Just a random compilation of slice of life moments from our favorite characters. Each chapter will most likely not connect with each other. Keyword 'Most'.

Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 1: And thus, Hikigaya Hachiman regrets

Regret and Expectation goes hand in hand.

Source: Me

For example, in this typical but hypothetical scenario; a teenage high school boy fell in love with a girl who was in his class. One day he decided on his ancestors' good names(Which there aren't many of) to come clean about his feelings for the girl.

It went something like this.

"K-chan, ever since I've laid eyes on you; I've been captivated." He would do something dramatic like a bow before continuing. "That's why, please go out with me!"

Delving deep into his mind, he would expect her response to be "Of course H-kun! I would gladly go out with you!"

However, life is like a game based solely on RNG[1] so an expected response wouldn't even be real. So what was her real response?"I'm sorry, H-kun. I would rather be friend with you." She said those words while looking off to the side. Talk about not being genuine.

In short, by expecting something; H-kun regretted everything.

Why was I reminded about that particular scenario? Well, a certain Chuu-ni has once again instigated a painful torture of words and humiliation upon himself.

Courtesy of Yukinoshita inc. (And me, to some extent)

"So what does he want this time?" Yukinoshita asked, daintily sipping her tea like the princess she is.

"He wants us to read his new manuscript and give him feedback, just like last time?" Maybe I shouldn't have said that. As annoying as Zaimokuza is, he is still needed for his help in the future and giving him depression is going to ruin that little plan.

"I already thought he learned his lessons last time we did this."

Pff, learned his lessons? Zaimokuza is a masochist, through and through.

Instead of voicing my thoughts, I decided to voice out a...nicer alternative. "Let's just give him a chance. It'll probably still suck but you know..."

Sighing loudly, Yukinoshita reluctantly nodded; prompting us, the club members, to get into action.

"Zaimokuza." The man in question almost stood up from his seat. "Where's the manuscript?"

"Right here."

He pulled out a medium sized stack of papers out of overly large trench coat. I swear, someday he'll go out in that and get arrested on suspicion of being a drug dealer.

I received the papers in my hand and looked through it rapidly. Just like last time, I already spotted a couple of mistakes on the first page but I paid it no heed as I continued. He made three pages of story for each of us and being the good vice-president of the club; I separated them into stacks and handed them to Yukinoshita, who in turn, handed the other one to Yuigahama.

"Zaimokuza-kun, from what I can see; the content of this manuscript is miniscule therefore it wouldn't take long before we can come up with some feedback."

Zaimokuza nodded nervously, his body shaking with anxiety. Honestly, how is this guy going to deal with all the critics; considering that he became an author in the first place.

Whatever.

Slowly and methodically as the ticking clock over our head, everyone in the room beside the author himself read the…poorly written piece of work that is called a 'manuscript'.

Oh boy, I wondered what words Yukinoshita will use to destroy Zaimokuza's dreams of becoming a writer…again.

I glanced over to Yukinoshita who appeared to be absorbed into the manuscript. I turned my head and glanced over to Yuigahama who appeared to be distraught at the words used in the story.

The only one who I haven't glanced at yet is Zaimokuza who was a sweating wreck, his hands on his shaking knees.

The sound of papers shuffling caught all our attention and the perpetrator was none other than Yukinoshita, who was about to make Zaimokuza regret his decision with every fiber of his body.

"Zaimokuza-kun."

"Yes!" He shouted.

"I could see that this story is definitely an improvement from the last one." Zaimokuza was smiling now. His hope was probably skyrocketing right now.

This was the most effective way of crushing someone's dream. Get their hopes up to starry heights, only to shoot it back down with a missile launcher.

Yukinoshita Yukino is one crafty woman.

"Your spelling is still lacking as always. The plot is easily predicted if a mentally sane person thinks about it." Zaimokuza grabbed his already weakened heart as Yukinoshita's icy onslaught began.

"First off, the main character is bland. You gave him way too many abilities that there would be no character development at all."

"B-But it's for the readers to easily insert themselves…"

"This is a work of literature, not an escape for people who are insecure about themselves." Once again, he clutched his chest.

"And what's with this scene? The hero arrived at his home, only to be greeted by the female protagonist cladded in nothing but an apron is nothing short of disgusting your female audiences."

"I-It's because being greeted by a girl in a naked apron is every boys' dream!"

You were wrong, Zaimokuza. Being in that scenario will be great for a Chuu-ni like you but imagine this. You are alone in a house with no one except a girl in a naked apron. Sure, this is a desirable situation for you to be in but what if…

-Your sister or worse, your parents came home and saw the scene. You know what will happen next.

-A neighbor spotted the scene through a convenient window and called the police and they will charge you for sexual harassment.

Therefore, I declared that naked apron would be the worst dream of an adolescent boy.

"With this manuscript, I would be extremely surprised if you even make it as an author. My thoughts on your future would be a NEET who still lives in his parent's house who is also delusional enough to believe that his pillow is supposed to be his wife."

Shots fired.

"B-But…"

"I also suggest that you pick up your language class' notes or better, a dictionary so you can actually spell basic words that even third graders would know."

Status: Rekt.

"This is just a rough draft though…" Zaimokuza, for the love of every Japanese gods, please just stop replying and take in the humiliation like a man.

"The fact that you passed the language class but don't even have the simplest idea on how to use what you learned showed me that Hikigaya-kun's future is 10 times more brighter than yours. And that's saying something."

…Did I just get Yukino'ed?

While most people would jump for a chance to be praised by the one and only Ice Queen (Scratch that, no one would even want to interact with her), there was always a casual insult behind every single one of her words.

Back to the point, it seemed that the Chuu-ni wasn't doing so well. Rolling on the floor, sobbing and clutching his chest. Well…. It also seemed that he got Yukino'ed harder than me.

"H-Hachiman! Surely; you, my long time comrade, would have something positive to say!" said Zaimokuza with one of those sad dogs look.

As if that would work on me.

Now this scenario was like one in a Dating sim game. Where your response would either make or break the relationship you had with your companion.

Except, instead of getting a cute girlfriend; you're merely comforting a delusional Chuu-ni.

I could simply tell him the truth about his writing, that it sucked but that would come off as extremely rude and would hinder any favors that I would require his help.

I could tell him that it was well written but then, I am not the best actor so it would come off as rude again.

So…what does a man with no response do? Easy.

"Well…Yuigahama, what do you think about it?"

The pinked hair girl jumped in her seat as if not expecting her name to be called at all. Sheesh, you could at least pretend to be interested in our current activity.

"Wait wait! I still got two more pages left!" said Yuigahama as she fumbled around with her stacks of paper.

"Then just tell me what you think of the first page!" Zaimokuza was desperate now if he wanted Yuigahama non-existent literary opinions. Well, I was a bit to blame, seeing that I pushed his attention on Yuigahama in the first place.

"I think…it was nice that you know more words than the last time, I think?" What a generic response. It was like one of those responses you would expect from an NPC in a game.

Even though there was a tint of insult in there, Zaimokuza was more than happy to express his feelings.

Grabbing Yuigahama's hands, he brought his face close into hers. "Yuigahama-san! I applaud you for recognizing a work of art only on its first page!"

I think we could give an award to Zaimokuza for being the most delusional person on Earth. If only we could.

And so ended our little discussion (Even though it's just Yukinoshita firing icy bullets at Zaimokuza). Zaimokuza was stupidly happy. Happy but still stupid.

When Zaimokuza entered the room for our honest opinions, he expected to get positive responses. Particularly from Yukinoshita.

He got shot down by a blizzard.

However; it was the unlikely hero, Yuigahama Yui, who came to our not-so-beloved Chuu-ni's rescue. With just a generic response, she made Zaimokuza super-charged with energy that could probably power the entirety of Chiba.

So sometimes, Life's RNG actually help you. In short, Zaimokuza Yoshiteru expected something and he regretted nothing.

Poor H-kun, if only he made a prayer to the RNGesus[2] before confessing.

After a rather loud farewell from Zaimokuza, who claimed to return with an even better manuscript (Seriously, did he enjoy getting shot down by Yukinoshita that much?), we three club members returned to what we were doing before.

Yukinoshita sipping tea and reading a book.

Yuigahama was trying to chat it up with Yukinoshita.

I…was at the far end of the table, minding my own business.

It was a quiet, normal evening in the tea scented room of the Service Club. Nothing was out of place, no clients or requests, only three friends enjoying each other's company.

…Well, two friends and one acquaintance.

The calm atmosphere went on for a solid 5 minutes (Which I timed by glancing at the clock) before the loud, obnoxiously cheerful voice of Yuigahama pierced through the room.

"Uh, so Hikki. Is what Zaimokuza saying, like, true?"

"He said a lot of things. You need to be more specific." What a vague question from a girl who was likely getting into other people's business.

"Umm, y'know…" Yuigahama twiddled her thumb nervously. "Is naked apron, like, the dream of every boys?"

What the hell are you asking, Yuigahama?! To a normal man, this would seem like a Rom-com scene where the boy explained to the girl about his awkward dream that would seem impossible only for the girl to end up doing it anyway.

But alas, I am not most man nor is this a Rom-com. I am Hikigaya Hachiman and this is the real world. Such fantasies can't simply exist!

However, before I could even reply, the Ice Queen of Sobu high spoke up. "Yuigahama-san, I would advise you to not implant any more dirty thoughts into Hikigaya-kun's head."

She closed the book that she was reading before continuing. "He already has an insurmountable tendency to generate disgusting thoughts."

"Oi, I didn't even answer her yet."

"What your response might be, it would still be disgusting." Yukinoshita replied without even taking a glance at me.

"Tch. Anyway…" I coughed to clear up the tension. "To answer your question, Yuigahama. Imagine what would happen if you happen to see an attractive girl in nothing but an apron."

"I…would…uh, sorry! I can't really think up for anything."

"Okay then…Think," I pointed my finger at her. "Of Yukinoshita in nothing but an apron then. What do you think will happen?"

"E-Eh?! But I-."

For the second time of the day, the Ice Queen of Sobu high interrupted another person.

"Yuigahama-san, I believed this is why you shouldn't implant any dirty thoughts into Hikigaya-kun." said Yukinoshita as she slammed her book on the table.

"Sorry, Yukinon."

Hmph, think you could one up me? I'll show you.

Bringing my hand up to my chin, I began to assume to pose of the Thinker. "Well, you do have a point. With a chest like yours, even with a naked apron; a reaction out of a boy would be a scientific breakthrough the likes the scientific community will never see before."

"That's ironic, considering you are a sis-con." She smirked. A disgusting sight.

Sis-con? Me? That's unthinkable. A real brother would never desire anything other than sisterly love and affection from said sister. To desire more than that would be disgusting and a shame to all the brothers of the world.

"Oi, I'm not like that. I love my little sister, true, but I aspire to protect that innocent cuteness of her; not take it away!" Calm down me, you still have an insult battle to attend to.

"Anyway, it's also ironic that you link me being a good brother to my preference of washboard chest." I assumed the Thinker pose once more. "Considering my sister is still growing and grow she shall. She will probably be a mountain while you…"

I looked at her eyes. That was the look I wanted to see.

"Will just be a bump in the road."

With just one statement, the tension in the Service Club room became so thick; you could cut it with a knife. Yukinoshita's eyes wore a permanent glare to it, making her look like the Grudge.[3]

I smirked. All according to plan.

Hikigaya Hachiman-1, Yukinoshita Yukino-0

"C'mon guys, can't we be, like, chilled for once? Hehe…" Yuigahama attempted to douse the fire that was the barrage of insults between us two.

"I know! Hikki, if Yukinon did show up to my house wearing nothing but an apron, I would tell her she look beautiful!" She pondered for a moment before continuing, "But I would tell her to put some clothes on so that no one would get the wrong idea."

Wait, did you just think that scenario from a girl perspective? We should really petition to change Yuigahama Yui's name to Yurigahama Yui.

"Yuigahama-san, while I am impressed by the answer you are able to give; there is no way on this planet that I would wear such a lewd thing just to receive affection."

"Plus…" She eyed me like a cat would to a mouse. "I believe that forcing yourself to wear a naked apron shows that you have no pride and you have no rights to receive said affection if you're forced to such extremes."

"You know, some women are desperate." Hiratsuka-sensei came to mind. "But even if you were to wear a naked apron, the chance that someone is foolish enough to be in a relationship with you in the first place would be a mere 0.01 percent."

I expected another glare but I received a smirk instead. A counterattack!?

"Hikigaya-kun, I know you have a pathetic score in math but please…" Yukinoshita looked at me amusingly. "Don't just pull random numbers out of thin air."

I believed that I got Yukino'ed for the second time of the day.

Damn that girl. While my insults were small barrages that linked and connected to one another for an explosive finish, Yukinoshita's insult was a homing missile.

Hikigaya Hachiman-1, Yukinoshita Yukino-1

"And I also find it most ironic that despite your inability to create a relationship with someone and your currently non-existent math skills, you are berating me on not having any relationship with random numbers. That's hypocritic, don't you think?"

"Well, most of the populations in the world are hypocrites…" I tried to salvage what I can of my image.

"But you should try to maintain face while debating. If not, the other party and audiences might think you're just pulling random facts out of thin air. Just like you did with the numbers."

Another smirk.

I had to rephrase my earlier statement. While my insults were in small barrages that linked and connected to one another for an explosive finish, Yukinoshita's insults were in gigantic barrages of homing missiles.

Uugh, I could feel the insults scoreboard going up considerably for Yukinoshita.

Instead of lowering myself even further into the trap Yukinoshita had sprung, I settled for a disgruntled expression and turn my head the other way.

"What's wrong, Hikigaya-kun?" Even without looking, I could already see the smirk that adorned her face. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Isn't that your thing though? Cats are your fetish." I countered.

"I'll have you know that cats are not my fetish. They are simply adorable, lovable being that deserves my affection."

"Then you should also know the difference between affection of a brother for his sister and obsession of a brother for his sister."

"Oh trust me. I know the difference alright. You fall into the latter." said Yukinoshita, sipping that tea like a haughty princess.

"Why? Because you're ranked first in Literature class, you think you have authorities over words?"

With an amused look in her eyes, she replied. "Maybe that's the reason, Mr. Third."

An insult to the number three?!

"I'll have you know three is the greatest number there is! It is neither too high like one or two that you will get noticed or neither it is too low to ignore like four or five." I believed that was a well explained thought on how three is the best number there is.

"Hmph, that's a pathetic excuse for someone who hates working to reach the top of anything."

"I believed I said this before. 'To work is to lose'."

She stared at me so I stared right back. It was probably the most intense staring contest out of all the intense staring contests. We were sure nothing could break our concentration but our club mediator, Yuriga-Yuigahama, decided to break it up.

"Hey hey. Break it up you guys." Seriously, Yuigahama. Can't you see our intense staring contest?

"Y'know. When I think about it, just wearing an apron without the intent to cook is totally, like, weird; right?"

I don't think you're in the position to say that, Yuigahama. Naked apron is probably the only thing you'll be able to do with an apron after all.

"I can agree with that." said Yukinoshita.

"Hmph, considering your cooking skills; I wouldn't be surprised if naked apron is the only thing you can do with it." I decided to voice out my thoughts from earlier.

"H-Hikki!"

"While it is rude to think so, I must agree with his thoughts as well."

Wait, did Yukinoshita just agree with me? No no no, this wasn't possible. Yukinoshita Yukino was supposed to insult my ways of thinking with every living fibers of her body!

Did the Ice Queen finally melt?

"Yukinon! Not you too!"

I chuckled at Yuigahama's comedy act and Yukinoshita did too. It was normal in this place we call society to make fun of the lower ranking species. Wait… shouldn't that be me?

"Well, Yukinon would find some other useful ways to utilize an apron, right?"

"That is without a doubt, yes."

"Hikki. You better learn how to make your own food soon, 'kay? Or else, you'll be eating ramen every day."

"I'll have you know that in my total unbiased opinion, I make the most delicious instant ramen in Chiba." It was not the truth nor was it a lie, perfectly fine with me.

"Even though Yuigahama-san is not in the position to criticize you for your lack of culinary skills, I still agree with her." She swiped a lock of hair behind her ear. "Maybe your future would be like that Chuu-ni. A useless NEET in the lowest rung of the social ladder."

She just couldn't help but insult me for every living moments of my life, could she?

"And you'll be just like Hiratsuka-sensei. A woman with high stats but ultimately can't get a partner."

Another glare pierced through the air and right at me. Just the reaction I was expecting. I glared back at her, after all; the most intense staring contest in the history of intense staring contests wasn't over yet.

The tension once again went through the roof and thick as…the thickest thing in Chiba. Hey, I don't always have things in mind when I want to compare certain objects.

In any case, just like last time and being the good mediator she is, Yuigahama decided to risk her life in calming us down.

"Hehe….Hahaha!" The sound of cheerful laughter emanated through the room.

Yuigahama, you failed your job!

"What's so funny, Yuigahama-san?" Yukinoshita inquired on what could make the pink haired girl burst into an obnoxious laugh.

"I-It's just that…Hikki and you and me…." Oi oi, if you will choke on your own words if you keep stuttering like that. "All this a-arguing and fighting….it's somehow fun, y'know!"

Yukinoshita put an end to our staring contest so….that meant I won!

Hikigaya Hachiman-2 Yukinoshita Yukino- 1

Staring at the wall's clock, Yukinoshita courteously stood up and picked her bag up as she did so. "Hikigaya-kun, Yuigahama-san, it's time to go home."

And so we did, passing through the Service Club door.

The sun was setting as we arrived outside, the orange tint made this cruel world look a bit tolerable. I went over to the bike stalls quickly and took my bike. Walking through the gates, I was suddenly halted by a shout from behind.

"HIKKI!" shouted a voice that I recognized all too well.

I was going to turn around and do a generic greeting, like all good acquaintances do but that pink hair bimbo suddenly linked her arm with mine.

Dear gods of Chiba, I could feel the softness.

"You see, it's been a while so y'know I like to walk home with you…" The hell woman?! You're going to give a guy a heart attack with a phrase like that. Calm down me…this is reality, not a rom-com.

"With Yukinon."

Oooh, so that was the reason. I honestly thought my life had turned into a rom-com.

"Yuigahama-san, you did not wait for me."

"Sorry, Yukinon! I was catching up with Hikki here. Anyway, you want to walk home together?"

Looking apologetic but in a condescending way was Yukinoshita's specialty but her look right now was anything but condescending.

It was genuine.

"I apologize, Yuigahama-san. My class had a research project, as such; it would be wise of me to go complete it now."

Just like the sad dog look Zaimokuza gave me earlier this evening; it found it way on Yuigahama's face.

"My sister is sick so I have to go take care of her." It wasn't a lie nor was it the truth. Komachi said she wasn't feeling well.

"I see…."

My mind screamed at me to say 'Sorry' but the wall that I'd built up over the year wouldn't budge. I walked my bike the other way and Yukinoshita walked the other way too until Yuigahama's shout caught us off guard.

"Y'know! I totally had loads of fun today!"

I turned around and so did Yukinoshita. Disbelief laced her face before it softened into a gentle smile.

"I had fun too…Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya-kun."

"Well, I guess arguing with you is kind of fun." I wasn't prepared for this. No one could as no one would expect THE Yukinoshita Yukino to say that she had fun.

With me nonetheless.

"Umm, I hope we could do this again tomorrow!" Yuigahama shouted once more.

"I hope so too." said Yukinoshita as she walked off in the direction of her apartment.

"A-Ah, me too then." I had to admit. I did have fun. Maybe insulting each other was the kind of fun we need but it was just in disguise.

I walked my back further down into the direction of my home and as I looked back, the sad dog's look that once adorned Yuigahama's face was replaced by a cheerful smile.

It made me smile too. And I was sure somewhere out there, Yukinoshita was smiling too. In the end, I guessed that regret and expectation don't always go hands in hand as it all depends on who the goddess of luck was smiling on.

In short, I expected today to be crappy and insulting like every other days of the week but instead I didn't regret any moments of today.

In fact, I enjoyed it.

[1]: Random Number Generator. A term used to describe luck in games.

[2]: RNG+Jesus: God of RNG.

[3]: Japanese ghost that had horrible case of bed-head.

Anyway...That's all for now. If I made any grammatical mistakes(English is my second language), plot holes etc. Do let me know.

Edit: I changed the part where Zaimokuza asked for help with feedback from 'KyonxHaruhi' so that it fits his personality more. As for why some character are OOC or why 8man's narration is too happy, it's due to my trying to make the story of Oregairu less serious and as the story title suggest ,a little of rom-com is involved.