Maria pulled at her collar the next day after she exited the interview, "Man, I really hate interviews. How'd it go for you Triss?"

"They asked me why I got fired last time and I said "Socks" in a panic so probably not so well. On the bright side, the lady at the desk let me take a peppermint candy on the way out. She said I could grab one for you, too." She passed it to Maria. The older one popped it into her mouth as she walked out the building, feeling the door whack someone she glanced. "Oh hell no. Why are you here?" She looked at the teen who was holding his nose.

Triss dug a napkin out of her pocket. "Is it bleeding?" She asked, staring at the boy.

"Fuck off, I'm fine!" Damian swatted the napkin to the floor, revealing that his nose was, indeed, bleeding. He picked up the napkin and nursed his wound. "I'm here to tell you that Dad was lying and you weren't Sassy Beloved in my phone. It's a lie. He lied."

"Say it one more time I might believe you." She joked. It was a kid- she didn't really care but something about him put her on edge.

"Lemme see your phone." Beatrice demanded, stretching out her palm and looking at Damian sternly.

"What?"

"Your phone. I want to make sure my friend's number is really gone. You shouldn't harass people."

"No way! It's my phone."

"Holy shit, you didn't tell me you had a pet pigeon!" She pointed over his shoulder

"I don't have a pet-"

Beatrice snatched the phone out of his pocket. "Fuckboy." The number was still, indeed, inside and his oil trail left his phone easy to unlock. "It totally is Sassy Beloved what the fuck, kid? Maria, look at this shit. This is worse than the time my brother spelled Cupid with a doubleyou."

Maria wasn't paying attention, she saw the shadows moving she grabbed Triss and Damian's arms and began leading them around a very twisted path through town. She was trying to lose the people that were following but it wasn't working. She found her way back to where she parked her car, threw Triss in the back seat with Damian, climbed in the Driver's seat, and peeled out of the area as quick as she could.

Beatrice buckled Damian in. "Maria, shouldn't we drop him off? Technically I think this is against his will and-"

"Are you kidding?This is an excellent opportunity!"

"Bad child! Never go to the car with a stranger. Jeez, what's this Wayne dude telling you?"

Maria grabbed the spare squirt bottle from the passenger seat and sprayed Damian in the face, "Bad Child. Bad, bad Child!"

Damian wiped his face. "The fuck do you have that for? You own a cat or something?"

Beatrice shook her head. "It's for me. She calls it the 'shut up when I'm driving so we don't crash' bottle."

Soon enough Maria slowed down to a mild pace and pulled in Gotham. "Wanna tell me where Wayne Manor is before I call your house?"

"No. I don't want to go home yet."

"Does your Dad know where you are?"

"He thinks I'm going for a walk."

"Time to walk, then!" Beatrice reached over to try unlocking the car door and got ready to throw it open. She was about ready to toss this little twat out of the car. He'd been hitting on Maria for the last half hour. The Child safety locked the car doors and prevented the windows from being lowered. "Guess I'm just going to have to call your father." Maria pulled into a parking lot and grabbed her cell phone.

"What's your home number?" Beatrice asked.

"None of your damn business!"

"SURPRISE, FUCKBOY!" Beatrice pulled his cell out of her pocket and began digging through his contacts. "Bgirl, Alfred, Drake, Grayson, Pizza place...the list went on until "Coolest Dad in the universe" showed up.

"Found it. I'll dial with this little dude's phone."

Maria reached back and grabbed the phone calling the number, Damian mumbled about letting Grayson change his contacts.

Maria's nails tapped against the wheel as she waited for him to pick up, "Come on, pick up."

"Damian? What's wrong?"

"Hello, Mister Wayne? I'm Maria Reynolds. Um, Sassy Beloved? Your son followed me to a job interview this morning and I was wondering where I could return him to?

There was a heavy sigh. "Do you know where Wayne Manor is?"

Maria smiled brightly even though he couldn't see, "Nope! If I could get the address I can use Gps."

"1007 Mountain Drive, Gotham. Thank you for driving him home. And please be assured, I'll have a word with him."

Maria laughed, "It's no bother, he is quite amusing. Have a pleasant day, Mister Wayne."

Beatrice was squabbling with Damian in the back, spraying him with the 'Shut up while I'm driving so we don't have a wreck' bottle. "Give it!" He demanded. "Get off me, you chewed gum hooker boy! And leave Maria alone!"

Maria noticed that their seatbelts off, started the car, raced forward, and slammed on the breaks before she made her way to Wayne manor. She kept Damian's Cell under her thigh, incase she needed it.

When they arrived after heading through the gate and putting the car in park, Beatrice manually unlocked the door and shoved Damian out of the car. "SAYONARA, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Maria sighed as she turned the car off and grabbed Damian's arm as she walked to the door incase he tried to lock himself in the trunk. She pressed the doorbell. "Is this going to be an ever going pattern or are you going to stop?"

"I don't know. Are you going to stop trying to rebuff my affections?"

Maria swear he was stupid, "Yes. I always will."

The door creaked open. Alfred ushered them inside. At this point, Beatrice hopped out of the car and joined her friends. It was spooky outside of the manor. As soon as she got inside, she wished she'd stayed in the car. It was spooky inside, too. And it smelled really, really clean for such a big old building. Bruce Wayne waited by the staircase. "Hi, welcome in. I'm Bruce. I believe I spoke with one of you on the phone. Miss Reynolds?"

Maria almost tossed the boy, "That's me. Its a pleasure to meet you, Mister Wayne. I was just asking your son if this was going to be a pattern or not." She glared at the teen.

"And he said…?"

Beatrice chimed in. She'd heard the snotnosed reply from the car. She mocked a high-pitch irritating voice. "I don't know. Are you going to stop trying to rebuff my affections?" She snorted disdainfully. "You've got one mighty ornery kid! Maybe you ought to get a babysitter. Or Supernanny."

Maria blocked out Triss, "Damian, you never answered me. Are you going to stop?"

Damian eyed her, then Bruce, then her again, then stared at the ground. "I don't know."

"Lookie here you little shit," Triss hissed, "Back in my day, we had to respect our elders. You're like twelve. Maria is in her twenties, and so am I."

"You're shorter than me! And I'm fifteen." Damian protested.

"That doesn't make me any less twenties."

Maria looked at Damian, "Damian you're a teen of logic right? why don't we Logically tell you why this wont work?"

Alfred ushered them all the living room, knowing this would be a long discussion. He sighed, something about Bats and their stubbornness.

Maria sipped on some juice Alfred brought out, Beatrice was playing with Damian's dog Titus.

"Who's a good puppy? Who's a good puppy? You! You're a good puppy! Oh, c'mere. Awwwe. Yeah, you're a good dog. Good boy! Good boy!" She read his tag. "Good boy, Titus!" Titus flopped onto the carpet, panting happily as Beatrice scratched his chin and rubbed his tummy.

"Damian, we can't work as an um, item? We need to sort out this confusion you seem to be having." Maria took a deep breath, looking at Bruce for some help.

Bruce cleared his throat, "Yes, Damian how about why are you infatuated with Maria? Maybe we can kill some of the things you think are appealing?"

"She's so sassy!" Damian blurted.

"What the fuck she's bitchy not sassy, asshat. Sassy is my schtick." Triss continued petting Titus.

Maria smiled, "Well Damian, if I did like you, I wouldn't be 'Sassy' as you say. I would be happy and giggly. Like those airhead blondes. It is very unappealing."

"Excuse you, Maria. In case you'd forgotten, I'm blonde. You think I'm an airhead? I sco-"

"You're Asexual you don't count in what im talking about."

"The fuck does sexuality have to do with anything? You're using hair color to measure intelligence and throwing sexuality in the m-"

"Look a Cat" Maria pointed.

"THE ONLY CAT I SEE IS THIS LIL PUSSY RIGHT HERE." Beatrice pointed at Damien. "Meow" The cat, Alfred, rubbed against her leg.

"Kitty!" Triss placed Alfred the cat next to Titus and pet them both affectionately. She'd deal with bigotry later.

"Isn't me not being Sassy horrible? Imagine it Giggling, holding your arm, demanding hugs, whining about where you're at. It's not attractive." Maria looked back at Damian.

"I guess not...Still, why would you change and be like that if you liked me?"

Maria shrugged, "Probably something to do with my childhood. It's just how I am when I want to be with someone. Anything else?"

Bruce leaned forward. "There has to be something else, Damian. That other girl, Beatrice, has been just as rude- erm, sassy- with you, and you don't like her."

"She looks like 12. She's flat, whiney, ornery, pissy-"

Triss growled. "You mean like you? Twatfeather!"

Maria sighed, "There is barely any difference between me and Triss, Damian is there anything you want me to clear up for you?"

He smirked like a douche. "How are babies m-"

Triss threw the cat on him.

"OUCH! WHAT THE FUCK?"

"I know what you were about to ask and I think we all know you probably know, you freaking tool."

Bruce sighed, "Damian, I'm sure The ladies will like to go home soon so could you not play around? Ask her anything else."

"Fine…" He thought for a moment. "Why don't you like me?"

"You're like 12, cheeseball." Triss was helpful as ever. "Also you smell like Axe bodyspray."

Maria looked at Triss, "I happen to like Axe so I feel insulted, but besides the fact I'm half a decade older than you? I like someone else."

"WHO?" Damian and Triss demanded in unison, Triss with a huge grin and Damian with a desperate frown.

Maria gave them an uncomfortable look, "Uhh some guy I crashed into at the park…" A light blush dusted her cheeks.

"It wasn't a homeless dude, right? I heard this one chick raving about "beautiful sexy homeless people" in detention once. She even said she'd try and drive this one guy who worked at 24 hour fitness away from his "stupid bitch girlfriend of three years". Please don't be like that girl. Homeless people can be beautiful but please don't try to separate them from those they love. It's scary."

Maria rolled her eyes, "It was a cop. Why am I talking about this to you? I have to go, come on, Triss!" Threw Damian's phone in his lap.

Triss waved goodbye to Bruce, Alfred, Alfred, and Titus. They headed out and went home. "Think they'll call us back?"

"Knowing that boy, he will." Maria drove off, leaving Damian alone with his father.

"I meant from the job interview."

Damian knew his display of bravado in front of his Dad had failed to impress the ladies and had definitely earned him a world of trouble. He was going to be grounded forever. He'd be older than Alfred and still be grounded. Speaking of Alfred, he'd probably be doing the old man's chores, too. Dusting. Dishes. Vacuuming. Laundry. Feeding Titus and Alfred. He had busy days ahead.

"Damian. Want to tell me the reason behind stalking a twenty-three year old woman?" Bruce decided not to lay into him right away.

"She was hella beautiful. Very fresh, like a tomato."

He was in deep shit anyway, might as well milk it.

Bruce silently made a promise to take away the gangster like movies their making his son's speech ineloquent. "Damian, I'm going to burst your bubble right now, she was not that beautiful. She was average at best."

"To you, maybe! But you bring home girls like Catwoman and Talia Al Ghul. I'm fifteen. I find some of the yogurt commercial ladies attractive."

Bruce sighed, "Okay, but you do not stalk them!"

"But how else do I get their attention? After I slammed the door on them, I had to find a chance to talk to her without apologizing."

Bruce looked at his son, "You..Slammed a door on them. And didn't apologize?"

"No. I more slammed it open and they were in the way, anyway."

The front door slammed open, "I'm home!" Dick called out into the manor.

"We will continue this later."

"Fine!" Damian cursed silently under his breath.

"Did I miss something?" Dick asked.

"Damian is stalking a woman who is eight years older than him."

Dick's face lit up, "Aww Damian has his first crush! Bruce! Bruce! you know how I said I'd never get over Babara? Well, I've found a girl who isn't like everyone, throwing themselves at my feet. Even though she ran into me. She ran away she didn't know who I was and she was soo pretty. And she had this cute smile and I have to find her again!"

"Dick tone it down you sound like an eleven year old who just discovered FunDip." Damian muttered.

"Well, I'm sorry for finding someone who doesn't throw herself at my feet like everyone else. So, Damian you know you can never hope to be with this woman until you're eighteen?"

"Shut up, Dick!"

"So what does she look like, your mother?"

"No! She's got brown hair and blue eyes. Breasts."

Dick stopped, "About yea high?" he held his hand to the height of Maria, "Smells like Night by Victoria Sercet?"

"Well, yeah, and she was wearing perfume, so I guess it could've been Victoria Secret. Why?"

Dick crossed his arms, "I call Dibs."

"You can't dibs her! She already drove me home."

"She ran into me, she was ONTOP of me. Dibs."

"She sprayed me with water in her car! Dibs!"

"She touched my hand, DIBSSSSSSSSSSS!"

"She-she-uh…"

Alfred smirked. "She refused your affections, drove you home so that Bruce would tell you to back off, and sprayed you with water?"

Dick laughed and ran out of the room as Damian threw ninja stars at him. "DIBBS~~ SHE'S MINE LIL' D"

Damian slammed his door, "WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT! I HAVE HER NUMBER!"

Dick glared at the door before going to bug Bruce until dinner is ready. "Probably didn't give it to you willingly," He muttered.

Triss and Marie sat around in their bedroom waiting for a call back. Finally the phone rang. They made eye contact. "You wanna answer?" Triss asked. She hated phones. Unless she was messing with some asshole's phone. Too bad she hadn't managed to change all of Damian's contacts to things like Batman and Toothpaste.

"Hello?" Maria took the conversation in for a minute before hanging up. "You got the job!" She smiled.

"What about you?" Triss wasn't as excited. It would only be fun if they both got jobs at the place. How did she get a government job again if Maria didn't?

"I applied for the police station earlier this week and got it. I refused the job when they called me me about it in the interview I went to with you."

"Oh. Okay. Oh, did they mention whether I made it into Security or if I got the other position they mentioned? I don't think they told me what I'd have to do, but they said it paid equal to security."

"The other one, they want men in the security. Something about keeping us in hiding."

"Oh. Okay. Looks like I'm planning city events, then. Do you think people would like a city wide Pajama Day plus pak sleepover night?"

"Try a Kings Ball."

"Boo. Where? And can there be a ballpit? For the kids, I mean. Maybe we could get some words from the Police Commissioner and the Fire Chief."