note: so this went from a small idea to a giant ... thing. it is a nonlinear narrative, written as a series of scenes rather than a singular, cohesive plot. all the irritation of an experimental structure without the fun of footnotes and different font colors.

Dog. Boar. Ram.

"Henge!"

In an instant she was taller, bigger and certainly bustier. Her target was Jiraiya and Sakura felt that it was necessary to use a modified version of Naruto's sexy-no-jutsu for ultimate success. Her transformation didn't include flirtatious clouds, but she now had all the necessary bounciness required to get any old pervert's attention.

Sakura left the narrow alleyway she had ducked into, doing her best to fix her now awkward center of balance as she ambled toward the civilian marketplace. Jiraiya was there now, hosting a book signing and she didn't think she would get a more perfect opportunity to approach him. She had a copy of Icha Icha Paradise with her, hastily purchased earlier that week once she gotten wind of his book tour.

Ignoring the wolf-whistles from a construction crew across the street, she entered the bookstore and affected an excited look as she looked around the small space. A middle-aged man approached her in greeting.

"Welcome, miss! Can I help you find anything?"

"Ah, well, I had heard there was a special book signing happening here today ..." Sakura bit her lip nervously, hoping she had timed it correctly.

"Oh, you're here for Jiraiya-san! You're in luck, he was just about to pack up. I'm sure he wouldn't mind one more book." With this, the shop owner directed her to the far corner of the building, where Jiraiya was nearly napping against a table filled with copies his newest book.

"Jiraiya-san! You have a fan waiting for you!" He twitched and snorted himself awake. Sakura internally grinned.

It's a good thing I have seen in him action or I would never believe he was one of the Sannin.

She allowed herself to smile widely and leaned forward over the table to shake his hand in both of hers, trying to restrain her giggles as she saw his gaze zero in on her prodigious cleavage.

Men. It's like taking candy from a baby.

"Jiraiya-sama, it is such an honor to meet you! Icha Icha Paradise has been my number one favorite book since it was published. I would love for you to sign my copy."

He blinked in surprise at her enthusiasm. "A-ah? Really? I don't think I've met a prettier fan of my work. What's your name, sweetheart?"

She forced herself to giggle coquettishly. "You can call me Misaki, Jiraiya-sama." She handed him the book, which had been carefully broken in to preserve her cover of his biggest fan. Sakura was nothing if not thorough in everything she did. She even managed to splash a few tear stains on pages with the saddest scenes.

"Misaki-chan. What a beautiful name for a beautiful young lady!" He scribbed his signature on the first page with with a large, looping hand. "You wouldn't be interested in telling me all about your favorite parts of the book over tea, would you? A good author is always interested in feedback from dedicated fans ..." Jiraiya waggled his eyebrows at her in an exaggerated leer and it was all she could do not to burst out laughing.

He's done all the hard work for me - I never thought it would be so easy to get him alone!

"Oh! Would that really be possible? I wouldn't want to impose. I'm sure you must be so busy," she said, trying to look uncertain.

He leaned back against the table and smiled widely at her. "I was just about to leave, Misaki-chan. It's only my good fortune that such a lovely companion would come along at just the right time." Sakura felt a quick jolt of fear at his words - did he suspect? She peered at his face under her henge'd bangs and saw only sincerity (and lust) written there. Still, she would proceed with as much caution as she could.

"In that case, I accept. Where would you like to go? There's a good teahouse in this neighborhood, not too far from here ..." She glanced at the shop owner who was now bustling around trying valiantly to pretend that he wasn't eavesdropping.

Ah, village gossip. New scoop, Jiraiya hit on a woman and it actually worked!

"Lead on, my beautiful blossom. I am at your disposal." He stood and held out first her book and then his arm for her. She gingerly took it, making sure to lean in closely and accidentally brush her breast against his bicep. She could feel his muscles tense and she hoped it was only because of the sensation and not because he felt that there was anything amiss.

They left the bookshop behind, strolling through the streets as she casually steered him toward a very discreet teashop she had scoped out earlier in the week. Sakura was not a woman who cared for tea ceremony, but she was a talented shinobi who understood the necessity for hiding in plain sight. This particular shop was nicely hidden between two residential buildings and the service was deferential and polite.

She just hoped it would help her avoid a confrontation once she dropped her intel right into Jiraiya's lap.