Forbearance:
[fawr-bair-uh ns]
noun
The act of forbearing; 1. to refrain or abstain from; desist from. 2. to keep back; withhold.

Longer Summary:
Being reborn into a fictional world should not had happened, it should had been downright impossible. With the knowledge of what was to come in this particular time frame, there was no way in hell I was going to interfere. Of course that is easier said than done when the main people you want to avoid interacting with are the very ones you are forced to meet – with the exception of one, mostly out of pity than anything. Hopefully, that won't change anything, right?

Author's Note:
After being pestered by plot bunnies who were screeching for me to write, I finally gave in and here's the result :)
Also, a thanks goes out to Tamani for helping me out at the beginning!

•●•

[ Prologue ]

There is no death, only a change of worlds.

- Chief Seattle

•●•

There's something to be said about life, you see.

When you really think about it, life is an unmeasurable race that once you reach the finish line – that's it. Here's your prize. Goodbye, you're dead. It can span decades after decades or last no more than a minute depending on the circumstances. From the very moment you take your first breath, you begin that race to the inevitable – death.

Should death be something of a surprise? Doesn't it always come as something of a shock? Maybe not the how – but certainly the when? Heart patients, cancer patients in daily agonizing pain who pray for death, must finally be somewhat surprised when it actually comes.

Even if it comes... as relief.

Oh the irony once you face the real thing.

Goes back to 'easier said than done' mantra people spout whenever a something is harder than expected.

In my case, to swallow.

It's not to say I didn't enjoy my life, because there were definitely moments that made them worth it. Such as finding new books to read, new shows to watch and doing something that you're quite proud of despite not being widely recognizable, especially from those that should had acknowledge it in the first place. If lives were graded on productivity from using your inborn talents to help yourself and/or humanity, I would had surely received a bold F for a grade. Good thing we didn't receive such grades because, frankly, life was pretty unfair to begin with.

I would not had shared this with the people I knew, so I pretty much reserved my vents of despair to a little corner in the world wide web – a precious thing us millenials took advantage of. Online, we were anonymous and so as long as you didn't put out your whole personal information out there, you'd remained anonymous. It had, honestly, soothed my soul – if you will – by expressing myself in a way I would not had been able to do where I to do it vocally.

I suppose in retrospect, it wasn't that life itself was at fault for my personal choices.

It had given me what it wanted and I should had been braved enough to handle it in one way or another, but of course my twenty-three year old self saw it differently. I was capable of doing it, all right. I was a healthy person in the sense that I had no handicaps – emotional, perhaps – but nothing that physically hindered my growth. I was plainly a coward when it came to taking matters into my own hands.

Yes, I admit it.

What if I didn't have the best parents? A stable home or a support system to guide me through my high school years? While painful that my parents weren't as attentive on those shining moments in my life, I had survived their absence; I graduated with honors and what a satisfying feeling it was, despite the majority of my time spent in the school library, because home was not the best place to be when it came to studying.

Despite all this, I ended up being a pretty decent person, a full time college student with a part-time job too boot. While nothing on the grand scale, it was something – right?

So imagine my surprise when it actually happened.

My death, I meant.

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I could pinpoint the moment when everything came to a dramatic end.

Yup, the end.

The end of my life.

Pretty dramatic, huh?

As it had been with the majority of my existence, my death was in no way special. Which, I supposed, I should had been grateful with considering the alternatives. Amazingly, there were so many ways a person could perish in a ridiculous death – not to mention those painful ones, like being eaten while alive. Not a pretty sight and certainly not a peaceful death.

A peaceful death should be two things: Fast and Painless.

I definitely did not get a peaceful death... didn't die in my sleep or anything or I would not been conscious enough to word those last words that run through your mind. I'll get to that in a moment. My death was quite average and if you really looked into the circumstances that led to it, I will even say it was partly my fault. Which I now found pretty ironic considering how I – well, there's no real reason to go there. No point of thinking of what you once were but I digress.

It had been like any other normal day.

The sun was out, a beautiful light blue sky without a cloud in sight, a slight breeze. Traffic on the streets. Feet traffic on the sidewalk. The occasional pet walking on a leash. It was your typical California setting.

On this particular day, I had decided to drop of a book that wouldn't be due for another week at the library. Being a stickler for rules as I found them the best way to lead a much less confrontational life, I had decided to stop by the library before going to the convenience store across the street. As the library was located in the downtown area, there were always cars running back and forth. Thankfully, I wasn't much of a driver – in fact, never drove a car – , so I became one of many who were walking down the gray, city sidewalks. To prevent myself from getting bored as I walked and feeling out of place – mostly caused by the city's ambiance – , I always had my earphones on as I listened to my music.

Now I'm sure my fate would had been quite different had I decided not to visit the store for a snack or – better yet, to actually, continue my streak of following common sense. Such as observing your surroundings. All I remembered was looking down at my phone, when I stepped off the sidewalk, believing the light had turned that allowed pedestrians to walk across to the other side.

The next moment, I felt a sudden, excruciating pain shoot right across my chest, literally and forcefully expelling the air I had in my lungs. For the briefest of moments, my body felt weightless, my dark hair lose from its binding and seeming to float aimlessly around my head before another excruciating pain shot through my back that ran up to my head; with my tongue coming in between my teeth, the sudden jerking force clamped my jaws together once my head crashed onto the hard surface. One sensation after another and all of a sudden my world had gone deathly quiet.

This was it.

I knew right at that moment as my eyes suddenly blurred, my moment had arrived. Either my body was slowly shutting down its functions, or it could no longer tolerate the shock that it had gone through – but, everything had gone numb. I could not move and much less be able to breath as a much-too warm liquid was pouring down my throat.

I was drowning in my own blood.

It was not seconds, but milliseconds that took for my last worldly thoughts to cross my conscious being.

No, not yet... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

A darkness slowly crept around what was left of my sight; I was scared, oh god, was I scared as the last thing I saw of this world was the darkness that covered me whole.

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….and now I'm here.

Not quite sure where here is – Hell? Heaven? Nothingness?

No, it could not be the latter or I would not be able to have these thoughts or recall those events in my life I had recounted. Clearly, there's an after life of sorts – or at least a waiting room of some kind that allowed me to remembered those previous events. Honestly, I had no idea how I went from being a broken body laying on the cold floor to a place where I felt... at ease. Had no idea what happened in the in-between of those two moments. I don't remember seeing a bright tunnel that would lead me to the next world.

Was this the next world?

Could not wrap my head around the idea that it could be.

That after a long life – or short in my case – we would end up in a place that's just not existential. I wondered if having a lack of belief in a spiritual power while alive had anything to do with where I was now. Because if that were to be the case – that would really suck it had landed me in nowhere.

Quite literally.

Because where I was, time ceased to exist. There was no such thing as "time" in the afterlife... or wherever I was. There was no twenty-four hours, three-hundred sixty five days out of the year to show you how alive you were. Because – that's right, time ceased to exist here.

Whatever this was, clearly no religion in the world had it right when it came to the idea of the afterlife...

If Icould call it that.

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Amazing what a blink of an eye can do – it could really change your perspective.

Better yet, your location.

In one blink, I was in what I considered to be a waiting room of nothingness. In the next, I was somewhere else.

Somewhere else where a darkness ruled my sight.

Granted, I couldn't see much but then again – what was there to see? Yet, this was different... this darkness that surrounded me was different. There was nothing threatening about it. In fact, this was quite peaceful.

A darkness that was quite peaceful – something akin to what the afterlife should be, right?

Then there was the warmth...

How long could it had been if the first thing I sensed was the warmth that surrounded me? How long had it been since I felt anything, really? Had it really been that long? Oh, it did not matter. What mattered was how it surrounded me completely and wonderfully so. It was a clear signal I had my body back; I could sense my arms, my legs, my everything. What should had unnerved me but didn't was the fact that it was both weightless and I really couldn't do much with it. Strangely enough, there was these slight, cold lingering sensations at the edge of my fingertips.

Wherever I was, it was enough of a comfort since the majority of my time I'd be in a deep sleep. Plus, the sound of what could only be my heartbeat helped – listening to its deep, strong beats that surrounded me along with the darkness was what lulled me to my slumber. It was a very pleasant thing to listen to. There was no way for me to confirm it but I knew, without a doubt, that I was safe but most importantly – I was loved here.

Here – wherever that was.

Like the first time I realized of the warm darkness that surrounded me, I could also sensed the love. It was a very strong feeling, one I never had sensed before while alive. I could not tell you how I felt it or even the why but it was there. It was such a beautiful feeling that I was receiving, and while I had no idea from where it was coming from or from whom – perhaps an angel? – it did not matter.

One thing for certain, I would not mind being stuck here forever.

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You would think after perishing from your old life, all your former thoughts and beliefs would disappear as well. After all, it was part of who you were once – it shouldn't in no way or form be carried over.

Yet...

I should had known this was not meant to last.

That once comfortable and safe darkness that I cherished so much had suddenly become terrifyingly uncomfortable and dangerous. My little corner that I had come to think of my little heaven had suddenly and swiftly disappeared when I felt – what I could only describe as – walls starting to close on me.

I was literally being squished alive.

Oh GOD.

Just as sudden, there was a flash of bright light.

So accustomed I had become of the darkness that had surrounded me for an unmeasurable amount of time, the sudden sharp brightness of the light literally stung my eyes. Even as I instinctively closed them, it was not enough to prevent the luminescence from penetrating through my eyelids. Then there was the warmth, the warmth that I had grown so used to was gone only to be replaced by a frigid coldness that surrounded my whole body – it was to the point where I could literally feel my body tremble from the drastic change of temperature.

I was terrified, scared of my new bizarre environment and traumatized at the loss of my old one. The sudden sensations of something monstrously large taking hold of me only added to my intense fear of what was already happening.

I felt so terribly helpless.

All I could do was cry.

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It would take me a while to figure out where I was but when it happened, it would be an understatement to say that it had shocked me. Being reborn is one thing – being reincarnated into a fictional world? Well, it goes without saying the shock had taken my innocence away.

Next Chapter - Intro Arc: Babe

Note:
To clear something up, the cliffhanger isn't necessarily the "oh shit, am I really here?!" moment. This is just blatant foreshadowing

Also, the thought of having a second chance sounds enticing as it offers you a chance to do things differently, but what about the personality? Does it get carried over or does it automatically change to fit your new life? Either way, our personality is what makes you, well, you. So if you wanted to do things differently, you would need to change aspects of yourself to get that change, right? It's quite a rhetorical question, but fundamental to the OC of my story. While there wasn't really that much "action" going on with this chapter, I did try to show you her personality – did you catch it?

If you made it this far, thank you for reading!