"Bonnie?" Stefan gapes at his wife standing at the threshold, wearing the dress from the party.

Bonnie shifts on her feet and lets out a nervous sigh. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, this is your home." Stefan steps aside so Bonnie can walk in. Her scent wafts through the air as she walks into the living room and he can tell based on her stance that she's still nervous. "Why I don't I make some tea and then we can talk?"

"Okay," She gives him a grateful smile.

"I'll be right back, but feel free to look around. Maybe seeing looking around will help jog your memory." He smiles before making his way to the kitchen.

After he leaves, she looks around the living room and is surprised when she is filled with sudden sense of belonging. Just seeing how the place is set up makes her feel as though she's meant to be here. Some of it reminds her of the way the boardinghouse looks, but most of it is stuff she would have done herself, making it clear she had some say in how the place was decorated.

She sees several pictures carefully placed on a table in the corner and decides to get a closer look. She's not surprised to see that most of them are of her with Stefan. There are pictures of them on vacation, in places that she's always wanted to visit. She looks up when she hears footsteps and sees Stefan holding a tray containing a teapot and two teacups.

"Do you want to take a seat?" Stefan asks as he places the tray down on the coffee table.

Bonnie nods and quickly sits down on the couch next to Stefan. After getting settled, she lets out a sigh and looks at Stefan."I wanted to apologize for how I've been acting. I've been making decisions based on what happened eight years ago and it's not fair to you."

"It's okay," Stefan squeezes her hand to reassure her.

If possible, Stefan being so understanding about her behavior actually makes her feel worse. "It's not," she shakes her head. "You've been nothing but patient with me and I've been treating you horribly."

"I won't pretend that it didn't hurt, but I know that all of this must seem strange to you." He strokes her hand. "It's only natural that you would be resistant to such a drastic change especially with our history."

"It wasn't just our history." She explains, not wanting Stefan to put the blame on himself. "I've been feeling overwhelmed with the witch stuff and my relationship with Jeremy was the one place I felt like I could be normal… be vulnerable. When I woke up and everything was different it was hard for me to handle. So it was kind of a relief when Jeremy came to see me and was looking at me the same way he was when I last saw him."

"That makes sense and I'm sorry that I was partly responsible for making you feel like you couldn't be vulnerable. I know it's been years for me, but to you it wasn't that long ago."

"Thanks for saying that." She yawns.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie… I didn't realize how late it was," Stefan stands up. "You have to be exhausted. We can talk more tomorrow after you get some sleep."

She starts to protest, but finds herself yawning again. "Maybe you're right," she places her hand into his outstretched one and allows him to guide her up the stairs. She's bit surprised by how right it feels to have her hand in his. Once she gets to the bedroom Stefan lets go of her hand and stands back so she can take everything in.

As she looks around the large bedroom it becomes even clearer that she and Stefan share a life together. Much like downstairs, there are pictures of them together along with stray pieces of clothing (both his and hers), a few books, two grimoires, but it's the bed that captures her attention. This is the bed that they sleep in, the bed that they make love in. She turns around when Stefan starts to speak again.

"If you want to change into something more comfortable most of the stuff you sleep in are stored in the top two drawers," he points to the dresser in the corner of the room.

"Thanks," she smiles.

Stefan happily returns her smile, "You're welcome. I'll be on the couch downstairs if you need me," he heads for the door before turning around to look at Bonnie one last time. "Good night, Bonnie."

"Good night, Stefan."

The moment he leaves, Bonnie heads over to the dresser and immediately starts looking through the drawers Stefan pointed out. She sees some nightgowns, pajama pants; several tank tops, and what looks to some of Stefan's shirts and sweatpants.

In the end she puts on the sweat pants and t shirt because they look the warmest. As she climbs into the bed, Bonnie is surprised by how relaxed and safe she already feels. She ignores the voice deep down that says she would feel even better if Stefan were lying next to her.

-X-

The next morning Bonnie sits at the desk in the office that she and Stefan apparently share. When she woke up this morning, she had been a bit bored so she decided to look around and quickly found the office that was across the hall from the bedroom. For the most part the office set the same way the office in her childhood home is set up, but one thing that is different is the small pile of journals stacked on shelf.

She remembers that Stefan liked to keep journals so it makes sense that he would still do that, but she also remembers Elena saying that he kept them locked in a large chest. So she has to wonder why he has them out in the open.

"I have breakfast ready if you want to eat."

She looks up and smiles when she sees Stefan standing in the doorway holding a tray of food containing pancakes, bacon, eggs, and a glass of orange juice. Unlike yesterday he's dressed casually, reminding her bit of the old Stefan. "Good morning," she greets him.

"Good morning," his smile widens and he smiles when he sees Bonnie struggling not to blush. "I made all of your favorites," he places the food in front of her.

"Wow, this is so good," She says as she stuffs her mouth with a pancake. She's so focused on her food she doesn't notice the way Stefan's face lights up at her compliment.

Twenty minutes later, her belly is full and she's wondering where Stefan learned to cook that way when Stefan suddenly speaks again.

"You should read them."

"Read what?" she frowns not sure what he's talking about.

"The journals, I saw you looking at them when I came in."

She shakes her head, "These are your private thoughts…I couldn't do that."

"Actually I gave them to you as a gift for our first wedding anniversary. I wanted you to know just how much you mean to me. They're yours so you can read them whenever you want."

She sees at least ten journals lined up. She knows that he's been writing for years so she has to wonder what stretch of time this is.

"Those particular journals begin at the day we first officially met ten years ago until a little after our honeymoon." He answers her unasked question.

"No offense, but I don't think I want to read about your big love for Elena." She frowns when Stefan starts to chuckle. "What's so funny?"

"It's just...you said the exact same thing when I first gave them to you." He smiles as the memory fills his mind. "Anyway I knew that even then …which is why I made a point of bookmarking the entries that pertained to you."

Relieved, she picks up the first journal in the bunch and immediately finds the first entry.

October 4, 2009

I met Elena's friend Bonnie today. She's beautiful and is clearly a good friend, but I could tell when we touched that she saw something in me that frightened her. She is a Bennett witch so it makes sense that she would be wary of me. I'm disappointed because I would like to get to know her, but I suppose that means I will just have to try harder to be her friend.

Bonnie remembers that day very well. Before then she had been completely taken in by Stefan. Part of her had wanted him for herself, but when it became clear he was into Elena, she decided to be a good friend and help them get to know each other. She made a point of giving Stefan Elena's number, but when their fingers touched, she felt something that made her wary of him. At the time she hadn't known what it was, but now she knows that she felt death. She's gotten used to that feeling so it doesn't really bother her now, but she does remember that it changed the way she looked at him at the time.

October 12, 2009

I had dinner with Elena and Bonnie today in hopes of softening Bonnie's unease. I tried to bond with her by bringing up the Salem witches, but I'm not so sure it worked. I know she has every right to be cautious of me. I haven't always been the most trustworthy guy, but I really do hope that someday she will trust me enough to let me in.

She remembers that night and it did make her feel a little better about Stefan. Obviously it hadn't erased everything, but it was the first time she got to see that charming side of him. She flips through the journal until she finds the next highlighted entry.

October 20, 2009

Today I helped Bonnie when she was having trouble with her powers. She's going to be a very powerful witch someday if what I saw of her today was any indication. Already I'm seeing things that make me think she'll be even more powerful than Emily and Sheila combined. I'm not sure whether or not I'm proud or terrified of that particular thought.

A smile appears on her face, slightly touched that he seemed to believe in her even then. She reads through a couple of more entries before picking up another journal. A few flips through it and it's easy to see that the entries were written years after the journal she was just looking through.

May 23, 2015

Not much happened tonight. We defeated yet another enemy. The only upside was seeing Bonnie. She looked amazing tonight. She was as beautiful as ever, but I think what had the most impact on me was seeing how powerful she is. I've always known that she was a force to be reckoned with, but seeing her in her element was humbling, inspiring, and not to mention a turn on. There is something to be said about a woman that can bring several vampires to her knees with one look. I am very happy to write that for once I was not the recipient.

November 6, 2015

There's no doubting it any more. I'm in love with Bonnie. I've been fighting it for months, but now I'm certain that it's more than a crush. I love everything about this woman. Her insights, her hobbies… I could listen to her talk all day and never grow tired of hearing her voice. I've always been aware of her beauty, but now when I look at her I find myself in awe. Whenever she smiles it's as though my entire world has been brightened and when I look into her eyes I can't help but get lost in them.

Tonight we went bowling, her and Damon (I'm still a little surprised by their friendship) against me and Elena. Normally Damon and I battling over anything would bring out my competitive side, but tonight I found myself actually wanting him to win. Even if it meant I had to listen to his bragging, I would happily lose a hundred games just to see Bonnie happy.

Bonnie stares down at the page, surprised by the confession of love written down on paper. Before she could rationalize hearing Stefan say he loves her, but actually seeing it written down in Stefan's journals. The same journals that he's been writing in for over a hundred years is a somewhat overwhelming. She stiffens when she looks up she sees Stefan standing in the doorway staring at her. "You're staring."

"I am." He agrees with a nod.

It's only a look, but Bonnie is still filled with awareness. She can feel the love he has for her, the attraction he has, and she has to admit that it's very overwhelming. Flustered, Bonnie asks, "Do you really find me that interesting?"

"I could look at you all day and never grow bored," He says earnestly, reminding her of what he wrote in his journal before he continues speaking again. "but I can sense that you are kind of overwhelmed right now and need some time alone so I'm going to hang out with Damon. I'll see you in a little while." He smiles at her one more time as he leaves the room. She listens for his footsteps as he rushes down the stairs and the sound of the front door closing before turning back to the journal.

For the next couple of hours she continues to look through the journals, stopping when she gets to certain relationship milestones. She swoons when he describes their first kiss, blushes as she reads about the first time they made love, feels excitement when she reads about his marriage proposal. Yet it's the way he writes about their wedding that has her practically falling in love with him.

"May 8, 2018

I'm a married man. The vampire that was once called the ripper is someone's husband and I couldn't be happier. Bonnie is asleep right now so I thought this would be the best time to write down my thoughts. The wedding was amazing, seeing her in that dress for the first time is something I will never forget. She was breathtaking and as she was walking toward me I felt my heart pounding. I was so excited and eager to become her husband that I'm a little surprised I actually made through the ceremony without embarrassing myself. The reception was just as amazing, we danced and when I held her in my arms I felt at peace. We had a lot of fun, but I know Elena and Caroline were ready to kill us for disappearing in the middle of it. I can't say I regret it because I needed to be alone with Bonnie and my wife apparently felt the same way. After being turned into a vampire marriage was something I assumed would never happen for me, but, that all changed once I fell in love with her. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams and I am so grateful she feels the same way.

The door opens and closes downstairs and it's obvious that Stefan's back from speaking with Damon. Bonnie however doesn't move, too engrossed in her reading to put the journal down. Instead she flips to the next entry and is surprised when it skips several days.

May 19, 2018

I know I haven't written in here in more than a week, not something that's typical of me, but I've just been so happy with Bonnie that I haven't had the time. We're still on our honeymoon. It's amazing how

Bonnie looks up at Stefan just as he makes his way inside the room and gives him a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" Stefan asks, slightly worried. After spending some time with Damon, he returned to the loft and realized right away that Bonnie had never moved from the spot she'd been in before he left.

"Nothing, it's just … this journal entry…you stopped mid sentence."

He glances down at his journal and smiles goofily when he sees the date of the entry. "Oh, you kind of distracted me." His demeanor indicates just how she distracted him. "We spent the rest of our honeymoon occupied."

Bonnie looks away as heat starts to fill her cheeks. She is unable to stop images of her and Stefan together from flooding her mind. It's definitely time for a subject change, "So that was the last entry."

Stefan smirks a little, happy to see the blush on his wife's face. "Yeah I've kind of slacked off a little. I've just been so happy that the journal has been the last thing on my mind." He clears his throat. "So…I know you must be hungry. Why don't I take you to lunch? To one of our favorite places?"

Almost on cue her stomach growls loudly and she glances down at it before looking up. "Well I guess you know my answer." She jokes, feeling a flood of warmth when Stefan laughs. Spending some time with him is probably a good idea. Not just because it might help her memories return, but also because it could serve as a way of getting to know the Stefan she apparently fell in love with.

-X-

Two weeks later

Bonnie groans painfully as another unbearable wave of arousal fills her body. It's been this way since she woke up a half hour ago. At first she assumed that it was just because of the amount of time she's been spending with Stefan lately. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't attracted to this Stefan. He's funny, sweet, charming, not to mention that muscular body and chiseled face.

So of course this isn't the first time she's felt arousal, but what she's feeling right now is almost painful. It feels as though she could crawl out of her skin and when she tried to take care of it herself, it made things worse. She stiffens when the door opens and Stefan walks into the room, groaning when she gets a look at the vampire. Her pussy clenches as she takes in his towel-clad frame. It's obvious from his slightly damp hair that he just got out of the shower.

"What's wrong?" She asks when she sees the slightly troubled look on his face.

"I think I should be asking you that question," he gives her a pointed look.

"You know?" Bonnie flushes in embarrassment.

He nods "I can always smell you. I can always tell when you're aroused just like you usually always know when I'm aroused. But this…this is different," he frowns sadly.

"I don't understand …why is this so different?"

"What you're feeling right now is some kind of side-effect from after your resurrection. I guess you could call it a heat cycle because your body becomes overwhelmed with a need to mate."

"But …why?" She struggles to get the question out.

"We're not sure why it happens. I just know that every month like clockwork you get aroused like you are now and feel overwhelmed with need to find relief. He pauses as he thinks about his next words.

"What is it?" she sits up after sensing the tension coming from him.

"You obviously don't have to this is if you don't want to…. but I can take the edge off for you. Make it easier for you to deal with this."

Just the thought of him siding inside of her right now has her growing wetter and more aroused, but she knows that she isn't ready to cross that threshold yet. Especially when they haven't even shared a kiss at this point. "I don't think us having sex would be a good idea," she says, ignoring her body's protests.

"I know," he nods before grinning slyly "but there are other ways to give you relief. I can get you off using only my mouth."

Those words send even more pleasure to her nerve endings and she decides to take him up on the offer. "I want you to help me."

"Are you sure?" he asks just to be certain.

"Yes," she says despite the nervousness she suddenly feels at the idea of him seeing her naked.

"Okay," he nods and unknots his towel. It falls to the ground, leaving him completely naked.

Bonnie gasps in surprise and blushes at the sight of his impressive body. She's seen him in only a towel quite a few times in the last couple of weeks, but nothing could prepare her for this.

"I figured you'd be more comfortable if you weren't the only exposed one." He shrugs and Bonnie finds herself warmed by his consideration.

"Just lie back and relax," Stefan says quietly as he climbs onto the bed.

She watches with wide eyes as Stefan drags her panties down her legs and tosses them behind him before kneeling between them. She thinks he's going to dive right in, but he doesn't. Instead he runs his hands up her bare legs. It feels amazing.

He lifts her night gown up slightly and scoots up to press a kiss to her stomach. He moves his mouth across the corded muscles there before moving lower to dip his tongue into her bellybutton.

After a few more swirls of his tongue, Stefan looks up and is not surprised to find Bonnie watching him intently. He smiles softly before sliding his hands between her legs and uses his thumbs to open her up. She smells heavenly like she always does.

Bonnie shivers in pleasure at the growl that escapes his lips when he inhales her scent. She always figured the sound of a vampire growling would frighten her, but it or at least Stefan's growling actually turns her on. She waits anxiously for him to lower his mouth to her and finally after what seems like a lifetime he does, licking along her slit before flicking at her clit.

"St-Stefan!" She moans as he laps at her folds. Part of her can't believe that this is actually happening. That Stefan's head is between her legs while he pleasures her with his mouth. If she's honest, it's something she's fanaticized about when she first met him, so to have it actually happen is kind of mind blowing.

"Mmmh," Stefan groans as he tastes her. He loves pleasuring Bonnie like this. He was in heaven the first time he did this and it's no different this time. His erection is painfully hard, but he ignores it. This is about giving Bonnie what she needs. He focuses on her clit, wrapping his tongue around it until it hardens.

Bonnie writhes and moans as he his tongue thrusts in and out of her, pulling more and more arousal from her body. He repeats this several times until she feels her body tense and she spirals into an intense orgasm. She floods him with her come and she's surprised as well as turned on when Stefan starts gobble it up the way she's seen him drink blood.

Once he's licked up the last of her come Stefan pulls back and immediately seeks out Bonnie's eyes.

Bonnie's eyes slowly open and her womb clenches when she sees Stefan wipe some her arousal from his face. This isn't the first time she's had a guy's mouth on her, but it is the first time it's happened she actually believes the guy actually enjoyed doing it. Usually they are expecting her to reciprocate.

"Are you feeling more relaxed now?" Stefan asks once she's fully aware.

"Yeah…thank you," She lets out a satisfied sigh, happy that her overpowering arousal from earlier has faded. She's still aroused of course, but it's manageable now.

"You don't have to thank me. I only did what I enjoy." He gently caresses her cheek with two of his fingers before he climbs out of bed.

"Wait!" Bonnie stops him when she realizes that he plans on leaving the room. "What about you?" Bonnie blushes as she glances down at his erect penis.

"I'll deal with it alone," he says with a shrug. "Like I said before this was for you. Besides we both know you're not ready for us to go any further and I respect that."

Bonnie watches as he picks up his towel and rewraps it around his waist before leaving the room. The moment he's gone, she collapses back on the bed and covers her face with her hands as she thinks about what just happened.

A naked and aroused Stefan Salvatore just gave her orgasm using his mouth and it was the most intense thing she has ever felt. Even now her body is trembling with aftershocks. The fact that Stefan gave her the orgasm without expecting her to reciprocate makes her want more; so much that there is a part of her that wants to tell him that she changed her mind about them having sex.

Yet she knows that he would still refuse because he's made a point of taking things slow for her sake. He's been very patient and understanding about their situation and while her head is thankful, her body is wishing that he wasn't so noble.