My Sunshine
-a more detailed version from 'Uchiha Family Drabbles - Chapter Four: Secrets'

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray,
You'll never know dear how much I love you-"

-SS-

A man of twenty-one shifted his position in bed to watch the smaller body that was lying next to him. He could hear her breathing; deep and steady in contrast to the the emotions that had clung to her like second skin. Sakura's pink hair had lost its healthy luster and lay limp against her pillow. Dark shadows had formed under her eyes and several lines had made its mark upon her otherwise youthful face. His black and purple eyes traveled down to the simple white shirt that was originally his that covered her upper body. Sasuke's eyes softened as his gaze rested upon her flat stomach.

Not more than a month ago that belly was rounded with their supposed first born child.

Whether it was a tragic coincidence, an accident or some fucked up sense of karmic justice against him, the Uchiha knew there wasn't anyone to be blamed for this.

Sakura was a trained and more that capable medic who was so in love with the tiny being that was growing in her. She had been so careful throughout the whole period; ate the right food, avoided stress and never missed a check-up with her doctor. Call him sentimental or some other kind but he was more than confident that Sakura was the perfect mother.

So why- of all people- did it have to be her?

Why must she go through this painful process of getting pregnant, loving the child with all her heart just for it to be taken away from her?

There were questions that simply had no answer. Like why he had to lose his entire family-

Why Itachi had to die before he could know the truth about his clan.

Why (almost) everyone he loved died.

It was unfair... but life itself was unfair.

His thoughts were derailed when he heard her make a small sound like a groan. Her face scrunched into a pained expression before her eyes flew wide open.

Alarmed green eyes were greeted by black and purple ones.

They stared at each other for a few minutes but it felt a lot longer than that. He didn't say anything- not a single thought can even form in his mind as he stared into those somber viridian pools that was completely contrast to its usual lively shade.

She didn't utter a word as well and he knew that she won't even listen to words of comfort as she knew that he had difficulty saying them. Instead, she just eased herself towards him by encircling her arms around his torso and placed her head against his chest and he, in turn, embraced her form in a tight one-armed hug that almost squeezed the air out of her lungs. He pulled back when he felt her shoulders tremble and tears flooded from her eyes but she just shook her head and buried her face against his chest.

It was already morning as the sunlight tried to break into their room that was shielded by blinds and a blue curtain that she had placed a month ago. Normally, her alarm clock would have blared out half an hour ago and she should be halfway towards the hospital ward she had founded four years ago but the clock was shattered into a million pieces as it went off yesterday and it caught her in a bad mood. Sasuke didn't say anything and let the broken bits of plastic stay wherever it fell.

Sakura had lost her appetite as well.

The only food that got into her system was a vegetable soup he made for her the night before and she was forced to drink it up when he glared at her in a threatening manner and scolded her. Sasuke never wanted to intimidate her into doing what he wants but she was forcing him to take extreme measures.

Empty

That's she wanted to say- she felt so damn empty like an apple that was cored. They kept asking the same damn question every time.

What did they expect her to say?

'I'm fine'?

'It's okay, we can just try again'?

Things weren't that simple. Especially when she felt like someone had stolen a piece of her.

Looking at her reflection on the bathroom mirror wasn't the best idea at the moment, she knew that if she felt crappy then there's a high probability that she will look the same so why bother confirming what she already knows?

Out of sincerity and paternal concern, Kakashi-sensei had ordered her to take a break for half a year with paid leave. She wanted to object to this, insist that she will go insane if she wasn't kept busy with work but a steely eye and firm stance told her that his orders will be followed and no amount of tantrums and verbal onslaughts will change it. She held her tongue as he asked her to go home and take a rest so she gave him a cold shoulder and slammed the door so hard that the hinges were torn off from their screws and the frame of the door cracked.

Ino and Hinata-chan had dropped by again yesterday and even if she wanted nothing more than to be alone, she welcomed their presence with a herculean effort that she should win an award for it. Ino had wrapped her arms around her while Hinata held her hand and spent the day keeping her company while Sasuke went out with Naruto and the Rokudaime. After they left, she slowly walked the the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water. The sound of steady water that dripped to the tub was strangely comforting. Without taking off any article of clothing, she submerged herself in the tub and sat on the middle, hugging her legs to her chest and vaguely aware of the warmth that seeped from the cloth to her flesh.

That was how Sasuke found her, drenched to the bone with bathwater that spilled to the floor and she was shivering but didn't even make a move to get up. At first, she thought he would scold her, tell her she was being foolish and stupid- tug her out of the rub and order her to change her clothes. Or maybe he will just leave her there and let her sulk. But he just turned off the tap and knelt on the wet tiles before he swept the disarrayed pink hair from her face.

Guilt crept into her heart as she stared blankly at his face. It was expressionless as usual but his eyes held the feelings he was afraid of exposing to anyone. And there she was curling into a ball in a fit of depression- thinking that he could care any less about her situation.

Does she really think so little of him? Maybe it was a force of habit, after all he was known to have a nasty attitude and absolutely rude with their peers and former teachers.

He was the considerate one whereas she's now the one who made things complicated; usually it was the other way around. She was jolted back to reality when she felt herself being lifted from the tub, an amazing feat since he only had one arm, and made her sit on the edge of the counter. Sasuke took out the stopper from the tub, letting the water drain. Sasuke started to peel the sopping clothes and grabbed a fresh towel that was placed on the countertop. The woman just let him do as he pleased, realizing that whatever she will say or do will be rebuffed.

Both of them were silent as he dried her hair and exposed skin that wasn't covered with her underwear. Sakura slowly blinked as if she was watching the scene in third person- that was when she knew she needed help.

Strange, she was supposed to be the one who helped those who needed this type of support yet she was hesitant to open up to anyone... even to Sasuke.

It was a venomous, destructive emotion that stirred into her psyche. A poison and she knew that this will ultimately destroy her relationship with not just her husband but with everyone else.

'I need help', that was the first rational thought she was able to form since the miscarriage.

She robotically grabbed her bathrobe and let him lead her to the kitchen where she sat on her chair as he began to boil mixed vegetable in the pot and scooped the broth in a bowl.

At first, she just stared at the bowl, not knowing what she should do. Sasuke gave a short sigh before he grabbed the spoonful of soup and held it in front of her. Sakura didn't want to eat- she just wanted to sleep but when she refused to open her mouth; Sasuke glared at her before he took a sharp breath and growled out, "Eat!"

There was anger in his voice and she had seen him angry many times to know that he meant business. So she just opened her mouth and let him feed her until the soup was gone.

He led her to their room and opened their dresser when she found his old shirt that was hanging by the chair. It may be her depression or the sudden need of something warm that made her put it on and just crawled into their bed while Sasuke stared at her with her camisole in hand.

'You're being unfair' her inner voice chided and she agreed. It was more than obvious that Sasuke wanted to help- and he can't since she won't tell him what he should do. But the problem was- she didn't know what to do either.

The feeling of helplessness, a heavy weight on her chest and depression made her realize that she had felt the same thing a long time ago...

She was heartbroken.

For some, it was stupid. How can you love someone you've never even met? Especially if that person was barely... well a person. But she knew the baby; she had cooed and talked to it every single day. Even if it was but a moment, it's like she had known it for years.

Sakura shivered when a cold air blew to her direction, making her curl up into a ball. She closed her eyes and listened as Sasuke walked to the foot of their bed and placed the duvets up to her chin before laying down next to her. Opening one eye, she traced the outline of his body through the darkness of the room. The subtle flow of his chakra and his silent breathing had lulled her into slumber.

She opened her eyes and saw that she was sitting on the rocking chair in a white sundress. A gentle breeze caressed her skin and let her pink hair dance as she looked out of the open window to see the peaceful scenery of Konoha. There was movement and warmth in her arms and she saw a baby with onyx hair and green eyes just staring up at her.

A beautiful child with fair skin and bright eyes squirmed in its blue blanket with and the Uchiha clan insignia printed on the sleeves of its pajamas.

Life was cruel.

She knew that this was a dream because she knew that it would never be. Sasuke was nowhere to be found whereas he didn't leave her side and the child in her arms was now in a small coffin under the ground next to Itachi's grave by the Uchiha clan cemetery.

Sakura's eyes welled up with tears as she held the child and embraced it with much fervor. "I'm sorry..." she whispered, "I'm so sorry" Her tears continued to fall as she hugged the baby close because she knew she will have to wake up from this dream.

There was a tiny movement from the bundle in her hands and the feeling of being pulled away almost left her broken but before everything turned black, she thought she heard a little boy's voice whisper,

'I love you kaa-chan'

She opened her eyes to see Sasuke staring at her with question in his eyes. The sudden drop of reality almost crippled her and she wanted nothing more than to embrace the man she loved and seek comfort. Sakura wrapped her arms around his lithe form and felt him do the same as the oncoming wave of tears spilled.

No matter how much she wished that dream was real, she knew that life won't wait for her to come around. She knew she had to move on and she can't deal with this alone. So after a few more minutes of hiccups and sobs, she finally looked up to Sasuke and told him- "I'm ready".

It was tough.

Talking about her situation with a counselor was something she had thought was easy led her to clam up as soon as the therapist asked her about what she wanted to do. At least she didn't ask Sakura about her feelings because if the Uchiha woman was questioned about it one more time, there will be a massive crater right in the heart of the village.

The doctor, Itsumi, had given her a prescription pill that will act as an anti-depressant that will calm her down and put her REM cycle back to normal. Sasuke miraculously told her that he won't be wandering out of the village for a while and Naruto would stop by their apartment more often and even take them out for a quiet dinner at Ichiraku.

Ino and Hinata, even Temari, had roped her to have weekly shopping trips or just lazy afternoons watching soap operas with a carton of ice cream and dumplings. Sakura had good friends, she was well aware of that fact. Her parents had been there with her as well. Her father tried ro make her smile as often as possible although all his horrible jokes had always left the room silent and her mom would just stroke her hand through her hair in a soothing manner which never failed to make her sleepy.

Fall has ended, winter came and went as well and before she knew it; she had recovered from her grieving. Maybe not fully recovered but she had made a huge leap (based on what her therapist told her) and she mentally thanked her friends and parents for their support.

But the one person she was most thankful for was the quiet man who shadowed her footsteps. The one who continually held on to her when she was having a sudden crying fit or a fallback to depression. It was impossible to think of Uchiha Sasuke as the man he was now. In his youth he could care less about anyone else other than his ambition but now he was a changed man.

It was the night before his departure and they were silent as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. The windows that were previously covered with thick curtains was now opened by a tiny margin to let the air seep in. Sakura hummed a little tone as she began to trace random patterns against Sasuke's skin.

"Sasuke-kun?" she spoke aloud and looked up at him.

He lifted his head and rose a brow at her, telling her to continue.

She was supposed to ask him when he will come back but instead, she gave him a smile and pressed her cheek against his chest,

"I love you"

It had been a long time since she said that to him. She was so focused on getting over her grief that she had forgotten about telling him that simple fact. To be fair, he wasn't so vocal with it either but she knew he felt the same way with her. Why else would he stay for her for the duration of six months if that wasn't the case?

He lifted her up until her eyes leveled with his before he placed a kiss on her forehead. Sakura grinned again as she curled up to his chest and let the strong beat of his heart lull her to sleep.

-SS-

It had been two months since Sasuke had left and Sakura was back at the hospital to work when she found herself feeling weak and drained despite that it was only nine in the morning. It may have been the heat getting to her but a nagging thought at the back of her head told her it was something else. After much hesitation, she bought a box of pregnancy test. At first, she thought that that it was a false positive but after using all the sticks and produced the same answer; she rushed to Tsunade and asked for her second opinion.

The older woman had her tested and gathered the lab results to give her the answer that she already knew but couldn't believe-

"Congratulations Sakura, you're pregnant"

-Four Years Later-

Sasuke and Sakura had just came home from their visit to the cemetery. The sky was gray and the air was somber but the light in their home and the thought of their daughter who was being watched by Mebuki gave them a sense of peace. Sasuke followed her through the threshold as Sakura called out for both her mom and their daughter, Sarada. He took off his sandals and heard the girl's clumsy footsteps coming from her room.

Wearing her peach sweater and yellow skirt, she greeted them with a smile and bits of cookies on her face. Curiosity filled her face when she looked at her mother and tilted her head, "Kaa-chan, are you okay?"

He watched as Sakura deftly wiped the remaining tears from her face before she picked her up and kissed her cheek which earned her another questioning gaze.

"Don't worry Sarada-chan, mama's just happy" she answered.

"Why?"

Sasuke stared at them before Sakura turned to him with a gentle smile on her face before she looked at Sarada said, "Because you're here with us."

And Sasuke wouldn't have it any other way.

-•-
"...
Please don't take my sunshine away,
Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away"

A/N: Please don't forget to review to show some support~

Song: You Are My Sunshine by Anne Murray