A/N: Yay! Destiel in the Shrek universe! Who'd have thought?! This took me so long to write and edit, but it was so fun hehe guilty pleasure. If you haven't already, I'd suggest watching Shrek 1 before reading this, even though it doesn't really follow that structure per say, but, well, sort of does in a more adult way... P.S. there's donkey and puss in boots characters too that come along! :)

Here are the trigger warnings, just in case: explicit smut, swearing, vivid description of consensual prostitution, panic attacks, loss of loved ones and coping, nightmares, self-loathing, minor battle violence, and mcd sort of? Enjoy!

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

― G.K Chesterton

Castiel stared out the nicely polished stain glass of his window. He could see the village below the castle, and the townspeople milling around, talking, interacting, and shopping.

Sometimes, Cas wished he could go down there, and walk amongst them without everyone parting ways and bowing, curtseying, without any formal ways of addressing him, like: 'your Highness,' or 'my Prince.'

For him to be the King of Far Far Away was the goal of King Zachariah and Queen Naomi, his parents. Well... he didn't really have any other life goals in mind, so why not? But it was usually only a matter of time before he simply got bored, and wished to just blend in.

That is an impossibility, he told himself.

He kept staring out the window.

"Hey there," Dean smirked, shooting a wink over at someone he really wanted to gag after looking at, "Haha... lookin' good tonight... all right!" he grinned, and turned, making his circles around the tavern.

Captain Hook was on piano, providing live entertainment, while Benny, the kingdom's most sociable vampire, was serving drinks. This time of night was the busiest- and what the ugly stepsisters lacked in looks, he's gotta say, they made up for in running a damn good bar.

"How you doing?" he smiled sultrily at an old hag sitting in the back. Her scowl lifted for a second, and she almost seemed to send him a kiss. Dean smiled, and turned away before she could see him shudder. Would it really kill this place to get some hot people in here once in a while?!

God, Dean liked to remember the night, it was last week, he believed, when Sleeping Beauty came in. Let's just say, she did everything but sleep. Dean grinned.

Royalty wasn't very well liked in these parts, especially at the Apple, but princesses were an exception, since they really lived up to fairest of them all title, if you know what I'm saying.

"Hey, tootz," Doris called in her gravelly man-voice, "Get your ass over here! You've got a customer!" She beckoned him over from her stance as bartender, and Mabel snorted a laugh as she waited on a few tables by the window, taking a look at who it was.

Dean sighed, and put on his game face, sauntering up to a, shall we say, regular, customer, that he didn't particularly like, but hey- he didn't call the shots.

"Hey, Robin," he smirked, "How goes it?" The short, athletic man in front of him smiled, twisting a finger around Dean's jaw line. "Only you can get away with calling me that," he drawled, "To everyone else, it's Mr. Hood."

Dean nodded, and held his arm out to the back room. "Right. Shall we?"

Castiel went down to the banquet hall for dinner, where the King and Queen were already seated. "Castiel," his mother frowned, "You look tired. Is everything alright?" Cas looked up, and smiled. "Yes. Of course, everything is fine."

"Bet you're excited for this weekend!" Zachariah commented enthusiastically, grinning at him as he shoveled a forkful of roast beef into his mouth, rather distastefully. Castiel frowned, gingerly picking up his own fork in contrast. "What's this weekend?" "Well, your ceremony of course! When you choose who to marry!"

Castiel squeezed his eyes shut. "Not this again." "Castiel, you have to get married by your 21st birthday! That's only a couple of weeks away, remember!" "Why? Is it written in some, royalty rule book that I must be in wedlock?" To be honest, he really didn't want to get married at all.

"It's inevitable, Castiel. Besides- you know your… problem, is less than desirable. You want to marry before anyone can discover it."

Castiel looked down. This 'problem' Zachariah was referring to was the enchantment spell a wicked witch, Rowena, had put on him when he was unborn to spite Zachariah when he did not return her love for him- - so she swore something would happen to the kingdom's future heir when the sun went down every night.

When it would get dark out, Castiel would grow soft white, translucent wings. In attempt to comfort him, Queen Naomi had told Cas when he was a boy that they were the wings of an angel, that sparkled like diamonds, but in vain, for Castiel was still ashamed of them.

He was by no means a supernatural being- he was every part human, except only… under a witch's curse, that could not be broken.

Zachariah and Naomi forbade Castiel to leave the castle at night for this reason, for they feared that the people of Far Far Away would lose faith in their Prince if they saw his 'flaws.'

Needless to say, the only way Cas could see the kingdom at night was from through his window.

Zach continued to speak, bringing Castiel back to the present. "Your brother, King Balthazar, sent word he would attend the ceremonies," he smiled, "See, he's got a wonderful life. Why can't you be more like him?" Castiel stayed quiet.

Balthazar was six years older than him, and he had married a princess named Rachel to become King of Hamelin. They really were in love, though- and often times, Castiel envied how easy his brother's life had just fallen into place.

"Now- what about that nice... oh, what was her name...? Princess Anna Milton, from the Kingdom of Wingsdale?" Cas shrugged, staring down at his plate. "She was... nice, but painfully shy." "Fine, what about Meg Masters, of Dragonguild?" Cas grimaced. "She scares me."

King Zach rolled his eyes. "Well, you have to choose someone!" "I don't have to do anyth-" "You listen to ME boy! You are the heir to a throne that you WILL carry on as my successor. We're getting old, and can't rule this kingdom forever! Therefore, you will find a suitable partner before you turn twenty-one, so you can take our places! And I don't appreciate your tone with me. Am I clear?"

Cas sighed, and nodded, picking at his food. Queen Naomi couldn't help but feel slightly partial to her son's side of things, but she knew Cas would see soon that his father was only doing what was best for him.

The pale moonlight shone through the small window up above as the springs of the threadbare mattress jolted and creaked underneath Dean and his current client.

Dean was pushed back against it, huffing and puffing as he worked to finish.

He exhaled, long and shallow as he got up from the worn mattress. The muscles in his back gleamed with a thin sheen of sweat in the cascade of dim lighting. "You're the best," Robin Hood told him, grinning, and Dean gave a short nod, running a hand through his damp hair.

"That'll be 200." Robin whistled. "Expensive. Did you raise your prices since last time?" Dean turned, flashing a charming grin. "What can I say? I'm in demand."

Robin chuckled, and counted out a sack of 200 gold pieces, leaving the room with one last glance over of him. Dean re-counted the bag, and grinned to himself. This is what makes the job worth it, he nodded, feeling the weight of the gold in his hand. Then he had to finish the job before going back out, since Robin Hood wasn't particularly skilled in that area.

Once he rejoined everyone in the tavern again, he was ready for his next customer with a quick sigh. "Blackbeard? Right this way, mon Capitain!"

Castiel lay awake that night, staring at his ceiling. It was covered in a beautifully pastel color-painted mural of past events in his family's history, events that led up to where they were now. His eyes ran over the great battles, the love stories and proposals...

He closed his eyes, tossing and turning in under the sheets. He dreaded getting married. He wasn't ready- and he hadn't seen enough of life yet to be weighed down by the responsibility of running the kingdom just yet.

He wondered about his possibilities…

His eyes drifted over to his dark cloak in his closet, the one he had received as a gift from travelling royalty for his sixteenth birthday. He studied it.

Tomorrow was a full moon... maybe if he was lucky, and set out before sundown, he could acquire a potion to mask the enchantment for a while, and he could find Red to show him the way to a good tavern, if she could take the time away from her perpetual wolf hunt.

Maybe he could at least attempt a real adventure before his life was over.