Author's Notes: Hi everyone. I know I've been off the map for years. However, I'm back for the moment (and with a new pen name too!). Work has been terribly stressful these past weeks and it's only getting worse. I've got to write about 70 pages of academic material in the next week and a half, so it probably seems insane for me to be writing a fic, even if it is a short one. But I really needed the creative outlet and Arrow 3x19 really got my mind buzzing, unlike my research of late. Anyway—to get back on topic—with SA stating that his favorite scene in 3x20 takes place on the jet to Nanda Parbat, there's been a lot of speculation as to what the scene will include. If you've seen the extended end-of-season promo, then you know [spoilers] that Oliver and Felicity are going to sleep together at the LoA HQ. This fic is a bit of speculation about how Oliver and Felicity, currently miles apart in the world of romance, might get to that point. The scenes preceding the jet are brief and underdeveloped. I mostly included them as a way to set the stage. All from Oliver's POV. [Notes continued post-fic... I don't want to give anything away!]

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Felicity was right. Oliver too often allowed himself to forget that love was both give and take. He knew how to give of himself. He sacrificed everything to help Starling City. He'd lost his family company, his mother, Tommy, and Sara. He'd lost his chance to be with Felicity and now he'd lost Roy too. He'd given up his life as Oliver Queen, his chance at happiness, all to be the Arrow, and now he'd even lost that. He couldn't save Starling City, he couldn't save his friends, but at least he still had his soul. At least Ra's hadn't taken that. And he still had Thea. Roy was alive and telling her would bring the light back to her eyes.

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It wasn't long before he arrived back at the loft. He tried to gather himself and put on the closest thing to a happy face he could muster but he just couldn't find that light within himself. He'd forgotten what it felt like to not be in pain. So he kept his face down and announced himself as he opened the door.

"Thea, I've got good news."

When there was no answer he looked up. "Thea?! No! No, no, no!" A blood-curdling scream escaped from deep within him.

#

The gentle beeps and hum of life support machines were all Oliver could hear as he sat by Thea's bedside. Digg and Felicity had gone home for the night, but Oliver couldn't bring himself to leave. He knew it was selfish to think of himself while Thea was fighting for life, but he couldn't help but think that if Thea died, he'd have nothing left.

He felt a presence join him.

"What do you want, Maseo? Hasn't Ra's taken enough from me?"

He wanted to fight. He wanted to kill. He hadn't felt this much rage brewing inside him since the Count nearly injected Felicity with a lethal dose of Vertigo. But each time he looked a Thea his fight turned to agony. Fighting is what got him here. Fighting is what Ra's wanted.

"I bring an offer from the Demon," Maseo answered.

"You mean command," Oliver replied.

"He will allow you access to the Lazarus Pit in exchange for an oath of loyalty. Take your place as heir and your sister will live."

#

Oliver was alone. Sure the others were on-board the jet, but he was alone all the same. He felt powerless now. All he could do was sit and stare at Thea's broken body before him. She was gone. He'd lost everything and now his only option was to yield to Ra's—to exchange his life for a mere chance at regaining hers.

He felt a presence join him though he hadn't heard the cabin door open.

"Hey, Oliver," said Diggle as he slowly approached.

Oliver couldn't respond. He just stared at Thea's lifeless form.

"Listen, man, I get it. I know you feel like you failed her. I know you want to bring her back. If I could've done that for my brother I might have. But that wouldn't make it right. This isn't the way. You can't do this. It's unnatural. It's... wrong."

Still no response.

"Fine, Oliver. Don't talk. Just know that if you do this, there are going to be consequences beyond joining the League."

As Diggle walked away the silence between them was deafening.

#

"Oliver?" It was a gentle voice, full of concern. Only Felicity could break him from his trance.

He couldn't look her in the eyes, so he kept staring at Thea's body instead. "I don't get it, Felicity." His voice was barely a whisper. "How can you believe in me? How can you see me as anything other than a failure? I just... I just wanted to help the city and all I've managed to do is anger the police and get some of my friends and entire family killed. Maybe Lance is right. Maybe I'm a monster. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I'm the reason for all this horror."

He felt her place her hand on his shoulder like he'd done for her so many times before. And in that moment the floodgates broke. Oliver leaned into her touch and wept openly for the first time since Tommy's death. He couldn't control it and with Felicity, that somehow felt alright.

"Oliver... you are not a failure." Felicity's voice was full of strength, conviction. She rounded the chair and knelt before him, putting herself in his line of sight. "I don't know if this will work or if she'll be different like Merlyn said. But I do know two things: you'd do anything to save your sister and that's not the mark of a monster. That's the mark of a good man. You're a good man."

Oliver let that sink in. He still couldn't see himself the way she did.

"And the second thing is that I love you."

Oliver's heart stopped as his eyes went wide. "You what?"

"I love you. I've loved you since the day I found you bleeding in the back seat of my car. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it, to realize how strong these feelings are. Just know that I'm here for you, Oliver. I may not like your willingness to join the League, but I understand, and I'll support you no matter what decision you make."

Oliver took her in his arms. "Thank you, Felicity. Thank you."

They stayed like that for a long while, until Oliver spoke again. "Would you sit with me?"

"Of course."

"And, Felicity?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

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Author's Notes (continued): I'm certain some parts of this won't parallel the show, but I think the sentiment will be similar. The writers will almost certainly save Felicity's first "I love you" to Oliver for the scene they've already spoiled, but I like it here. (Check out the Canadian version of the 3x20 promo if you want to see it.) Rather than the desirous, "I can't lose you," type of ILY I'm expecting in the Nanda Parbat scene, the one here is meant to be a chaste, comforting one. I'm also a bit unsure about how they'll handle Thea. I used her here as a catalyst for closing the distance between Oliver and Felicity. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed my little one-shot!