. "Okay," he said. "I know this isn't what you want to hear… I know we're just meant to be… friends, but –"

Amy's heart started pounding in her chest, but she finally knew exactly what she wanted to say.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Jake stopped rambling, his eyes going wide and his mouth snapping shut as he just stared at her. Amy swallowed and tightened her grip on his hand.

"I have been for weeks, maybe months – I don't know, I've been trying so hard to push it down," she said. "I've been so worried about ruining what we have because – Jake, you're one of my best friends and I'm terrified – but I so much more scared today when all I could think of was what would happen if he actually got to you."

Jake had the Look on his face again, and it was the first time that Amy hadn't found it scary. Instead, she started to smile – she loved that look, and she was the one who'd put it there.

"Amy I've been in love with you for months," Jake said, reaching out his free hand to tug at her waist to bring her closer. Amy leant forward, grinning like a fool, and Jake started grinning too. "Longer even," he said. He nodded. "Yeah. Definitely longer."

Amy laughed. "Okay Jake it's not a competition."

"If it was I'd totally win," Jake said, before leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. Amy let go of his hand to wind her arms loosely over his shoulders, and his hands came to rest on her waist.

"I knew you weren't ready to hear it," Jake said, serious again. "And we've already gone over my adult relationship issues."

Amy leant back slightly to give him a mock-stern look. "Do I need to do my rant again?"

Jake grinned. "No we're good."

"Good," said Amy, and she leaned in to kiss him. It was light, and chaste, and the most innocent kiss they'd ever had… and it was amazing. She was kissing Jake just because she could, not because they were friends with benefits or whatever.

They didn't try to deepen the kiss, and when they pulled away Jake grinned and tucked Amy's hair back behind her ear. "So, does this mean we get to break that final rule?"

Amy smiled. "I think it means we get rid of all the rules," she said. Jake grinned, his eyes sparking with mischief, and Amy quickly amended her statement.

"Except for the one about hooking up at work," she said sternly. "Seriously, that's not happening again."

Jake was still grinning. "Uh-huh, sure," he said, before kissing her again. This kiss didn't remain quite so chaste as the first, and they were both breathing heavily by the time they pulled apart, but Jake just smiled ruefully.

"Okay so usually I would totally be up for you know, sealing the deal and everything, but it's four thirty in the morning and that's just crazy," he said.

Amy laughed and settled back down on the bed. She was definitely most comfortable on her back because of her shoulders, but Jake didn't seem to have any problem with curling up against her side with his head on her shoulder and his arm across her stomach.

Amy stroked his hair and grinned up at the ceiling. "It's so nice just to be falling asleep with you," she whispered.

Jake's arm tightened. "Yeah it is," he said. Amy smiled and closed her eyes.

"Your mattress still sucks though."

"Shut up Jake."