Ivan was nervous. Today was the day. After weeks of sitting next the boy with the sunshine smile, he was finally going to do it. He was going to talk to him.

Several weeks ago, when Ivan had first started Astrophysics 101, he hadn't paid much attention to the boy who just so happened to sit to his left. The boy was loud and social and everything that Ivan wasn't. It was only after he asked Ivan for a pencil and Ivan saw that dazzling smile that he really started to pay attention to the boy.

Ivan had learned many things about him. He was fairly certain that the boy's name was Alfred, although he didn't want to assume that. How embarrassing would it be to call him by the wrong name? No, best to not assume things. He knew that the boy loved all things space, although that was a given. They were in astrophysics, after all. The boy was very kind, always offering to lend someone his notes or share his fast food breakfast. He had once offered Ivan a chicken biscuit, but Ivan had been to nervous to do anything but blush into his scarf and mutter something about having already eaten (which was a total lie. In fact, he usually brought an apple or pop tart to class for breakfast, but that day he had forgotten to grab something on his way out the door). The boy had just smiled and placed the biscuit delicately on top of Ivan's textbook. Ivan was grateful for the food, although he never got up the nerve to thank him.

Ivan had been so caught up in reminiscing and worrying that he didn't notice that the boy had entered the lecture hall. The sound of his backpack thudding on the ground broke Ivan out of his trance.

Now was the time. This was his chance. He reached over to tap the boy's shoulder, and suddenly froze. What if he said no? What if he wasn't gay? What if he was gay, but didn't want to go out with a shy, antisocial weirdo whose only friends were his sisters? What if he was so disgusted that he switched classes and Ivan never got to see him smile again? Ivan was paralyzed with anxiety.

He was suddenly aware of a pair of eyes on him.

"Dude, are you okay?"

No no no. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to meet the boy, he wasn't ready for the possibility of a relationship, even if that relationship was only a friendly one.

Ivan retracted his arm. He buried his face in his scarf in an attempt to hide his burning embarrassment.

"I am fine. Sorry for bothering you." Ivan wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor.

"Hey man, it's okay. No need to apologize. You aren't bothering me. You seem like a cool dude." He flashed Ivan that bright, bright smile. Ivan felt his throat clench. There was no way he was serious.

"I am not that impressive," Ivan twisted his scarf around his hands," you are much more 'cool' than me." The boy frowned.

"Hey, don't say that. I bet you're way cooler than me. You're always studying and paying attention in class. I barely ever pay attention. I'm making a D in this class. Hey! I know, why don't you tutor me? You can teach me all about this space stuff and I can, I don't know, bring snacks or something! Oh, I'm Alfred, by the way!" He looked so excited, proud of his idea. Ivan was unsure. On one hand, this was what he wanted. To spend time with Alfred. To be able to build up a friendship that might just become something more. To have a chance to see that smile again.

On the other hand, was he really ready for this? Spending time with Alfred had seemed like a good idea earlier that day, but now it seemed like an impossible task for which Ivan was not at all prepared. Tutoring Alfred would mean having to talk to him. Sure, he would know what to say for the actual tutoring part, he knew the textbook inside and out. But still, Alfred was very chatty, and would no doubt make lots of small talk.

"It's okay man. You don't have to say yes. I understand if you don't want to." Alfred looked like a kicked puppy. Ivan realized that he had taken his silence for a no. Ivan didn't know if he could stand that disheartened look on Alfred's face.

"Ah! Um, I would very much like to tutor you. If th-that is okay." Ivan blurted out. Oh my god. Why did I say that? I'm so stupid!

"That's great! Oh by the way, what's your name?" Alfred said excitedly.

"I-Ivan. My name is Ivan."

Alfred smiled and, without really knowing why, Ivan smiled too.