These blasted plot bunnies are threatening me. I shouldn't listen to them, but then again, what can one do about it when the blasted plot bunnies are gnawing at you and wont stop until you give into their evil wills. That's is excactly what this story is, a gnawing feeling that I have had engraved in my mind since I watched this episode. I felt Merlin's reaction could have been so much better. Here is a little one shot of what I felt the converation in 5x8 the hollow queen could have been like.

I would like to appoligize for my distinct lack ofisclaimers so I will say it now. I most definatly do not own merlin, for he is owned by the BBC.

But I still have my dreams.

"Oh, so you can go see that girl again?" Arthur retorted matter-off-factly.

"W-what?" Merlin replied shocked. Arthur couldn't know abot her. Memories flooded back to him. Memories of a simpler time, when Merlin had loved, could love.

"The girl" Arthur said again, whilst repressing the urge to roll his eyes at his stubborn manservent, who appear to be quite embarassed' Arthur guessed this as his servant had started to change colours. He was starting to turn quite red.

"Don't have one..." Merlin trailed off. He had to turn around to hide the tears that were now welling in his eyes. Why does he have to ask?

"That's not what Guinevere tell me." Arthur said with a sigh. He knew Merlin was hiding something from him.

"...anymore" Merlin finished his previous sentence almost silently. Merlin throught to himself, there could nnever be another, never another like her, never another that Merlin would truly loved. Tears were now flowing down his pale cheeks freely.

"What was that?" Arthr asked, turning around to face his friends back. His friend who appeared to be nows silently sobbing. "I didn't hear you, Merlin" He said with more anger than he had actually meant.

Merlin was filling up ith rage, How dare he act like this when Merlin was so upset. He turn around violently "I said sire that I didn't have a girl anymore" Practically shouting at Arthur and saying the last word through gritted teeth.

"What do you mean by anymore?" Arthur responded, surprised to see the tears falling down his friends face and the pain staining his eyes.

"She died" Merlin said sadly "I was visiting her final resting place" He choked a sob. He hadn't actually visiting the lake but it would be an excuse to get Arthur off his back about where he had een for the past few days.

"oh" Arthur sighed once more, he hated to see Merlin like this. He just had to mention such a delicate topic.

"How did she die?" Arthur asked one final question'

Merlin had to tell him the truth, rage still boiling and bubbling up inside of him.

"You..." Merlin said with a stern and judging look. "You killed her, Arthur"

There was a look of disbelief in Arthurs eyes as he watched his bumbling manservant leave the room without another word. He heard Merlin fall in the corridor and sob violently, all alone.

Thank you for reading and don't forget to review, it is what fuels the plot bunnies after all.

I guess this could be a prequel to Who am I anymore. I suppose it would make sense.

Now I am sure I wouldn't have to remind you that this is a oneshot so therefor I will not be adding anote chapter. This goes without saying for all completed stories.