This story will contain some sensitive subject such as; eating disorders, abuse and depression. If you cannot handle this I advise you to not read it. This is the first chapter that seriously brings these things up and Serina will see them for a point of view of someone who hasn't yet recovered properly, meaning there might be things that's sounds like it's justifying her bad habits or experiences but I'm telling you this ONCE it does not! These are things that should be dealt with and there is nothing justifiable about it except for the fact that it is not the persons fault nor are they ever to be blamed.

It should also be said that this is a story about recovery and the love of a family so things get better, just as in real life, and the story definitely won't be all sad moments!

Other than that I just wanted to say I hope you enjoy it and feel free to comment if there is anything you want to see happening or whatever else you might have on your mind.

(Oh and I don't own The Hobbit)

/Linnéa

The time had come. Serina paced back and forth in her room waiting for someone to come and escort her to her father's study where she would finally meet her cousins and aunt. Balin had sent them a raven the night she came to the mountain to tell them the news. An answer had arrived a couple of days later that read:

Dear Balin.

I do not know if I should even believe you and get my hopes up, how is it even possible?

However I do trust you so I will take your word on the matter and it is with tears in my eyes that I write you this letter.

Our little princess is home where she belongs. I wish we could have been there to welcome her but now it is she who will welcome us.

When I told the boys they immediately started making arrangements so that we can ride ahead of the rest of the group. I believe we should arrive in two to three weeks.

I will include a smaller note for Serina to read on her own so I would be thankful if you gave it to her.

Best regards,

Dis

And sure enough there was note with Serina's name neatly written on it:

To my one and only nice, my little princess, Serina

I can hardly believe I'm writing you this note after all these years, though I must admit I've always felt you were still out there.

There is a part of me who fears meeting you, if I should not recognize you when what shall I do? Though Balin tells me you are recognizable, your mothers nose and my brothers hair. He tells me your eyes are even as blue as they used to be. Oh those eyes could melt any heart.

There is not much room on this paper so even though I wish to write you an endless amount of words of how I missed you I cannot.

Your cousins are arguing right in front of me for who should be allowed to write you a message, little do they know I won't let any of them ruin my note to you. I assure you they are beyond happy to hear of your return. We will see you soon.

With all the love in Arda

Your aunt Dis

Through the weeks of waiting the note from Dis was probably the most treasured thing Serina owned, form the day it arrived she read it every night until the day finally came.

There was a knock on the door and Mina stepped inside.

"It's time my dear" she said looking over the princess choice of clothing. Thorin held his word and got her clothes she felt comfortable in so there she was in simple pants, shirt and boots.

"Can't you put on a dress for this? It's an important moment, one you'll all remember."

"I really don't see why I would want to present myself in a way that is not me, it would be like lying. I'm sorry Mina, you know how I feel."

"I know sweetheart… but it was worth a try" she winked at Serina offering her a guiding hand out of the room.

It felt like they walked forever, everything felt slow except her heartrate that and sped up remarkably. Eventually they found themselves outside the thick wooden door, Mina pated the princess shoulder and stepped away.

"I'll be right outside should you need me" no matter how many arguments they had about clothing and such, they had formed a strong bond over the short amount of time they'd known each other. Serina gave her a grateful but nervous smile and softly knocked on the door. There were a few seconds where she thought no one had heard it but then the door opened and she was met by the warm smile of her father. Moving slightly to the side he let her step into the room. And there they were. Dis in one of the armchairs and the boys standing over by the fire. It felt unreal, sure she had met her father, Balin and Dwalin already but this was different. When Thorin came for her she hadn't been ready and the same went for Dwalin and Balin. But now she was prepared, with the others she hadn't had time to worry what they would think or feel towards her, here she'd had weeks to think about it and build up all the worst case scenarios in her head.

The room was filled with silence, not the awkward type nor tens or frightful, it was it was a comfortable silence as they looked at each other, taking in what they were seeing.

"Hi" Serina finally said, it wasn't as loud as she had hoped for but it broke the silence nonetheless.

"Oh my sweet sweet girl, you've grown up!" Dis stood and strode forward, Serina met her halfway across the room and let herself be enveloped in her aunt's embrace. It's weird, the things one can remember form times so long ago, things one didn't think they remembered, the sweet and smoky smell of Dis was one of those things for Serina.

Loosening their tight hold Dis held the girls face between her hands.

"I knew you were going to be beautiful" she said and looked at Thorin "You'll have a hard time chasing away all them young dwarves, brother" laughter filled the room as Thorin let out some grumbling words about that possibility.

"Well I can't keep you all to myself now can I? You remember Fili, Kili?" she gestured to the boys. Serina nodded and smiled at them. She was barely out of Dis grasp before she was being twirled around by Kili. Laughter bubbled out of her uncontrollably until he put her down and gave her the tightest hug he could manage without crushing her.

"I missed you little cousin!" he didn't have much more time to say anything else before she was pulled away from him and into his brothers arms instead.

"Not as much as I missed you though, you always liked me more!" Fili mocked the brunette.

"Whatever gave you that impression? I was obviously her favorite!" Kili argued. Giggling Serina grabbed a hold of Kili's shirt and pulled him into her and Fili's hug. Sandwiched between them both she felt total happiness. Dis and Thorin laughed at the now, once again, complete trio.

…..

"I can't believe you've actually grown up! You were tiny the last time I saw you! TINY! I carried you everywhere!" Kili exclaimed.

"I seem to remember doing most the carrying… you were more for making funny gestures at her behind my back, thinking I didn't notice." Fili countered.

"Details details… The point is! You're not tiny anymore, I mean I can give you some piggyback rides still but you were so smaaall!" the three of them had been sitting on the floor in front of the fire for hours and it seemed Kili still couldn't get over that fact that she wasn't five anymore.

"That is what happens when one grows up Kili, you do know that don't you?" Serina couldn't help the goofy smile that seemed to permanently be stuck on her face. Kili gave her a gentle kick with his boot.

"I know! It's just weird, it makes me sad that I missed your ugly phase, what am I gonna tease you about?"

"My ugly phase?" she laughed

"Everyone has them!"

"Ay but the true tragedy is that some don't grow out of them" Fili said winking at his brother.

"I'm sorry you feel that way brother, I'm sure you'll get out of it someday" the pair had locked eyes mischievously grinning at one another. Dis, who was sat at the other side of the room with Thorin, knew well enough that those smiles meant trouble so before the situation could escalate she announced that they should all get something to eat.

…

Serina loved good food, she loved to cook, she loved to bake sweet and savory, she loved to make it look nice and could spend hours upon hours making the perfect cake. But food was also her enemy and had been for a long time. Growing up the way she did, jumping from home to home, in and out of hospitals, switching between psychiatrists' caused her to go into more than one period of total depression. And it was during one of those periods she also started battling bulimia. One moment she would eat huge amounts of food just to in the next moment panic and either throw it up or starve herself for the following days. It was something she couldn't control, it would come and go, sometimes disappearing for months just to come crashing down at her form out of nowhere.

During her time at the mountain she'd barely even thought about it once, but sitting down in front of a table overflowing with food while knowing that in a few days she had to stand in front of hundreds of people made her worry that it would come back.

She would be dolled up and put in front of a crowd with her family by her side to officially announce her return, everyone would look at her, compare her to the people around her, judge her, see everything that was wrong with her. Maybe the dress was too tight for her or maybe they could see a double chin on her form their angle. The fact that she would have to wear a corset pointed towards the fact that her waist wasn't thin enough, even though the rational part of her brain knew that it was thinner than it should. All of those things stacked up made her brain basically boil over with anxiety.

She had only ever told two people outside of the hospital about the bulimia and those people were no longer with her. Telling it was one of the hardest things she'd ever done and doing it again didn't even feel like an option. She knew the stress and worry it would cause them so she simply sat down, smiled and acted like nothing was wrong. Serina knew every trick in the book to make people believe everything was alright and she used them.

That is why when Thorin looked at his daughter sitting opposite him, he saw nothing but a happy young woman eating with her family.

Dis was happily chatting about the upcoming celebration making it obvious that she was the one looking forward to it the most out of the people around the table.

"Oh we should definitely get themed flowers for the ballroom and dining hall! What's your favorite flower dear?"

"My favorite? I don't know if I have a favorite… maybe Morning Glories or Poppies? I really don't know Dis"

"Ah yes Morning Glories would be quite nice, we could get some deep blue ones, did you know that's the color or Durin?" she didn't actually let Serina answer before continuing "though poppies does symbolize 'remembering' which would be quite fitting for the occasion. I'll see what I can do."

Thorin sighed, smiling at his sister "Dis you don't have to start already, you just got here and I'm sure the flowers could wait for a day or two." He shouldn't have said that… the dwarrowdam looked positively offended.

"Wait? Wait?! Your daughter has been here for almost a month and she still hasn't gotten a proper welcome! No brother we cannot wait!"

"It's okay Dis… I don't really want there to be any fuss." Serina admitted, a dream come true would be if the whole thing got canceled.

"Oh don't be modest! This is the most exciting thing to happen centuries! Of course the celebration is going to be big!" the dwarrowdam said patting her niece on the cheek.

"You are aware your brother and sons' fought a dragon to reclaim a lost kingdom right?" the boys and Thorin nodded agreeingly to Serina's statement.

"Oh they take too much credit! From what I've heard the Hobbit and that Bard-man did most of the work, and Kili was too sick to even see the blasted dragon!"

"Hey! I saw it!" exclaimed said dwarf, hurt evident on his face.

"Are you sure brother? Because from what I can remember you were mostly staring at that elf" Fili winked at his brother, ducking down to avoid the tomato coming towards his head.

"What was wrong with you Kili?" Serina felt ridiculous for getting worried when this was something that had already happened but she couldn't help it.

"An orc hit me with a poisonous arrow. Almost died" seeing the distressed look in his little cousins eyes he softly added "it wasn't too bad though and I'm fine now, no need to worry Rina." None of them really knew how much she remembered about the orc attack that took her mother away or how it had affected her.

Truth be told, Serina basically only remembered big shapes and the horrible shrieks they let out when they stormed out of the woods that day.

"Well as long as you are okay now and I'm sure you did something useful"

….

Dinner was over and had Dis retired to her rooms while Thorin had some last minute work to do before dark, leaving the three cousins to entertain each other.

"We should go to Dale, maybe visit Bombur and see if we can steal some pastries before he shuts down for the day!" Kili announced excitedly. Thorin had told Serina about the big dwarf by the name of Bombur but she had never met him personally. The fact that he owned a bakery made her like him even before meeting him so the prospect of finally doing so excited her just as much as it made her nervous. And the, of course, there was the fact that she wasn't supposed to wander around Dale, but she wasn't alone now… so it couldn't hurt…

"I think that's a splendid idea cousin!" she smiled, playfully hooking an arm around his, offering the other to Fili, who gladly took it.

Arm in arm they walked through the gates, past the guards and down the road to the city Dale. Said guards looked somewhat panicked, they were told to NOT let the princess leave the mountain but was the rules the same if she was in the company of the two princes'? in the end they decided to not stop her, judging her company to be safe enough, though within the hour they were sent to the kings study to explain themselves.

Oblivious to this the three Durins' were having the time of their life having finally reached Bombur's bakery. The big dwarf was just closing up when they stepped inside the cozy front room, to say he was shocked to see the princess was the understatement of the year. At first he didn't noticed Serina at all as she lingered behind her cousins, he'd given both of the boys an affectionate smile, welcoming them back.

"Bombur this is our cousin Serina, Rina meet Bombur" Fili gestured between both of them. Bombur's eyes widened to a remarkable size as he started stuttering

"Oh your highness! I'm so terribly sorry I didn't see you there!" blushing he bowed his head to her

"EY you don't go around bowing to us! We're royal too you know!" Kili whined jokingly, causing his younger cousin to elbow his side.

"Shut up Kili, no one needs to bow to anyone here. It's a pleasure to meet you master Bombur, I've heard a lot about you" her reassuring smile put the rounder dwarf somewhat at ease and he straightened up.

"Good things I hope! Not to be rude but I don't trust it if it came from those two" he indicated to the brothers.

"Not to worry, most of it came from dad, Dwalin or Balin."

"Ah well then, now what brings the three of you to my bakery at this hour? I was just about to close"

"We just wanted to show her a little bit of Dale and your bakery is a good start" explained Fili "and I believe Kili hoped to snatch something sweet before you shut down" he continued, elbowing his younger brother.

"Why don't you three come through to the back and I'll see what I can do for you."

And so they spent the next few hours with Bombur talking and laughing about his version of what happened on the journey to reclaim Erebor.

…

The world outside the small window of Bombur's bakery was pitch black but the warmth and laughter that filled the inside made it seem like a totally different world. Serina felt completely at ease in there, the sweet smell of baked goodies mixed with the smokiness of the fire eased the anxiety that had brewed inside her through the day. Bombur was telling her of the company's very first encounter with Beorn, the skin-changer.

"… and I ran past every single one of them, even the young ones!" he laughed heartily. Fili and Kili reluctantly admitted that it had happened.

"So you mean to tell me that you managed to outrun ALL of them? That bear really scared the shit out of you didn't it?" Serina was surprised the round dwarf could run at all so imagining him running past even Fili and Kili was hard, though not impossible. Directing her eyes to Bombur she saw him blushing furiously as he started stuttering

"I-I-I was scared but I assure you I did NOT soil myself!" the combination of his statement and the look on his face caused the princess to laugh so hard that by the time she managed to compose herself her stomach was aching.

"Oh master Bombur I didn't actually mean that you shit yourself! It's just an expression, what I meant was that it really really scared you." Her cousins laughed with her and eventually the older dwarf nervously joined in with a chuckle

"You have some peculiar expressions lass…"

"I guess I do, I've gotten some weird looks while talking since I came back." She admitted, it had been quite hard for her to re-learn what was considered proper language in Arda and more that once she had found herself saying things that confused the people around her.

"Maybe they just think you look funny" Kili said winking at her. Kicking his leg under the table she tried to look hurt but quickly found laughter, once again, bubbling out of her.

"You're hurting my feelings Kili!"

"And you're hurting my leg!" her cousin dramatically grasped his leg and rubbed where she had kicked it.

"Oh stop being such a drama queen!" the two of them locked eyes, a challenging smirk lingering on both of their faces, a silent battle storming between them.

"Aaaand that, I think, is a sign that we should get back home. I wouldn't want them to crash your store Bombur." Fili declared putting himself between his brother and cousin.

"Maybe that's wise, I should probably get home to the wife and our little ones' anyways, come back anytime you want lass." Bombur put a warm hand on Serina's shoulder as they walked out into the cold night.

"What about us?!" Kili exclaimed but was duly ignored.

"I have a feeling I'll be back soon, maybe you can teach me how to bake some traditionally dwarfish sweets?" The princess asked, hoping he wouldn't mind.

"It would be my pleasure!" he answered, giving them all one last smile he lit a lantern and walked down the street to where his wife and children were awaiting him.

Because the moon was nowhere to be seen and no one in their right mind would be out walking at that time the tree cousins found themselves stumbling through the streets in the dark. None of them had thought about bringing a lantern so all they could do was to aim for bulking contour of the mountain. Serina and Kili were bumping into each other with increasing force, giggling like little girls when they got the other person out of balance.

"You've only been reunited for less than a day and I can already tell what a horrible combination the two of you will be, the mountain doesn't know what's coming." Fili said, trying to sound serious but failing miserably. Giggling Serina and Kili joined forces to bump the blond back and forth between them. Eventually the oldest dwarf had enough and put his arms around each of their shoulders squeezing them hard enough to keep them from moving in any other direction than the one he decided upon.

Quietly they walked through the stable, nodding to the guard at the door and started down the corridor. Just like the night Serina had arrived with Thorin there were torches dimly lighting up the walls, guiding them to the royal quarters. All three of them held their breath as the sneaked pass Dwalin's door, thinking they had successfully safely returned without being caught they started biding each other good night just to be interrupted by the sound of a heavy door opening

"Did I not tell you to stay inside the mountain? and you two, I thought better of you than to put your own cousin in danger like that!"