Notes: Well well... Look who's here.

I don't even know what to say in my own defense...

I promised myself I'd try to update every single work I had here and it's "What if" turn! Yey

I'm really sorry for disappearing from here like this. Thank you so much for all the kind comments.

You guys are the best.

Chapter 12

Darcy Lewis was an independent, strong and confident woman. She lived on the Avengers Tower and she wrangled superheroes for a living. She'd slapped the Human Torch's ass. And Hawkeye's. She flirted with every single person on that Tower, Black Widow and Winter Soldier included.

Asking someone out should be a walk in the park for her.

Except it wasn't!

It wasn't "someone", it was Jarvis! And Jarvis wasn't just another guy, he was…

She didn't want to say he was unique, because -given the circumstances -that was more than a bit obvious. He was unique, but not because he was the only human AI/real boy in the world -maybe the Universe?-; he was unique because he was kind, gentle, loyal, and, above all, one of the most caring people she'd ever met.

There was something about Jarvis that went beyond the fact that he was a miracle; it had everything to do with the person he was.

Darcy sometimes legitimately forgot that Jarvis hadn't always been a real person. There were moments she couldn't remember a time when he wasn't actually around, talking and laughing with them. Deep down she knew he hadn't been there in the physical sense, just as the "voice from above" that had a really charming accent and a quick wit; but he fit so well…

She was a bit scared, she could admit that to herself. What if she asked him out and he said 'no'? What if he said 'yes'?

Why was she so fucking scared?

"Cuz you like him, doll. There's no mystery."

Darcy squealed frightened, hands on her chest. When she turned to her interloper, Bucky Barnes didn't look very impressed by what he'd just seen.

"Jesus Christ, Barnes!" She yelled. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Her heart was certainly trying to get out of her chest right now.

He arched an eyebrow. "You need to be more aware of your surroundings." He told her seriously. "You never know when…"

"When a 90-year-old jerk is going to sneak upon me?" She threw dryly.

"Excuse you, 93-year-old jerk." He told her, the corner of his mouth almost tipping up in amusement.

Darcy glared at him. "What were you saying before?"

"You're scared of asking Jarvis out because you like him." He informed her.

"What?" Darcy looked at him dumbfounded. "Can you read minds now?"

He snorted. "Don't need to, not when you're talking out loud."

Darcy blushed. "I did that, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did." Bucky sighed, like he didn't know how he got involved in this conversation. "Look, I talked to Jarvis too. He likes you, you like him. Just get on with this already."

Darcy felt amused, even though it was a very strange situation. "Bucky Barnes, are you playing matchmaker?"

He snorted again. "You wish, doll. Just tired of you all being weird."

"Rude!" She protested.

Jarvis had been thinking about this since he'd arrived back at the Tower. Well, actually since he found out he was there as well. The only reason he hadn't tracked the other man down it was because he was a bit scared.

Could Loki undo the spell that had made Jarvis a man? And would he do it?

Darcy had said Loki was acting like a decent(ish) person nowadays, but some of the Avengers were pretty sure it was just a plot. They never mentioned it when Thor was around, though; he got really sad, there was pouting… Nobody liked a pouting Thor.

Jarvis found Loki sitting alone in the library, a copy of "The Da Vinci Code" on his hands, an amused smirk on his lips.

"Mr. Odinson." Jarvis called politely.

"This afternoon I feel more like Mr. Laufeyson." Loki informed him casually. "But it might change later."

Why was this place so full of over grown children with daddy issues? Jarvis sighed. "Can I have a minute of your time, Loki?"

Loki arched an elegant eyebrow in Jarvis direction, finally looking at the other man. "Color me curious."

"I'd like to ask you a very important question." Jarvis spoke firmly.

Loki sighed, clearly bored. "You can make an appointment for… Let me see… Never." He made a dismissive gesture with his hand and was about to just vanish from there, when Jarvis's words stopped him.

"Please, no!"

That gave Loki pause. The man looked truly desperate; somewhere between scared and unsure. Loki might be an asshole and a (former) maniacal homicide, but he knew when to stop and pay attention.

"What do you want?" He asked, his voice making his suspicion very clear.

"It's about me, and the spell that made me this way." Jarvis hurried to say.

Loki rolled his eyes. "I had nothing to do with that." He was quick to say. "It was the relic."

"So you can't undo it?" Jarvis prompted, hope in his voice.

So Loki gave him a long look, finally taking in the whole situation. "You were worried I might undo it." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." Jarvis admitted.

"Do you want to go back to the way you were before?" Loki asked.

"No!"

"Even if you did, I can't do it." Loki shrugged. "You're stuck in this mediocre human shape now." He spoke like he couldn't care less, but kept his eyes on Jarvis the whole time.

Loki had never seen such relief in a person's face before. That man had been legitimately scared of going back to being just an AI. "Curious…"

"I beg your pardon?"

"As you were before, you had unlimited access and knowledge." Loki pointed out. "Of course, you didn't have a physical body, but it was a question of time before you got one. It was even more likely that your control would expand. You'd be smarter than Ultron, you could take over this world."

"I don't want it." Jarvis shrugged.

"Why?"

"If I went back to what I was before, I wouldn't be able to taste food anymore." He told him simply. "Even if I got a body, it'd be purely mechanical, so I wouldn't be able to taste flavors anymore. That means no peanut butter, no cognanc -which I admit I have a weak spot for - and no more pizza. I won't be able to smell perfume or the rain. I won't be able to feel the water on my skin or the sun."

Jarvis sighed. "I would be empty of sensations; this is no way to live. I'd rather stay like this."

Loki stared at him for a long silent minute. Jarvis liked being human, he was thriving like this. Loki wasn't lying: even if he wanted to, he couldn't undo this spell. He didn't know if there was any way to change it. But Jarvis didn't want it, he wanted to be human and limited.

"What do you see in this pathetic race?" Loki wanted to know.

"People." Jarvis answered simply. "I see people, and dreams, and fears and so many feelings I can't even name them. This is all beautiful."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Pathetic." He grumbled, before vanishing. However, later that night, while he was lying on his bed, it occurred to him again…

People, Jarvis had said.

People were beautiful.

Who'd have guessed?

Darcy could do this!

She would do this.

She would do the hell out of this.

She would owe this thing.

That would be her.

Boss of this thing.

As soon as she… Well, did this thing.

She wasn't stalling. Really. She was here, wasn't she? Right in front of Jarvis' door, homemade lasagna held in an iron grip, a nice dress, her favorite lipstick…

She'd be super casual about it. She'd knock on his door -any minute now -, offer him the lasagna -while casually mentioning she'd made it herself -, impress him with her looks and wit, and then BAM! Date.

That easy.

As soon as she knocked on the door.

That was the plan until Jarvis opened the door before she was ready for knocking. "Darcy." He smiled at her. "Friday told me you were here."

What a snitch!

"Jarvis." Her smile probably was a bit forced. "I came to give you this." She all but shoved the lasagna into his arms, and the whole thing almost fell to the ground. "I made it, but it was kinda left around, no one cared for it, so…" OMG WHAT WAS SHE SAYING? "Anyway…" She cleared her throat. "I'm going." She decided pointing at the end of the corridor.

"Wait, Darcy." Jarvis asked, clearly confused by her. "Why don't you come in? We can have dinner together." He blushed. "Unless… You don't want… Do you?"

"I do!" She answered way too fast. "I totally do." Since when she said 'totally'? "We can have dinner. Now. In your apartment. Lasagna."

Jarvis gave the lasagna a confused look. "You don't want to eat it? Is that why you're giving it to me?"

"No!" Darcy hurried to say. "That's not it at all. Let's eat. Together. My lasagna. Your lasagna." Oh Lord. "I'll stop talking."

Jarvis' smile was pure warmth. "Hopefully not for the rest of the night."

Oh shit.